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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>How To Handle Being A Non-Christian Provider..
Unregistered 10:35 AM 10-16-2012
I am not an atheist. I think the word agnostic best describes me. This is not a personal attack on anyone, as i hope it does not become an attack on me. I will not go into musch detail, but there are many readings and things I mediatae upon to keep myself intact spritually and mentally, and I am a decen kind person.
I know many daycares our proud to announce that they are christian centers. I see absolutely nothing wrong with that. My husband knows my stance, but I am careful not to put my veiws off on my own children. I believe in many christian principles, and see nothing wrong with my children following them.
At an interview i had a grandmother ask me what church I belong to. I answered honestly of the church that we are currently memebers of that we use to visit religously and now drop in if we feel like it. I knew she was more asking if I were a christian, but I didn't know what to do at that moment. I am respectful of other's beliefs and don't feel the need to try to persuade anyone anyway or the other. I had never been asked that before. I was completely caught off gaurd. The little girl enrolled and I can tell that this is a family of sweet, whole hearted christians.
In my spare time, I like to scroll through the buddhist quotes app on my droid. I am in no way buddhist, but find some of the beliefs and quotes help me stay calm and appreciative, and help me want to take care of people and things that are less fortunate or in need. At pick-up one day one mother ran in and said, 'OMG! I just saw a buddhist temple in this area! I had never seen one here before!" I didn't know if I was supposed to be shocked, happy, outraged, or what emotion she wanted from me, so I just said..."hmmm...really?" and tried to look confused. In my head I was thinking I should visit there.
I am afraid that religion will come up since I am planning a Halloween party. Maybe it will come up at the Thanksgiving feast when they notice that no grace was said...Maybe it will come up at Christmas time! Are there any other providers in the same boat?
I am very sweet, and nurturing to each child in my care. They learn a lot and feel at home. I have a gentle understanding spirit, and feed them nothing but fresh fruit and veggies, whole grains, lean meats. I dance with them, and cuddle when they cry, so I don't want to hear,"I wouldn't want my child in your care." I just don't want to offend th efamilies, I don't want their idea of me to change. I am trying to come up with a respectful, honest way to handle this touchy subject should it arise.
Thanks
I know many daycares our proud to announce that they are christian centers. I see absolutely nothing wrong with that. My husband knows my stance, but I am careful not to put my veiws off on my own children. I believe in many christian principles, and see nothing wrong with my children following them.
At an interview i had a grandmother ask me what church I belong to. I answered honestly of the church that we are currently memebers of that we use to visit religously and now drop in if we feel like it. I knew she was more asking if I were a christian, but I didn't know what to do at that moment. I am respectful of other's beliefs and don't feel the need to try to persuade anyone anyway or the other. I had never been asked that before. I was completely caught off gaurd. The little girl enrolled and I can tell that this is a family of sweet, whole hearted christians.
In my spare time, I like to scroll through the buddhist quotes app on my droid. I am in no way buddhist, but find some of the beliefs and quotes help me stay calm and appreciative, and help me want to take care of people and things that are less fortunate or in need. At pick-up one day one mother ran in and said, 'OMG! I just saw a buddhist temple in this area! I had never seen one here before!" I didn't know if I was supposed to be shocked, happy, outraged, or what emotion she wanted from me, so I just said..."hmmm...really?" and tried to look confused. In my head I was thinking I should visit there.
I am afraid that religion will come up since I am planning a Halloween party. Maybe it will come up at the Thanksgiving feast when they notice that no grace was said...Maybe it will come up at Christmas time! Are there any other providers in the same boat?
I am very sweet, and nurturing to each child in my care. They learn a lot and feel at home. I have a gentle understanding spirit, and feed them nothing but fresh fruit and veggies, whole grains, lean meats. I dance with them, and cuddle when they cry, so I don't want to hear,"I wouldn't want my child in your care." I just don't want to offend th efamilies, I don't want their idea of me to change. I am trying to come up with a respectful, honest way to handle this touchy subject should it arise.
