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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>The Unprepared Child - What Do You Do?
momofboys 07:35 AM 10-17-2013
I have a newish child (have had for @ 2 1/2 mon). Parent has issues with remembering child's backback which has shoes//socks (for some reason they carry him everywhere, he's 3???? so child never comes w/socks or shoes on). Also if they don't bring backpack he doesn't have his emergency asthma meds (never had to use but it's necessary!). Also upon drop off I was informed child was up til 11:30 (this parent drops off at 6:50 am) at a festival so he will likely be cranky. How would.u deal with this? she doesn't forget the bag much but in the past few weeks it averages out to @ 1x every 7-8 days. we planned a trip to the park so I had to put my own child's play shoes (which are 4 sizes too big) on this child. i have alredy told mom before that they are required but clearly she doesn't.take me seriously.
SilverSabre25 07:41 AM 10-17-2013
either have the parents leave supplies at your house to STAY at your house, or don't accept the child into care without the backpack. Personally, I'd prefer the "leave it at my house" option. Less hassle that way, and you don't have to turn them away and risk parental ire because of it.
Blackcat31 07:42 AM 10-17-2013
I'd refuse to care for him ANY time he doesn't arrive with his shoes and his med supplies.
Turn them away at the door. NO WAY would I assume the liability of caring for a child who requires something to live and the parents don't bring it.
I would also make the lack of shoes the parents issue. Call for immediate pick up right before you get ready to go to the park.
Call mom/dad and say "Hey, Jane we are getting ready to go to the park and I notice Julian doesn't have shoes today. Could you come pick him up so that the kids who came prepared don't have to miss going to the park today? Thanks see you in a few minutes."
She is NOT going to change her habits until it becomes HER problem.
Turn them away at the door. NO WAY would I assume the liability of caring for a child who requires something to live and the parents don't bring it.
I would also make the lack of shoes the parents issue. Call for immediate pick up right before you get ready to go to the park.
Call mom/dad and say "Hey, Jane we are getting ready to go to the park and I notice Julian doesn't have shoes today. Could you come pick him up so that the kids who came prepared don't have to miss going to the park today? Thanks see you in a few minutes."
She is NOT going to change her habits until it becomes HER problem.
CedarCreek 07:44 AM 10-17-2013
Originally Posted by SilverSabre25:
either have the parents leave supplies at your house to STAY at your house, or don't accept the child into care without the backpack. Personally, I'd prefer the "leave it at my house" option. Less hassle that way, and you don't have to turn them away and risk parental ire because of it.
Yes!either have the parents leave supplies at your house to STAY at your house, or don't accept the child into care without the backpack. Personally, I'd prefer the "leave it at my house" option. Less hassle that way, and you don't have to turn them away and risk parental ire because of it.
Get a spare inhaler from mom (with an rx label) and a spare set of shoes and socks and keep them at your house.
daycarediva 07:49 AM 10-17-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I'd refuse to care for him ANY time he doesn't arrive with his shoes and his med supplies.
Turn them away at the door. NO WAY would I assume the liability of caring for a child who requires something to live and the parents don't bring it.
I would also make the lack of shoes the parents issue. Call for immediate pick up right before you get ready to go to the park.
Call mom/dad and say "Hey, Jane we are getting ready to go to the park and I notice Julian doesn't have shoes today. Could you come pick him up so that the kids who came prepared don't have to miss going to the park today? Thanks see you in a few minutes."
She is NOT going to change her habits until it becomes HER problem.
I'd refuse to care for him ANY time he doesn't arrive with his shoes and his med supplies.
Turn them away at the door. NO WAY would I assume the liability of caring for a child who requires something to live and the parents don't bring it.
I would also make the lack of shoes the parents issue. Call for immediate pick up right before you get ready to go to the park.
Call mom/dad and say "Hey, Jane we are getting ready to go to the park and I notice Julian doesn't have shoes today. Could you come pick him up so that the kids who came prepared don't have to miss going to the park today? Thanks see you in a few minutes."
She is NOT going to change her habits until it becomes HER problem.
I have had parents bring me a second set of everything before to stop this issue.
