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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Have You Ever Been Busted?
lovemykidstoo 07:21 AM 09-19-2012
As I write on this board, I have to wonder if anyone has ever been busted by their daycare family or on the other side of it by their daycare provider? I mean the stories are pretty specific and if you were a parent or provider on here would you say, hey that's me!!
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youretooloud 07:25 AM 09-19-2012
I obscure almost every detail just enough that it would sound familiar, yet nobody would realize it's them.

I might be talking about a two year old boy, when it's really a 19 month old girl.
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Willow 07:25 AM 09-19-2012
No.

But even if I was everything I've said is the truth and nothing we haven't discussed.


That said I have no reason to believe any of my parents would be on a site called daycare.com. I realize there is a section for parents but it probably wouldn't come off as relevant to then, nor could I fathom a scenario where they'd be searching the forum and every thread just in case I might be on it and may have been talking about them.

That definitely comes off more than a little paranoid.....
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lovemykidstoo 07:27 AM 09-19-2012
Originally Posted by Willow:
No.



That definitely comes off more than a little paranoid.....
Really was that necessary? It was just a question.
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Blackcat31 07:30 AM 09-19-2012
I share and encourage my families to use this forum. They all know who I am on here and there is so much useful info for not just providers but parents too that I tell all my parents about this place!

I often have my laptop open to this site and sometimes a parent will just start reading while I gather their child or whatever. Sometimes I share funnies with them and sometimes I will ask their perspective about a horror story a provider posted.

The thread I started about soy and milk based formula was because the DCM asked if any of my daycare forum friends might have any other input or ideas so I posted.

I have another issue with her child that I am going to start a thread about in a few minutes and again, it was on her behalf and at her request.

I encourage my DCP's to join if they are interested but so far I think only one has. She posts now and then but isn't a frequent visitor.

So I guess for me the answer would be no. I have never been "busted" because I am too busy sharing!!
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Blackcat31 07:37 AM 09-19-2012
Originally Posted by lovemykidstoo:
Really was that necessary? It was just a question.
I didn't take your question as being paranoid. I think many people need a place to vent and share and learn. I know there have been many stories shared here that have contained info that I am sure someone wouldn't want a parent to find/read.

I don't think it is wrong or mean as many many providers really need to get things out there and vent and many providers need advice, assistance, ideas and different perspectives as doing child care can be a loney terrain.

I also don't think that wondering if parents have "busted" you is paranoid as much as it is curious to how much shoud you share and how much should you just keep to yourself. I think that many issues daycare providers face can be easily fixed IF addressed but sometimes providers can't find that support system or someone who really understand so they instead burnout or worse yet, act out and then we have a problem.

There is nothing wrong with venting, sharing and posting about your daycare families and your daycare issues. We ALL have them. How we choose to put them out there is up to us but we ALL have issues or roadblocks that we sometimes need input for to help us solve or deal with.

Nothing about that is paranoid in my opinion but again, that is just my opinion.
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Crystal 07:37 AM 09-19-2012
Originally Posted by lovemykidstoo:
As I write on this board, I have to wonder if anyone has ever been busted by their daycare family or on the other side of it by their daycare provider? I mean the stories are pretty specific and if you were a parent or provider on here would you say, hey that's me!!
I haven't but there HAVE been providers on here who have been "busted" by parents, and have lost business and have had licensing complaints because of it. I recommend being careful about what you post and not venting about every little thing that bothers you about your dck and dcf.
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lovemykidstoo 07:39 AM 09-19-2012
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I didn't take your question as being paranoid. I think many people need a place to vent and share and learn. I know there have been many stories shared here that have contained info that I am sure someone wouldn't want a parent to find/read.

I don't think it is wrong or mean as many many providers really need to get things out there and vent and many providers need advice, assistnace, ideas and different perspectives as doing child care can be a loney terrain.

I also don't think that wondering if parents have "busted" you is paranoid as much as it is curious to how much shoud you share and how much should you just keep to yourself. I think that many issues daycare providers face can be easily fixed IF addressed but sometimes providers can't find that support system or someone who really understand so they instead burnout or worse yet, act out and then we have a problem.

There is nothing wrong with venting, sharing and posting about your daycare families and your daycare issues. We ALL have them. How we choose to put them out there is up to us but we ALL have issues or roadblocks that we sometimes need input for to help us solve or deal with.

Nothing about that is paranoid in my opion but again, that is just my opinion.

