Default Style Register
Daycare.com Forum
Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Just Wow
daycare 09:24 AM 11-19-2013
I started a new child last week. full time age 4.5.

Child is still on a paci
still in diapers
talks, but very hard to understand
lots of other things going on
NO self help skills at all

He's a very sweet little boy. He's very smart and is showing a lot of progress

Yesterday I talked with mom and gave her a list of things that we will be working on.


A) feeding self
B) Sitting down during meal time
C) NO more paci
D) using the toilet
E) Self help skills


DCM tells me well I just don't think hes ready for all of this yet. I need to rethink if I want to continue care with you or not!!




Maybe DCK will be the first child to go to college in diapers..............
Reply
daycarediva 09:31 AM 11-19-2013
You attract some weird ones!!! I would want a developmental evaluation! My 4.5 dck is doing EVERYTHING for herself, is starting to read and is all but ready for K. We just have to work on the nap before she starts K in fall (still needs a good 2 hours).
Reply
NeedaVaca 09:31 AM 11-19-2013
Wow! This mom will get a wake up call when he starts K...Does she not realize how far behind his peers he is?
Reply
Annalee 09:38 AM 11-19-2013
Chances are the dcm is just as high-maintenanced as the dck is.....sad!
Reply
dave4him 09:41 AM 11-19-2013
My daughter turned 3 in Aug and wants nothing to do with potty training. I know 4.5 is not too far away so I hope she is in panties by then. You sound kind of judgmental. The paci I agree with, but seriously the kid might have other issues going on.
Reply
Unregistered 09:52 AM 11-19-2013
I would assume if issues were going on, mom should have discussed with OP.

OP, 4.5 is VERY late for PT if no diagnosed issues have been uncovered. I wouldn't work with a mom that HID any issues, either.

The fact she has her head in the clouds, that's insane. A binky at 4 1/2 yo is unacceptable and laziness on her part. She wants to rethink care with you because you want to help her child? She's nuts. RUN>
Reply
Unregistered 09:54 AM 11-19-2013
Originally Posted by dave4him:
My daughter turned 3 in Aug and wants nothing to do with potty training. I know 4.5 is not too far away so I hope she is in panties by then. You sound kind of judgmental. The paci I agree with, but seriously the kid might have other issues going on.
She didn't say he should be potty trained, she said she wanted to work on it. I would kill myself if I had a 4.5 year old in diapers- and they had no special needs.
Reply
Blackcat31 09:55 AM 11-19-2013
Wow! That IS crazy!

I also thought you didn't even enroll kids on this level... (developmentally)

I thought you only provided services to kids who were potty trained and verbal.

Did any of this information get shared with you during the interview?
Reply
NeedaVaca 09:58 AM 11-19-2013
Originally Posted by dave4him:
My daughter turned 3 in Aug and wants nothing to do with potty training. I know 4.5 is not too far away so I hope she is in panties by then. You sound kind of judgmental. The paci I agree with, but seriously the kid might have other issues going on.
Doesn't seem judgmental to me , sounds like she is trying to help get him caught up to where he should be developmentally. This child is way behind.
Reply
DaycareMom 10:02 AM 11-19-2013
Originally Posted by daycare:
I started a new child last week. full time age 4.5.

Child is still on a paci
still in diapers
talks, but very hard to understand
lots of other things going on
NO self help skills at all

He's a very sweet little boy. He's very smart and is showing a lot of progress

Yesterday I talked with mom and gave her a list of things that we will be working on.


A) feeding self
B) Sitting down during meal time
C) NO more paci
D) using the toilet
E) Self help skills


DCM tells me well I just don't think hes ready for all of this yet. I need to rethink if I want to continue care with you or not!!




Maybe DCK will be the first child to go to college in diapers..............

Wow! That is crazy. Was any of this discussed at interview? I would have either told her no way or discussed working on the self help skills at interview.
Reply
melilley 10:12 AM 11-19-2013
I'm guessing she didn't tell you any of this before enrolling? Is it a cultural thing? Is this child delayed or just not doing things because the parents have that attitude that he's not ready?