Blackcat31 07:58 AM 10-17-2013
Originally Posted by daycarediva:
I have had parents bring me a second set of everything before to stop this issue.
I love the idea of having parents leave extra sets of needed supplies at daycare, but I usually find that since they can't remember the stuff they need immediately in the first place, they have an even harder time remembering to bring in the extra's... I have had parents bring me a second set of everything before to stop this issue.
Refusal at the door is a miraculous "cure-all" for this issue.
BrooklynM 08:21 AM 10-17-2013
I agree with those saying that the inhaler needs to stay at all times. You have to let the parents know that is a liability issue! It's also a life or death issue. I'm surprised they wouldn't be more diligent about it. Maybe their child had what "seemed" to be an asthma attack at one point but the doctor wasn't sure and gave them an inhaler just in case? It seems like if it was a big issue to them they would have an inhaler in the car, at your house, at their house, in her purse, etc.
As for the shoes, I had this same exact problem, so I just had the parents leave a pair here. Most of the time they have shoes on him when he comes, but he hates shoes and socks (as did my kids) so as soon as he gets here he usually wants them off, but now I have either the pair he wore or the extra pair just in case he comes without them here so we can go to the park.
With the same child I had an issue with long sleeves. His parents will put long sleeves on him and he hates them. He is 16 months old and as soon as he notices his sleeves its like he has to have his shirt removed. I've tried rolling them, it only makes him freak out more, so now I have a spare t-shirt here for him to wear when he has a long sleeve meltdown. Its actually pretty cute.
As for the shoes, I had this same exact problem, so I just had the parents leave a pair here. Most of the time they have shoes on him when he comes, but he hates shoes and socks (as did my kids) so as soon as he gets here he usually wants them off, but now I have either the pair he wore or the extra pair just in case he comes without them here so we can go to the park.
With the same child I had an issue with long sleeves. His parents will put long sleeves on him and he hates them. He is 16 months old and as soon as he notices his sleeves its like he has to have his shirt removed. I've tried rolling them, it only makes him freak out more, so now I have a spare t-shirt here for him to wear when he has a long sleeve meltdown. Its actually pretty cute.
wdmmom 08:32 AM 10-17-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I'd refuse to care for him ANY time he doesn't arrive with his shoes and his med supplies.
Turn them away at the door. NO WAY would I assume the liability of caring for a child who requires something to live and the parents don't bring it.
I would also make the lack of shoes the parents issue. Call for immediate pick up right before you get ready to go to the park.
Call mom/dad and say "Hey, Jane we are getting ready to go to the park and I notice Julian doesn't have shoes today. Could you come pick him up so that the kids who came prepared don't have to miss going to the park today? Thanks see you in a few minutes."
She is NOT going to change her habits until it becomes HER problem.
I'd refuse to care for him ANY time he doesn't arrive with his shoes and his med supplies.
Turn them away at the door. NO WAY would I assume the liability of caring for a child who requires something to live and the parents don't bring it.
I would also make the lack of shoes the parents issue. Call for immediate pick up right before you get ready to go to the park.
Call mom/dad and say "Hey, Jane we are getting ready to go to the park and I notice Julian doesn't have shoes today. Could you come pick him up so that the kids who came prepared don't have to miss going to the park today? Thanks see you in a few minutes."
She is NOT going to change her habits until it becomes HER problem.
I had a parent continuously bringing their 2 year old in crocs everyday. We go for a walk almost everyday it's possible to and these aren't walking shoes. I told the mom that if she didn't come in tennis shoes I would send my staff assistant to take the other kids and her child had to stay back at the house with me. She brought me a pair of shoes to keep here and it was never discussed again. I would tell dcm at drop off that you need his bag. No bag, no care. And the bag must include socks, tennis shoes and medication.
Childminder 08:35 AM 10-17-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I'd refuse to care for him ANY time he doesn't arrive with his shoes and his med supplies.
Turn them away at the door. NO WAY would I assume the liability of caring for a child who requires something to live and the parents don't bring it.
I would also make the lack of shoes the parents issue. Call for immediate pick up right before you get ready to go to the park.