Thank you
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rhymia1 07:44 AM 09-19-2012
Originally Posted by Crystal:
I haven't but there HAVE been providers on here who have been "busted" by parents, and have lost business and have had licensing complaints because of it. I recommend being careful about what you post and not venting about every little thing that bothers you about your dck and dcf.
Agreed. This happened on another forum. In this case it was licensing who "busted" the provider and really made her life heck. I try to be as vague as possible.
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sharlan 07:45 AM 09-19-2012
Not by a parent, but by my niece when I wrote something about her mom and then forgot to shut the page down.

I try not to post anything that I wouldn't want a parent or family to read. I do that for all of the forums I have ever been on.
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lovemykidstoo 07:46 AM 09-19-2012
so how do you delete a thread you started LOL!!!
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Blackcat31 07:51 AM 09-19-2012
Originally Posted by lovemykidstoo:
so how do you delete a thread you started LOL!!!
Unfortunately you don't. Michael likes threads to stay regardless of content.

If you still want to ask, you can PM him but none of the mods have the authority to delete threads entirely.

If you put some identifying info in a thread and you would like to change the names or things like that, PM me and I can probably help you with that. I cannot, however, delete an entire thread.
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lovemykidstoo 07:53 AM 09-19-2012
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Unfortunately you don't. Michael likes threads to stay regardless of content.

If you still want to ask, you can PM him but none of the mods have the authority to delete threads entirely.

If you put some identifying info in a thread and you would like to change the names or things like that, PM me and I can probably help you with that. I cannot, however, delete an entire thread.
Oh that's okay, I was being sarcastic. I don't think I've put on here anything I need to be concerned about. If my new family reads that I don't like them walking right into my house, then so be it

Other than that, I think I"m good.
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Unregistered 07:57 AM 09-19-2012
Blackcat - does it not bother your dcparents that you spend so much time on this forum when I am assuming you have dckids present?
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MyAngels 08:08 AM 09-19-2012
Originally Posted by lovemykidstoo:
Really was that necessary? It was just a question.
I didn't think it was paranoid, and I've wondered about it myself. I remember at least one person here who had a complaint made against them based on information on this board, so definitely something to keep in mind.

I also change small details, and I don't really have a lot to vent about, so I don't worry about it for myself. I've also mentioned this forum to a couple of families, so I'm sure they've checked it out.
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Blackcat31 08:50 AM 09-19-2012
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Blackcat - does it not bother your dcparents that you spend so much time on this forum when I am assuming you have dckids present?
Nope not at all. It isn't like I am glued to the screen all day.

I have mobile devices and a laptop and I have them open all day. I use apps and things to stay connected with my parents throughout the day giving them updates and sharing things with them about their children.

Checking the forum and adding a post or reply takes only a few seconds.

I also do not run a facilitated program. I run a Montessori-inspired environment where my daycare kids (with the exception of infants) pretty much spend a good portion of their day deeply engrossed in their investigations, explorations and play. I don't lead the kids, direct them or facilitate their activities.

My environment is set up so that I can have ALL my children in direct eye sight at all times so basically my role here is to be available for assistance when needed and the rest is up to them.

I am VERY active on the forum in the mornings until lunch and then again in the afternoon but there are definitely times during the day that I don't have a free second to myself.

There are also periods during the day a couple times a week that all my DCK's (except my infants) are gone from the building as well. They have swim lessons 2 days a week and a reading group-book club gal that comes once per week for 90 minutes. I also have a music teacher come in once per week for an hour as well . My kids are busy. ALL day.

I usually have an infant in my arms while reading and/or posting so I type alot one handed but other than that, no my parents don't mind that I am connected to this wonderful support system at any time during the day. Like I said earlier, a few of my parents are avid readers as well.

I also stay logged in and don't log out so that I can read and/or post quickly from any device I am using at the moment.

Oh and FWIW~ I often start a reply, get busy and forget to hit enter or finish typing so this response for example was started about 15 minutes ago and not finished until now.
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Willow 09:08 AM 09-19-2012
Originally Posted by lovemykidstoo:
Really was that necessary? It was just a question.

You asked, that was my opinion.

I do think it was an odd and paranoid question. The word busted in particular stood out. Doesn't that imply having done something wrong? As if we're teenage babysitters getting caught making out with a boyfriend on the livingroom couch?

Naw.