Thanks
Blackcat31 10:43 AM 10-16-2012
The easiest way for me to avoid this whole topic is to keep my political and religious beliefs 100% OUT of my program.
I am respectful and accepting of ALL religious and political parties and beliefs and would NEVER term or accept a family solely based on those personal choices....just as I would never ask families to share theirs with me, I don't share mine with them.
It is your right to stay neutral and not share any of those thoughts, choices or opinions with any clients. Current or prospective.
I am respectful and accepting of ALL religious and political parties and beliefs and would NEVER term or accept a family solely based on those personal choices....just as I would never ask families to share theirs with me, I don't share mine with them.
It is your right to stay neutral and not share any of those thoughts, choices or opinions with any clients. Current or prospective.
cheerfuldom 10:50 AM 10-16-2012
I think you should stand by your beliefs and not feel that you have something to prove in order to convince parents to stay with your daycare. You have right to live your life as you see fit but you also need to consider that the parents have a right to place their children with providers that are likeminded. If something comes up in the future about religious beliefs, I would personally be general and vague about it. While I am personally a Christian, I never get into religious discussions with my daycare parents and strive to remain professional. that doesnt mean that I am ashamed to be a Christian...because I am not. I just dont believe that me being so has any bearing on the type of provider I am and the business I run. I would direct the conversation back to what I CAN offer the family versus what I cant.
I really think you are over thinking this OP. Just carry on as normal and if it becomes an issue later and parents push for a clear answer from you then you answer and let the chips fall where they may. If parents are very focused on a provider of like faith, then they have right to at least see where you stand and decide if it is something they can life with or not. As you are not promoting specific religious beliefs or curriculum within your daycare setting, I dont see that it would be an issue for 99% of people.
I really think you are over thinking this OP. Just carry on as normal and if it becomes an issue later and parents push for a clear answer from you then you answer and let the chips fall where they may. If parents are very focused on a provider of like faith, then they have right to at least see where you stand and decide if it is something they can life with or not. As you are not promoting specific religious beliefs or curriculum within your daycare setting, I dont see that it would be an issue for 99% of people.
daycarediva 11:03 AM 10-16-2012
I also think you are over thinking it. I live in a VERY bible thumping area and I have never had an issue.
I also would describe myself as agnostic. When asked at interview I say that my program remains neutral. I also state that while I consider myself a partner in parenting their children, I believe that spiritual beliefs are up to the parents to instill.We do celebrate holidays, but it is more like the school. We include people of all races, genders, abilities and religions. I have one very christian family in my care, their dd says grace at lunch in summer, nobody has ever commented, but I think she's adorable.
I also would describe myself as agnostic. When asked at interview I say that my program remains neutral. I also state that while I consider myself a partner in parenting their children, I believe that spiritual beliefs are up to the parents to instill.We do celebrate holidays, but it is more like the school. We include people of all races, genders, abilities and religions. I have one very christian family in my care, their dd says grace at lunch in summer, nobody has ever commented, but I think she's adorable.
Crystal 11:05 AM 10-16-2012
I would just state that I am a non-sectarian daycare and we do not discuss religious beliefs with dck.
If the parents for some reason push the issue, tell them you simply are not comfortable discussing personal beliefs with business clients.
Oh, and we do not celebrate holidays with DCK at all. Because of the diversity of our area, it is not practical for me to celebrate each religions/cultures holidays so we do not celebrate any of them....that way no one is left out.
If the parents for some reason push the issue, tell them you simply are not comfortable discussing personal beliefs with business clients.
Oh, and we do not celebrate holidays with DCK at all. Because of the diversity of our area, it is not practical for me to celebrate each religions/cultures holidays so we do not celebrate any of them....that way no one is left out.
Sugar Magnolia 11:09 AM 10-16-2012
I don't think it will come up too much. It's no ones business but yours. If asked, you can say "my program is not faith based." It shouldn't hurt your business at all. Parents who place a very high level of importance on that type of thing will likely seek out care that is faith based. Quality of care is whats important.
I do have a good agnostic joke:
"Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic? They are not sure if dog exists."
I do have a good agnostic joke:
"Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic? They are not sure if dog exists."
