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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Cry It Out?
pootmcgoot 07:28 AM 06-11-2012
M dcb (5 months...almost 6 months) is a screamer. Like, screams half the day screamer when he doesn't get what he wants immidiately. TMI but I've had diarrhea for a few days (caught from him) and I have to lay him down to use the bathroom. This royally pisses him off and starts a scream feat that takes forever to soothe. When I cough hard from the chest cold he gave me it startles him or wakes him and he screams.
Would it be ok to put him in a pnp with white noise in another room? To let him cry it out? I didnt do cio with my kiddo but she wasnt this high needs. I know his mom pulled him from a center because it seemed like all he did was cry. Well, even with just me and my daughter he cries. I'm at my wits end. I am terming, just need to make it through the end of the month. It feels like he's a dictator in MY home instead of a happy addition.
If I do CIO then do I wait til he's quiet to bring him back into my living room? He's fed, clean and not gassy.
Would it be ok to put him in a pnp with white noise in another room? To let him cry it out? I didnt do cio with my kiddo but she wasnt this high needs. I know his mom pulled him from a center because it seemed like all he did was cry. Well, even with just me and my daughter he cries. I'm at my wits end. I am terming, just need to make it through the end of the month. It feels like he's a dictator in MY home instead of a happy addition.
If I do CIO then do I wait til he's quiet to bring him back into my living room? He's fed, clean and not gassy.
AnneCordelia 07:39 AM 06-11-2012
I use cio with my own kids starting at six months. Some babies who are high needs don't respond well to cio though...it just wires them up to yell louder and longer. But you need some sanity too and itnwont hurt the babe to cry for a bit so you can use the restroom or eat something, imo.
Breezy 07:45 AM 06-11-2012
I let my screamer girl CIO. I have no other option unless I hold her all day. She screams from the moment she is dropped off until the moment she is picked up unless I hold her. Right now she is gated in the super gate screaming. If shes out with everyone else all she does is follow me around screaming and putting her arms up in the air. She has toys in the super gate but will she play? No. She stands there and screams.
So I think CIO is fine in some situations.
So I think CIO is fine in some situations.
pootmcgoot 07:55 AM 06-11-2012
I hold him as much as possible but I can't be glued to the couch. It's gotten to the point where I don't want to hold him because of the screaming. I am so sick and I just can't hold him with the way he reacts to my cough.
I'm worried the cops will be called if I let him CIO. I can hear him from outside when he's at the height of his scream fest. He's so loud. I want to hide in my closet just for some quiet.
I think I'll do the CIO in the pnp. Even if he works himself up, it's better he's in there than in my arms screaming bloody murder.
I'm worried the cops will be called if I let him CIO. I can hear him from outside when he's at the height of his scream fest. He's so loud. I want to hide in my closet just for some quiet.
I think I'll do the CIO in the pnp. Even if he works himself up, it's better he's in there than in my arms screaming bloody murder.
Blackcat31 07:57 AM 06-11-2012
SOME kids respond well to CIO and others who are held all day at home by mom's/dad's or are high needs babies do not do well and only get worse.
Speaking from experience as I recently have been granted a reprieve from my super high needs screamer (mom is a teacher so he is off all summer) I can NOT tell you enough that it is so not worth it. If the child is not showing signs of improvment within a week or two at the longest AND if the parents are not on board and being honest with you and helping to break the habit, it is NOT going to change.
It just isn't. It is so not worth it. I would term now if he isn't getting better as it will get worse. I cannot believe how releived I am to be free of the constant crying/screaming and really had no idea how badly itwas effecting me as I have a good tolerance to this sort of thing and I never get all anxious or upset about it but since this kid has been gone, I can't believe the good mood I have been in.
Not to mention my other DCK's. They apparently were suffering from the constant screaming too as alot of the issues I was having with certain kids are suddenly gone now.
My screamer will be back but not til Sept and hopefully better by then as he will be over 1 and mom is NOT a holder as her screams at home too.....so much so that the older sister who was suppose to come 3 days a week this summer has been begging mom to let her come everyday so she can get away from her brother! LOL!
In my case, we have a plan in place where if the DCB is still bad in the fall, mom has a back up plan for him (nanny) and will only bring older sister.
So my advice is that if you really don't see any improvement and/or you know parents are not supporting you and refraining from holding 24/7, you need to term. Some kids are just not cut out for daycare.
Speaking from experience as I recently have been granted a reprieve from my super high needs screamer (mom is a teacher so he is off all summer) I can NOT tell you enough that it is so not worth it. If the child is not showing signs of improvment within a week or two at the longest AND if the parents are not on board and being honest with you and helping to break the habit, it is NOT going to change.
It just isn't. It is so not worth it. I would term now if he isn't getting better as it will get worse. I cannot believe how releived I am to be free of the constant crying/screaming and really had no idea how badly itwas effecting me as I have a good tolerance to this sort of thing and I never get all anxious or upset about it but since this kid has been gone, I can't believe the good mood I have been in.
Not to mention my other DCK's. They apparently were suffering from the constant screaming too as alot of the issues I was having with certain kids are suddenly gone now.