I'm a grown professional woman networking with other grown professional providers here for very short increments of my 10 hour day. Now if I was playing video poker 8 of the 9 hours kids were here and they were running around miserable, hungry and filthy then sure, parents would have every right to be concerned. But just as I'm sure they don't sit and stare at a computer screen punching numbers at their job with no breaks or extracurricular adult interaction they surely can't expect me to.

I see nothing wrong with being here nor would I have any problem if parents "found out" about my posting.


Eta - I post much the same as Blackcat. My laptop sits on my kitchen counter and the rest of my daycare basically surrounds it. I'm not on top of kids everyday, I don't want to be that kind of provider. I am set up for them to explore individually as well as in small groups. That leaves me time to perch and observe over a cup of coffee and a few postings here and there, many of which I read, start to post, get interrupted, come back, get interrupted again, come back, and a half an hour later I can finally finish my thoughts. I like keeping my brain on like that throughout the day and appreciate the breaks for some adult conversation.
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lovemykidstoo 09:15 AM 09-19-2012
Originally Posted by Willow:
You asked, that was my opinion.

I do think it was an odd and paranoid question. The word busted in particular stood out. Doesn't that imply having done something wrong? As if we're teenage babysitters getting caught making out with a boyfriend on the livingroom couch?

Naw.

I'm a grown professional woman networking with other grown professional providers here for very short increments of my 10 hour day. Now if I was playing video poker 8 of the 9 hours kids were here and they were running around miserable, hungry and filthy then sure, parents would have every right to be concerned. But just as I'm sure they don't sit and stare at a computer screen punching numbers at their job with no breaks or extracurricular adult interaction they surely can't expect me to.

I see nothing wrong with being here nor would I have any problem if parents "found out" about my posting.
When I said "busted" I was referring to getting caught in a situation where the parent read something and realized it was them that you were talking about. NOT about being on the forum at all.

Your opinion would have been a "no" answer. Think you've been around kids too long if you think you need to call another "professional" a name of "paranoid". Yea, real professional. It was not mandatory for you to even comment on the thread if it was so offensive to you. Good day.
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Willow 09:38 AM 09-19-2012
Originally Posted by lovemykidstoo:
When I said "busted" I was referring to getting caught in a situation where the parent read something and realized it was them that you were talking about. NOT about being on the forum at all.

Your opinion would have been a "no" answer. Think you've been around kids too long if you think you need to call another "professional" a name of "paranoid". Yea, real professional. It was not mandatory for you to even comment on the thread if it was so offensive to you. Good day.
Meh.

It wasn't offensive to me at all, and you're making a much bigger deal out of what I said than is necessary.

I never called "you" paranoid. If you read what I actually wrote instead of snipping out what I ACTUALLY said and then twisting:

"nor could I fathom a scenario where they'd be searching the forum and every thread just in case I might be on it and may have been talking about them.

That definitely comes off more than a little paranoid....."


To me there's a big difference.

(But thanks for calling me unprofessional! lol)


If you were only looking for a singular "yes I agree with everything you said OP and I feel the exact same way" then why not just say that?
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Hunni Bee 10:35 AM 09-19-2012
Originally Posted by Willow:
Meh.

It wasn't offensive to me at all, and you're making a much bigger deal out of what I said than is necessary.

I never called "you" paranoid. If you read what I actually wrote instead of snipping out what I ACTUALLY said and then twisting:

"nor could I fathom a scenario where they'd be searching the forum and every thread just in case I might be on it and may have been talking about them.

That definitely comes off more than a little paranoid....."
That's what I got from your post as well. It didn't seem like you were calling the OP or her question paranoid.
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My3cents 11:28 AM 09-19-2012
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Oh and FWIW~ I often start a reply, get busy and forget to hit enter or finish typing so this response for example was started about 15 minutes ago and not finished until now.

This is me all the time. I will start something and come back to it as often as it takes. My kids come first before this forum. I usually read and post during nap time or morning or off hours, free time.

If this was to be a dig at blackcat, shame on you. She offers a wealth of information to all of here and helps keep the board running nicely. Forgive me if I am taking this wrong-
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Blackcat31 12:14 PM 09-19-2012
Originally Posted by My3cents:
This is me all the time. I will start something and come back to it as often as it takes. My kids come first before this forum. I usually read and post during nap time or morning or off hours, free time.

If this was to be a dig at blackcat, shame on you. She offers a wealth of information to all of here and helps keep the board running nicely. Forgive me if I am taking this wrong-
Thanks My3cents I love the support and "virtual" friendships we have here!