If it's not developmental, she's probably going to have a hard time finding anywhere for him to go. You said he's making progress, so hopefully he will stay so you can help him!

It's so interesting to hear your stories, and I agree, you do get some strange families!
Reply
Leigh 10:19 AM 11-19-2013
Originally Posted by daycare:
I started a new child last week. full time age 4.5.

Child is still on a paci
still in diapers
talks, but very hard to understand
lots of other things going on
NO self help skills at all

He's a very sweet little boy. He's very smart and is showing a lot of progress

Yesterday I talked with mom and gave her a list of things that we will be working on.


A) feeding self
B) Sitting down during meal time
C) NO more paci
D) using the toilet
E) Self help skills


DCM tells me well I just don't think hes ready for all of this yet. I need to rethink if I want to continue care with you or not!!




Maybe DCK will be the first child to go to college in diapers..............

I am generally very tolerant of kids who aren't "caught up" with others their age. I have a high percentage of foster kids with neglect in their backgrounds, and understand that they may need some time to get caught up developmentally.

I would not take a 4.5 year old who is unable to feed himself. I do not have time to feed a child who is capable of self-feeding.

A pacifier at age 4.5 really is just bad parenting, IMO. You can't understand him because he learned to talk with a danged pacifier in his mouth-it's normal to him to not move his tongue and mouth the "right" way to talk.

Sitting down during meals would be easy-if he didn't sit, he would be done with his meal. At 18 months, I would tolerate it, at 4.5, no way.

Kids toilet train when they are ready to. I can deal with a 3.5 yo who isn't quite there, but at 4.5, I think that's a little extreme.

I would just work on the things that you told her you would, and if she wants to pull because of it, I would let her walk away. It's a fine line between letting the parent do their job the way they wish to and what we can demand as providers (it makes me shudder to think of a 4.5 yo with a paci!). The pacifier, I wouldn't push with Mom too much. If it were me, I'd purchase the same paci he uses, cut the end off, and allow him only that one at my home.

The toileting really is the job of the parent, too-I'd support their efforts, and probably put in plenty effort of my own, but I'd push very hard for that-who wants to change a 4.5 yo's poopy diaper?!

Sitting down at meals is simply a "house rule", they follow it or they have their consequence. I would not negotiate that with a parent.

I think that you need to consider what you will and won't put up with. I put up with things that annoy me that I consider parental choice. I won't put up with my house rules being broken, and I won't bend them for a lazy parent.
Reply
dave4him 10:43 AM 11-19-2013
sorry im just sensitive to people talking about developmental delays. Hope you can help the mom see the reality.
Reply
Scout 11:30 AM 11-19-2013
Originally Posted by daycare:
I started a new child last week. full time age 4.5.

Child is still on a paci
still in diapers
talks, but very hard to understand
lots of other things going on
NO self help skills at all

He's a very sweet little boy. He's very smart and is showing a lot of progress

Yesterday I talked with mom and gave her a list of things that we will be working on.


A) feeding self
B) Sitting down during meal time
C) NO more paci
D) using the toilet
E) Self help skills


DCM tells me well I just don't think hes ready for all of this yet. I need to rethink if I want to continue care with you or not!!




Maybe DCK will be the first child to go to college in diapers..............
Holy lord! This poor child. This.makes.me.sad.
Reply
Unregistered 11:38 AM 11-19-2013
If this was not disabled....
I think I would have to discuss with what I would charge for a 4.5 year infant....
Reply
MrsSteinel'sHouse 12:38 PM 11-19-2013
Originally Posted by dave4him:
sorry im just sensitive to people talking about developmental delays. Hope you can help the mom see the reality.
I guess the question is why is he delayed. More and more it is lazy parenting (paci at 4 1/2) and parents not wanting to grow their children up. I am seeing more and more parents that just don't want to grow up their "babies". They are not enabling them to be the big kids they are! It really is sad.
Reply
jenn 12:46 PM 11-19-2013
I would work very hard on the feeding himself while sitting down, not using a paci, and establishing some self help skills. If those are things he has just not been expected to do, he may change them quickly and like the new independence. Potty training could be trickier. I know most kids are trained well before then, but some are simply not ready or simply have not been worked with. Hopefully he will catch on quickly. Not sure I would want to change diapers on someone that age, but I have had calls for non potty trained 4 & 5 year olds, as the preschools around here will not take them.
Reply
sharlan 12:51 PM 11-19-2013
Sounds like the family I had where the grandma wanted to keep the dcb a baby.