Call mom/dad and say "Hey, Jane we are getting ready to go to the park and I notice Julian doesn't have shoes today. Could you come pick him up so that the kids who came prepared don't have to miss going to the park today? Thanks see you in a few minutes."
She is NOT going to change her habits until it becomes HER problem.
Yes, this.I'd refuse to care for him ANY time he doesn't arrive with his shoes and his med supplies.
Turn them away at the door. NO WAY would I assume the liability of caring for a child who requires something to live and the parents don't bring it.
I would also make the lack of shoes the parents issue. Call for immediate pick up right before you get ready to go to the park.
Call mom/dad and say "Hey, Jane we are getting ready to go to the park and I notice Julian doesn't have shoes today. Could you come pick him up so that the kids who came prepared don't have to miss going to the park today? Thanks see you in a few minutes."
She is NOT going to change her habits until it becomes HER problem.
littleblossoms 08:42 AM 10-17-2013
i had this problem before whre kids are not ready for daycare and i turned the child away from day one. As for the puffers have a spare at your house at all times
momofboys 09:07 AM 10-17-2013
Thanks for all your input! I don't think she wants to refill his script until they need a refill whcih I understand but when he goes to school the school will need one on-hand everyday. My own son need an epipen for emergencies & though I don't want to pay for extra refills we never use I gladly do it b/c obviously it could save his life!!! she did tell me this a.m she was going to buy other shoes for the child to stay here. Fine, but it didn't help me today. Does this note sound ok? I want to sound serious but not mean!
Dear DCP:
As previously discussed "Tom" needs to come each day prepared for the day. His asthma inhalers need to be here each day he attends. If he were to have an attack I have no medication to administer. He also needs to arrive with shoes & socks. Today we had planned to go to the park but because I had no shoes for Tom all three children were not able to attend which is not fair to them. In the future if you arrive without shoes or his inhalers you will be turned away at the door. Thank you for understanding.
Me
I really need assistance penning the bolded sentence. I want to get across that b/c he is not prepared other children are missing out. I don't like how this sounds. Any assistance would be helpful & appreciated! Tks
she did tell me this a.m she was going to buy other shoes for the child to stay here. Fine, but it didn't help me today. Does this note sound ok? I want to sound serious but not mean!Dear DCP:
As previously discussed "Tom" needs to come each day prepared for the day. His asthma inhalers need to be here each day he attends. If he were to have an attack I have no medication to administer. He also needs to arrive with shoes & socks. Today we had planned to go to the park but because I had no shoes for Tom all three children were not able to attend which is not fair to them. In the future if you arrive without shoes or his inhalers you will be turned away at the door. Thank you for understanding.
Me
I really need assistance penning the bolded sentence. I want to get across that b/c he is not prepared other children are missing out. I don't like how this sounds. Any assistance would be helpful & appreciated! Tks
jenn 09:16 AM 10-17-2013
I would turn away at the door for no shoes. If you don't want to do that, then have the parents bring a pair to leave at your house. If child arrives with no shoes, they leave for home with no shoes. That pair always remains at your home.
I would not assume the liability of no meds. I would insist on having an inhaler at your home that stays at your home.
I would let the parent know today that as of tomorrow at drop of you need these items, or you will not be able to provide care until they can provide them. Sometimes, you have to inconvenience the parent in order to get a result.
I would not assume the liability of no meds. I would insist on having an inhaler at your home that stays at your home.
I would let the parent know today that as of tomorrow at drop of you need these items, or you will not be able to provide care until they can provide them. Sometimes, you have to inconvenience the parent in order to get a result.
JoseyJo 09:35 AM 10-17-2013
Originally Posted by wdmmom:
I had a parent continuously bringing their 2 year old in crocs everyday. We go for a walk almost everyday it's possible to and these aren't walking shoes. I told the mom that if she didn't come in tennis shoes I would send my staff assistant to take the other kids and her child had to stay back at the house with me. She brought me a pair of shoes to keep here and it was never discussed again.
I would tell dcm at drop off that you need his bag. No bag, no care. And the bag must include socks, tennis shoes and medication.
