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Old 03-22-2011, 08:15 AM
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Default 2 Year Old With Behavioral Issues....

Okay so I have been babysitting/nannying since I could! I have been doing in home childcare for over 6 years and I honestly can say I have NEVER met a child like this or this thick headed I should say! I am a registered user, but didn't want any privacy issues! I have 2 little guys one will be 2 the end of this month and the other will be 2 the end of April, so they are a month apart and boy are they different! The one who will be 2 the end of April is the one I am having trouble with..... He became a biter when he was about 1.5 and a hitter, a toy stealer, a kicker, basically an all around harrasser! He really picks on the boy his same age, but does this honestly to all of the kids I care for!

I feel like I have tried EVERYTHING and nothing is working! I have resorted to time outs with no warnings, well that isn't working because seriously as soon as I let him out, he goes and hurts or takes! I am at my witts end! I have talked to the parents, but he is their only one and the only grandchild, so they never see him around kids! Tonight I am going to recommend ECFE classes or playdates so they can see and they too can work on some of this behavior! I need advice... I am sick of him acting like this and don't know what else to do and it certainly isn't fair for any of the other kids here! I want to say this as well, he talks, he talks well and has a huge vocabulary, so that is NOT the issue! He can say "He had it, while he is taking it away", he says "I want it", "I want a turn", "can I have a turn" while ripping it away! He is like a vulture while saying all the right things, just not the right actions!

Here is a day for you....Today he walked in my house and the other 2 year old got a sad face and said, no, no, no and hid behind my leg! NOT HEALTHY! Well sure enough dad undresses him, dad leaves, the boy walks into the play area and tries snatching what another 4 year old was playing with! He doesn't get it and I distract him with breakfast! Breakfast gets done and he gets down and grabs a tractor is playing nicely with it when all of a sudden he whacks the other two year old over the head with it! I take it away and put him in time out! He screams and screams, but stays there!

Sometimes he gets mad about time out, but other times he could careless and sits there playing with his socks, pant loops or zippers! He finishes his time out and I talk to him about being nice and tell him what the right thing would be to do, and how it made the child feel! I have tried the reasoning now, because being straight forward and short didn't work, he won't look at me even if I tell him too, he goes and gives a hug and apologizes! Sometimes he even has a smirk! He barely turns around and goes to take a toy from one of the 3 year olds, she finds him a similar toy to play with, he then runs over and whacks one of the 4 year olds with it! I take it away and the cycle continues! This is all before 9am, he got here at 7:15am! This is our daily routine, I obviously need help!! No matter how involved I get with the kids or what we are doing he is just flat out MEAN!! HELP!!!!

Last edited by Michael; 03-22-2011 at 05:58 PM.
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Old 03-22-2011, 01:17 PM
masquedxangel
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I seriously think it's time to consider terminating your care of this child, unless the parents are willing to spend a day watching his behavior and working with you to help solve it.

Have you considered recording video of him behaving like this when he doesn't know he's being recorded? Then when mom and dad come to get him, have them sit down and watch it (possibly with him present, too) so they can see how this kid is behaving. He's a menace right now!
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Old 03-22-2011, 01:58 PM
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Originally Posted by masquedxangel View Post
I seriously think it's time to consider terminating your care of this child, unless the parents are willing to spend a day watching his behavior and working with you to help solve it.

Have you considered recording video of him behaving like this when he doesn't know he's being recorded? Then when mom and dad come to get him, have them sit down and watch it (possibly with him present, too) so they can see how this kid is behaving. He's a menace right now!
I had to do this... My sister told me to videotape the bad behavior as the parents refused to believe that their little princess would ever act out as I was telling them......

The little girl would lie to her parents when confonted about something she did wrong and I tried every thing that I could. So I video taped her behavior one day. I told the parents that they had to attend a mandatory meeting.

I showed them the video and you should have seen the look on their faces. They could not stop saying how sorry they were and so on. I then pulled out a contract and said, if this behavior does not change, making drastic positive progress in the next 30 days, you will have to find another childcare provider.... Not sure exactly what they did, but within a week this kid had changed for the better. The child is still here and the family works very well with me....
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Old 03-22-2011, 02:08 PM
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Try this web-site: http://www.inclusivechildcare.org/podcast.cfm# Look under the podcasts and you will find a ton of information dealing with challenging behaviors and related material that can maybe help you out.

I have a child that is very similar except my dcb is 5 yrs old and his mom is very educated in childen's behavioral issues and works in the field....go figure
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Old 03-22-2011, 02:15 PM
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Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
Try this web-site: http://www.inclusivechildcare.org/podcast.cfm# Look under the podcasts and you will find a ton of information dealing with challenging behaviors and related material that can maybe help you out.

I have a child that is very similar except my dcb is 5 yrs old and his mom is very educated in childen's behavioral issues and works in the field....go figure
lmao....kind of like the two boys that I have ages 2.5 and 3.5. The 2.5 is still on the bottle and the 3.5 still takes a binky.........guess what mom is a dentist.......
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Old 03-22-2011, 02:53 PM
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When you are making him sit in time out, is time out in an area where he can see the other children or not? If it isn't, allow him to see the other kids playing and having fun. If he can't see them, put him in a place far away and quiet from the other kids.