I would let her just move on.
Reply
blandino 01:07 PM 11-19-2013
Honestly, my newest DCK (that I have posted a lt about) is 3.5 and I was shocked about all of those things. At 4.5, I would have been astonished.

DCM has to know that those are all age appropriate milestones, so what is there to think about ?!?
Reply
daycare 01:13 PM 11-19-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Wow! That IS crazy!

I also thought you didn't even enroll kids on this level... (developmentally)

I thought you only provided services to kids who were potty trained and verbal.

Did any of this information get shared with you during the interview?
So here is how things went down in the interview. DCM told me that the child has been with an overwhelming Nanny. NO schedule, no routine, no discipline, etc. Nanny is not reliable and they want a school environment that will help him. I did ask DCM during the interview if the child was under a doctors care for any reason, including but not limited to delays, illness or other....She answered no to all of the questions.

I knew during the interview that he was not PT, but mom agreed that we would work on this as soon as he became comfortable here.

I was not told about the paci, not self feeding and that the child lacked self hep skills that bad.

It is partly my fault, because I assumed at this age a child could self feed, would not be on a paci and I did not even stop to think about those things.

I do enroll children that are not PT. My program has two age groups, the 18 month to 2years and then the 3-5 preschool.

I have had several kids at age 4 that are not PT, but have at least been working on it. This child is still in diapers, has not even started the process.


I think the deal is that they are trying to keep him a baby or no one is just taking the time to teach him what to do......

either way, it's surprising to me that now DCM does not want to work towards these things after just sitting and agreeing that we need to prepare him for formal schooling.....
Reply
Blackcat31 01:27 PM 11-19-2013
Originally Posted by daycare:
So here is how things went down in the interview. DCM told me that the child has been with an overwhelming Nanny. NO schedule, no routine, no discipline, etc. Nanny is not reliable and they want a school environment that will help him. I did ask DCM during the interview if the child was under a doctors care for any reason, including but not limited to delays, illness or other....She answered no to all of the questions.

I knew during the interview that he was not PT, but mom agreed that we would work on this as soon as he became comfortable here.

I was not told about the paci, not self feeding and that the child lacked self hep skills that bad.

It is partly my fault, because I assumed at this age a child could self feed, would not be on a paci and I did not even stop to think about those things.

I do enroll children that are not PT. My program has two age groups, the 18 month to 2years and then the 3-5 preschool.

I have had several kids at age 4 that are not PT, but have at least been working on it. This child is still in diapers, has not even started the process.


I think the deal is that they are trying to keep him a baby or no one is just taking the time to teach him what to do......

either way, it's surprising to me that now DCM does not want to work towards these things after just sitting and agreeing that we need to prepare him for formal schooling.....
Sounds to me like she is wanting YOU to do the hard work.

Honestly, I would have to agree with mom here that the child is probably not ready for your type of environment.

Parental support and partnership is the foundation to a successful provider-child relationship and it doesn't sound like you will be getting much of that.

If possible, I would ask mom to consider enrolling him later on when he may be more ready to participate.

Enrolling him now may only further delay his milestones (if he feels pushed) and enrolling him now at this point seems like you and your staff will be having to devote a good deal of time caring for him.

