Help Please!!

[Christian Mother]

I have a parent who has requested her 2 yr old son to be put down for a nap at 10am and woken up at 12 noon...no more then a 2 hr nap bc he is not sleeping through the entire night. My other 2 daycare children are also very close to 2 yrs of age and they have lunch at 10:45am and go to sleep at 11:15-30am and sleep til 2:30pm. This parent would like me to feed him something light and then when he wakes up feed him again something like. It has been getting very hard as I do not have a break at all during my long
7am - 4:30pm day. I can't seem to find time to eat lunch or have a break that I think is important. These parents are just so fed up with waking up every night that I can tell there almost at the point of not wanting him to have a nap at all. He is a new 2 yr old and to be honest he does not take to being woken up early from his naps. He used to go down with the rest of the kids and sleep til 2:30-45pm. He is just so grumpy and i worry about my other kids napping and him waking them up bc he is still just so tired but his parents said they don't care they want him up so he will sleep through the night. I am not sure this will solve the problem they are having with him at night. I need to talk to these parents tomorrow and express that it really isn't fair to my other children that they can not have a full restful nap bc there child is cranky and up set when I wake him up. How would you express this or would you just put up with it...I just don't know what to do...!!

You say the 2 year old sleeps from around 11:30 to 2:30 - 2:45, to me that is a long nap. But I know some at that age depending on the time they get up, they will sleep longer. My 2 years olds sleep from 12:00 to 2:00.

But if parent is wanting you to nap him at their times and that will not work for you, then you will have to tell the parents that there is no way that schedule will not work with you. If you have your nap times listed in your handbook and they signed it, then they know.

You may just have to tell them and be firm what your nap times are and don't back down.

[SilverSabre25]

Originally Posted by Little People

You say the 2 year old sleeps from around 11:30 to 2:30 - 2:45, to me that is a long nap. But I know some at that age depending on the time they get up, they will sleep longer. My 2 years olds sleep from 12:00 to 2:00.

But if parent is wanting you to nap him at their times and that will not work for you, then you will have to tell the parents that there is no way that schedule will not work with you. If you have your nap times listed in your handbook and they signed it, then they know.

You may just have to tell them and be firm what your nap times are and don't back down.

I agree with this.

Also, if he's a new 2, he might not have 2-year molars yet and be working on those, hence the night-waking. He might also not be developmentally ready to sleep through the night if he never has.

Naps are not negotiable in my house. Kids need their rest and *I* need my rest. I've had a lot of luck with getting difficult nappers to nap and nap WELL at my house--firm pre-nap routine, dark room, going to sleep on a nice full tummy, and good white noise keep them asleep. They take good LONG naps here, and I get frequent reports from parents that their kids are sleeping better at home.

Sleep begets sleep--depriving a tired child of his needed nap will make for an OVERtired child who doesn't sleep as well at home that night. A well-rested child will sleep better at night because they are not overtired. Think about how you feel as an adult when you're overtired--it gets to a point where you're so tired, you can't sleep/sleep well, and you wake up a lot or can't fall asleep in the first place. It's the same with kids.

What I would do in your case, is the old "smile and nod" and send the parents out the door, then continue to make sure he's getting good, solid naps and lots of hard, active play...what the parents don't know won't hurt 'em, and he'll probably start sleeping better soon.

[AnythingsPossible]

If you want to try and work with the parents in what they ask. Tell them you will do a 2 hour nap, but it will be during the regular nap time, you will just wake him earlier then the other children.
The reason he is not sleeping through the night may have to do with the parents and nothing at all to do with how long he naps at daycare. My neices still do not consistently sleep through the night at 9 and 5 because they aren't made to. They make a noise mom checks on them. You may want to share with them some sleep techniques and ask them how their night time routine goes.

[nannyde]

This is a very simple fix.

Tell them that the fee you are charging them is a group fee where all kids nap from 11:30 to 2:30. With his new schedule he will be sleeping one half hour of that time.

Your fee for giving him one to one care during nap time is 10 dollars an hour. So you will need an additional 25 dollars per day for a "no nap during nap" fee.

This fee covers your additional time in the evening that you will need to get the things done you normally do when they are sleeping: your paid break, cleaning, bookkeeping, dishes, meal prep etc.

Tell them that their decision can be done daily and just pay you on arrival for whatever hours they would like him up at nap.

This keeps you out of the loop of discussing whether or not he needs a nap which is VERY important in these discussions. You will always loose a "what he needs" discussion because they are his parents and they know him best.

The other route is to tell them you don't provide services to children who don't NEED a full afternoon nap.