Yep, we have one (an otherwise GREAT family) who sends their 3yo in flip flops every day, including in the winter! I had a parent continuously bringing their 2 year old in crocs everyday. We go for a walk almost everyday it's possible to and these aren't walking shoes. I told the mom that if she didn't come in tennis shoes I would send my staff assistant to take the other kids and her child had to stay back at the house with me. She brought me a pair of shoes to keep here and it was never discussed again. I would tell dcm at drop off that you need his bag. No bag, no care. And the bag must include socks, tennis shoes and medication.
I told her she had to send a pair of closed toed for us to keep here for outside time and field trips. She didn't want to, and thought it was fine for him to wear flip flops all year, but I insisted she bring them anyway. If she wouldn't have brought them I would have just went out and bought a cheapy pair and a pair of socks to keep here for him. We also have a boy whose mom thinks a jacket is appropriate clothing for 30F weather (with a hat and winter gloves). I stopped arguing with her about it and put him in a pink girls coat when the weather is too cold for the jacket. I always make sure that we take pictures at outside time on those days!
Blackcat31 09:36 AM 10-17-2013
Originally Posted by momofboys:
Thanks for all your input! I don't think she wants to refill his script until they need a refill whcih I understand but when he goes to school the school will need one on-hand everyday. My own son need an epipen for emergencies & though I don't want to pay for extra refills we never use I gladly do it b/c obviously it could save his life!!! she did tell me this a.m she was going to buy other shoes for the child to stay here. Fine, but it didn't help me today. Does this note sound ok? I want to sound serious but not mean!
Dear DCP:
As previously discussed "Tom" needs to come each day prepared for the day. His asthma inhalers need to be here each day he attends. If he were to have an attack I have no medication to administer. He also needs to arrive with shoes & socks. Today we had planned to go to the park but because I had no shoes for Tom all three children were not able to attend which is not fair to them. In the future if you arrive without shoes or his inhalers you will be turned away at the door. Thank you for understanding.
Me
I really need assistance penning the bolded sentence. I want to get across that b/c he is not prepared other children are missing out. I don't like how this sounds. Any assistance would be helpful & appreciated! Tks
Dear DCP:Thanks for all your input! I don't think she wants to refill his script until they need a refill whcih I understand but when he goes to school the school will need one on-hand everyday. My own son need an epipen for emergencies & though I don't want to pay for extra refills we never use I gladly do it b/c obviously it could save his life!!!
she did tell me this a.m she was going to buy other shoes for the child to stay here. Fine, but it didn't help me today. Does this note sound ok? I want to sound serious but not mean!Dear DCP:
As previously discussed "Tom" needs to come each day prepared for the day. His asthma inhalers need to be here each day he attends. If he were to have an attack I have no medication to administer. He also needs to arrive with shoes & socks. Today we had planned to go to the park but because I had no shoes for Tom all three children were not able to attend which is not fair to them. In the future if you arrive without shoes or his inhalers you will be turned away at the door. Thank you for understanding.
Me
I really need assistance penning the bolded sentence. I want to get across that b/c he is not prepared other children are missing out. I don't like how this sounds. Any assistance would be helpful & appreciated! Tks
As previously discussed "Tom" needs to come each day prepared for the day. His asthma inhalers need to be here each day he attends. If he were to have an attack I have no medication to administer.
He also needs to arrive with shoes & socks. During the day, many activities are planned that require shoes. It would be unfair to the children who do arrived prepared to not be able to participate due to one child not having shoes. In the future if you arrive without shoes or his inhalers you will be turned away at the door. Thank you for understanding.
Me
Does that sound better?
momofboys 09:38 AM 10-17-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Dear DCP:
As previously discussed "Tom" needs to come each day prepared for the day. His asthma inhalers need to be here each day he attends. If he were to have an attack I have no medication to administer.
He also needs to arrive with shoes & socks. During the day, many activities are planned that require shoes. It would be unfair to the children who do arrived prepared to not be able to participate due to one child not having shoes. In the future if you arrive without shoes or his inhalers you will be turned away at the door. Thank you for understanding.
Me
Does that sound better?
Yes! Thank you, BC! You Rock!Dear DCP:
As previously discussed "Tom" needs to come each day prepared for the day. His asthma inhalers need to be here each day he attends. If he were to have an attack I have no medication to administer.
