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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Irritated at DCM
UtahMomma 09:01 AM 07-24-2013
I received my license last week and sent out a notice yesterday to parents about the policies and procedures and pointed out a few specific ones on the letter such as no toys from home are to be brought to daycare and wearing appropriate clothing and shoes (which should be an issue, but it has been)

I've had one DCM for a few months (I could have 4 DCK unlicensed) who is a bit difficult to work with and very different from other parents (LONG story). She has shown up to daycare with her 3 yo DCB without shoes!! The weather here is 110+ that will melt your feet off. Now she has been bringing him the last two days with his 6 yo brother's flip flops on and they are huge. He can barely walk in them. They also showed up today with a bunch of toys from home

We were supposed to go to the Utah 24th of July parade and activities at the park. We are not going because DCB has enormous shoes on. I text her about them and that we would not be able to participate in the activities for the day and she replied "He loves the flip flops. He will be fine"

In her letter specifically I put that clothes and shoes must fit and no toys from home and they show up with both
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Cradle2crayons 09:06 AM 07-24-2013
Originally Posted by UtahMomma:
I received my license last week and sent out a notice yesterday to parents about the policies and procedures and pointed out a few specific ones on the letter such as no toys from home are to be brought to daycare and wearing appropriate clothing and shoes (which should be an issue, but it has been)

I've had one DCM for a few months (I could have 4 DCK unlicensed) who is a bit difficult to work with and very different from other parents (LONG story). She has shown up to daycare with her 3 yo DCB without shoes!! The weather here is 110+ that will melt your feet off. Now she has been bringing him the last two days with his 6 yo brother's flip flops on and they are huge. He can barely walk in them. They also showed up today with a bunch of toys from home

We were supposed to go to the Utah 24th of July parade and activities at the park. We are not going because DCB has enormous shoes on. I text her about them and that we would not be able to participate in the activities for the day and she replied "He loves the flip flops. He will be fine"

In her letter specifically I put that clothes and shoes must fit and no toys from home and they show up with both
But remember, when yu accepted the child into care at the door, yu basically gave mom permission to break your policies.

I'd have refused them at the door. I'd have told mom you had plans and the policies state that the child has to come in appropriate shoes and ready to participate. It's not fair ores have to miss out because the mom was allowed to break the rules.

Call her for pickup and take the rest to the parade
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BumbleBee 09:12 AM 07-24-2013
There's always one isn't there? I have a dcm who is similar to this. I've got her "trained" now for the most part. Sending her home to get dcb's shoes when she forgot them - with dcb so she would come back - made her late for work...but she hasn't forgotten his shoes again.

A wise person (BC maybe?) Told me if I don't enforce my policies, there's no use having them as they're not worth the paper they're printed on. I'm willing to bet dcm does these things bc she can.

I'm sure others will chime in w/more/better advice.
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Blackcat31 09:12 AM 07-24-2013
Originally Posted by UtahMomma:
I received my license last week and sent out a notice yesterday to parents about the policies and procedures and pointed out a few specific ones on the letter such as no toys from home are to be brought to daycare and wearing appropriate clothing and shoes (which should be an issue, but it has been)

I've had one DCM for a few months (I could have 4 DCK unlicensed) who is a bit difficult to work with and very different from other parents (LONG story). She has shown up to daycare with her 3 yo DCB without shoes!! The weather here is 110+ that will melt your feet off. Now she has been bringing him the last two days with his 6 yo brother's flip flops on and they are huge. He can barely walk in them. They also showed up today with a bunch of toys from home

We were supposed to go to the Utah 24th of July parade and activities at the park. We are not going because DCB has enormous shoes on. I text her about them and that we would not be able to participate in the activities for the day and she replied "He loves the flip flops. He will be fine"

In her letter specifically I put that clothes and shoes must fit and no toys from home and they show up with both
It doesn't matter if he loves or hates flip flops.... She is blatantly disregarding your rules/policies. I would absolutely call her and tell her she ahs two choices...she either comes and picks up DCB right now or brings him appropriate footwear so that the other children (who's parents respect and follow your policies) can go to the parade. NO way would I allow one parent's failure to respect your policies effect the other kids.
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TheGoodLife 09:14 AM 07-24-2013
Originally Posted by Cradle2crayons:
But remember, when yu accepted the child into care at the door, yu basically gave mom permission to break your policies.