If you are looking for a way to talk them into it I wish you luck. They want an easy early bed time and no amount of words other than "NO" or "yes but you pay" or going to talk them out of the easy early for free bed time.

[Lianne]

I don't 'put up with' anything in my home daycare. This is my business and I'll be the one who decides who sleeps when and for how long so that the needs of my group as a whole (including myself) are met. Parents may ask if a change in routine would work for me, and if it will, I'll implement the change. However, no parent will dictate to me how I do my job. If the parents are having trouble getting their child to sleep or having him stay asleep, that's their problem, not yours.Their parenting needs to change in some way to better facillitate sleep for their child. If that child naps til 2:30pm and then goes to bed at 7:30pm (which is kind of early in my opinion) that's five hours that the child has to tire out again, plenty of time to expend energy.

If I were in your shoes I would keep the child napping with the others, from 11:30-2:30, if that's what's been working for you. You are doing group care, not nanny care for several children. In group care the children, for the most part, all follow the same schedule.

[marniewon]

Originally Posted by SilverSabre25

Naps are not negotiable in my house. Kids need their rest and *I* need my rest.

Exactly this. A 2 year old will take naps here. Our nap time is 1-3. I usually put them down around 12:45-1 and I don't wake them up. They usually wake up around 3 or 3:30. I do have one that will sleep until 4 or later. I'm not sure I'd do the "smile and nod" thing, because if the parents think they have that much control over your business, it might spill over into other areas, and pretty soon you will be changing up your whole schedule and ways you do things just because these parents think they can run YOUR business.

[mickey2]

Originally Posted by nannyde

This is a very simple fix.

Tell them that the fee you are charging them is a group fee where all kids nap from 11:30 to 2:30. With his new schedule he will be sleeping one half hour of that time.

Your fee for giving him one to one care during nap time is 10 dollars an hour. So you will need an additional 25 dollars per day for a "no nap during nap" fee.

This fee covers your additional time in the evening that you will need to get the things done you normally do when they are sleeping: your paid break, cleaning, bookkeeping, dishes, meal prep etc.

Tell them that their decision can be done daily and just pay you on arrival for whatever hours they would like him up at nap.

This keeps you out of the loop of discussing whether or not he needs a nap which is VERY important in these discussions. You will always loose a "what he needs" discussion because they are his parents and they know him best.

The other route is to tell them you don't provide services to children who don't NEED a full afternoon nap.

If you are looking for a way to talk them into it I wish you luck. They want an easy early bed time and no amount of words other than "NO" or "yes but you pay" or going to talk them out of the easy early for free bed time.

I agree!!

Every child naps here from 1-3. Unless the parents want to pay a maid to come and do all of the things I really need to do while they sleep there are not going to be any exceptions!

Parents really have no idea what a long day this is for us! I would like to see them work through their lunch and coffee breaks EVERYDAY like we all do!

[SilverSabre25]

Originally Posted by SilverSabre25

Naps are not negotiable in my house. Kids need their rest and *I* need my rest.

In light of that thread earlier this week, allow me to clarify and say that by rest I don't mean *sleep* I mean relax and get stuff done and rest from having to chase after small children.

[countrymom]

has he had sleep problems before at night. I'm just wondering if this is a new thing or old thing. I agree with the others. Everyone naps at the same time 1-3:30 (many of the kids takes about 15 mins to fall asleep) I think the problem is that his routine is way crazy. Who feeds a child a small meal before he goes to sleep and then another small meal after he wakes up. Also, that nap time you have is too early. Nap is non negotiable here too,

[nannyde]

Originally Posted by countrymom

Who feeds a child a small meal before he goes to sleep and then another small meal after he wakes up.

They are just heading the provider off from her response that if he slept from ten to twelve that he would miss lunch. This way he gets a special pre nap meal and a special post nap meal.

This means she gets to one to one him twice for meals when she would just be having him in the group during lunch. Then she gets to one to one him for 2.5 hours during nap.

So just with their "words" they get to turn 3 plus hour a day into one to one private care when they are paying for group care. Just a few words to the provider and BAM you get 3 hours a day... 15 hours a week of "my child" for free.

[Christian Mother]

Originally Posted by Little People

You say the 2 year old sleeps from around 11:30 to 2:30 - 2:45, to me that is a long nap. But I know some at that age depending on the time they get up, they will sleep longer. My 2 years olds sleep from 12:00 to 2:00.

But if parent is wanting you to nap him at their times and that will not work for you, then you will have to tell the parents that there is no way that schedule will not work with you. If you have your nap times listed in your handbook and they signed it, then they know.