Sorry.... I did remember after I posted that you have two age groups.
Reply
blessed mom 01:33 PM 11-19-2013
Originally Posted by MrsSteinel'sHouse:
I guess the question is why is he delayed. More and more it is lazy parenting (paci at 4 1/2) and parents not wanting to grow their children up. I am seeing more and more parents that just don't want to grow up their "babies". They are not enabling them to be the big kids they are! It really is sad.
I'm seeing this a lot too! We all know they develop on their own schedules but so many would be more independent if the parents allowed it. It's one thing if they are developmentally behind or slow and a totally different situation then when they are ready but the parents don't enable them to grow. We should have kids to teach them to fly...not to keep them in the baby stage so we feel some kind of fulfillment taking care of them way past the age we should have been...way past the stage they could take care of themselves. I have seen a four year old being spoon fed, still with a paci, and unable to talk because for the first four years of their life they had a paci in their mouth. Then when the child did talk...it was "BA BA" for something to drink! It's not helping the child at all.

It's hard work...we all get that! It's unfair to not do the hard work needed to teach them basic skills in life.
Reply
daycare 02:15 PM 11-19-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Sounds to me like she is wanting YOU to do the hard work.

Honestly, I would have to agree with mom here that the child is probably not ready for your type of environment.

Parental support and partnership is the foundation to a successful provider-child relationship and it doesn't sound like you will be getting much of that.

If possible, I would ask mom to consider enrolling him later on when he may be more ready to participate.

Enrolling him now may only further delay his milestones (if he feels pushed) and enrolling him now at this point seems like you and your staff will be having to devote a good deal of time caring for him.

Sorry.... I did remember after I posted that you have two age groups.
Exactly what I told mom..

I told her I know it may sound overwhelming right now, please think about it and get back to me. I told her that I would need her to work with me or this just would not work.

So lets see what she has to say......
Reply
sally 03:52 PM 11-19-2013
My 3 yr old dcb can't undress and dress himself. I work with him to do it and by the end of the week he's doing great but by next week he can't do it again. I've come to realize his parents do not help him to learn anything so that he can help himself. We also will teach him his colors and shapes and then after so many days at home he doesn't know any of them. His parents don't work with him or try to help him learn things.
Reply
TwinKristi 04:05 PM 11-19-2013
This is a major frustration with DCKs in general I think. I can tell a huge difference in behavior with the kids I have on Mondays and one on Thurs since he doesn't come on Weds. Especially if he has a different sitter like his aunt. He doesn't nap like usual and is very crabby, crying, etc. he asks for juice and things he knows we don't eat here. LOL
I had another boy who was almost 3 and still in diapers and when he was going to preschool in the fall he HAD TO BE PT'd to go so it was the mad rush to get him done. He was actually dry at my house and I would reward him when he went potty but mom would bring him in a diaper!! I always took him out of the diaper and had him go, sent him home in undies and sure enough, he comes back in a diaper? Even at almost 4 now, after being PT'd a year, he doesn't wipe himself, still needs reminders, etc. He doesn't know how to put on socks/shoes, etc
Reply
crazydaycarelady 05:03 PM 11-19-2013
I don't think you are being judgmental at all. If the child is normal and healthy then they are way way behind. No way no how would I be changing a 4.5 year old.

You have to wonder has the dcm seen another 4.5yo? If she did you think she would be all over getting her kid up to speed.
Reply
daycare 05:05 PM 11-19-2013
Originally Posted by crazydaycarelady:
I don't think you are being judgmental at all. If the child is normal and healthy then they are way way behind. No way no how would I be changing a 4.5 year old.

You have to wonder has the dcm seen another 4.5yo? If she did you think she would be all over getting her kid up to speed.
thank you..... I am not one to judge. I also never expect children to "KNOW" this or that because they are 3 or 4 or 5.

I am not so much jaw dropped over what he can't do I am jaw dropped that his mother does not want to work with me to help this child who is VERY behind where he should be developmentally in every way.

It makes me angry and sad at the same time. Poor kid.

DCM is picking up here in a few and I wonder if she has made a decision...
Reply
JoseyJo 05:49 PM 11-19-2013
Keep us updated!
Reply
daycare 06:07 PM 11-19-2013
SO I talked to the DCM for a few at pick up. I didn't bring anything up and just wanted to see if she would.

