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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>I really think I need to call mom or CPS!
Binkybobo 08:01 AM 11-29-2012
Background info:
Mom is pregnant. We were discussing OB/GYNs one day and she mentioned that she didn't feel comfortable with a certain doctor becuase during a previous pregnancy her husband punched her in the face and gave her a black eye, and this doctor knew about it.
Monday the little boy shows up with a black eye, and a long scratch on his back. Mom said here little brother head butted him, and she doesn't know where the scratch came from. This morning the mom dropped the little boy off with a swollen top lip, and said he hit his teeth in the tub. His face looks very different today, and he didn't eat his breakfast. I asked him to show me his teeth and I noticed that his top teeth were pushed back!
I really feel that I need to call mom to get him. This child needs to go to the dentist!
I am not sure if I believe any of these stories. Mom is very sweet. she is a year older than me, but she seems very young and clueless to me.
Is this a CPS call? Should I send the boy home?
Mom is pregnant. We were discussing OB/GYNs one day and she mentioned that she didn't feel comfortable with a certain doctor becuase during a previous pregnancy her husband punched her in the face and gave her a black eye, and this doctor knew about it.
Monday the little boy shows up with a black eye, and a long scratch on his back. Mom said here little brother head butted him, and she doesn't know where the scratch came from. This morning the mom dropped the little boy off with a swollen top lip, and said he hit his teeth in the tub. His face looks very different today, and he didn't eat his breakfast. I asked him to show me his teeth and I noticed that his top teeth were pushed back!
I really feel that I need to call mom to get him. This child needs to go to the dentist!
I am not sure if I believe any of these stories. Mom is very sweet. she is a year older than me, but she seems very young and clueless to me.
Is this a CPS call? Should I send the boy home?
SilverSabre25 08:07 AM 11-29-2012
I'd say calling CPS is probably in order...
familyschoolcare 08:14 AM 11-29-2012
Call both Mom and CPS. Call mom first so you can tell CPS wiehter or not the Mom reacted and how to you saying the child needs to be checked out by a dentist. If it is what the mom says and is not Dad or someone else "beating" the child that is for CPS to firgure out that is there job and they would rather you call them on a case that turns out to be nothing than not call and the child ended up dead next week.
sharlan 08:19 AM 11-29-2012
You are a mandated reporter. I say call both.
UrKidnMe 08:28 AM 11-29-2012
Please dont let this go. I would much rather call and be wrong about what is going on than not call and something very bad happen. This poor childs life could literally depend on your phone call. I have seen way too many stories in the news of babies and children being abused or worse by the hands of their own family or close friends. It makes me sick. If I am ever faced with such a situation I would not hesitate to call.
SquirrellyMama 08:54 AM 11-29-2012
If it weren't for the story she told you about the dad I would just call mom, but... With that story about how he hit her when she was pregnant I would call CPS.
Should you call mom and CPS? Not sure how that would work. I hate for mom to get into trouble but she sounds like she needs a dose of common sense and a wake up call.
K
Should you call mom and CPS? Not sure how that would work. I hate for mom to get into trouble but she sounds like she needs a dose of common sense and a wake up call.
K
Willow 09:37 AM 11-29-2012
Originally Posted by Binkybobo:
Background info:
Mom is pregnant. We were discussing OB/GYNs one day and she mentioned that she didn't feel comfortable with a certain doctor becuase during a previous pregnancy her husband punched her in the face and gave her a black eye, and this doctor knew about it.
If he never did it again, and is certainly not doing it now, then there is no reason for her to fear returning to that doc. If she went so far as to share such an incredibly intimate detail with you means things are probably pretty dire and it's a cry for help. Background info:
Mom is pregnant. We were discussing OB/GYNs one day and she mentioned that she didn't feel comfortable with a certain doctor becuase during a previous pregnancy her husband punched her in the face and gave her a black eye, and this doctor knew about it.
Call CPS immediately and then ask them if they think you should call mom to pick him up. They may very well want to come and document his injuries themselves yet today before he has a chance to return home.
melilley 09:46 AM 11-29-2012
My jaw just dropped open!!!! Yes! Call CPS! You are a mandated reporter! Call mom if you want, but I wouldn't. CPS can advise you what to do! I really really hope that what the mom said happened really did and it's not the dad!