I'd have refused them at the door. I'd have told mom you had plans and the policies state that the child has to come in appropriate shoes and ready to participate. It's not fair ores have to miss out because the mom was allowed to break the rules.

Call her for pickup and take the rest to the parade
This is EXACTLY what I was going to say- not sure if you can swing it since you've already accepted him, but I'd try to have her PU or bring shoes before the parade. If she refuses there's nothing else you can do BUT I'd tell her he must wear non-flip flops or bring an extra pair of shoes to stay there if she wants to have him in flip flops, but they must be his (meaning ones that fit him) and must stay. Then you'll always have that spare to put him in.
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Crystal 09:16 AM 07-24-2013
Originally Posted by Cradle2crayons:
But remember, when yu accepted the child into care at the door, yu basically gave mom permission to break your policies.

I'd have refused them at the door. I'd have told mom you had plans and the policies state that the child has to come in appropriate shoes and ready to participate. It's not fair ores have to miss out because the mom was allowed to break the rules.

Call her for pickup and take the rest to the parade
I agree. I would let her know that I am not taking the privilege away from the other children so she can either bring appropriate shoes or pick him up immediately. If she refuses, start calling her alternate pick ups.
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momofboys 09:31 AM 07-24-2013
Originally Posted by Crystal:
I agree. I would let her know that I am not taking the privilege away from the other children so she can either bring appropriate shoes or pick him up immediately. If she refuses, start calling her alternate pick ups.

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UtahMomma 09:36 AM 07-24-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
It doesn't matter if he loves or hates flip flops.... She is blatantly disregarding your rules/policies. I would absolutely call her and tell her she ahs two choices...she either comes and picks up DCB right now or brings him appropriate footwear so that the other children (who's parents respect and follow your policies) can go to the parade. NO way would I allow one parent's failure to respect your policies effect the other kids.
I had my sub come over to sit with him while she brings him different shoes. It's not fair for the others to miss out. I'm just shocked that it hasn't even been 24 hours since I sent the notice home with them and already she doesn't care.
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Blackcat31 09:39 AM 07-24-2013
Originally Posted by UtahMomma:
I had my sub come over to sit with him while she brings him different shoes. It's not fair for the others to miss out. I'm just shocked that it hasn't even been 24 hours since I sent the notice home with them and already she doesn't care.
Good job! Enforce your policies.

Don't ever let a parent's failure to abide by your policies become your issue.

Sorry about the disrespect you are getting from this parent but honestly, after you do this job for awhile NOTHING will ever surprise or shock you....
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BABYLUVER21 09:39 AM 07-24-2013
Originally Posted by Crystal:
I agree. I would let her know that I am not taking the privilege away from the other children so she can either bring appropriate shoes or pick him up immediately. If she refuses, start calling her alternate pick ups.
Agree!!! Sounds like you have some time to contact her back.

"Mrs Daycare person, I appreciate your child liking flip-flops, but flip-flops, especially ones that don't fit, are not allowed in child care. So that the other kids are not having to miss out because your child has come with the wrong shoes for our activity, I am asking you to either bring me some appropriate-fitting shoes OR to pick up your child for the day NO LATER THAN (time). Please let me know by (time) what you prefer to do. Thanks"

When she hems and haws about it and refuses to bring you shoes "OK so I see you've chosen to pick up the child. Please be here by (time). If I don't see you by that time, I will be calling your alternates. Thanks"

Then when she comes and gets the child or her alternate does and she bitches you out tomorrow you can say "Please refer to our contract on appropriate attire"

That should shut her up. Also, FTR, in my state, flip-flop shoes are not allowed in daycare/school settings. Parents even in Jr High schools here have to pick up kids or bring alternate CLOSE-TOED shoes if their child is not wearing appropriate footwear. Flip Flops are not considered "shoes" here and they are not safe.
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nannyde 09:56 AM 07-24-2013
Parents can't give you permission to do the wrong thing. Once you accepted him into care it's your responsibility to make sure he has proper foot wear for whatever surface you are going to expose him to. The mom doesn't get to say words and take away your responsibility.

