Default Style Register
Daycare.com Forum
Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>What Should I Do?
Toni's Tots 12:29 PM 10-21-2011
I have a drop in dck today that I know has been "terminated" from several other daycares in the area for inappropriate behavior. During "quiet time" I went in to check on them because they were watching a movie in my son's room and when I went in there my son told me that the other kid was pulling up his shirt and also pulled out his peepee. This kid is only four years old! Should I just tell the mom about it or do I need to report this?
Reply
wdmmom 12:31 PM 10-21-2011
Time to go!

He just violated Policy #1! Keep your hands/feet/body to yourself!
Reply
Heidi 12:37 PM 10-21-2011
Originally Posted by Toni's Tots:
I have a drop in dck today that I know has been "terminated" from several other daycares in the area for inappropriate behavior. During "quiet time" I went in to check on them because they were watching a movie in my son's room and when I went in there my son told me that the other kid was pulling up his shirt and also pulled out his peepee. This kid is only four years old! Should I just tell the mom about it or do I need to report this?
I would call your licenser. It may need to be reported to DCF, or it could be just a curious kid. Playing "doctor" used to be considered normal, although no one was thrilled with it, I am sure.
Reply
godiva83 12:45 PM 10-21-2011
I would tell Mum he did a little 'peep' show, find out if this is a common thing for him to do ect.
A lot of young children flash, and of he has behavior issues or an exceptionality it is even more common a lot of children on the Autism Spectrum enjoy being sans clothes because of sensory.

IMO if there was no touching, no physical and just a show I wouldn't call licensing right away; however, still take it seriously there needs to be appropriate social boundaries and he should no this is not prohibited outside of his home. Talk to Mum, be open, respectful and to the point- fingers crossed she will offer the same
Reply
Toni's Tots 12:47 PM 10-21-2011
Originally Posted by godiva83:
I would tell Mum he did a little 'peep' show, find out if this is a common thing for him to do ect.
The thing is it sounds like it wasn't his that he pulled out....it sounds like it was my sons that he pulled out. I didn't see anything happen myself but I'm still not sure what to make of it.
Reply
daycare 12:48 PM 10-21-2011
I don't know if you have to report it, maybe call just in case you are supposed to.

Honestly, I have been where you are. I had a DCB that had been kicked out of 9, yes 9 different DCH and Centers before coming to me. The mom was very honest about it and I was very hesitant to want to bring the child on.

The only reason that I considered it was because he was not violent, just really bad behavior and mom was willing to do anything. Her words and actions showed it.

So I took this kid on after having a long talk with the mom about what I expected from her and what would happen if I could not handle the boy. He was almost 3 when he came.

Some of the things that I did were, if the boy was too much to deal with, mom had to come pick him up and mom was not to reward teh child in anyway. She was on board and really wanted it to work... This was the only way that I was willing to take him on. I also had to seperate him at times from the group and create his own play space. I figured taht this child just really needed to be given a chance and I was it.

Well there were other things that I also required and guess what. He just needed someone to show him right instead of always pointing out his wrong. He became one of the best behaved sweet children in the DC.. He stayed with me until he just left for kinder this fall.

I cried when he left.....It was a lot of work on my part and I did stress along the way, but I would not change a thing. I am happy to know that I was able to help him when no one else would.
Reply
godiva83 12:52 PM 10-21-2011
@ daycare, that is awesome far too many kids these days fall thru the cracks.. Good for you not everyone can do that, and that's okay too

If he touched your son that is a big NO and really should be brought up
Reply
cheerfuldom 12:56 PM 10-21-2011
are you licensed?

do NOT take this child back. also, the kids really need to have supervision at all times no matter who is there.
Reply
daycare 12:57 PM 10-21-2011
Sorry I forgot to address that stuff. Yes, I would talk to the mom abotu it for sure.

I think if this kid is going to stay, you will have to set boundries from day one with him and the mom.

AND sorry, I wasn't trying to tell you that you should give this child a chance, I know that there are some we can't save.... I was just throwing that story out there to help you maybe think about it....lol

Just curious, how many days is the child drop in? If its not consistent enough, then i would say you are rolling a rock up a hill. ANd should maybe let go of the kid before he causes you more headache.
Reply
laundrymom 12:59 PM 10-21-2011
I would talk to mom. I like the term peep show. And from now on. Sight AND sound. Every moment.
Reply
Toni's Tots 01:20 PM 10-21-2011
Originally Posted by daycare:
Sorry I forgot to address that stuff. Yes, I would talk to the mom abotu it for sure.

I think if this kid is going to stay, you will have to set boundries from day one with him and the mom.

AND sorry, I wasn't trying to tell you that you should give this child a chance, I know that there are some we can't save.... I was just throwing that story out there to help you maybe think about it....lol

Just curious, how many days is the child drop in? If its not consistent enough, then i would say you are rolling a rock up a hill. ANd should maybe let go of the kid before he causes you more headache.
This is the first day he's been here, I would love to try and help him because he is a very sweet boy! I think he's just got some problems that he needs help with. But he goes to someone else most days, and thats why I'm thinking about just mentioning it to the mother.
Reply
daycare 01:58 PM 10-21-2011
Originally Posted by Toni's Tots:
This is the first day he's been here, I would love to try and help him because he is a very sweet boy! I think he's just got some problems that he needs help with. But he goes to someone else most days, and thats why I'm thinking about just mentioning it to the mother.
Is he in a different DC than yours as well? Why two different places...
Reply
Crystal 02:12 PM 10-21-2011
How old is your son?
Reply
sharlan 02:29 PM 10-21-2011
Get clarification from your son and the other boy before you do or say anything.

If he pulled out your son's penis, then you definitely need to have a talk with both boys and explain "private areas" to them. Then have a discussion with the mom and explain that you find this unacceptable behavior and need her on board.

If he pulled out his own, then have a discussion with him, explaining that this is not appropriate daycare behavior. Then have the same discussion with the mom.

My 3 yo gave the other boys a quick peep show a couple of weeks ago. The older ones handled it very well, "That's gross!", and walked away. We then had a talk about inappropriate behavior. So far, no more episodes.
Reply
MamaBear 02:42 PM 10-21-2011
If it was me - I would for sure talk to the mom and I would terminate immediately. I wouldn't let him be alone with the other kids whatsoever... especially if its his first day. If anyone did that to my son or any of the other kids, they would be gone the second after I discovered it happened. Period. But thats just my opinion.

What was the "Inappropriate Behavior" he had at the other daycares? Was it doing this type of thing?
Reply
grandmom 02:46 PM 10-21-2011
can-of-worms

I'd think long and hard about reporting it. First, they are age mates, and my understanding is 5 years age difference. Second, if you call your licensor, you will be told to report it. Third, this is on THEIR record for life. Once reported, even the victim has a file. I had an employee who was actually molested at 5. She worked for me when she was 16. My licensor asked about her molestation. WHAT? Her records are now in my file. Do you want this for another child, even your son, if this was in fact just show and tell?

And at the same time, this drop in child would NEVER be in a room you are not in. There's a reason he was terminated. You probably just found it.
Reply
MamaBear 02:50 PM 10-21-2011
Originally Posted by grandmom;:

And at the same time, this drop in child would NEVER be in a room you are not in. There's a reason he was terminated. You probably just found it.
Agree! Unfortunately this is probably why he didn't cut it at the other daycares
Reply
Tags:inappropriate behavior, inappropriate touching, privates, quiet time, terminate - inappropriate behavior
Reply Up