Heidi 11:10 AM 10-16-2012
So, although you are not a Christian, you have a Judo-Christian value system that meshes with your dcf's. I agree that it really shouldn't even come up. If asked, and I have been, I say we are Christians but that I do not provide religious instruction, and that I welcome people of all faiths into my program.
For your Thanksgiving feast, I assume dcp's are there, I would simply ask if anyone would like to say grace. That takes you off the hook saying something you may feel "off" about.
I always think of it this way...if someone from another religion blesses me with their beliefs, I see it as a gift. So, if someone wants to bless the food, although I may not feel strongly about it, it can only be a good thing.
If someone said "Happy Hanukah" to me, I would also consider that a blessing...they are wishing me something good that means something to THEM. Saying "Happy Holidays" or something benign like that just to say it (no meaning behind it), is not a gift...it's a customer service tool.
For your Thanksgiving feast, I assume dcp's are there, I would simply ask if anyone would like to say grace. That takes you off the hook saying something you may feel "off" about.
I always think of it this way...if someone from another religion blesses me with their beliefs, I see it as a gift. So, if someone wants to bless the food, although I may not feel strongly about it, it can only be a good thing.
If someone said "Happy Hanukah" to me, I would also consider that a blessing...they are wishing me something good that means something to THEM. Saying "Happy Holidays" or something benign like that just to say it (no meaning behind it), is not a gift...it's a customer service tool.
littlemissmuffet 12:30 PM 10-16-2012
I am an atheist, but it's not a topic that ever gets brought up in my daycare/with my daycare families. My husband and I don't traditionally celebrate Christian based holidays like Christmas and Easter - but we do still decorate, do holiday crafts and have holiday fun with the daycare kiddos.
I have families in my care that do not celebrate holidays at all, families who are extremely religious and probably everything in between.
We don't encourage talk of religion or politics in our home with clients... if it did come up, we would simply reply with "That's not something I'm comfortable discussing". If a child has questions specifically about religion or God(s), we refer them to mom/dad to discuss further
I wouldn't worry how a client might react to you having a Halloween party, or not saying grace at Thanksgiving... honestly, if a parent requires that their child be looked after by a Christian/other religious provider than they should ask about it before even interviewing!
I have families in my care that do not celebrate holidays at all, families who are extremely religious and probably everything in between.
We don't encourage talk of religion or politics in our home with clients... if it did come up, we would simply reply with "That's not something I'm comfortable discussing". If a child has questions specifically about religion or God(s), we refer them to mom/dad to discuss further
I wouldn't worry how a client might react to you having a Halloween party, or not saying grace at Thanksgiving... honestly, if a parent requires that their child be looked after by a Christian/other religious provider than they should ask about it before even interviewing!
itlw8 01:11 PM 10-16-2012
maybe she was just trying to see if you knew some people she knew. Like another referance
Alice Of Legend 03:20 PM 10-16-2012
Originally Posted by daycarediva:
When asked at interview I say that my program remains neutral. I also state that while I consider myself a partner in parenting their children, I believe that spiritual beliefs are up to the parents to instill.We do celebrate holidays, but it is more like the school. We include people of all races, genders, abilities and religions.:
I've only had the question come up once in all my interviews and this was almost the exact thing I said to them. They have been with me for quite awhile now. When asked at interview I say that my program remains neutral. I also state that while I consider myself a partner in parenting their children, I believe that spiritual beliefs are up to the parents to instill.We do celebrate holidays, but it is more like the school. We include people of all races, genders, abilities and religions.:
I too am an atheist and like LittleMissMuffet said, even though my family does not traditionally celebrate the religious holidays (like Christmas, Hanukkah, Easter) I do however do holiday based crafts, stories, and activities with the kids. I also do not discourage religious choices or beliefs, if a child wants to pray before they eat they are more than welcome too.
My stance on religion does not affect my ability to provide a safe and stimulating environment for the children in my care so I don't even get into those conversations with parents.
dave4him 03:26 PM 10-16-2012
Living smack down in the Bible belt, its pretty uncommon around here for anyone to not be fine with it, even when they do not believe. I for one would have trouble not expressing my own faith through words and actions, and all the parents know that. I do not advertise it though, its simply who i am.