When she dropped him off the surface he went on was your flooring. She can send him in shoes that don't fit and still be within reasonable parental care.

It's when YOU take him to another surface that his needs change. That's the issue. If he were harmed in any way because of improper foot wear it would be your fault completely because you allowed him on a surface he didn't have safe footwear for.

This is why I provide all the footwear for my kids. I have enough issue with the parents bringing them from my driveway into the house without proper shoes... I don't need to deal with the parents choice of shoes for when they are on my watch.
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daycaremum 12:33 PM 07-24-2013
Nannyde??? You provide ALL footwear for your daycare children??? You must have a plethora of runners, sandals, rubber boots and winter boots in every size. Where do you store all these extra shoes?
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Familycare71 12:44 PM 07-24-2013
Originally Posted by daycaremum:
Nannyde??? You provide ALL footwear for your daycare children??? You must have a plethora of runners, sandals, rubber boots and winter boots in every size. Where do you store all these extra shoes?
If I read correctly she also provides all outdoor clothing too- like hats, mittens, coats, snow suites, etc... I don't know where she stores it all tho! Lol
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Cradle2crayons 12:47 PM 07-24-2013
I have no problems in general with my parents and shoes and clothes. But every time I get a new family, I have to teach them a small lesson related to both

They get the point quickly.
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Blackcat31 12:55 PM 07-24-2013
Originally Posted by Christie71:
If I read correctly she also provides all outdoor clothing too- like hats, mittens, coats, snow suites, etc... I don't know where she stores it all tho! Lol
It's probably all on e-bay now as she is no longer operating...
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Familycare71 01:00 PM 07-24-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
It's probably all on e-bay now as she is no longer operating...
Really!?! I didn't know that- just into the consulting business now? Sorry- off topic!! But I still can't imagine providing everything
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UtahMomma 01:20 PM 07-24-2013
Originally Posted by nannyde:372267:
Parents can't give you permission to do the wrong thing. Once you accepted him into care it's your responsibility to make sure he has proper foot wear for whatever surface you are going to expose him to. The mom doesn't get to say words and take away your responsibility.

When she dropped him off the surface he went on was your flooring. She can send him in shoes that don't fit and still be within reasonable parental care.

It's when YOU take him to another surface that his needs change. That's the issue. If he were harmed in any way because of improper foot wear it would be your fault completely because you allowed him on a surface he didn't have safe footwear for.

This is why I provide all the footwear for my kids. I have enough issue with the parents bringing them from my driveway into the house without proper shoes... I don't need to deal with the parents choice of shoes for when they are on my watch.
WOW! How did you provide that many shoes?? I definitely understand what you are saying though.
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Cat Herder 01:24 PM 07-24-2013
Originally Posted by Christie71:
I still can't imagine providing everything
I do the same thing as Nan.

I have spares of everything... shoes, coats, hats, mittens, socks, shorts, t-shirts, footed pj's and sweat suits.

If I had to rely solely on parents to make sure my days went smoothly, I'd go crazy...

It is not that hard for me, though... I only keep 6 kids ages Birth - 4. I buy unisex everything and have them in rubber bins by size... 3mo, 6mo, 12 mo, 18mo, 2t, 3t, 4t...

Shoes are generic crocs ($2-$4) for wet play, slip on velcro sneakers ($5 - $10, walmart.com has the Starter brand on sale right now for $9 a pair, free shipping to store) for playground and rubber boots ($12 - $15) for snow/creek.

I restock from goodwill bag sales, now.
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UtahMomma 01:36 PM 07-24-2013
That actually is sounding more and more like a great idea.


Originally Posted by Cat Herder:372370:
Originally Posted by Christie71:
I still can't imagine providing everything
I do the same thing as Nan.

I have spares of everything... shoes, coats, hats, mittens, socks, shorts, t-shirts, footed pj's and sweat suits.

If I had to rely solely on parents to make sure my days went smoothly, I'd go crazy...