Well sure enough, she tells me that she is really overwhelmed at my TALL request that I have, after all he's only 4.5, what do I expect.

I stand there and think hmmmm ok, I might understand a little if it was your first child or something medically was going on, but you said there was not. Ok DCM go on... I continue to stand quietly and listening.

She said I just don't think that you are going to get far pushing him with all of those things right now. You are asking too much.

I stop her and said well, we really don't have a lot of time to work on these things and to be honest with you, we have a lot to work on. I would never push a child to do something that they are clearly not ready to do.

I know that YOU might me having a hard time with it, but DCK is READY and willing. I need you to also be ready and willing to help your son.

UGH...insert foot into mouth here.................

DCM goes off on me saying what makes you think that I am not willing to help my child? I am doing everything I can, including enrolling him here. Blah blah blah.

I just stand there and when she is done going on her rant. I looked her in the face and said, I am really sorry you feel that way, I can see that you and I are not a good fit for each other. I will have your refund for the rest of the week ready for you tomorrow, which will also be DCK last day.

DCM stood silent, saying NOTHING....... then says, well I hired you, I am the one who makes that decision.

I just tell her, I really don't think we have anything else to discuss right now, if you would like to call me later after 6pm to talk to me calmly I will be more than happy to talk with you then. I walked away.

She stood at the door for another 5 min, just saying my name ms. N, can I talk to you......

I just stayed in the backroom and played with the kids that were still here.............

DONE!!!
Reply
JoseyJo 06:13 PM 11-19-2013
Originally Posted by daycare:

DCM stood silent, saying NOTHING....... then says, well I hired you, I am the one who makes that decision.


DONE!!!

Reply
Bookworm 07:31 PM 11-19-2013
Originally Posted by daycare:
SO I talked to the DCM for a few at pick up. I didn't bring anything up and just wanted to see if she would.

Well sure enough, she tells me that she is really overwhelmed at my TALL request that I have, after all he's only 4.5, what do I expect.

I stand there and think hmmmm ok, I might understand a little if it was your first child or something medically was going on, but you said there was not. Ok DCM go on... I continue to stand quietly and listening.

She said I just don't think that you are going to get far pushing him with all of those things right now. You are asking too much.

I stop her and said well, we really don't have a lot of time to work on these things and to be honest with you, we have a lot to work on. I would never push a child to do something that they are clearly not ready to do.

I know that YOU might me having a hard time with it, but DCK is READY and willing. I need you to also be ready and willing to help your son.

UGH...insert foot into mouth here.................

DCM goes off on me saying what makes you think that I am not willing to help my child? I am doing everything I can, including enrolling him here. Blah blah blah.

I just stand there and when she is done going on her rant. I looked her in the face and said, I am really sorry you feel that way, I can see that you and I are not a good fit for each other. I will have your refund for the rest of the week ready for you tomorrow, which will also be DCK last day.

DCM stood silent, saying NOTHING....... then says, well I hired you, I am the one who makes that decision.

I just tell her, I really don't think we have anything else to discuss right now, if you would like to call me later after 6pm to talk to me calmly I will be more than happy to talk with you then. I walked away.

She stood at the door for another 5 min, just saying my name ms. N, can I talk to you......

I just stayed in the backroom and played with the kids that were still here.............

DONE!!!
All I can say is WOW.
Reply
daycare 08:02 PM 11-19-2013
My husband say to me wow your super cute when your mad.

Then said it was nice to see me stand behind my policies and enforce them.

I feel good about my decision. I was upset most of the time.
Reply
itlw8 08:02 PM 11-19-2013
This really worries me. I think it is neglect. If there is a developmental delay he would qualify for help from the school district starting at age 3 But it sounds like it was and still is being caused by the parents. who ever said they had seen it in foster kids who had been neglected hit the nail on the head.

