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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>2 Weeks Notice
spud912 11:19 PM 06-11-2011
I received a 2 weeks notice from one of my dc parents today for a silly reason. I really want to stand up for myself, but I will take the higher road and not say anything since they will be gone anyway. Grrrrr......I wish I could argue, but alas that is the nature of the business.
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Mike Lassiter 05:11 AM 06-12-2011
Consider they are doing you a favor and leaving voluntary and thus saving you from firing them later. There could be other reasons than what she told you that are the real reason. Some want to shift fault or blame off themselves and put it on someone else.
Start filling this new opening now. If she has a change of heart and later wants to stay you can tell her you already have filled her spot with someone else if you don't want to continue dealing with her anymore. She has told you she's leaving so you have every right to start looking for a replacement.
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wdmmom 01:54 PM 06-12-2011
What was the silly reason???
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spud912 03:08 PM 06-12-2011
Well there are a couple of silly reasons, but the one I would like to argue about is the fact that they were upset that their son is not allowed into my child's room. They figure if my child gets to have space away from daycare that their child should also.

I really wanted to say something to them but my dh told me to just let it go. I know I should let it go because people who are unreasonable will be that way no matter what explanation I give. It's just frustrating......
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e.j. 03:36 PM 06-12-2011
Originally Posted by spud912:
Well there are a couple of silly reasons, but the one I would like to argue about is the fact that they were upset that their son is not allowed into my child's room. They figure if my child gets to have space away from daycare that their child should also.

I really wanted to say something to them but my dh told me to just let it go. I know I should let it go because people who are unreasonable will be that way no matter what explanation I give. It's just frustrating......
That really is a silly reason to leave if you are happy with your day care in general. I think your husband's advice was good, though. It's not worth arguing over. Just be glad you don't have to deal with her anymore.
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nannyde 04:02 PM 06-12-2011
Originally Posted by spud912:
Well there are a couple of silly reasons, but the one I would like to argue about is the fact that they were upset that their son is not allowed into my child's room. They figure if my child gets to have space away from daycare that their child should also.

I really wanted to say something to them but my dh told me to just let it go. I know I should let it go because people who are unreasonable will be that way no matter what explanation I give. It's just frustrating......
This is always a risk when you add your child into the business. Parents want their child to be treated "as your own" so they are not going to like any difference between their child and yours.

This is seen when the ages of your child and theirs is close and especially if they are the same sex. It also comes up when their child is old enough to talk. Once their child gets a load of the private and special toys that you have saved away from the day care JUST for your child they will fixate on those items because they are special... not something that would survive group care or is too big of a price to risk for the day care kids.

It's REALLY an issue if you do "by invite only" into your childs room. This means your child gets to decide whether or not the dckid can come in and it changes from day to day or hour to hour. Once the dck has had any time in your child's room their happiness will be set on that. Anything else you do with the child will be less valuable. The child will discuss THAT as what they like about day care.

Once the child is told NO about going in the room then that's the topic dujour on the car ride home. Once the parent realizes their kid didn't get the special they are going to lobby for it because it is a thing they can use to get their child to get out of their house and get in the car. They will be happy to bring it up to you in front of their child as an insurance policy to make sure their kid gets special.

No matter WHAT explanation you give... if the child can EVER go in your kids room then the parent won't accept the NO. So once you let them in it's going to be an issue when you don't.
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spud912 04:25 PM 06-12-2011
Originally Posted by nannyde:
This is always a risk when you add your child into the business. Parents want their child to be treated "as your own" so they are not going to like any difference between their child and yours.

This is seen when the ages of your child and theirs is close and especially if they are the same sex. It also comes up when their child is old enough to talk. Once their child gets a load of the private and special toys that you have saved away from the day care JUST for your child they will fixate on those items because they are special... not something that would survive group care or is too big of a price to risk for the day care kids.

It's REALLY an issue if you do "by invite only" into your childs room. This means your child gets to decide whether or not the dckid can come in and it changes from day to day or hour to hour. Once the dck has had any time in your child's room their happiness will be set on that. Anything else you do with the child will be less valuable. The child will discuss THAT as what they like about day care.

Once the child is told NO about going in the room then that's the topic dujour on the car ride home. Once the parent realizes their kid didn't get the special they are going to lobby for it because it is a thing they can use to get their child to get out of their house and get in the car. They will be happy to bring it up to you in front of their child as an insurance policy to make sure their kid gets special.

No matter WHAT explanation you give... if the child can EVER go in your kids room then the parent won't accept the NO. So once you let them in it's going to be an issue when you don't.
Yes, it has always been off limits to the daycare kids (whether or not my child wants to). The way my house is set-up, it is difficult to prevent it altogether, but I do always remind repeatedly when they head that direction.

It's especially frustrating because my daughter is not a part of the daycare and she should be able to get away from it when she feels the need to. This is her house and she has rights to go to any room. I agree that if she were older (say 10 years old), this would never have been an issue. On top of that, we have heirloom toys and books that are special for my daughter and I do not want the extra wear and tear. Why should daycare children have the right to play with heirloom toys? My parents would be upset if they knew some stranger child was ripping my daughter's dress-up clothes that were passed down through the generations!

Even if I explained all of this to them I'm sure they would still think that I was treating her like a princess. Oh well . This was not the only issue and the other things were just as ridiculous. I'm not going to get into all of it but I agree that it was only a matter of time. Better now than later....
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spud912 04:35 PM 06-12-2011
Just to be clear, if my daughter destroys her things, that is one thing (although I wouldn't be happy about it, they are things that I gave her knowing that they may get ruined). I just don't want anyone else having the "right" to her things.
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Cat Herder 04:40 PM 06-12-2011
I would not stress over it.

DCM choose to put her child in daycare, you did not.

Your DD's friendship, or her private space, is not one of the services offered.

It really is that simple.
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nannyde 05:39 PM 06-12-2011
Originally Posted by spud912:
Just to be clear, if my daughter destroys her things, that is one thing (although I wouldn't be happy about it, they are things that I gave her knowing that they may get ruined). I just don't want anyone else having the "right" to her things.
It's all in how you manage it. If your daughter goes in and out of the daycare and brings stuff from her room that are her special or you use her special to have her be happy with the daycare kids then it's going to come back and bite you at some point.

The best plan is not to expose the dck's to her room or any of her stuff. Special can not come in and out of the dck's life. They can either have it or they can't.

A Mom who wants her child to have special is going to be able to smell your "this is my kids home and she has a right to her special" a MILE away. All it takes is a couple of sentences from her kid about what your daughter has or gets and the Mom will do the math in a split second.
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Tags:2 week notice, boundries, provider - own child, unreasonable parental expectations
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