Holiday Park 10:03 AM 11-29-2012
I was about to come on here (assuming it wasn't that serious)and reply that you should mind your business because a cos call can ruin the family and break the a part for NO good reason ... But after reading that she brought hi to daycare and teeth were messed up only when the day before they weren't !? WTH ? That alone is seriously messed up ! I would call them right away before even talking to mom. Plus you need evidence that you tried to do something before they go and acuse you of abusing him yourself . If she has lacks so much sense to stay with a man who punches her when pregnant then I can assure you he has not stopped the abuse . That dad is probably a moster who is capable of more than you can imagine, behind closed doors.
lovemykidstoo 10:12 AM 11-29-2012
How old is this child? Does he say anything about what happened? I would most certainly call CPS and my consultant. Forget mom.
bunnyslippers 10:16 AM 11-29-2012
It is your responsibility as a provider to call CPS. No one likes to do it; however, the mother has already shared that her husband is abusive. She then brought her child to you with injuries that are pretty severe. It is not your job to interpret what is being seen by you or shared with you. You need to share the information with the correct authorities.
I am sorry. It is never a fun call to make, but it is one that needs to be made. Now.
I am sorry. It is never a fun call to make, but it is one that needs to be made. Now.
Binkybobo 10:18 AM 11-29-2012
Ok, I called mom before checking back on here. and told her that she needed to pick up and I can not take the child back without doctor's note. I do realize it is my duty to call CPS regardless of what adult I thnik may get hurt in the process or the fear of losing income. You never know how you will react when put in this situation when you have formed a bond with a family, and now are faced with this decision. Thank you all for your imput
Binkybobo 10:19 AM 11-29-2012
Originally Posted by lovemykidstoo:
How old is this child? Does he say anything about what happened? I would most certainly call CPS and my consultant. Forget mom.
3, does not talk much at allHow old is this child? Does he say anything about what happened? I would most certainly call CPS and my consultant. Forget mom.
lovemykidstoo 10:21 AM 11-29-2012
Originally Posted by Binkybobo:
Ok, I called mom before checking back on here. and told her that she needed to pick up and I can not take the child back without doctor's note. I do realize it is my duty to call CPS regardless of what adult I thnik may get hurt in the process or the fear of losing income. You never know how you will react when put in this situation when you have formed a bond with a family, and now are faced with this decision. Thank you all for your imput
So what did the mom say? Did you tell her that you thought that he was abused? You are not calling CPS then I take it?Ok, I called mom before checking back on here. and told her that she needed to pick up and I can not take the child back without doctor's note. I do realize it is my duty to call CPS regardless of what adult I thnik may get hurt in the process or the fear of losing income. You never know how you will react when put in this situation when you have formed a bond with a family, and now are faced with this decision. Thank you all for your imput
Willow 10:22 AM 11-29-2012
Originally Posted by Binkybobo:
3, does not talk much at all
Another red flag.....3, does not talk much at all
Please take pictures to document before he leaves. CPS investigator will want them.
Binkybobo 10:23 AM 11-29-2012
Originally Posted by lovemykidstoo:
So what did the mom say? Did you tell her that you thought that he was abused? You are not calling CPS then I take it?
I am most definitely calling. I just thought I should leave the investigation up to the authorities.So what did the mom say? Did you tell her that you thought that he was abused? You are not calling CPS then I take it?
lovemykidstoo 10:25 AM 11-29-2012
Originally Posted by Binkybobo:
I am most definitely calling. I just thought I should leave the investigation up to the authorities.
Oh good, I was very worried for the child when I thought maybe you weren't calling. What did you say to the mom?I am most definitely calling. I just thought I should leave the investigation up to the authorities.
EntropyControlSpecialist 10:26 AM 11-29-2012
Oh that is just so sad.
Binkybobo 10:29 AM 11-29-2012
She will be here shortly. I haven't talked face to face yet. Over the phone she sounded confused and cooperative as usual as if I were some child guru teaching her something for the very first time. Take the child to get medical attention, it's like she can't figure it out on her own. I am not sure if she is slow or what.
Crystal 11:03 AM 11-29-2012
I would not have called Mom, I would have called CPS and asked what they advise. If the children are being abused, Mom already knows and is making excuses about it. She now knows of your concern and may not bring them back to you.
Call CPS RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If you do not make that call, as a MANDATED REPORTER, and God forbid something bad happens to one of those children, you can be held just as liable as the parent. PLEASE, I Implore you, call NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Call CPS RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If you do not make that call, as a MANDATED REPORTER, and God forbid something bad happens to one of those children, you can be held just as liable as the parent. PLEASE, I Implore you, call NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Willow 11:05 AM 11-29-2012
Originally Posted by Binkybobo:
She will be here shortly. I haven't talked face to face yet. Over the phone she sounded confused and cooperative as usual as if I were some child guru teaching her something for the very first time. Take the child to get medical attention, it's like she can't figure it out on her own. I am not sure if she is slow or what.