It is not that hard for me, though... I only keep 6 kids ages Birth - 4. I buy unisex everything and have them in rubber bins by size... 3mo, 6mo, 12 mo, 18mo, 2t, 3t, 4t...

Shoes are generic crocs ($2-$4) for wet play, slip on velcro sneakers ($5 - $10, walmart.com has the Starter brand on sale right now for $9 a pair, free shipping to store) for playground and rubber boots ($12 - $15) for snow/creek.

I restock from goodwill bag sales, now.

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Cat Herder 01:39 PM 07-24-2013
Originally Posted by UtahMomma:
That actually is sounding more and more like a great idea.
Check out ebay "buy now" (just a button to click before scrolling to weed out the auction stuff) bulk kid clothes, too... I am always shocked at the deals I find.

Whole daycare lots of toys for under $50 all the time....
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Hunni Bee 01:59 PM 07-24-2013
Originally Posted by UtahMomma:
That actually is sounding more and more like a great idea.
I plan on doing it. When I worked at smaller center, I did pretty much that. Parents would rarely take their childs things when they dis-enrolled, parents would donate their children's outgrown stuff and the community would give us stuff. I had a boys bin, girls bin, an enormous amount of sheets and blankets, and swimsuits.

The only problem I had was not getting stuff back, but I didn't have the authority to charge or insist.that stuff not go home. I will now.
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daycare 02:05 PM 07-24-2013
I just send home.......I had an incident occur many years ago where an older child was wearing slip on shoes (which are not allowed). The child lost her shoe while crossing in the cross walk. She let go of our walk rope and tried to go back and get it. Luckily for me I am quick. I swooped her up and got her to saftey. As we stood on the sidewalk, we all stood there witnessing her shoe get ran over by a car driving by.......
After that day I did two things. bought a walk-o-dile, kids can't come off of this walk rope and I required all parents to sign a form regarding the safety issues of improper shoes and clothing. I then would turn parents with child should they show up in improper clothing...

I tried supplying all of my own stuff, but parents would pick up early and the children were not getting changed out of it, it all went home.........

Obviously Nan has found a system that works well for her......I wish I could have made it work.......
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nannyde 02:16 PM 07-24-2013
Originally Posted by daycaremum:
Nannyde??? You provide ALL footwear for your daycare children??? You must have a plethora of runners, sandals, rubber boots and winter boots in every size. Where do you store all these extra shoes?
http://www.nanshouse.com/apps/photos...toid=122398562

http://www.nanshouse.com/apps/photos...toid=142470737

http://www.nanshouse.com/apps/photos...otoid=54918797

Yes I provide everything. I use keds velcro shoes, gap warmest coats, and we make mitted sweatshirts to put over the coats so we don't have to put gloves on.

I have a lot of dedicated space. The coats take one closet, the shoes a full shelf in a big closet, and the mitted sweatshirts take a couple of shelves. I buy shoes in size 5 little kids to size 2 big kids. I have gap warmest coats from size six months to four and then some other brands for five and six. We buy the big granimal sweatshirts in size four thru ten and make the oversweatshirts for them. If you look at the pics you can see how we make the mitted sweatshirts. In the fall when it's not cold enough for a coat we put the mitted sweatshirts on them.
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nannyde 02:18 PM 07-24-2013
Originally Posted by UtahMomma:
WOW! How did you provide that many shoes?? I definitely understand what you are saying though.
I buy two pairs of each size from size five up to size 2 of big kids. They are really good shoes and I keep them CLEAN and the velcro cleaned out. Quality shoes that are identical is the key for quick out the door. I like everything being identical so it's quick to get them dressed.
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nannyde 02:18 PM 07-24-2013
Originally Posted by Christie71:
Really!?! I didn't know that- just into the consulting business now? Sorry- off topic!! But I still can't imagine providing everything
Yes consulting and selling off my ebay business which is WAY more work than taking care of kids.
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nannyde 02:22 PM 07-24-2013
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
It's probably all on e-bay now as she is no longer operating...
I'm not selling off my daycare stock stuff. I wouldn't want to EVER have to buy coats and shoes again all at once. Ouch it was expensive. It took me two decades to build this inventory. I'm just selling the stuff that I don't use much. I will most likely start back up doing some kind of child care eventually so I don't want to give up the stuff that makes it easy and would not be available to buy again.