I do try to help out where ever I can but by no means am I ever offended by something someone says. I have heard it all before. I think I might have answered the same question a time or two before as well.

For me, being on the forum is not an action that is taking away from my job or supervision from the daycare kids but is one of those things you kind of do on and off all day in bits and pieces but never really give it your FULL undivided attention.....kwim?

Hence the bad spelling in most my posts , I am in too big of a hurry to re-read my typing....

Besides, we all know what the intent is of most (NOT all) unregistered posters.

Thank you though for the kind words!
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lovemykidstoo 12:18 PM 09-19-2012
Originally Posted by My3cents:
This is me all the time. I will start something and come back to it as often as it takes. My kids come first before this forum. I usually read and post during nap time or morning or off hours, free time.

If this was to be a dig at blackcat, shame on you. She offers a wealth of information to all of here and helps keep the board running nicely. Forgive me if I am taking this wrong-
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Thanks My3cents I love the support and "virtual" friendships we have here!

I do try to help out where ever I can but by no means am I ever offended by something someone says. I have heard it all before. I think I might have answered the same question a time or two before as well.

For me, being on the forum is not an action that is taking away from my job or supervision from the daycare kids but is one of those things you kind of do on and off all day in bits and pieces but never really give it your FULL undivided attention.....kwim?

Hence the bad spelling in most my posts , I am in too big of a hurry to re-read my typing....

Besides, we all know what the intent is of most (NOT all) unregistered posters.

Thank you though for the kind words!
I have only been here a short time and already you have been so kind. Thanks Blackcat!
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Michael 02:34 PM 09-19-2012
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Unfortunately you don't. Michael likes threads to stay regardless of content.
I WILL edit if there is somthing sensitive that should be removed. Just PM me.

Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Nope not at all. It isn't like I am glued to the screen all day.
Tulti-tasking is an art. You've really been a big help here Blackcat. I would like to pay for a dinner with your husband or a Daycare meetup for breakfast. Take me up on it.

Originally Posted by lovemykidstoo:
When I said "busted" I was referring to getting caught in a situation where the parent read something and realized it was them that you were talking about. NOT about being on the forum at all.

Your opinion would have been a "no" answer. Think you've been around kids too long if you think you need to call another "professional" a name of "paranoid". Yea, real professional. It was not mandatory for you to even comment on the thread if it was so offensive to you. Good day.
This thread would have been good with an added POLL attached with a yes or no option. Its under THREAD TOOLS dropdown on the upper right side of the page.

Originally Posted by lovemykidstoo:
Thanks My3cents I love the support and "virtual" friendships we have here!

I do try to help out where ever I can but by no means am I ever offended by something someone says. I have heard it all before. I think I might have answered the same question a time or two before as well.

For me, being on the forum is not an action that is taking away from my job or supervision from the daycare kids but is one of those things you kind of do on and off all day in bits and pieces but never really give it your FULL undivided attention.....kwim?

Hence the bad spelling in most my posts , I am in too big of a hurry to re-read my typing....

Besides, we all know what the intent is of most (NOT all) unregistered posters.

Thank you though for the kind words!
I have only been here a short time and already you have been so kind. Thanks Blackcat![/quote]

This is how to write in the virtual world that is devoid of physical interaction. You are using "smileys" which really help to guide the reader.
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Blackcat31 02:44 PM 09-19-2012
Originally Posted by Michael:
This is how to write in the virtual world that is devoid of physical interaction. You are using "smileys" which really help to guide the reader.
I personally love the smilies!

I have been dogging you for a vomit one forever now.......

I think in the daycare world, a vomit emoticon is absolutely necessary
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lovemykidstoo 03:47 PM 09-19-2012
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:


I think in the daycare world, a vomit emoticon is absolutely necessary
Bwa hahahaha!!! Love it!

Michael, I took care of the only post I was concerned about. Thanks so much!!
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mac60 09:34 AM 09-20-2012
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Unfortunately you don't. Michael likes threads to stay regardless of content.

If you still want to ask, you can PM him but none of the mods have the authority to delete threads entirely.

