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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>written warning notices???
kayla 07:37 AM 11-09-2012
hello everyone, I need some advice on how to write a written warning to a family. I do not want to kick them out I just want to give them written warning. There 18 mos old is constantly hitting and throwing things, well today it went overboard. He threw a toy and hit dcg in the face splitting her lip open... I am open to any suggestions... Thanks.
Blackcat31 07:51 AM 11-09-2012
Dear Family
Joey's behavior has become more aggressive and dangerous to others in care. At this time, I am putting him on a probationary period where some improment in his behavior will be necessary for him to remain enrolled in my care.
As his parents, you will need to create a plan of action to help reinforce to him that hitting and throwing is NOT acceptable. Once you have a plan in place, please let me know and I will gladly work with you in solving this issue.
It is extremely important that you understand that at his age, it is vital that he have the same consistency and reinforcement both at home and at daycare.
Thank you,
Provider.
fwiw~ I wanted to add that I don't think that you should give the family a warning about this. I feel this way for a couple reasons.
One is that what he is doing is completely on par with development. He is frustrated and does not have the vocabulary skills to communicate so instead he throws and hits. That is what kids his age do.
I also feel that if he does this while in your care, then it is kind of on you. kwim? His parents can't really "train" him to not hit or throw things when they arent' there. You are the one supervising so I honestly feel this falls on you. The only way I can see it being the parents responsibility is if they are encouraging or supporting that type of play at home.
18 months is still pretty young so he needs guidance and 100% total supervision so that throwing/hitting can be cut off BEFORE it happens.
I know that isn't always possible but at the same time, I kind of think this behavior is pretty much par for the course for kids in this age group.
NOT saying it is ok...just saying that there are things you can do while you are with him to stop this behavior.
Hoping the little girl with the split lip is ok
Joey's behavior has become more aggressive and dangerous to others in care. At this time, I am putting him on a probationary period where some improment in his behavior will be necessary for him to remain enrolled in my care.
As his parents, you will need to create a plan of action to help reinforce to him that hitting and throwing is NOT acceptable. Once you have a plan in place, please let me know and I will gladly work with you in solving this issue.
It is extremely important that you understand that at his age, it is vital that he have the same consistency and reinforcement both at home and at daycare.
Thank you,
Provider.
fwiw~ I wanted to add that I don't think that you should give the family a warning about this. I feel this way for a couple reasons.
One is that what he is doing is completely on par with development. He is frustrated and does not have the vocabulary skills to communicate so instead he throws and hits. That is what kids his age do.
I also feel that if he does this while in your care, then it is kind of on you. kwim? His parents can't really "train" him to not hit or throw things when they arent' there. You are the one supervising so I honestly feel this falls on you. The only way I can see it being the parents responsibility is if they are encouraging or supporting that type of play at home.
18 months is still pretty young so he needs guidance and 100% total supervision so that throwing/hitting can be cut off BEFORE it happens.
I know that isn't always possible but at the same time, I kind of think this behavior is pretty much par for the course for kids in this age group.
NOT saying it is ok...just saying that there are things you can do while you are with him to stop this behavior.
Hoping the little girl with the split lip is ok
daycare 08:00 AM 11-09-2012
I agree with cat.... this is something that is on you when a child is this age, I think that the parents would be very upset if you tried to put this on them.
You need to be proactive in how you deal with the child instead of reactive.
at 18 months, you need to be able to show them what you expect from them.
Model the behavior you want and stop the behavior before it happens.
give them words to use, like nice hands, gentle please and so on.
let them know, hitting is not nice, make a sad face and tell them no.
You need to be proactive in how you deal with the child instead of reactive.
at 18 months, you need to be able to show them what you expect from them.
Model the behavior you want and stop the behavior before it happens.
give them words to use, like nice hands, gentle please and so on.
let them know, hitting is not nice, make a sad face and tell them no.
cheerfuldom 08:11 AM 11-09-2012
I agree with the others. I find that warning letters almost always have parents very offended, cause them to lose confidence in your capabilities, or immediately pull their child from your care. If you feel that there is something specific that the parents CAN do at home to address this and cause immediate improvement then by all means, communicate that. Otherwise a warning letter comes across more as a complaint than anything else. If you have a plan in mind and need their support in implementing it, I think it would be better to send a warning and add "the follow methods will be used in order to address this behavior at daycare.....I would appreciate your support in these methods and believe that consistency will make an immediate difference in Aidens behavior" that way you are communicating an issue as well as a solution. I find that most parents really dont know what to do and that looking to them for leadership with this type of situation does not work. As others said, it is developmentally normal although of course it is not appropriate. If you feel that he needs more supervision and direction than you can currently provide, I would go ahead with a term letter rather than giving him more time in the same environment where your current solutions are not having the affect needed. maybe he is just not the right fit for your group.
kayla 08:13 AM 11-09-2012
I understand it is common, but the mom thinks its no big deal.. she thinks its cute when he throws... And she even let her child hit my son in front of me without doing anything bout it.. So in this case how am I suppose to be the only one to enforce things when it is ok for him to do these things at home??
daycare 08:18 AM 11-09-2012
Originally Posted by kayla:
I understand it is common, but the mom thinks its no big deal.. she thinks its cute when he throws... And she even let her child hit my son in front of me without doing anything bout it.. So in this case how am I suppose to be the only one to enforce things when it is ok for him to do these things at home??
when the child did this, what did you do?I understand it is common, but the mom thinks its no big deal.. she thinks its cute when he throws... And she even let her child hit my son in front of me without doing anything bout it.. So in this case how am I suppose to be the only one to enforce things when it is ok for him to do these things at home??
I would do what cheer said....let them know that there is an issue and that by working together you can resolve it.
kayla 09:15 AM 11-09-2012
I said we dont hit thats not nice, we be nice to babies... and the mom looked at me and laughed
daycare 09:23 AM 11-09-2012
Originally Posted by kayla:
I said we dont hit thats not nice, we be nice to babies... and the mom looked at me and laughed
you know these parents, we don't. If you think that a letter warning them is what they need, then I say do it.... I said we dont hit thats not nice, we be nice to babies... and the mom looked at me and laughed
I like the letter that BC wrote and think that if you have already tried to talking with the family to find a solution to the problem by working together, then I guess this is what comes next...