You may just have to tell them and be firm what your nap times are and don't back down.

Yes, some of them can sleep up to that amount of time...but most have transitioned into just 2 yrs. so if they go down for a nap at 11am then there up at 1pm. I am totally fine with that bc I still have some time to get things done. But if i have one that is down at 10am and up at noon. There is no break for me. I think to my self I might still be able to get these things done but theres always the chance that this child doesn't take to 2 yr naps as I have to wake him even at 3. He is in a great mood though at 3 so that works. I fear that waking him when he hasn't had a full nap will only hurt him and the others in the long run bc then no one has had a full nap. I have to think of my other families and there needs too. I thought about just continueing what I already have but I do a "daily note" home to parents so they know what there child did during the day...how many pottys, what they ate, what nap time they had. I hate to lie. I am just one of those people. I am not a good lier. Bc this parent is one of those lingering parents and he doesn't always come at his pick up time but is early on occashion I run the risk of him finding out that he didn't have the nap he wanted to have. Hence that happend yesterday where he asked about nap and I told him the truth that his nap was from 10-1pm. He was mad bc he only wants him to have a 2 hr nap and I told him that i go in there often to ck on him and try waking him but if he doens't want to get up then I let him sleep. He is a little guy...preime at birth so I figured 3 hrs wouldn't be to long to sleep. At that time I did wake him and he was fine getting up. I just don't know how to talk to these parents as they won't be happy with what ever I say...

[Christian Mother]

Originally Posted by nannyde

They are just heading the provider off from her response that if he slept from ten to twelve that he would miss lunch. This way he gets a special pre nap meal and a special post nap meal.

This means she gets to one to one him twice for meals when she would just be having him in the group during lunch. Then she gets to one to one him for 2.5 hours during nap.

So just with their "words" they get to turn 3 plus hour a day into one to one private care when they are paying for group care. Just a few words to the provider and BAM you get 3 hours a day... 15 hours a week of "my child" for free.

Yes, that is exsactly how I feel...I don't know exsactly what is going on...but I know this parent get home from work at 11:30am and yet his child is still here til 4:30pm. Well, sometime he comes to pick up earlier then that but they don't leave til 4pm bc he wants to wait til he has been given notice to go and pick up his son or wife. They pay me each week at the beginning of the week. They have been known to pay on fri's instead of on mon.'s with my approval and they normally pay for that week plus the next. Pay isn't a issue...yet. But, I already make allowences such as the parents not having to pay if there not in my care. It's just sooo fusterating!

[nannyde]

Originally Posted by Christian Mother

Yes, that is exsactly how I feel...I don't know exsactly what is going on...but I know this parent get home from work at 11:30am and yet his child is still here til 4:30pm. Well, sometime he comes to pick up earlier then that but they don't leave til 4pm bc he wants to wait til he has been given notice to go and pick up his son or wife. They pay me each week at the beginning of the week. They have been known to pay on fri's instead of on mon.'s with my approval and they normally pay for that week plus the next. Pay isn't a issue...yet. But, I already make allowences such as the parents not having to pay if there not in my care. It's just sooo fusterating!

They are going to have a heck of a time finding someone someone who has a group of kids to nap him at different times and give him special special meals. They obviously don't realize that and when they DO get it you most likely won't be making any money from them.

This is one reason why it's SO important to deal with nap time before they start care. You need to make it clear that you don't keep kids who don't need a full AFTERNOON nap or that your fees are based on all kids napping a full afternoon nap and any parent request to alter that will result in a ten dollar per hour "no nap" fee for any portion of nap they want the kid up.

You said: I just don't know how to talk to these parents as they won't be happy with what ever I say...

You know how to talk to them. What you don't know is how to convince them to do it your way and have them stay. You will NOT come up with words to convince them to do it your way and stay. They want a YES and you want to give them a NO and have them stay.

So give them a YES with a NO. YES I can do that and here is the fee for that service. And a NO to it being free. You don't have to be apologetic about it. Just tell them that you must have the extra 10 dollars per hour to cover their child being up while the other kids nap. The fee they are being charged now is a fee that includes ALL kids napping at the same time in the AFTERNOON. You are willing to provide additional services but there is a fee.

Let them know they can let you know what yours of nap they want him up and just pay you in advance EVERY day.

Don't be afraid to offer the fee. When they realize they can get nap inclusive day care for the rate they are paying now and keep their fees the same they will usually agree to just have you nap him with the other kids.