I think you really need to call the hotline and ask their opinion. These are basic skills that should have been mastered or worked on. My guess they have not had the child to the dr either in a few years. Call and let the state figure it out.
Reply
Evansmom 08:25 PM 11-19-2013
Originally Posted by daycare:

DCM stood silent, saying NOTHING....... then says, well I hired you, I am the one who makes that decision.
!
What the what?!!!!
She is clearly used to "hiring" a nanny. Not working with a teacher like you and operating in a group environment. The DCM needs as much training as the DCB does.
Reply
Josiegirl 03:26 AM 11-20-2013
Did you say this woman has other children? Is there a dad involved? If so, wonder what his thoughts are?
This whole situation is unbelievable and sad. Seems like she's in denial or a mom in high need of parental skills training.
Reply
countrymom 06:12 AM 11-20-2013
omg wow, just wow. If this doesn't scream lazy parenting then I have no idea what does.
Reply
Unregistered 06:16 AM 11-20-2013
Originally Posted by daycare:
SO I talked to the DCM for a few at pick up. I didn't bring anything up and just wanted to see if she would.

Well sure enough, she tells me that she is really overwhelmed at my TALL request that I have, after all he's only 4.5, what do I expect.

I stand there and think hmmmm ok, I might understand a little if it was your first child or something medically was going on, but you said there was not. Ok DCM go on... I continue to stand quietly and listening.

She said I just don't think that you are going to get far pushing him with all of those things right now. You are asking too much.

I stop her and said well, we really don't have a lot of time to work on these things and to be honest with you, we have a lot to work on. I would never push a child to do something that they are clearly not ready to do.

I know that YOU might me having a hard time with it, but DCK is READY and willing. I need you to also be ready and willing to help your son.

UGH...insert foot into mouth here.................

DCM goes off on me saying what makes you think that I am not willing to help my child? I am doing everything I can, including enrolling him here. Blah blah blah.

I just stand there and when she is done going on her rant. I looked her in the face and said, I am really sorry you feel that way, I can see that you and I are not a good fit for each other. I will have your refund for the rest of the week ready for you tomorrow, which will also be DCK last day.

DCM stood silent, saying NOTHING....... then says, well I hired you, I am the one who makes that decision.

I just tell her, I really don't think we have anything else to discuss right now, if you would like to call me later after 6pm to talk to me calmly I will be more than happy to talk with you then. I walked away.

She stood at the door for another 5 min, just saying my name ms. N, can I talk to you......

I just stayed in the backroom and played with the kids that were still here.............

DONE!!!
Her attitude explains why she has a 4.5 year old infant....poor child.

Good Job showing her the door!!! This job is hard enough without clueless, rude parents. I hope you fill the slot with an appreciative, polite and cooperative family!
Reply
SSWonders 06:19 AM 11-20-2013
Did she bring dcb for his last day?
Reply
CedarCreek 06:28 AM 11-20-2013
So sorry you had to deal with all of that!

I can see where mom is coming from if dcb is not ready but if he clearly is then she is doing him a disservice by continuing to baby him. Poor child.

I can't believe she thinks she makes the decisions over you for termination! THAT is completely silly!

Good riddance!
Reply
melilley 06:33 AM 11-20-2013
Originally Posted by daycare:
My husband say to me wow your super cute when your mad.

Then said it was nice to see me stand behind my policies and enforce them.

I feel good about my decision. I was upset most of the time.
Had to smile at your dh's response, how cute!

I'm glad you stood your ground! The nerve of her to tell you that she hired you and it's her decision of if you dis-enroll or not. Pffft.... Good bye!
Reply
MotherNature 06:43 AM 11-20-2013
Originally Posted by NeedaVaca:
Doesn't seem judgmental to me , sounds like she is trying to help get him caught up to where he should be developmentally. This child is way behind.
I agree. This child is behind.
Reply
Tay 01:25 PM 11-20-2013
This DCK could have developmental delays that the parent might be intentionally ignoring or doesn't seem to have a clue!
Reply
daycare 02:20 PM 11-20-2013
BUSY day here.....

Well DCK came today. DCM brought kid in and didn't mutter a word to me. She then hands me a note card and said NOTHING.