My screamer will be back but not til Sept and hopefully better by then as he will be over 1 and mom is NOT a holder as her screams at home too.....so much so that the older sister who was suppose to come 3 days a week this summer has been begging mom to let her come everyday so she can get away from her brother! LOL!
In my case, we have a plan in place where if the DCB is still bad in the fall, mom has a back up plan for him (nanny) and will only bring older sister.
So my advice is that if you really don't see any improvement and/or you know parents are not supporting you and refraining from holding 24/7, you need to term. Some kids are just not cut out for daycare.
youretooloud 08:39 AM 06-11-2012
I am extremely against cry it out.
BUT, if you have tried everything BUT that, I'd give it a shot. I wouldn't leave him there for 20 minutes to work it out alone in a room. But, he might really NEED to put himself to sleep alone. His fussiness could be caused by his lack of sleep. I always roll my eyes when parents say "He wakes up every 45 minutes. He just doesn't need sleep". Then, they wonder why he's such an unhappy baby. "He's high needs" comes right after "He doesn't require much sleep". It's like the thought that the poor kid needs to sleep so he can be happy never occurred to them.
Honestly, 99% of my infants put themselves to sleep. Some fuss to sleep, some just roll around and happily go to sleep.
Sometimes, it's the way we have to put babies down that causes the problems. Mom might be letting him sleep on his tummy, or in a cradled position, but we just put them on a flat surface. If he's not used to that, it's the end of the whole entire world!
BUT, if you have tried everything BUT that, I'd give it a shot. I wouldn't leave him there for 20 minutes to work it out alone in a room. But, he might really NEED to put himself to sleep alone. His fussiness could be caused by his lack of sleep. I always roll my eyes when parents say "He wakes up every 45 minutes. He just doesn't need sleep". Then, they wonder why he's such an unhappy baby. "He's high needs" comes right after "He doesn't require much sleep". It's like the thought that the poor kid needs to sleep so he can be happy never occurred to them.
Honestly, 99% of my infants put themselves to sleep. Some fuss to sleep, some just roll around and happily go to sleep.
Sometimes, it's the way we have to put babies down that causes the problems. Mom might be letting him sleep on his tummy, or in a cradled position, but we just put them on a flat surface. If he's not used to that, it's the end of the whole entire world!
pootmcgoot 08:46 AM 06-11-2012
His mom said he naps for 20 mins then is awake and wants to be held. So she does. He sleeps 3-4 hours here on a good day. Bad days (Monday's) I have to fight him to get him to sleep. He's so overly tired. I can tell because of his sleep cues.
I hated to do CIO with my daughter. But with daycare boy, seems like breastfeeding is his only soother.
I hated to do CIO with my daughter. But with daycare boy, seems like breastfeeding is his only soother.
christinaskids 08:52 AM 06-11-2012
I found what works for me with some kids is putting them in the pnp to cry for a few minutes then i get them out and put them with some toys or something to play with and if they cry again, i put them back in the pnp and rinse and repeat. They get it after a few minutes. I think the parent has to be on board too. Not many parents wish that their baby is unhappy all day.
Heidi 08:55 AM 06-11-2012
I have one that started last week..7mo...he cried EVERY time I put him down, and a lot of the time I was holding him.
Mom found out Saturday that he has an ear infection. If the meds don't cure the screaming this week, I will give her notice at weeks' end.
Oh, and he's here in the evenings 3:30-8:30. Too much chaos for my family at that time of day!
Mom found out Saturday that he has an ear infection. If the meds don't cure the screaming this week, I will give her notice at weeks' end.
Oh, and he's here in the evenings 3:30-8:30. Too much chaos for my family at that time of day!
cheerfuldom 08:57 AM 06-11-2012
sounds like terming is the way to go. you cant overcome all the issues he has with sleeping and eating when his mother and you are not working together to have consistency for him. I have had my share of really bad screamers in the last five years.
One I kept for a year and she never got better. Had to let her go when my second daughter was born.
One was termed because parents refused to put her down (and did want us to hold her ALL day). She was about 9 months.
Another did get somewhat better around a year when baby got mobile
The rest of the kids did cry and that is just part of the age and usually can be overcome with consistency. But obviously your little one is way beyond this point. If CIO is your last resort before terming, then at least try it for a few days and see if there is any progress. I would imagine that a good part of the issue is due to baby's poor sleeping at home, and baby being nursed as comfort (which is not an option at daycare of course)
Not every kid does well at daycare. and to be honest, the majority of babies under one that I have seen really struggle. daycare is not ideal for babies at all.
One I kept for a year and she never got better. Had to let her go when my second daughter was born.
One was termed because parents refused to put her down (and did want us to hold her ALL day). She was about 9 months.
Another did get somewhat better around a year when baby got mobile
The rest of the kids did cry and that is just part of the age and usually can be overcome with consistency. But obviously your little one is way beyond this point. If CIO is your last resort before terming, then at least try it for a few days and see if there is any progress. I would imagine that a good part of the issue is due to baby's poor sleeping at home, and baby being nursed as comfort (which is not an option at daycare of course)
Not every kid does well at daycare. and to be honest, the majority of babies under one that I have seen really struggle. daycare is not ideal for babies at all.