I just found out that one of my two year old dcb's is still nursing to go to sleep.

I don't care that she is still nursing, what I care about is that she didn't tell me till now. He has been here since July. Also, he was horrible to train to sleep here. For a whole month I struggled to get him to sleep here for one nap per day. I was in constant communication with her about how hard it was. How he would cry for a whole hour.

Never once did she say " well, he nurses to sleep still at home."

He is only here three days per week so he is nursing more then not.

Why can't parents just be honest?

I don't know how I would have felt about weening a child off of nursing during the days he is here. She never gave me the chance to make the choice.

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Unfortunately you answered your own question.

I resent it when they do this stuff, too....

It is unfair to you and the child.

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Grrrr! Some people are embarassed that their child is still nursing after a year.

Shame on her not telling you especially when you were telling her that her child was totally distraught at naptime.

She took the easy and gave you the hard. Sorry you had to go through that.

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Thats horrible. How could she not tell you that...or even lied and said well he still sleeps with me. She outright lied to you.

Im glad you worked with him. I have a dcb almost 4 who still has boobies for bedtime!!! Thats what he says!!

Thankfully Ive never had any issues putting him down, hes a great kid!!

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"Boobies for bedtime" OMG I hope thats not my son, he just turned one and unfortunately pain in the butt to put to sleep, hooked on my boobies haha...

i just got the baby whisperer book and trying to find time to read it (maybe if I peel my eyes of this website!) UGH It hurts me to do the crying out method (both times he came down with a very bad virus and had febrile seizures) so I am kind of tramautized about that....

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it wasn't right of her not to tell you, especially after hearing that he was crying and struggling day after day. I don't have a problem with extended breast feeding but I am sure that she did not tell you for fear that you would judge her or convince her to quit. its unfortunate that he went thru all those tough days

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I have a 16 month dcb that still nurses to sleep and co sleeps. He has been here 3 months and I still have a hard time getting him down. Lucky if he sleeps an hour. I did know about it right before he started, but it was only because the husband was complaining about it. I believe the reason she didn't mention it was because of embarrassment. I have a 18 month old son who still uses a bottle. I know that he shouldn't use it. I don't let him use it in front of others because I don't want to hear "oh your too big for a bottle." I nursed my kids for 10 months and people still always were commenting about it, wondering how long I'd let it go on, ect. I think that is one reason people are more secretive about it. It isn't the norm. She should have said something to you though.

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Yes she should have.

When I first interviewed her she told me that he would be difficult to get down for a nap and to just let him cry it out. When I would make comments about him being very emotional even if naptime was mentioned, she would say "wow at home he asks for nap time, he loves to go night night. He will come up to me and say momma night night."

Well no wonder!

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I have two children that I nurse to sleep and two from home daycare that nurse to sleep and honestly it has not been a problem and I dont see how it should be. They know that their mommy nurses them to sleep and I pat them on the back. They have fallen asleep easily with me. It makes no difference to me if they nurse with mom or not. They will understand that with me it will be different just like when my kids have their father at night to go to sleep. My husband has his way of putting them to sleep that works for him. My mom puts my kids her way and I put them down my way.
At first it's hard for any child to take a nap at a strangers house. I would have for a caregiver to think that my child would be difficult to nap because I chose to nurse him/her.

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UH why do parents feel the need to baby there children a 2 year old does NOT need to nurse to me thats gross if they can just walk up and ask for the boob then they dont need to be nursing babies do not NEED breastmilk after the age of 1 years old I dont see nothing wrong with breastfeeding till age 1 or even 18 months but after that I really dont see the point in it. I think some moms are more attached to the nursing then the child actually is. Poor child she is just making things harder for him at your house during nap time and making things harder on you.

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Gross?

Are you serious?

You know kids breast feed to the age of five all over the world. Breastmilk is perfect nutrition. I don't care if they breast feed till they want to quit.

The problem here isn't the feeding. The problem is not telling the provider that he can't get to sleep unless he's attached to her and sucking. Not telling the provider that was lying by omission. The parent had many opportunities to tell the provider the truth when the provider went to her OVER AND OVER again saying the kid couldn't get himself to sleep. Making it sound like he gladly goes to nap at home and not mentioning that she is doing something with him that can't be replicated in day care is L-Y-I-N-G.

Parental lying is a HUGE problem in child care.

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The average weaning age worldwide is age 4. The World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding until age 2 for the many health benefits.