I didn't say anything back, was not really sure I had anything nice to say so I kept quiet.

I did not open the note card until about an hour ago. Basically, it was an apology letter saying how bad she felt, she loves my program and really wants DCB to stay.

Well, I don't care if you made GOLD shoot out your nose, NO, it's too late. I am going to keep my foot down and continue on with the term.

I am about to write the check here in a few minutes along with a term letter. There is no amount of saying sorry that will make up for the words that came out of your mouth yesterday. PLUS, I know that this will not be the last time that we bump heads like this. I don't play games like that.

The best part about all of this, is that for once I am not scared to speak my mind, I am not saying sorry to her, I am not being a WIMP....lol

Back bone in full force. You ladies have been in the back of my mind pushing me to keep it in tact and do the right thing here.
Reply
countrymom 02:25 PM 11-20-2013
good for you. Maybe next time mom will think before she speaks.
Reply
daycare 03:00 PM 11-20-2013
Originally Posted by countrymom:
good for you. Maybe next time mom will think before she speaks.
Pick up is still 3 hours away. I can't wait to just be done with this. I will miss the child, despite the short time I got to spend with them.
Reply
Unregistered 03:11 PM 11-20-2013
You thought she threw a fit before. Wait until she realizes you're not backing down! Picture a three year old temper tantrum cause you're about to have one.LOL
Seriously though,I hope it goes good for you at the end of the day.
Just be pleasant(kill her with kindness) and tell him goodbye.
I feel bad for the kid,he can't help it his mother is crazy
Reply
Unregistered 03:16 PM 11-20-2013
Are you EST? If so, how did pickup go? If not, please update when you can.
Reply
daycare 03:36 PM 11-20-2013
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Are you EST? If so, how did pickup go? If not, please update when you can.
PST.......... I will update. I am curious to see what will happen...
Reply
KidGrind 03:55 PM 11-20-2013

Reply
cheerfuldom 05:12 PM 11-20-2013
holy moly!!! I cant believe all the crazies you attract daycare. The nerve of that mom, my word, I don't even know where to start. And to come in with a written note and not have the guts to apologize to your face? how rude is that. I agree with everything you said and the way you handled it. She needs a big fat reality check because there are a huge number of schools and daycares that wouldnt even take an un-potty trained 4 year old. You have reached out to assist her with this in a way that many providers would not but she will have to learn that the hard way.
Reply
sharlan 06:37 PM 11-20-2013
Update?
Reply
cheerfuldom 07:42 PM 11-20-2013
I have been checking back for updates too!
Reply
daycare 08:20 PM 11-20-2013
Sorry for the late update, I had to go have some of my stitches replaced from the other days event.

So DCM sent the Nanny to pick up. UGH! I guess she thinks that she is avoiding the whole situation by doing this.

I gave the Nanny, who I was told was no longer there with them the envelop and just said my normal stuff. He had a good day, napped well, ate ok, etc etc.

When I handed her the envelop, I said can you please give this to DCM, it's regarding XXXX care, so it's important.

Ready for this...................The Nanny says, oh no, you aren't kicking them out too are you???

I looked at her with a face like I saw a ghost. I didn't know what to say at all. She didn't really spell it out for me, but she said, "maybe this time mom will finally get it."

That was it. I didn't respond to anything, I did not feel that it would be professional to discuss DC matters with the Nanny.

All I can think of is HOLY COW. I just dodged a HUGE Bullet. I guess dck has been termed from DCs before and I am wondering now if really it's ALL mom and not the Nanny at all like the DCM had said it was during the initial interview.

I feel for this little boy. His parents are both very successful driven career individuals, but this child is not getting what he needs, no direction. From what I understand, the dad works in international sales and is NEVER home. Mom works a lot too and does not get to spend a lot of time with DCK. I was hoping that we could work out for him and give him a family environment that all kids crave.... oh well, we can't save them all

On a side note, to answer one of the above posts, I talked to one of my good friends who works with social services and said what do you think about this situation. She said it's really sad and unfortunate, but there is no law on what the parents are or are not doing for that matter. She said if you feel you need to call it in, please do, but don't be upset if it only goes as far as a one time visit.

