Default Style Register
Daycare.com Forum
Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Humping
mrsnj 02:49 PM 11-10-2014
I have a child getting ready to go into school who humps all day long. It used to be just during naptime to fall asleep. Now we stop in the middle of playing to hump. We have done it so hard that his diaper (nooooooooooooope not fully trained yet) will fall off and he makes grunting noises so much that the other kids stop and stare. Now I know all about 'its normal' Seen it. Nothing new. But it is disruptive. I have never had a child in the middle of playing with his friends stop in the yard and start humping! Or stop while playing cars with friends and start humping in the middle of the roadway. He goes to school in the fall next year. I have started putting my foot down with him but am looking on tricks that others might have used to help break the habit. Suggestions?
Reply
AuntTami 03:02 PM 11-10-2014
What about his own "spot" to do it in?-- Not sure if this is a "good idea" but it was the first thought in my head, kind of like a "cry spot"

For instance, tell him "if you MUST do that, you need to go do it in the bathroom, away from everyone else. It's inappropriate and no one wants to be around you when you're doing that"

My thought is that he'll catch on that it's not funny, and that when he does it, he can't be around his friends, which may him stop.
Reply
Cradle2crayons 04:47 PM 11-10-2014
Originally Posted by mrsnj:
I have a child getting ready to go into school who humps all day long. It used to be just during naptime to fall asleep. Now we stop in the middle of playing to hump. We have done it so hard that his diaper (nooooooooooooope not fully trained yet) will fall off and he makes grunting noises so much that the other kids stop and stare. Now I know all about 'its normal' Seen it. Nothing new. But it is disruptive. I have never had a child in the middle of playing with his friends stop in the yard and start humping! Or stop while playing cars with friends and start humping in the middle of the roadway. He goes to school in the fall next year. I have started putting my foot down with him but am looking on tricks that others might have used to help break the habit. Suggestions?
A child about to start school... Humping to that degree?? Absolutely not!! I would absolutely put a stop to that IMMEDIATELY. And I would be sure mom and dad are backing that up.
Reply
Josiegirl 04:54 PM 11-10-2014
Do his parents witness this at home also? They must if he's into it so much at daycare. All I can offer is redirect redirect redirect. I was also going to suggest sending him to the bathroom to do it but then if he's starting school next year, he won't be allowed to do that all the time. I think nipping it in the bud now is what needs to be done.
Reply
Shell 05:00 PM 11-10-2014
Oh my, now I have heard it all I've had kids do it at nap, also, but never during regular play time. Could it be a sensory thing and you re-direct that energy into swinging, touching textures items, or any of that other sensory seeking stuff that is recommended. It's been a while, but I remember a dcg in my preschool class that had an issue with touching herself and they re-directed it- she had tons of sensory and food sensitivity issues. Just a thought...
Reply
AuntTami 05:09 PM 11-10-2014
Originally Posted by Josiegirl:
Do his parents witness this at home also? They must if he's into it so much at daycare. All I can offer is redirect redirect redirect. I was also going to suggest sending him to the bathroom to do it but then if he's starting school next year, he won't be allowed to do that all the time. I think nipping it in the bud now is what needs to be done.
I agree with nipping it in the bud. My thought was that he would realize very quickly that it's not "fun" to be away from his friends to do it, so he would stop doing it? Maybe I'm thinking too much like an adult..
Reply
BumbleBee 05:14 PM 11-10-2014
When I've had this behavior happen I either send the child to the bathroom, telling them that is something we don't do around others, or to their cot in the nap room. This is for children under 5.

I have a dck on the spectrum who is 10 years old and, for lack of a better term, attempts to masturbate occasionally (usually stress related. New subject at school, schedule has been changed without warning, etc.) I simply tell that child that that is something they do in the privacy of their bedroom at home and to please find another activity. This child's parents do the same thing at home when the child begins masturbation attempts at home. (ie. Please go to your room to do that. It is inappropriate to do in the living room/dining room/kitchen/etc.)
Reply
KiddieCahoots 05:18 PM 11-10-2014
Is dcb wearing a diaper at the age of 4yrs?
If so.....just wondering if there is something developmental, or like pp, sensory with the combined?
Reply
Silly Songs 08:35 PM 11-10-2014
Maybe I'm a little behind the topic , but humping ? What is he humping ?
Reply
daycarediva 04:55 AM 11-11-2014
I don't care if it's normal. It's not socially acceptable. I would nix it all. "We do that at home." and redirect. OVER AND OVER.

I have a 4yo in diapers, and I STRONGLY believe there are sensory issues.
Reply
Hunni Bee 08:09 PM 11-11-2014
I have a five year old with delays who does that. Will stop playing for a hump session. None of the other kids pay attention, so I just tell him to stop and do something else.
Reply
Wednesday! 10:31 PM 11-11-2014
Originally Posted by Silly Songs:
Maybe I'm a little behind the topic , but humping ? What is he humping ?
I'm wondering this too. Is he laying down to do this? Leaning on furniture? Also, in my state, children who are not potty trained in kindy are sent to special needs classes. Something is up with this child.
Reply
Starburst 11:21 PM 11-11-2014
I know these are things we never want to accuse of lightly but playing devil's advocate here (no flames, just something to consider): The child is 4 years old, still in a diaper, and has always had humping episodes that are apparently becoming more prevalent. Is it possible that he could either be:

1) Special needs (possible signs of OCD, sensory processing, autism)- delayed potty training and repetitive twitches/ actions that are becoming more noticeable.

2) Sexually abused (especially if he's humping things) a very common sign of that type of abuse is continual stimulation and getting in the way of normal activity.

3) If he co-sleep or shares a room his parents; it could be possible that he's repeating what he's seen his parents doing when they think he's asleep (which could also explain the grunting noises).
Reply
Play Care 06:27 AM 11-12-2014
Originally Posted by Starburst:
I know these are things we never want to accuse of lightly but playing devil's advocate here (no flames, just something to consider): The child is 4 years old, still in a diaper, and has always had humping episodes that are apparently becoming more prevalent. Is it possible that he could either be:

1) Special needs (possible signs of OCD, sensory processing, autism)- delayed potty training and repetitive twitches/ actions that are becoming more noticeable.

2) Sexually abused (especially if he's humping things) a very common sign of that type of abuse is continual stimulation and getting in the way of normal activity.

3) If he co-sleep or shares a room his parents; it could be possible that he's repeating what he's seen his parents doing when they think he's asleep (which could also explain the grunting noises).


These were my initial thoughts as well. "Humping" or rubbing the genital area against an object or the floor CAN be "normal" (says the mom with a child who does it) It feels good and can be soothing, so why not?
But a child who is leaving playing to do it? Making noises? That seems a bit extreme.
This may just be a child who needs to be told firmly "we don't do that here" or it may be signs of a more serious issue. It is something I'd be documenting and talking with the parents about.
Reply
MotherNature 06:59 AM 11-12-2014
Sounds like a sensory seeker to me, especially w/ the diaper. My son has spd, and also has potty issues. He's not a humper though.
Reply
Tags:humper, inappropriate behavior
Reply Up