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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>OH MY LORD!!! Full On Meltdown Over SHOES & Naptime!
Mandy_Jane 01:25 PM 11-02-2011
I don't know what on earth is wrong with me! I must be jinxed to get the most difficult families and situations in history! So I have a 3 year old little boy who started today. He is almost 4. He's not potty trained at all, but that is the least of my worries right now. He seems to have some MAJOR emotional issues going on as well as developmental delays. He doesn't speak clearly at all. Like I can literally only understand about 10 words he says. To me he acts like a child who has been abused in some way or other. He had the biggest freak out ever at drop time. I almost had to hold him down and he was fighting me trying to get to the door. I knew if he succeeded he would be running outside. Thankfully that only lasted about 5 minutes once he realized his mom was not outside anymore.

He won't drink from the sippy cups I have here. As a last resort, I gave him the juice box his mom stuck in his backpack (which I WAS NOT going to give him but I didn't want him dehydrated). She was also kind enough to pack skittles, m&ms and cookies! She does this because she says he will not eat for people he does not know. So she provides snacks that he can have access to if he wants them. Well, his backpack came off and was put away about 15 minutes after he got here. I didn't want him "helping himself" to the candy. It wouldn't be fair to the other kids here anyway. By the way, he did eat a waffle for breakfast and chicken nuggets for lunch, so I don't know why his mom said he wouldn't eat for me.

Since I have a newborn starting on Monday, I bought a new gate that is configurable to large areas to block off a section of my living room for the baby. I blocked off about 1/4 of the living room with it and he was on the larger side with my two girls. He proceeded to stand at the gate saying "It's stuck! It's stuck! Help me! Help me!" I'm not sure what it is about this gate, but it sends him into a frenzy. To test a theory I had, I moved the gate to block off a very small area by my front door, and left at least 3/4 of the living room open for him. But low and behold, he wanted in to the SMALLER section of the gated off area. And once he got in there, he wanted RIGHT BACK into the larger area. He basically just stands by the gate whining and crying and wanting through it. Maybe he just doesn't want it there at all? I just can not win with this kid.

So when naptime rolled around I brought him in to the nap room and showed him the Elmo toddler bed he could sleep in. I turned on the lullabies and told him I would sit with him and wouldn't leave him. I took his shoes off and told him to lay down. Well, he went BERSERK when his shoes came off. I'm not sure what he was saying, but it was something about his shoes and he just kept reaching for them and crying hysterically. So I took the shoes out of the room which made him freak out even more! I couldn't get him to lay down at all so I brought the shoes back and let him put them on, but told him he HAD to lay down now. It didn't work. So, I gave up on naptime. He is only 2 days a week, so I don't know if I should just deal with him not napping, or what. It's just so stressful dealing with a kid who has communication problems, emotional issues and refuses to nap for me. What should I do? I seriously believe this kid needs professional help of some sort for whatever his issues are.
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Heidi 01:35 PM 11-02-2011
Wow! and I thought I was having a crappy day. Is it a full friggin moon?

I would not keep him. Maybe if he were full time, I would consider it, but even it would depend so much on the rest of the group and how tough they are. I would not keep him with the group I have now.

If you decide to terminate, talk to mom first. If he hasn't been referred to childfind or another similar program, you might as well be honest and tell her the truth. If she hasn't figured out by now something is going on, her head is firmly in the sand, and she needs to hear it!
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nannyde 01:55 PM 11-02-2011
Ask Mom for a full list of previous providers with numbers and a signed consent to speak with them. You need a full provider history on him. I wouldn't provide care until you had spoken to his previous caregivers.

It sounds like he really needs his own adult. I wouldn't consider having him two days a week. No matter how fantastic you are... he will never ever adjust. I would insist he come five full days a week and that you adjust payment to reflect having an adult just for him.
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LittleCrawfishCC 03:52 PM 11-02-2011
I had a bad day too, must be in the water! Hope it gets better!
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Tags:3 year old, bad day
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