She will be here shortly. I haven't talked face to face yet. Over the phone she sounded confused and cooperative as usual as if I were some child guru teaching her something for the very first time. Take the child to get medical attention, it's like she can't figure it out on her own. I am not sure if she is slow or what.
If she admitted she's been punched in the face by her husband once, chances are she's been punched in the face by him many many times.
Those blows often cause concussions and permanent brain damage. Both of which can definitely cause comprehension and memory issues, loss of the ability to reason well and use logic. The physical damage aside the psychological issues the trauma and stress can cause can be crippling as well.
Denial equates to survival for many women.
Willow 11:07 AM 11-29-2012
Originally Posted by Crystal:
If the children are being abused, Mom already knows and is making excuses about it.
You don't know this for sure by a long shot. If the children are being abused, Mom already knows and is making excuses about it.
She may not have been witness to anything nor may she have the ability at this point to comprehend the severity of such an event even if she watched it with her own eyes.
Crystal 11:16 AM 11-29-2012
Originally Posted by Willow:
You don't know this for sure by a long shot.
She may not have been witness to anything nor may she have the ability at this point to comprehend the severity of such an event even if she watched it with her own eyes.
The Op said this "Monday the little boy shows up with a black eye, and a long scratch on his back. Mom said here little brother head butted him, and she doesn't know where the scratch came from. This morning the mom dropped the little boy off with a swollen top lip, and said he hit his teeth in the tub." You don't know this for sure by a long shot.
She may not have been witness to anything nor may she have the ability at this point to comprehend the severity of such an event even if she watched it with her own eyes.
If Mom has seen the Dad hit the children, and is stating this, then she IS making excuses.
That aside, I am not going to get into a debate with you about this. I do not need you reprimanding me. I gave my personal and professional advice and I stand by it.
Your changing the subject to be about MY post instead of the OP's is irrelevant and steers away from the very IMPORTANT fact that she MUST call CPS.
melilley 11:20 AM 11-29-2012
Originally Posted by Willow:
If she admitted she's been punched in the face by her husband once, chances are she's been punched in the face by him many many times.
Those blows often cause concussions and permanent brain damage. Both of which can definitely cause comprehension and memory issues, loss of the ability to reason well and use logic. The physical damage aside the psychological issues the trauma and stress can cause can be crippling as well.
Denial equates to survival for many women.
This is so true!!!If she admitted she's been punched in the face by her husband once, chances are she's been punched in the face by him many many times.
Those blows often cause concussions and permanent brain damage. Both of which can definitely cause comprehension and memory issues, loss of the ability to reason well and use logic. The physical damage aside the psychological issues the trauma and stress can cause can be crippling as well.
Denial equates to survival for many women.
SunshineMama 11:21 AM 11-29-2012
Mom told you dad punched her...while pregnant, and is afraid of going back to a doctor. This is clue #1.
Then dcb shows up with multiple injuries? Clue #2
And he doesnt talk at age 3? clue #3.
Something is going on in that family, and the mom is sared out of her mind.take pictures of the child, and call CPS. Right away. Then call mom and tell her that you were forced to call (make up a reason if you have to... licensing came, a neighbor who is a nurse came, whatever). I would also give mom a heads up to protect her from her husband. Things may blow and he will take it out on her too (and the child).
I'm sorry you are in this situation I've been there personally, and on the reporting end. It sucks. But I promise you, you will never forgive yourself if something happens to that child and you did nothing. If all is okay, a call to CPS wont do any harm, but not calling may cause irreparable damage.
Then dcb shows up with multiple injuries? Clue #2
And he doesnt talk at age 3? clue #3.
Something is going on in that family, and the mom is sared out of her mind.take pictures of the child, and call CPS. Right away. Then call mom and tell her that you were forced to call (make up a reason if you have to... licensing came, a neighbor who is a nurse came, whatever). I would also give mom a heads up to protect her from her husband. Things may blow and he will take it out on her too (and the child).