DS will be 2 in January, and I am also expecting our 2nd around his birthday. I will probably tandem nurse unless he decides to wean by then. I'm not embarrassed at all! He only nurses at naptime and bedtime, but will go to sleep well for my husband and my mom.

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Now you have me curious as to where you live, you wouldn't happen to live in CA would you? Let's say Ventura County?lol I swear you have my old DCM . I had a DCM that came here up until July that breastfed her son and he was 2 (just turned 2 in July). I still watch him from time to time as a drop-in client but man oh man, that boy is catered to his every whim.

My DH saw her at Target a few weeks back and said that at first all he heard was a loud screaming "BOOBIE NOW! MOMMY BOOBIE NOW!" and that's when he realized that it was them. Apparently he was clawing at her shirt trying to pull the milk jugs out right then and there and she just looked embarrassed at that and because she was holding up the entire line.

This is the same dcb that when he is upset cries until he pukes and dcm just talks ever so weakly. Not softly but weakly, you know the type. The ones that while their kid is wailing away screaming at the top of their lungs while clawing at her and smacking her all the while her response is is half-hearted "Mommy does like that [dcb]. Why are you doing that [dcb]? Mommy really doesn't like that. Ouch [dcb], ouchie. You know I don't like that. I don't know why you do that." TO A TWO YEAR OLD!!! He of course won't pull this on me, he knows better. I'll look right into his eyes and give him a firm "NO HIT. NO. NOT NICE. NO" and he stops but then looks over to mom and mommy scoops him up and gives him some oohs and awws and starts to fuss and reason with him .

For the record my dcm had told me that he was off the boobie also, not that I believed her because he clawed and smacked at her chest at drop-off and pick-up but I get what you mean. It's the fact that they didn't tell me or told me otherwise that really bothered me.

Now I don't have anything against nursing past one, in fact I miss nursing (my 11mo stopped nursing at 6mo we figured out he was lactose) but I can't see myself nursing past the age when they have a good set of teeth going. Kudos to those out there that did it but my baby was all gums and managed to get me quite a few times so I can imagine when they have a good set of chompers in .

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Allergy Prevention

My second little boy was so attached to nursing that I became (reluctantly) a toddler nurser. He ate absolutely no solid food until he was 17 months old. Even La Leche League veterans suggested that the situation was, well, unusual. Looking back, I think my baby's wisdom was in avoiding possible allergens. Studies (as well as anecdotal evidence) indicate that breastfeeding reduces the incidence of allergies." My first child, who was solely formula fed, had all sorts of food allergies, including rice and dairy products. In hindsight, my second child's lengthy, exclusive breastfeeding makes sense. Most likely, it was nature's way of protecting him from foods his body just was not ready to process. Undoubtedly, some children need longer than others to "outgrow" their allergies, and breastmilk provides the ideal support for their developing immune systems.

Nutrition

Good nutrition is admittedly tricky with toddlers. On some days they cram every morsel offered into their mouths, and other days you can't coax them to take a bite of even their favorite food. In short, they're picky eaters, and their appetites are capricious and unpredictable.

One popular myth that even pediatricians promote is that breastfeeding somehow loses its nutritional quality after the first year. In reality, the benefits change, but they are still there. Does it really make sense that after 12 months of providing your baby with optimal nutrition the breasts suddenly get "stupid" and start making something "less than optimal"? Obviously, the addition of solid foods changes the balance, but breastmilk is still an important element in the diet while your baby is sampling what the world has to offer. Certainly, there can be no harm in continuing with nature's perfect food.

Speech Development

In general, it's believed that breastfeeding provides better development of the teeth and jaws than sucking a hard, unnaturally shaped nipple.' Margaret Connor, a 35 year old mother in Austin, Texas, has discussed the subject at length with her son's speech therapist. Both of them believe that Connor's five year old son's speech/motor apraxia would have been worse if his muscles had not been "worked out" through extended nursing. If nothing else, Connor is happy she made the decision she did. "At least I won't look back and wonder if his articulation would have been better if I had breastfed longer than a year," she says.

Fighting Dehydration during Illness

Unfortunately, toddlers, breastfed and otherwise, get sick. Some get sick a lot, especially those in child care and those with older siblings. When my 14 monthold son got bronchitis, he wouldn't eat or drink anything other than breastmilk. Had he not been breastfeeding, the situation could have turned into a nightmare. When a bottle fed baby gets dehydrated, the parents have to struggle to get oral rehydration products down the child. When this tactic doesn't work, pediatricians have no choice but to order an IV for the child at the hospital. This is not only traumatic for a toddler, but it also exposes him to other germs that could complicate the original infection. With breastfeeding, you can almost always get the child to nurse, which might even save his life! Further, it comforts the mother. It feels so much better to be able to help your child through illness in a uniquely positive way.