Willow 04:40 PM 10-16-2012
I think I understand where you're coming from OP.
I was raised full on Roman Catholic, and with every belief that entails.
As an adult I am non-practicing. Organized religion has no appeal to me and we are not raising our children to believe or disbelieve anything. I'm not even sure you could call me Christian as much of that involves beliefs about Christ himself and (silly as it sounds) watching the movie The Passion brought up some serious doubts in my mind about Christ and his reported life and death.
All of that said I am INCREDIBLY spiritual. I am definitely hyper sensitive when it comes to my feelings about my God and how I feel spirituality influences what I do in my life. I do worry about how others perceive that. I worry that others will peg me as someone I'm not because of it. Not enough that it'll ever change how I feel, but still, it hurts when someone judges you wrongly. Especially when that judgement surrounds something as personal and private as your own beliefs.
My advice? If you feel the need to be open about it, then be open about it. Persecution over beliefs shouldn't be tolerated (imho) and I would never want to be watching the children of someone who thought less of me for any reason - much less this one. A simple "I respect the beliefs of all just as Christ would" will do. If you don't want to be open about it, you have every right to that as well. It's no more anyone's business than the color of your underwear. If someone happens to make it an issue,or inadvertently insults you simply refuse to be part of the conversation. The above quote will work universally here too.
(If I were you I'd be curious about checking out the new temple too
)
I was raised full on Roman Catholic, and with every belief that entails.
As an adult I am non-practicing. Organized religion has no appeal to me and we are not raising our children to believe or disbelieve anything. I'm not even sure you could call me Christian as much of that involves beliefs about Christ himself and (silly as it sounds) watching the movie The Passion brought up some serious doubts in my mind about Christ and his reported life and death.
All of that said I am INCREDIBLY spiritual. I am definitely hyper sensitive when it comes to my feelings about my God and how I feel spirituality influences what I do in my life. I do worry about how others perceive that. I worry that others will peg me as someone I'm not because of it. Not enough that it'll ever change how I feel, but still, it hurts when someone judges you wrongly. Especially when that judgement surrounds something as personal and private as your own beliefs.
My advice? If you feel the need to be open about it, then be open about it. Persecution over beliefs shouldn't be tolerated (imho) and I would never want to be watching the children of someone who thought less of me for any reason - much less this one. A simple "I respect the beliefs of all just as Christ would" will do. If you don't want to be open about it, you have every right to that as well. It's no more anyone's business than the color of your underwear. If someone happens to make it an issue,or inadvertently insults you simply refuse to be part of the conversation. The above quote will work universally here too.
(If I were you I'd be curious about checking out the new temple too
)
EntropyControlSpecialist 05:40 PM 10-16-2012
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
I think you should stand by your beliefs and not feel that you have something to prove in order to convince parents to stay with your daycare.
I agree.I think you should stand by your beliefs and not feel that you have something to prove in order to convince parents to stay with your daycare.
We are Christian run and the word "Christian" is even in our name. I once had a Mom come in that didn't want her daughter to see Princess books because she didn't want it forced upon her and she didn't want her daughter having a pink blanket because she didn't want the color pink forced upon her either. The list rambled on and on during the interview process and eventually we got to religion. The first question I was asked was, "Do you force Christianity down the children's throats?"
I'm not sure how anyone forces a religion down a Preschoolers throat, but I answered, "Well, we read from the Bible daily, learn the 10 Commandments, learn how to pray and do it at each meal time, sing Christian songs, and approach each thematic unit from a Christian perspective ..." She never called back. I suppose she wanted a religious free Preschool and I never could figure out how she thought one with the word "Christian" in the name was just what she was looking for. At some point, there's going to be a person who has an issue. There always is no matter what and you know what? That's ok. They have as much right to find a provider that they feel comfortable with as you do holding the religious views that you do. I feel confident in saying that I don't think you will have any issues with staying full simply because of religion.