If you put some identifying info in a thread and you would like to change the names or things like that, PM me and I can probably help you with that. I cannot, however, delete an entire thread.
And this is why I quit posting things. I personally feel that we should be allowed to have certain post deleted at our discretion, since we are the original author. Sometimes providers have questions and concerns that are sensitive, and do not want these things left up for eternity. Just my 2 cents.
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Michael 03:50 PM 09-20-2012
Originally Posted by mac60:
And this is why I quit posting things. I personally feel that we should be allowed to have certain post deleted at our discretion, since we are the original author. Sometimes providers have questions and concerns that are sensitive, and do not want these things left up for eternity. Just my 2 cents.
I will repeat this: I WILL edit a thread if there is somthing sensitive that should be removed. Most forums will not.

This forum is databased driven and deleting threads that have mulitple posts from members is not good for the database and over time can corrupt is. We have yet to crash and lose all of our content.
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daycare 03:55 PM 09-20-2012
Originally Posted by mac60:
And this is why I quit posting things. I personally feel that we should be allowed to have certain post deleted at our discretion, since we are the original author. Sometimes providers have questions and concerns that are sensitive, and do not want these things left up for eternity. Just my 2 cents.
mac-

I know what you are saying, but if you do have something that you are concerned that others or someone you don't want to read might, then its best to PM someone you know will give good advice. I PM blackcat and sharlan with things that I don't feel I should post in the open.

I think the site is designed well for us to be open or discreet.
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Crystal 04:47 PM 09-20-2012
I have an idea. How about members don't post things they wouldn't want others to see/read? That would TOTALLY solve the whole problem about editing/deleting threads!
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daycare 04:57 PM 09-20-2012
Originally Posted by Crystal:
I have an idea. How about members don't post things they wouldn't want others to see/read? That would TOTALLY solve the whole problem about editing/deleting threads!
I know what you are saying, but sometimes there are issues that we really need help with or advice with. I don't have anyone to consult for advice other than this board. In my opinion, two heads are better than one. I have been helped soooooooooo many times on this board with very sensitive issues.....AND I PMd about all of them, never did I post them for everyone to see......
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Hunni Bee 06:50 PM 09-20-2012
The whole point of the forum is to post things for others to see and read.

I worry about it too sometimes, as at my old job, I had no one to ask certain questions.

I guess it's just down to deciding whether it's worth the risk just like with everything else in life.
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Oneluckymom 11:16 PM 09-20-2012
I also find this forum extremely helpful and if I had anything extremely sensitive to post on I would do so with some discretion or maybe not at all IF I thought it may cause me to get "busted."

It's a risk you take I suppose.

However, with that said what are the chances of that happening....probably slim to none, unless you disclose your user name and the forum to DCPs.

I greatly value the friends and professional DC providers here for their wonderful thoughts and ideas they have shared. I have learned so much valuable info here where I may have been at a total loss otherwise.
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My3cents 04:25 AM 09-21-2012
I don't leave anything here that could connect me to a parent, another provider or friend. I could have easily had my daycare name as screen name here but chose not to do that. I either log out or switch things up a bit if I want to address an issue. I don't have anything to hide, I just don't want to be connected anymore then I am. This is my business and having this connection to others for advice, issues, problems, and helps and being able to help others from my experiences is a great value to me. I just try to do it as wisely as I can. I think it is a slim chance but not one that I want to take. I need this place to vent. I need my little group of friends that can relate to what I do every day. Even though I have never met any of you, I care and come here to see how everyone is doing. Your all stars with your own little light to shine out there and we all make a difference in these kiddo's lives, even if it is of the tiniest difference.

Good Morning it is Friday!!!!!!!!
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BABYLUVER 04:36 PM 09-22-2012
Originally Posted by Hunni Bee:
That's what I got from your post as well. It didn't seem like you were calling the OP or her question paranoid.
I thought that Willow meant the parents were being paranoid if they were constantly searching for their provider to see if they're being talked about. I didn't think she'd meant that the OP was being paranoid...I may have read incorrectly.
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dave4him 09:45 AM 09-23-2012
Just because you think they are out to get you, doesnt mean they arent

My wifes Aunt posted on my FB wall asking who was watching the kids while i was posting. It was nap time so i figured that was my only free moment
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Hunni Bee 11:29 AM 09-23-2012
Originally Posted by dave4him:
Just because you think they are out to get you, doesnt mean they arent

My wifes Aunt posted on my FB wall asking who was watching the kids while i was posting. It was nap time so i figured that was my only free moment
That was a little inappropriate, IMO. If she really wanted to ask you that, she could have sent it to your inbox or called you. That's not something a parent needs to see out of context.

Edit: oh....now i see. That's what you were saying.
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