Weight Loss for Mom

It's accepted that a woman's body stores up enough fat during pregnancy to exclusively feed her infant for at least the first six months. While there are few studies on this topic, anecdotal evidence suggests that a mother's weight loss may continue during the second year of nursing a baby. The fact is, Mother Nature never intended for human babies to be weaned from their mothers in the early months, so our bodies make sure we have plenty of fat stored up for years.

For the first year, our bodies seem to like to stay soft, almost like a cushion for the infant. After that time, the weight is not quite so resistant to leaving. The increased calorie requirements of toddlers help the process of weight loss as well. For every day she nurses, a lactating woman uses an extra 500 calories. Personally, I found that stubborn fat stores that had lived on my thighs for years melted away during the second year of nursing.

Delayed Menstruation

For those women using Natural Family Planning or the Fertility Awareness Method for birth control, breastfeeding provides a bonus. Research done by the Kippleys in The Art of Natural Family Planning showed that a nursing mother who uses no supplements for the first four to six months gets her first postpartum period on average after 13 to 16 months.' Among the ! Kung tribe, babies are spaced about 4 8 months apart all due to exclusive breastfeeding.' Contrast this with the usual six to eight weeks for a bottle feeding mother. Naturally, PMS and the other related troubles usually disappear for as long as the periods stay away, and the return of fertility is also put off. In addition, delayed menstruation means decreased exposure to estrogen, which may protect against cancer of the breast and reproductive organs. Breast cancer risk is associated with earlier menarche and later menopause, which points to estrogen exposure as a risk factor for the disease."

It's Good for the Planet

Breastfeeding is the best ecological thing going. No cups to wash, no bottles to sterilize, and nothing for the landfill. Postponing the use of cows' milk helps our planet. Because of their methane gas emissions, cows are major destroyers of the atmosphere.'o Overgrazing of land is responsible for serious ecological troubles, as well. As a bonus, the baby is not exposed to the unhealthy hormones and antibiotics injected into dairy cows.


What are the benefits of breastfeeding my toddler?
Toddlers breastfeed for many of the same reasons infants breastfeed: for nutrition, comfort, security, for a way to calm down and for reassurance. Mothers breastfeed their toddlers for many of the same reasons they breastfeed their infants: they recognize their children's needs, they enjoy the closeness, they want to offer comfort, and they understand the health benefits. (See the FAQ, "What are the Benefits of Breastfeeding My Baby?" for more information.) The American Academy of Pediatrics currently recommends that "Breastfeeding should be continued for at least the first year of life and beyond for as long as mutually desired by mother and child.." * The World Health Organization and UNICEF recommend that babies be breastfed for at least two years.

Breastfeeding a toddler helps with the child's ability to mature. Although some experts say a toddler who is not weaned will have difficulty becoming independent, it's usually the fearful, clingy children that have been pushed into situations requiring too much independence too soon. A breastfeeding toddler is having his dependency needs met. The closeness and availability of the mother through breastfeeding is one of the best ways to help toddlers grow emotionally.

Breastfeeding can help a toddler understand discipline as well. Discipline is teaching a child about what is right and good, not punishment for normal toddler behavior. To help a toddler with discipline, he needs to feel good about himself and his world. Breastfeeding helps a toddler feel good about himself, because his needs are being met.

Just as babies do, toddlers receive health benefits from breastfeeding. Your milk continues to provide immunities and vitamins, and can help protect your toddler from illness and allergies. If your toddler does get sick, nursing will help comfort him. In fact, a toddler with an upset stomach may be able to tolerate nothing but human milk.

Toddlers have a huge world to explore, and breastfeeding provides them (and their mothers!) with some quiet time in their busy, waking hours.

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I'm sorry she lied to you or feels embarrassed. It's really sad that mothers feel embarrassed to share that they are doing something wonderful for their little ones and unfortunately our society does not support nursing. Ask her how others put her little one to sleep. Maybe her partner can put baby to sleep here and there and can work with you to figure out what works.
One of my DC kids I had to just rock him until he feel asleep then place down. Now I just ask him to lay down pat his back and play music.
I'm consistent with him and he knows the routine well enough now.

Good luck. I know naps can be frustrating sometimes.