The only thing they can do is pull him out. If you think there is really a chance of that and you don't want to risk loosing the money then you HAVE to accept that you have to do as you are told. There isn't any gray in this.

If you agree to get him up early to please them they WILL start coming unnanounced and check on him. That check will get earlier and earlier until they stalk you into compliance.

You won't be able to convince them what is GOOD for him or GOOD for the group. They are asking you to do this because it is what is GOOD for them. They want an easy and early bed time and you minding them is going to markedly increase their chance of getting that. That's what is good.

[Christian Mother]

Yes, since I've had him he had been sleeping with mom and dad in there room since they don't have enough bedroom. The 2 older kids each have there own and he sleeps w/mom and dad. But recently they have placed him with his older sister. So I am sure with the recent changes that is part of the problem they have. But even before that they would mention him getting up at night and not wanting to play or so over tired he just cry and cry. He's pretty much driving them nutz and with the lack of rest the parents are just not happy. I want to help but I am not sure that even a 2 hr nap here will make much diff. I don't quite know what time they put him to bed at night although I think I really need to have a sit down talk with them. Prob. mostly with the father. In person. It would be so easy just to call mom and tell her that the 10 to noon is a no go and also that dad will need to stop lingering here bc little guy just wants to go or he gets confused and wants me. It a problem all around.

[daycare]

Napping Policy:

Crucial physical and mental development occurs in early childhood, and naps provide much-needed downtime for growth and rejuvenation. Naps also help keep kids from becoming overtired, which not only takes a toll on their moods but may also make it harder for them to fall asleep at night. Not to mention that it is a major requirement for good health.


From 1-3:30 all children will be required to set up a mat and rest in the resting area to allow for those children who need sleep time to do so. Unfortunately, our program does not offer services to children who do not nap.

At 3:30 all lights will be turned on in the napping area and all curtains will be opened. A wake up announcement will be made; no child will be forced to wake up and will have the option to wake up by themselves. Due to our scheduled afternoon snack time and curriculum schedule, no child will be allowed to sleep past 4:00 PM regardless of what time they fell asleep.

[nannyde]

Originally Posted by Christian Mother

Yes, since I've had him he had been sleeping with mom and dad in there room since they don't have enough bedroom. The 2 older kids each have there own and he sleeps w/mom and dad. But recently they have placed him with his older sister. So I am sure with the recent changes that is part of the problem they have. But even before that they would mention him getting up at night and not wanting to play or so over tired he just cry and cry. He's pretty much driving them nutz and with the lack of rest the parents are just not happy. I want to help but I am not sure that even a 2 hr nap here will make much diff. I don't quite know what time they put him to bed at night although I think I really need to have a sit down talk with them. Prob. mostly with the father. In person. It would be so easy just to call mom and tell her that the 10 to noon is a no go and also that dad will need to stop lingering here bc little guy just wants to go or he gets confused and wants me. It a problem all around.

I wouldn't discuss one second worth of what he does at home and what they do with him. It doesn't have ANYTHING to do with your business.

It doesn't matter if their new nap plan would work for him or them. That doesn't have anything to do with your business.

If you get into discussions like that then you are allowing them to make their parenting woes HAVE something to do with your business.

I would not have a meeting with them. I would just tell them what I have said or simply tell them that it won't work for you. PERIOD. I would also tell them that you don't allow parents to stay during pick up. He needs to pick up and scoot out the door. You don't allow parents to provide care for their children under your roof.

If they REALLY want to solve it they can pick him up at 11:30 and keep him up. You can nap him from ten to 11:30 every day and then they can pick up and keep up for the rest of the day. They are MAKING this about you and it isn't.

I think you are being VERY bullied by these guys and only YOU can get it to stop. They need to BEHAVE if they are going to have a slot in your day care. Nap with the other kids and do a quick arrival and departure every day. NO negotiations.

[daycare]

Originally Posted by nannyde

I wouldn't discuss one second worth of what he does at home and what they do with him. It doesn't have ANYTHING to do with your business.

It doesn't matter if their new nap plan would work for him or them. That doesn't have anything to do with your business.

If you get into discussions like that then you are allowing them to make their parenting woes HAVE something to do with your business.

I would not have a meeting with them. I would just tell them what I have said or simply tell them that it won't work for you. PERIOD. I would also tell them that you don't allow parents to stay during pick up. He needs to pick up and scoot out the door. You don't allow parents to provide care for their children under your roof.

If they REALLY want to solve it they can pick him up at 11:30 and keep him up. You can nap him from ten to 11:30 every day and then they can pick up and keep up for the rest of the day. They are MAKING this about you and it isn't.