UGH....another one bites the DUST...

Back to the drawing board
Reply
Michelle 05:21 AM 11-21-2013
I still can't believe she said "I employ you"

Reply
MotherNature 07:08 AM 11-21-2013
wow. Good for you, using your backbone. The ignorance of mom....insisting SHE employed YOU and therefore you had no choice in the matter to watch her kid or not. wow. I'd be fuming. And then to passive aggressively give you a card? Again, good job standing up to the bully.
Reply
DaycareMom 07:36 AM 11-21-2013
Originally Posted by daycare:
Sorry for the late update, I had to go have some of my stitches replaced from the other days event.

So DCM sent the Nanny to pick up. UGH! I guess she thinks that she is avoiding the whole situation by doing this.

I gave the Nanny, who I was told was no longer there with them the envelop and just said my normal stuff. He had a good day, napped well, ate ok, etc etc.

When I handed her the envelop, I said can you please give this to DCM, it's regarding XXXX care, so it's important.

Ready for this...................The Nanny says, oh no, you aren't kicking them out too are you???

I looked at her with a face like I saw a ghost. I didn't know what to say at all. She didn't really spell it out for me, but she said, "maybe this time mom will finally get it."

That was it. I didn't respond to anything, I did not feel that it would be professional to discuss DC matters with the Nanny.

All I can think of is HOLY COW. I just dodged a HUGE Bullet. I guess dck has been termed from DCs before and I am wondering now if really it's ALL mom and not the Nanny at all like the DCM had said it was during the initial interview.

I feel for this little boy. His parents are both very successful driven career individuals, but this child is not getting what he needs, no direction. From what I understand, the dad works in international sales and is NEVER home. Mom works a lot too and does not get to spend a lot of time with DCK. I was hoping that we could work out for him and give him a family environment that all kids crave.... oh well, we can't save them all

On a side note, to answer one of the above posts, I talked to one of my good friends who works with social services and said what do you think about this situation. She said it's really sad and unfortunate, but there is no law on what the parents are or are not doing for that matter. She said if you feel you need to call it in, please do, but don't be upset if it only goes as far as a one time visit.

UGH....another one bites the DUST...

Back to the drawing board

Why is DCK coming to you if she has a nanny? What did DCM tell you about this nanny in the interview?
Reply
daycare 12:38 PM 11-21-2013
My husband said to me last night. This has to be a joke. Someone is playing a joke on you. There is no way someone could be like this....

DCM told me in the interview that The Nanny was not doing anything with the kid and that they realized that the Nanny was holding him back. They said the Nanny was overwhelming. Now I see why the mom thought that, because it was the mom not the Nanny.

I was told that they Nanny was going to be gone once the child started here, but then I do recall now that the mom did say that the Nanny would be picking up their older child from school and staying with them. I am assuming since the dad works a lot overseas and the DCM works a lot of long hours, that they would be keeping her own to pick up the time that the school and I are not open to offer care.

I really don't know all the details. I was expecting a phone call or email yesterday, but I didn't and so far nothing today either.
Reply
itlw8 12:42 PM 11-21-2013
sad thing is in a year when the child goes to school it will be a reportable thing if they do not fix it.
Reply
daycare 01:07 PM 11-21-2013
Originally Posted by itlw8:
sad thing is in a year when the child goes to school it will be a reportable thing if they do not fix it.
so true..... Gosh the things that go on these days are just nuts. Right now I have a gma that is in town and is going to stay for a few weeks. She has been doing drop off and I have seen a whole different side of her grand kids because granny don't play that. I complimented her on it and she said I don't know where I went wrong with my own daughter, she has the worst parenting I have ever seen......

While I must say I do agree, I just could not believe that the grandma said that to me.

I am finding it more common for a lot of parents to NOT parent their children, not follow through on their threats and just let things go because they are too tired to deal with it.
Reply
Reply Up