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This is not a pattern of embarrassment. It's a pattern of lying. If the provider goes to her time and again and says the kid can't put himself to sleep at TWO and she reponds with "he does GREAT with me and even begs to go to bed" and leaves out the "he's falling asleep at the breast suckling" part... that's not embarrass... that's DECEIT.

The parent obviously GETS that the chances of a provider taking or keeping a kid that is THAT old who can't fall asleep on their own without suckling... is VERY low.

The parent did that for THEMSELF. They did it to have child care. It's not about what society THINKS or about the kid... it's about being able to have day care. I am suspicious that this kid wasn't booted out of child care previously and the parent learned that she can't divuldge the truth or she may not even get someone to take him.

If you have a kid that can not function without you then YOU have to stay with the kid. Putting that on someone and lying about it for months is just wrong. I don't care if the lie is about breastfeeding or anything else. It's just a lie.

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well unregistered, I nursed my dd till she was 3yrs old, you got a problem with that. Your the dumbass who doesn't know the benefits of nursings and obviously you are not a parent but some lurker because if you were a parent then you would understand that nursing is as normal as a child who needs his bottle. Bite me!

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I think you are right, my experience has been the children that have been breastfed too long have been difficult and emotionally regressed. And the parent is typically in denial about that.

She should have stopped before putting her child in daycare, and If a parent wants them to have breast milk they can transfer it to a bottle.

The mom wants the provider to fix this child's issues so she doesn't have to. If the child is that bad, I would consider terming and, of course because the parent wasn't up front to begin with. The trust is gone.

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Like regular members, everyone is entitled to their opinion.

I think for a lot of people (possibly the unregistered poster in this case) it has more to do with either never have been a BF'ing mom themselves or lack of education on the subject but either way, name calling does not help the education process or help with comprehension.

To each his/her own as far as how long a child is or isn't breast fed. I have seen both sides. I think the problem with the OP though was the fact that mom didn't disclose the whole truth and left the provider in the dark about bedtime routines.

FWIW~ I am a parent and I knew nothing, zero, zilch about breastfeeding until I became a child care provider and enrolled a parent who breastfed her child.

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She is gonna pay for that later in life big time. Shes nothing but a human pacifier. Im all for bf but come on now, at that age the child should be nodding off on his own. I have had quite a few parents withhold info from me. Its so annoying!
Debbie

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I remember with my first the pediatrician told me at 15 months he should be off the bottle and he was very attached to his bottle at that time. (I weaned him at 12 months) At about 18 months he didn't ask for the bottle one day - I put them away and he never asked for them again! I was like "Whew! That was easy!"

I wish everything in Motherhood was that easy.

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Nobody has lied to me about nursing their babies/toddlers to sleep, only because I pretty much assume it happens. Once in a great while, I will come across someone who doesn't nurse baby to sleep...but it has been a fairly reliable assumption on my part so far.

I have had many of parents lie about paci use at home..."we only use a paci at night and at naps". Come to find out months later that it was only wishful thinking or day or two at restricting paci use....I still would have restricted paci to naps anyway, why lie about it?

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With all due respect to my colleagues: I, too, find breastfeeding after a child is a year "disgusting". I totally agree with one of the other posters who said that a nursing mother is just a human pacifier. I also agree that at that age (2 and up), the mother needs it more than the child.

According to studies that were posted in this thread, its natural for a 5 year old to be nursing. Hmmm Maybe to avoid this next time, no matter what you enroll, just ask the parents if their requires a boob for sleeping!

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Wow I hadn't been able to check on the forum in a day. I didn't realize this discussion got so heavy.

Nan is right. I really don't care if someone wants to breastfeed till 5 or whenever. But she should have been honest about the nap time routine at home.

It really bothers me. She lied to me. She had every opportunity to tell me about the nursing. I don't care if she was embarrassed. But everyday when I would talk to her about the nap time crying, she never said a word. Just said well good luck today.

She used me to wean her child. So all the mothers on here (I have four myself so don't judge) that are using this post as a way to promote your agenda for breastfeeding till age 5, what you should be posting about is how to PROPERLY wean your child from breast feeding BEFORE you take your child to daycare.

I breastfeed all four of my children. But I never expected another person to wean my child.

Infact she hasn't weaned him at home he is still nursing. He is just really unhappy while he is here around nap time. Sure he goes to sleep, but he is really unhappy. Why would you want that for your child. Why wouldn't you want to give your child every opportunity to be happy while in another's care.

And why would you lie about it?

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Any chance he went to another day care before you? Another two or three maybe?