I think you are being VERY bullied by these guys and only YOU can get it to stop. They need to BEHAVE if they are going to have a slot in your day care. Nap with the other kids and do a quick arrival and departure every day. NO negotiations.

funny how parents are just like their children... always trying to negotiate the rules....
grow up and follow the rules or find another daycare.....lol

Ok I would never say that, but really they are acting like children who think they can try to push the boundaries....

[broncomom1973]

Maybe I missed this somewhere cause I just skimmed over the responses, but are you on the food program? I imagine it's the same everywhere, but if we get "caught" feeding a child during a time that we have not listed as a meal time, then we do not get reimbursed. It has to be during the times that have been submitted by the provider as breakfast, lunch and snack time. Is this not the way it is everywhere? If it is, just tell the parents you have to serve lunch between such and such time or lose your reimbursement.

[nikia]

So dad gets off at 11:30 but leaves in care until 4 or so correct? Then that makes this pretty simple I think. Tell them you tried it out it isnt working for the group either he naps with everyone or they are changed to contracted hours and anything over 11:30 is $1 per minute.

As Nannyde said you have to be firm about napping policy right from the beginning, its the one thing I have a backbone for the kids know the rules and the schedule and it makes things run smoothly with everyone on the same schedule. It drives me bonkers with late drop offs because it just throws everyone off, I cant imagine if one child saw another child able to stay awake when they had to lay down.

[snbauser]

I agree with the others. I give parents a copy of my schedule during our interview. I am the only one (well and maybe my teachers ) who changes the schedule and it is not at the request of a parent. There is no way I am going to try and keep one child quiet and occupied while the others are trying to sleep. I have children here 10 1/2 hrs/day. Their rest time is my rest time.

[Blackcat31]

I am currently doing a book report for my Challenging Behavior class and the book I was assigned is called Sleepless in America: Is Your Child Misbehaving or Missing Sleep? by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka. All I have to say is WOW!!! I had no idea...it is well worth the read!!!

[Live and Learn]

Originally Posted by Children First

I agree!!

Every child naps here from 1-3. Unless the parents want to pay a maid to come and do all of the things I really need to do while they sleep there are not going to be any exceptions!

Parents really have no idea what a long day this is for us! I would like to see them work through their lunch and coffee breaks EVERYDAY like we all do!

I decide nap time in my house.

[Christian Mother]

No, I am not founded with the state or on the food program. Bc my parents claim me I do right off quite a bit and that also being meals. I have a part time parent that brings there child late and then picks up early bc she doesn't want him napping so today I decided to test out everyone's advise. What I did was just plainly tell her that per her contract we agreed on M-T-TH but since she is allowing her son to tell her when he would like to come he is coming on W and F. I know, what am I doing..?!! But, I had a back bone today and told that nap time is important to everyone on so many levels and although I understand she doesn't want her child to nap I would prefer that she pick him up at 12 noon as I put mine down. Before she would come around 1pm sometimes 2pm. I didn't even mention extra money as she didn't argue or defend her self. I just explained that I have another family wanting there child's nap time changed and if I bend the roles for her then I should do the same for them. I just didn't give her an option. This gave me a way to be able to work up to talking to the other parents bc your right they have bullied me and although I love there child I am not loving the stress there parents are giving me. The book "Is Your Child Misbehavior or Missing Sleep". I need to ck that book out!! You guys have been great w/all your inform. thank you really!! I appreciate all the feedback. The reason I haven't really said anything about charging $10 for every hr is basically...If they want to find a diff. childcare that will offer that type of nap time they are more then untitled...I have had to deal w/quite a bit with this family so I am just plain tired. So if they don't like that I have tried what they wanted and it didn't work out then I guess they'll have to find other arrangements. I feel bad for the little guy as they did daycare for quiet a while and she was forced to go back to work bc all of her childrens parents losses there jobs. She did a lot of part time care so she had about 10 kids all together but 3 each day. And the thought hasn't crossed my mind that it strange they all gave notice and said the same thing. hmmm...But this little guy has never been into daycare and it took the normal 2 wk adjustment time to get him comfortable with me. Now, he is attached to me and he is such a diff. child since before summer time. I would hate to see him go bc we've bonded so well but man..his parents are a nightmare!

[Sunny Day]

Sorry, but you're a daycare--not a catering service. I would never agree to that. I make the schedule for my daycare, not the parents. I'm willing to work with parents within reason, but them expecting you to go ALL day without a break, just so they can put their kid to bed at 7:30 is a joke. Plus the whole food thing. omg.

