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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Another Newbie Question - How Do We Term?
dcm 09:48 AM 04-10-2014
We have a 9 month old (same boy regarding my last post "so frustrating, so sad"). He's been here two weeks tomorrow. My hubby and I are done, so very very done. He cries and cries and cries and cries, ALL DAY. The other nappers we have...hardly get any naps anymore, because of his constant crying, and we don't have a separate space to put him in. I know he's only 9 month's old, so this is to be expected, but Mom is not helping his cause and I don't think he is ready for group care. In Canada Mom's can stay home for a full year, she chose to go back early and maybe she needed to go back early and I'm not judging for that, but I think she either a)needs a nanny, because of the way he was raised or b) she needs to stay home longer. He's eats solid food (she started at 3 months old), but yet he doesn't know how to hold his own sippy cup. He won't drink out of a bottle, so we have to stand there during meals and snacks and hold his sippy cup for him. I finally was able to get him to hold it, after about a week, but I feel this should have been taught a long time ago. IMO, we are not there to raise the child, we are there to provide a safe place for the child, until their PARENT returns. He doesn't know how to use finger food, we have to feed him everything. IMO, he should know how to use finger food, if Mom started solids at 3 months. She's told us that she holds him at home all the time (since Dad works away from home and it's just the two of them) and when she dropped him off one morning and put him down...he started crying and she immediately picked him up and rocked him for a few minutes. Then she left and he started crying again. There is two of us, but there is 7 other children to care for, including three other infant/toddlers, we can't be carrying around a baby all day, nor do we want to. My husband and I both believe that a baby should be able to self soothe to a point. We have another boy, only a couple of months older than him, and he has never cried once here. I just don't think we can care for a child, whose parents have such a huge different parenting philosophy than us, I know all kids will be different from their own, and their is a couple others, that we think, OMG!, but we power through those little things, cause it's just a little different. But I'm not going to carry a child all day, if she wants to give her son, one-on-one care, then she needs a nanny IMHO.

So we are terming tomorrow...how do we term without pissing her off?? I've tried to give her advice and say that she needs to give him space at home, let him play on his own sometimes, not hold him as much, and let him try to self soothe a bit, but she's not very receptive. I don't think what I said, is at all rude, I was told the same thing, when my son used to be in daycare. He would be fine when I would leave, but he had a hard time at drop off, so the caregivers mentioned I give him space, and let hid Dad take the lead, and I took their advice.
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NoMoreJuice! 10:36 AM 04-10-2014
The only way to term successfully, in my opinion, is to be super brief. Example:

"Dear DCM, please accept this letter as a two week notice of termination of our daycare contract. We feel that (insert dcb's name) is not adjusting to our group care schedule and we are unable to accommodate his needs at this time. Last day of care will be _____, 2014."

Keep it short and simple. And there's no way to NOT piss a daycare parent off when you put them in the situation of finding a new daycare. Just focus on the positive side: peace and harmony in your daycare after he's gone! Good luck!
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cheerfuldom 12:07 PM 04-11-2014
Forget about her leaving under good terms. A parent is NEVER going to be happy to hear that the sitter no longer wants to care for their child. The goal for this scenario is to get this family out the door as quickly as possible. Give a term notice today that is brief and says that you arent the right fit and gives them a deadline when care ends. Make sure mom knows she can leave sooner if she finds another daycare quickly....again, the goal is to get them out asap! Dont try to get this parent to see your point of view. Just say that you are finding that your program is not the right fit for Jrs needs and you would rather give them the chance to find a sitter that is a better fit. If she pushes you for more than explain that you have mentioned previously that Jr is crying excessively at daycare. He is used to a lot of one-on-one attention and doesnt seem to be handling the transition to group care very well and for that reason, you need to let them go and find a daycare arrangement that is a better fit.
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TwinKristi 12:50 PM 04-11-2014
I haven't had to term anyone yet so I can only imagine how nervous I would be as well, but I would keep it short & sweet as well and that he's not adjusting to group care.
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Tags:terminate - screaming, termination letter
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