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I agree with you. He should have been weaned at home but there is nothing wrong with nursing when he is with mom. I would have confronted her about it and told her that in order for him to nap he needs his boobies, so for now on, you are going to call her at work and tell her that she needs to sooth him to bed. call her a couple times at work when its nap time, I bet you she will fix the problem.

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I am ALLOWED my own opinion YES I think nursing a 2 year old or beyond is gross. No need for name calling dont even know why you feel the need to defend yourself.

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Who knows at this point

She said that this was his first daycare.

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I don't think you should ask a parent to wean just because they are going to childcare. You can find other ways to get the child to sleep.
My son is 3 I still nurse him to sleep and he goes to school. When he's at school he naps just like all the other kids. His school says he's a great naper. I have never told them he nurses to sleep because I didn't think it was necessary.
I just finished putting a DC kid for a nap and he nurses to sleep with his mom.

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I agree. Nursing is between mommy and child. My inlaws would throw a fit if the knew my 21 month old is still nursing. Not that it's any of their business, and it really shouldn't matter to anyone else. When DS is with other people, he naps fine, so it's not an issue.

However, in the original poster's case, it is becoming an issue because the kid is not napping. I'm sure it will just take some getting used to for the kid, especially because this is his first daycare experience anyways!

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There might be other reasons he's not napping:

-new to the rutine
-ear infection
-allergies
-not getting enough sleep at night
-has a cold/flu
-ear ache
-hungry
-millstone development

Things to try:
-music in the background
-be consistent
-Acknowlegde that this is a difficult transition for him and talk to him through the process
-rock/bounce
-wear him in a carrier
-have him eat before going to sleep

My son had a hard time sleeping as an infant because he had sleep apnea and constant ear infections some that we didn't know about until it was really bad. He had ear tubes and his tonsils out and this changed his sleeping completely. I'm glad I nursed him through it or it might have been worse and he would've never slept.

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The difference is your kid is going down for a nap for them and is a great napper. This kid is NOT. So your comparison isn't comparable. It's apples to flying saucers.

This situation the Mom was told over and over how horendous it was putting him for a nap. He cried and cried. She responded with "he goes down great for me and begs for a nap".

That's lying by ommission.

I have a baby here who is breastfed and I have NO idea whether he nurses to sleep or not. I don't care. Doesn't have anything to do with the price of eggs. He sleeps like a baby for me and goes down and out in seconds. There would be no reason for me to even ask.

BIG difference.

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Nope... OP tell me if I'm wrong

He's not new
He doesn't have an ear infection
He doesn't have allergies
He doesn't have a cold... flu... or illness

It's been going on for MONTHS. If the kid had health issues the OP would have mentioned it.

He wants to suckle to go to sleep. That simple.

That little tid bit of info would have made a HUGE difference to the provider from the go.

I'm ALL for breast feeding. It's a lot of extra work for me as a provider but I have dealt with that and have moved into a system that works as well as possible here.

I don't care if they breast feed till they are in first grade. I could care less. It's amazing nutrition and it's between the kid and Mom. I have a baby now who is bf and his Mom is working hard to make it work. I give her pep talks and PRAISE her over and over for doing this for him. If I had my choice I would have them breastfeed until the kid refused.

There's no medical... crunchy granola way around this.... this parent deceived the provider. plain and simple

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If she hears enough of his crying it will trigger quite a response... a wet one!

To the OP - you have been deceived and now it will be hard to believe anything the Mother tells you.

She's told you this is his first Daycare experience. Now do you believe her? I doubt it.

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The child doesn't have any other health issues. Even if he did why would it last for four months and cause him to be so unhappy at nap time?

He does go to sleep here now. I want to make that clear. It took me almost 5 weeks of training to get him to take a nap here, but he does now. He still cries every time I have him lay down, but he eventually sleeps.

Why I am upset about it now is I feel like she could have just said in the beginning "My son still nurses to sleep, this is going to be a very hard transition for him"

Also I don't agree with sending your child to daycare to learn how to sleep without nursing. Teach them at HOME that it is ok to go to sleep without nursing. I stopped nursing my children to sleep at the right age so they could learn to go back to sleep at night without me!

In addition you don't have to nurse a child to sleep to continue to breastfeed.

Nan and I are on the same page with this one. He wants to nurse to go to sleep. Plain and simple.

Here is my assesment now: This little boy now has learned to not like it here. I am not someone that he likes to see everytime he comes. He knows he isn't going to be getting to nurse to go to sleep today.

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