I've had a number of inquiries about my precious JMasons.... They will nevah be sold.

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Meeko 04:11 PM 07-24-2013
Oh Nannyde! Are you retiring? Or just wanting to focus on your consulting? I bet your daycare kids and parents were upset to have you close up shop??

Sorry....lots of nosy questions!
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Angelsj 04:42 PM 07-24-2013
Originally Posted by Christie71:
If I read correctly she also provides all outdoor clothing too- like hats, mittens, coats, snow suites, etc... I don't know where she stores it all tho! Lol
We have a Harry Potter style under the stairs type closet. In it are multiple pairs of tennis shoes and sandals, as well as winter boots in many sizes. There are coats, jackets, hoodies, hats, snow pants and mittens/gloves.
I encourage parents to bring their kiddos own stuff all the way around, but if a kiddo shows up with non appropriate stuff, I have it.

As for buying the stuff, I hit up thrift shops, garage sales, and hand me downs from my own crew. And yes, taking good care of things is important.
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nannyde 04:45 PM 07-24-2013
Originally Posted by Meeko:
Oh Nannyde! Are you retiring? Or just wanting to focus on your consulting? I bet your daycare kids and parents were upset to have you close up shop??

Sorry....lots of nosy questions!
I want to move so I put my house on the market. 4000 Richmond Avenue Des Moines Iowa if you want to see it.

Right now I'm consulting and selling off my clothing business. If the house doesn't sell I will most likely take a few infants in the Fall or after Christmas.

Closing down was hard and the remodel of the house was HELL! I couldn't have done it with kids here. Way too dangerous and stressful!
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daycaremum 06:45 AM 07-26-2013
I have rarely had problems with parents not bringing what I ask them. I ask them in advance of when I actually need the item so that if they do forget one day, it doesn't matter. I would never invest in that much spare stuff or invest that much storage space in my home to extra clothing. Enough of my house is designated to daycare storage and playspace.
I have a family of my own that has their own things that need storing.
Nannyde, I'm glad you have a good business, but your sweatshirts sewn shut and having my child have to wear your coats and shoes would turn me off as a parent. How do the children use their hands and fingers when in those sweat shirts?? It just seems weird. Also my child having to sleep in a sleep sack until they are over 5 years old, also weird.
I don't know where you are located, but we have snowy, cold winter's here, and the children must also have snowpants and waterproof mitts. It would just be all too much for me to store all that stuff in different sizes. And also weird.
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Familycare71 07:00 AM 07-26-2013
Originally Posted by daycaremum:
I have rarely had problems with parents not bringing what I ask them. I ask them in advance of when I actually need the item so that if they do forget one day, it doesn't matter. I would never invest in that much spare stuff or invest that much storage space in my home to extra clothing. Enough of my house is designated to daycare storage and playspace.
I have a family of my own that has their own things that need storing.
Nannyde, I'm glad you have a good business, but your sweatshirts sewn shut and having my child have to wear your coats and shoes would turn me off as a parent. How do the children use their hands and fingers when in those sweat shirts?? It just seems weird. Also my child having to sleep in a sleep sack until they are over 5 years old, also weird.
I don't know where you are located, but we have snowy, cold winter's here, and the children must also have snowpants and waterproof mitts. It would just be all too much for me to store all that stuff in different sizes. And also weird.
What I have learned from Nan is if it doesn't work for you that's ok- find someplace else that does .
Nan- I bet it is more work! Good luck with the selling of your house!
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Unregistered 07:11 AM 07-26-2013
I insist that kids have a pair of sneakers (velcro-no ties) to keep at my home.

This started after one of my kids was showing up every day with feces on his shoes from playing outdoors on the farm. After TWO weeks of forcing the kid to leave his shoes on my sidewalk, telling mom that he needed another pair (and money was NOT an issue in this home-this was a power struggle, plain and simple), I finally went out and bought the kid a NICE pair of shoes. Added $53 to the daycare bill with a receipt for the shoes. Problem solved.
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