[Christian Mother]

I know!! What baffles me the most is that these parents were in the same biz before using me them selves and I have to just ask them if they would allow there child's parents to dictate when they should have naps. I think that they would have to say no,..so why should I?!! I can't wait for Mond. bc, I will be talking to mom who drops of her son...she is easier going and not as demanding. When I tell her that I have tried to work with them on that nap schedule and it just hasn't worked out for anyone that I need to put him down with everyone else as it really isn't fair to the other parents nor to me. She will have to understand that I should have a little time to my shelf. I will not even give them a option to pay me $10 for the time he is up bc by giving them an option..that wld mean I would be bending my rules and then I can see them trying to bend somewhere else in the future. If I won't allow other parents child here during nap time bc they don't want them napping then why shld they think I would do that for them? I'll have to see how she takes that bc she really wont have any other choice. But for the most part she normally doesn't get crazy...although I can see her w/ all smiles telling me no problem what ever makes things easier and then straight on the phone with her husband to complain which wld then mean I would be getting a call from him or him coming early to pick his son up. I just hope it is around 3pm when my husband comes home as I don't want to be around a cranky parent bc he didn't get his way.

[TSDaycare]

I have 3 almost 2 yr olds, they all sleep at least 2 1/2 if not 3 hrs at naptime. Thay are all up at 530 and at my house by 630 daily, and they usually go down for a nap 1215 1230ish. This seems okay for all of them, by lunch time they are dead tired so they sleep very, very well most days!

[Christian Mother]

All mine are new 2 yr olds as of this past Dec. and then I have a 1 1/2 and another who turns to next month. All the 2 sleep for 2 hrs. except for one which mom picks up at nap time as he is a part timer and here just a couple of hrs. she wanted to leave him through nap time and I said I am sorry but I just can't do that for her as I am about to have the same discussion with another parent. There is one little boy who naps for 2 hrs but man...by 5pm he's sooo tired...he needs a 3 hr nap. But he is also a very big boy and needs a lot of stimuli. Bc I have all boys..they pretty much wear each other out but there are those days its to cold to go out side and we're in AZ...I know...its not snowing but for us we arn't used to 50 degree weather..lol!! I have never had any problem with my children napping. They don't even cry going to bed. They all go into seperate rooms and lay down. The windows are darked out so it's dark and I play Christian music for back ground noise. I have a wonderful group of kids ...I am just struggling with this particular parent.

[Christian Mother]

I lost quite a bit of sleep over this over the last couple of days...prayed a great deal and then today...was numb...lol!!

I just came out and told DM that I am having quite a bit of problems with putting down DB at 10am. I explained that there is so much noise at 10am and i couldn't possibly ask these children to be quiet as DB is sleeping at 2 yrs old...they don't understand that. She explained that DB that with me putting him down at 10am its helped them as he isn't waking up until 4am now. I said that he isn't getting a full nap in as he can't sleep while the children are playing..it's just to load and then he wants to sleep into 1pm as he missed that first hr trying to rest. Not to mention that I use those 2 hrs to decompress...Cleaning w/listening to soft music helps me get a clear mind...eating my lunch..reading. Those are for me hrs. I said I shouldn't have to work through my lunch. We should all be able to have those 2 hrs for our selves. She was not happy at all. But, at least I said what I wanted to...nervous...but I didn't hold back and I was honest with her about how I felt.

You know, I wonder with both DM and DD bc DD said he isn't sleeping at all for them at night and can't be put back to bed once he's up. I asked what time he goes down for bed and she said between 7:30pm-8pm. So by the time he goes home which can be anywhere between 4-4:30pm he really is only getting 3 hrs of time with his parents. I agree with Nannyde that a child should always have 5 hrs of time with there parents that way they are good an ready for bed. I didn't get a chance to say that though bc she rushed me off and said she will speak to DD about this. I smiled and said no worries. So, either 1 of two things happens. DD comes early lingers and down loads on me about why I can't work on this with them...or he comes at his time of pick up 4:30pm and doesn't say anything but picks up his child and leaves. Now, all I need to do is discuss with DD about him lingering at DC. That I leave for Tues. as my husband will be home and gives me that added security to talk to DD.

I agree with what everyone else is saying. It sounds like mom and dad are having sleep through the night issues and forcing that onto you.

I had one mom who told me her 2 yr old could only sleep 30 min (actually only be on her mat 30 min-regarless of if she fell asleep or not in that time I was to remove her from her mat and play/stimulate her from 12:30-4 when her mom came to pick her up.) This kid was dead tired all the time. Mom kept her up until 11 at night just so she wouldnt get up before 5 am everyday. What a joke. Often times, I let her sleep until 3 like everyone else and what do you know those were the nights she was the best behaved and slept normally.