It's going to take constant supervision and intervention until he gets the hint. It may take awhile. I have a 2.5 year old that does the same things while at daycare but way worse towards his parents. I'd like to think it's because I don't tolerate his behavior and he knows good and well not to push my buttons. He's a pure bully because he has no other siblings and has no one to play with on a regular basis or at home so everything is "mine".

Try sitting around in a circle and passing things around. Toys, shapes, sensory objects, etc. Once he sees it happening on a regular basis, he'll do the same with the toys.

As for hurting other kids, really all you can do is stay on it and discipline as needed. It's really a matter of how much you can and are willing to tolerate. If you think he's going to hurt someone, I'd term him. If you think it's just a phase, ride it out for a month and see how he is after.

Good luck!
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Old 03-22-2011, 03:04 PM
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MG&Lsmom MG&Lsmom is offline
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I have a 2.5yo dcg who is similar. I know she's acting out for attention any way she can get it. Today I told dcd that as much as I would love to give her positive attention it is very hard when the second I'm not paying attention to her she's off damaging something or bullying other kids. If it continues she won't be coming here anymore. He agreed. Told her so on the spot which is only going to make matters worse. She thinks it will get mommy to stay home again. Bottom line, I have to provide a physically and emotionally safe environment to all kids in my care. Being "in trouble" all the time isn't emotionally safe imho.
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Old 03-23-2011, 08:08 AM
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Well I do think his parents care and will help, it is just they don't have alot of friends with kids or cousins around or anything so they don't really see it! He is the only one so he doesn't need to share, if he wants a toy he gets that toy! He comes here 4 days a week, not sure while he isn't able to switch over and realize he isn't the only one in the house here! She was open to trying a ECFE class or even trying to set up playdates for him! I think the more consistent we can all be with him the better he will be! He just has a mean streak and I really want her to see it! She has seen it almost everyday she picks up, but nothing like having to deal with it all day everyday! I feel like everyday I report his time outs and really how naughty this kid was and I am tired of it and want to fix it for everyone! I REALLY hope it is just a phase..... He just is overly aggressive! I don't know he seems better, not perfect, but better on the days the other 2 year old isn't here! He still does it to the other kids, but not as much or should I say they are bigger than him unlike the other 2 year old so it isn't soooo dangerous, but they don't deserve it! I am just sick of nagging and putting the kid in time out! I do feel like it is hard to find areas for positive reinforcement, but when it arises I make a HUGE deal of it! I have tried time out right in the play room and in the hallway just outside the playroom, both areas I can see him and he can see us! I cannot seperate him from the group! He is just thick headed and doesn't get it or something! I mean he can be sitting in time out for taking away everyones toy and he goes and apologizes and gives a hug and then rips the toy out of the kid he is apologizing to hand! We do the circle share thing, he has a blast with it and laughs the whole time just isn't clicking I guess! He just seems to want what everyone else has, which is part of his age yes, but the bulldozer, and behaviors that are going on and on with it need to stop! I have also taught all the other kids to put up their hand and say STOP get out of my bubble, but........ He is like a bulldozer! I guess he is determined! If he wants it by golly he is going to get it! I don't know I appreciate all of your opinions! I really don't want to give up on him, he isn't even 2 yet, he can change right??!! The other kids don't deserve it no, but everyone has faults and I would hate to start this kid out on the pass along game! I would rather stop it now!! Any other ideas : S
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Old 04-10-2013, 10:16 AM
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Default Exactly the same problem

I am a stay at home mom with a 1 yo boy. I babysit my nephew for my sister, he is 2 1/2. They are almost to the day 18 months apart. I love my nephew so much but this child is a complete menace... He is an only child, everything my son touches, my nephew rips out of his hands. He gets in his face and screams/growls until my son is terrified and is crying hysterically. He pushes, kicks, and hits with his hands or toys. I have tried everything. Timeouts do not work. He does the same thing, he will sit in time out and cry sometimes or just sit there otherwise and then come out and be right back at it. This is not an issue of me just not watching him anymore. I think he's prob had other issues at daycare before I came along but I'm not 100% sure. He took my son's cup the other day and threw it under a piece of furniture and scolded him. He's 2, you do not scold others when you are 2. I sent him to time out. He got and andcame back and took his snack cup, did the same thing. You have got to be kidding me. I am past my wits end. He knows what it means to don't touch but he apparantly is hard of listening? I don't know what to do. My sister says he is an angel at home... What do I do? Is there something behaviorally wrong with him or is all the adults in his life giving him the wrong direction?
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Old 04-10-2013, 11:06 AM
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NeedaVaca NeedaVaca is offline
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Instead of waiting for the inevitable and giving time outs which don't seem to be working I would separate him from the kids with a hula hoop. He can pick a toy to play with and play in his own area. When he wants a new toy to play with he asks you, you bring it but he plays in the hula hoop. After a day of this (maybe more) and your explaining why he is in the hula hoop let him play with the group again. If he misbehaves, hula hoop for the remainder of the day.
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Old 04-10-2013, 11:54 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
Try this web-site: http://www.inclusivechildcare.org/podcast.cfm# Look under the podcasts and you will find a ton of information dealing with challenging behaviors and related material that can maybe help you out.

I have a child that is very similar except my dcb is 5 yrs old and his mom is very educated in childen's behavioral issues and works in the field....go figure
Thanks for the link, BC! I'm checking it out.
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