He also needs to arrive with shoes & socks. During the day, many activities are planned that require shoes. It would be unfair to the children who do arrived prepared to not be able to participate due to one child not having shoes. In the future if you arrive without shoes or his inhalers you will be turned away at the door. Thank you for understanding.
Me
Does that sound better?
daycarediva 10:28 AM 10-17-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I love the idea of having parents leave extra sets of needed supplies at daycare, but I usually find that since they can't remember the stuff they need immediately in the first place, they have an even harder time remembering to bring in the extra's...
Refusal at the door is a miraculous "cure-all" for this issue.
I do BOTH. I had a huge issue with this in spring. I turned away at the door and then did it again the very next day! I told Mom that from now on, *I* had to have a set of everything or he would be turned away again. The following week, I got brand new sneakers, socks, a jacket and extra set of clothing. I now REQUIRE this family to keep a set of everything here. They just supplied me with an extra coat, hat, gloves and winter boots.I love the idea of having parents leave extra sets of needed supplies at daycare, but I usually find that since they can't remember the stuff they need immediately in the first place, they have an even harder time remembering to bring in the extra's...
Refusal at the door is a miraculous "cure-all" for this issue.
It was 50* as the HIGH last week and dcb came in shorts, tshirt and sandals. I changed him, and he went HOME in the same outfit he came in.
Shell 11:06 AM 10-17-2013
Originally Posted by JoseyJo:
We also have a boy whose mom thinks a jacket is appropriate clothing for 30F weather (with a hat and winter gloves). I stopped arguing with her about it and put him in a pink girls coat when the weather is too cold for the jacket. I always make sure that we take pictures at outside time on those days!
We also have a boy whose mom thinks a jacket is appropriate clothing for 30F weather (with a hat and winter gloves). I stopped arguing with her about it and put him in a pink girls coat when the weather is too cold for the jacket. I always make sure that we take pictures at outside time on those days!
Hilarious!
se7en 04:50 PM 10-17-2013
When you turn them away at the door, do they go home and get the shoes, then return with child ? They must be late for work a lot. Lol. Why is it so hard to remember things your child needs? In the center where I work, a two year old came with the same ( or exactly similar) tights\ stretch pants 2 days in row. We require extra clothes for everyone so I changed her. That age the clothes get dirty quickly. Some parents just seem unaffected by being parents and having responsibilities.
momofboys 06:22 PM 10-17-2013
Originally Posted by se7en:
When you turn them away at the door, do they go home and get the shoes, then return with child ? They must be late for work a lot. Lol. Why is it so hard to remember things your child needs? In the center where I work, a two year old came with the same ( or exactly similar) tights\ stretch pants 2 days in row. We require extra clothes for everyone so I changed her. That age the clothes get dirty quickly. Some parents just seem unaffected by being parents and having responsibilities.
I am not sure how this would play out. This DCP lives 25 min away from me (works in my town). It would be terribly inconvenient for them to run home so hopefully they will be more prepared in the future.When you turn them away at the door, do they go home and get the shoes, then return with child ? They must be late for work a lot. Lol. Why is it so hard to remember things your child needs? In the center where I work, a two year old came with the same ( or exactly similar) tights\ stretch pants 2 days in row. We require extra clothes for everyone so I changed her. That age the clothes get dirty quickly. Some parents just seem unaffected by being parents and having responsibilities.
Blackcat31 06:15 AM 10-18-2013
Originally Posted by momofboys:
I am not sure how this would play out. This DCP lives 25 min away from me (works in my town). It would be terribly inconvenient for them to run home so hopefully they will be more prepared in the future.
That is the point. I am not sure how this would play out. This DCP lives 25 min away from me (works in my town). It would be terribly inconvenient for them to run home so hopefully they will be more prepared in the future.
THEY should be inconvenienced by having to run home (or to the nearest Target and buy new shoes) NOT you.
You were inconvenienced because you couldn't take the kids to the park.
The other kids were inconvenienced because they didn't get to go to the park.
Everyone other than who should have been inconvenienced....kwim?
Usually being turned away at the door never repeats itself.