Don't let this family run your daycare. If it doesn't fit for them then they will have to move on to somewhere else.

[Christian Mother]

Originally Posted by Unregistered

I agree with what everyone else is saying. It sounds like mom and dad are having sleep through the night issues and forcing that onto you.

I had one mom who told me her 2 yr old could only sleep 30 min (actually only be on her mat 30 min-regarless of if she fell asleep or not in that time I was to remove her from her mat and play/stimulate her from 12:30-4 when her mom came to pick her up.) This kid was dead tired all the time. Mom kept her up until 11 at night just so she wouldnt get up before 5 am everyday. What a joke. Often times, I let her sleep until 3 like everyone else and what do you know those were the nights she was the best behaved and slept normally.

Don't let this family run your daycare. If it doesn't fit for them then they will have to move on to somewhere else.

Thank you!! I need to hear all of this bc I believe the way everyone else does on here and I needed to make sure I wasn't being ridiculous. I have a parent who picks up her son at nap time as she would prefer he sleep at his own place or at work with her...she owns her own company so she's able to do that. I don't mind this at all. There are times that she would like him here during nap time and I just told her that I was sorry but I am having a issue with another parent wanting to specilize his nap time and I just can't do that for everyone as each child needs to sleep together and that keeps me sain. She's been quite wonderful and understand and I have told her that if she'd like to bring him back after nap time she certainly can do that as those 2 hrs for me are important. I really appreciate some of my parents who tell me how much they appreciate what I do for them and there child and how they completly trust me and my judgement. For some reason this family is not like that at all. Makes me really think about there character and disrespect. Boy though, I love there son. He is so smart and great in my care...but as soon as he is around mom or dad...he grows horns.lol!!

[nannyde]

Originally Posted by Christian Mother

So, either 1 of two things happens. DD comes early lingers and down loads on me about why I can't work on this with them

They aren't asking you to work WITH them ... they are asking you to DO IT.

They are bullying you.

Tell them he will nap when the other kids do and they will stop doing long drop off and pick ups.

Tell them NO more nap discussions. I wouldn't want to discuss their sleep deal for another minute. ENOUGH

You seem super sweet and I can feeeel it in every post. Don't let these guys be mean to you and call it "the best interest" of the child.

They shouldn't be sucking the life out of three times a day... arrival.. nap.. and pick up.

Geeze she did day care for cryin out loud. I have a feeling they searched for a day care they thought they could bully and now they are working that magic on you. They can just say words and you get to give them three hours a day of either parental one to one or the kid one to one.

Time for them to move on to their next victim.

[Christian Mother]

Originally Posted by nannyde

They aren't asking you to work WITH them ... they are asking you to DO IT.

They are bullying you.

Tell them he will nap when the other kids do and they will stop doing long drop off and pick ups.

Tell them NO more nap discussions. I wouldn't want to discuss their sleep deal for another minute. ENOUGH

You seem super sweet and I can feeeel it in every post. Don't let these guys be mean to you and call it "the best interest" of the child.

They shouldn't be sucking the life out of three times a day... arrival.. nap.. and pick up.

Geeze she did day care for cryin out loud. I have a feeling they searched for a day care they thought they could bully and now they are working that magic on you. They can just say words and you get to give them three hours a day of either parental one to one or the kid one to one.

Time for them to move on to their next victim.

Yes, pretty much as a matter of fact DD came to pick up his son at 2:30pm....I just had a little hunch that he'd be WAY early to check on me. But, I never lie nor do I say I am going to do something and not do it. I told DM that i would put put him down from 11am til 1pm. My normal time and as DD walks up stairs says to me..."He isn't asleep is he?" I looked at him with that look of WHAT?!! I said of course not...he had a 2 hr nap just as I said he would. So as soon as DS see's DD he smiles and runs up to give him a hug and then goes back to his toys. I could tell that DD was upset...he wanted badly to say something but couldn't find fault until he notices 2 bruises on his sons face which he asked about and I said that DS came in with those this morning. They where very light and nothing red or swollen. He made me feel like he was accusing me of something. But he left early and did NOT linger!! Thank heavens!! I just find it very funny that he came checking up on me. If they don't trust me then why use me as a daycare provider. If I for one moment wasn't happy with the daycare program I was using I'd remove him. That would be on me and me alone..my decision.
DD didn't mention anything about nap or argue in anyway and like you said Nannyde...I wasn't for a min. going to discuss it any further.

