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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>"My Friends Are Mean To Me"
Hunni Bee 03:18 PM 04-08-2015
I have a DCB...turned 5 last month. He is on the socioemotional level of the average 2 year old. He still parallel plays, when he does play with other kids its usually chasing/try to get me/let's make weird noises together type play. He cannot do what the other children are doing without a reminder (or several). He doesn't retain info from day to day(what we do after lunch, where things go, etc). He does not respect anyone's personal space or belongings, does lots of TV show/movie based play/reciting and is still having epic hour long tantrums several times a week.

Tons of issues. Mom is in denial.

His friends have been massively patient with him this year...he hurts them, takes their stuff, ruins stuff with his tantrums. I do all I can to prevent him from doing stuff to them, but he doesn't understand why they don't like it. Plus I would have to be physically next to him all day.

Earlier this week, he was kissing a friend and would not stop when the friend asked. The other child then yelled "STOP KISSING ME, DCB!!" The DCB dissolved into tears and spent the rest of day vowing to never play with anyone again, wanting to go home, etc. I told mom exactly what happened and why. She immediately began focusing on the yelling and not the kissing. She kept him home yesterday. He had a massive tantrum at drop off, and mom is now blaming all his tantrums and wrong behavior on the fact that he's sad because his friends yell at him.

I am not going to entertain this. But what would you ladies say?
daycare 03:31 PM 04-08-2015
I had your child two years ago and I can honestly say that I have NEVER been happier to see a child leave.

DCM was also in major denial about her child.

I told DCM I can't make the children like each other, but I can make them respect each other. The other child yelling at your son was a natural consequence of not honoring the other child's words. DCB has to understand that while it may have been a nice gesture, the other children were not open to it, he has to learn to respect that.

I would then give her ways to help him learn to respect others space and how to make friends.

I told dcm, at this age they are learning conflict resolution and as long as it is not physical or hurtful in anyway, I will let the children try to resolve as much as they can on their own. Next year when DCB goes to kindy, he won't have me or you to solve his every matter. This is a great age to teach independence of their emotions, leadership qualities and conflict resolution. What is happening to DCB is all natural consequence of his lack of respect fr his freinds.

about two weeks later the dcp pulled the kid. same thing happend at his next place, my best gal pal is the director there and told me that they lasted a month.
Thriftylady 03:42 PM 04-08-2015
It is so hard when parents just won't admit it is their child with the issue. I might have opened my big mouth and said something about the fact his friends wouldn't yell if he didn't provoke him. But I just have issues with parents in denial.
Unregistered 09:38 AM 04-09-2015
geez, you can't just force yourself on someone else. Can't she see how bad that could be? I wouldn't want to be around him either. It's just the way the world works.
Tags:5 year old, emotional issues, parents - don't cooperate
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