And see that is where it gets me the most....that this lady was a daycare provider. She above all should not have asked. We even talked about this when interviewing and I said I just could not do that. Hopefully since DD picked up little guy early that will allow them quite a while to wear him out so he will sleep through the night but I am guessing he just hasn't transitioned from sleeping through the night as of yet.

[Christian Mother]

Sooooo Tired of DCD lingering!! The last couple days he's been mad at me so he's been picking up early and leaving quickly. But today he stayed for 45min. I know...I should of put a stop to this long ago...but my husband is usually home and he can talk to my husband for how ever long...but today after 10 min. it was a apparent he was staying ...I even tried giving them all there daycare papers and he still didn't leave. I just couldn't direct my DCK as well as my own and even though he spend some time outside on the phone. I am still not sure why he has been waiting...and I don't care. I finally got my last DCK's shoes on and went out side to really get him start a move on it...I found the kids playing basketball on the little kids basketball. I don't have a problem with my 8 yr old and his friend coming over and playing on the playground or playhouse...yes they are for toddlers but the kids play tag around it or jump on the swings and go down or play on the hoop that is on the side of the little play house. His oldest son (14) and mine (8) and my sons friend (8) where taking turns tossing the ball into the hoop and my last DCB was playing with them but sometimes the ball would miss the target and land some where close to the boy so I just kindly asked for them to watch out for the little on and let him interact with them. He did great made some baskets...after a while there oldest son got bored and sat down to watch and then there youngest..my other DCB wanted to linger by the net...he was just playing with it so my sons friend went over to him and said no no you have to move so you don't get hurt...and he was trying to remove his hands and remove him from the net. This child decided to thow a all out fit on the ground next to the net bc he couldn't be near it. His father through a 2 yr old fit right next to him yelling at the boys that they should not be playing with toddler toys nor throwing balls bc there to big for the net. Granted there where 4 balls..all reg. size. one soccer, 2 basketball, and 1 volleyball. They all fit through the hoop no problem but that pretty much solved my delima on him staying bc he said ok kids lets go and by bye they went...I was so stund by this behavior I just laughed. I decided that a call home is what there getting bc my husband isn't always home when my DCK get picked up. I had had it!! I called and I got a hung up after 3 rings it went dead...could be my cell....then I called 2 min. later and ended up leaving a message. Not exactly what I had in mind...but mom does drop offs fast and I dropped the bomb on her Monday of no more specialized nap time for her son so trying to bring up something again...not good. I wanted both of them to hear my message and I wanted her to question him as to why he feels the need to spend 45min at my house. I wouldn't be ok with that specially if there was no hubby at the house. I just pretty much told them that pick up is at 4:30pm her our agreement that they signed. I can not have any parent lingering that it needs to be a swift pick up. If they wld like to pick up early I need a call or text message so I have time to prepare there child to be picked up. If there going to be a few min. late. Same thing and that all my parents do this for me as a sign of respect. No more lingering!! It isn't safe and it makes me and my husband uncomfortable. I did ask for a call back as I want to make sure we are all in agreement and no miss understanding. Do you think I should have this written up and given to both parents tomorrow to sign? If so,...does anyone have a sample of one I can have?

[nannyde]

I just pretty much told them that pick up is at 4:30pm her our agreement that they signed. I can not have any parent lingering that it needs to be a swift pick up. If they wld like to pick up early I need a call or text message so I have time to prepare there child to be picked up. If there going to be a few min. late. Same thing and that all my parents do this for me as a sign of respect. No more lingering!! It isn't safe and it makes me and my husband uncomfortable. I did ask for a call back as I want to make sure we are all in agreement and no miss understanding. Do you think I should have this written up and given to both parents tomorrow to sign? If so,...does anyone have a sample of one I can have?

YAY for you.

You don't need a letter. Just TELL them... quick drop off and quick pick ups and nap will be with the other kids. If they need to discuss something with you that can't be done quickly they are welcome to text you or do a brief convo during nap when you can get to it.

[Christian Mother]

Yup, finally grew a back bone...I called and left a message expecting one in return...no such thing. Either they didn't get it or it was on some other answering machine...? But when mom drops off we'll be having a little chat...short and sweet. And hopefully I won't have to have another one when dad comes to pick up son. Well see...Stayed tune...I am sure there will be more news. There always is with these parents.

[Christian Mother]

It went GREAT!!! I was able to explained without letting up or making excuses...and guess what..he came at his designated time and didn't linger!! YEAA!! Now to see how the start of the new week goes....