I'm sorry you are in this situation
I've been there personally, and on the reporting end. It sucks. But I promise you, you will never forgive yourself if something happens to that child and you did nothing. If all is okay, a call to CPS wont do any harm, but not calling may cause irreparable damage.
lovemykidstoo 11:33 AM 11-29-2012
Originally Posted by Crystal:
The Op said this "Monday the little boy shows up with a black eye, and a long scratch on his back. Mom said here little brother head butted him, and she doesn't know where the scratch came from. This morning the mom dropped the little boy off with a swollen top lip, and said he hit his teeth in the tub."
If Mom has seen the Dad hit the children, and is stating this, then she IS making excuses.
That aside, I am not going to get into a debate with you about this. I do not need you reprimanding me. I gave my personal and professional advice and I stand by it.
Your changing the subject to be about MY post instead of the OP's is irrelevant and steers away from the very IMPORTANT fact that she MUST call CPS.
The point is CPS needs to get involved because noone knows what's really going on. It is possible that the boy could have been hit by dad and the mom doesn't know. What if mom was at the store and came home and he had a bruise and the dad tells her that the other child head butted him? She may not have been a witness to it. Most definately just call CPS, that is their job to sort it all out.The Op said this "Monday the little boy shows up with a black eye, and a long scratch on his back. Mom said here little brother head butted him, and she doesn't know where the scratch came from. This morning the mom dropped the little boy off with a swollen top lip, and said he hit his teeth in the tub."
If Mom has seen the Dad hit the children, and is stating this, then she IS making excuses.
That aside, I am not going to get into a debate with you about this. I do not need you reprimanding me. I gave my personal and professional advice and I stand by it.
Your changing the subject to be about MY post instead of the OP's is irrelevant and steers away from the very IMPORTANT fact that she MUST call CPS.
Crystal 11:36 AM 11-29-2012
Originally Posted by lovemykidstoo:
The point is CPS needs to get involved because noone knows what's really going on. It is possible that the boy could have been hit by dad and the mom doesn't know. What if mom was at the store and came home and he had a bruise and the dad tells her that the other child head butted him? She may not have been a witness to it. Most definately just call CPS, that is their job to sort it all out.
Ugh.The point is CPS needs to get involved because noone knows what's really going on. It is possible that the boy could have been hit by dad and the mom doesn't know. What if mom was at the store and came home and he had a bruise and the dad tells her that the other child head butted him? She may not have been a witness to it. Most definately just call CPS, that is their job to sort it all out.
You are right. Mom may not have witnessed THIS incident. But there is no doubt in my mind that ANY mother does not know when her abusive husband is being abusive to her children.
The only reason I even mentioned in my original post is because I would not call Mom, but would call CPS.
Again, it isn't about that, really, but about the need for the OP to cal CPS.
lovemykidstoo 11:43 AM 11-29-2012
Originally Posted by Crystal:
Ugh.
You are right. Mom may not have witnessed THIS incident. But there is no doubt in my mind that ANY mother does not know when her abusive husband is being abusive to her children.
The only reason I even mentioned in my original post is because I would not call Mom, but would call CPS.
Again, it isn't about that, really, but about the need for the OP to cal CPS.
I think we're all in agreement of that for sure.Ugh.
You are right. Mom may not have witnessed THIS incident. But there is no doubt in my mind that ANY mother does not know when her abusive husband is being abusive to her children.
The only reason I even mentioned in my original post is because I would not call Mom, but would call CPS.
Again, it isn't about that, really, but about the need for the OP to cal CPS.
Willow 11:46 AM 11-29-2012
Originally Posted by Crystal:
If Mom has seen the Dad hit the children, and is stating this, then she IS making excuses.
Did I miss where it read mom has admitted she's seen dad hit the child???If Mom has seen the Dad hit the children, and is stating this, then she IS making excuses.
Willow 11:53 AM 11-29-2012
Originally Posted by Crystal:
Ugh.
But there is no doubt in my mind that ANY mother does not know when her abusive husband is being abusive to her children.
Holy ignorance and arrogance.........I'm sorry but I don't think I've ever disagreed with something I've read on the internet more than that right there......nor been more offended......Ugh.
But there is no doubt in my mind that ANY mother does not know when her abusive husband is being abusive to her children.
Abusers are usually incredibly good at hiding their ugly secrets. And victims, children especially, can be easily cajoled into never uttering a word about what they're enduring or even lying about it altogether.
Anyone that's ever been abused in life in any way knows this as fact.
JenNJ 11:59 AM 11-29-2012
Please take pictures. Document everything. Call CPS right this instant.
You are the link between a safe childhood and an abusive living hell. Stand strong because you are speaking for a child who cannot.
You are the link between a safe childhood and an abusive living hell. Stand strong because you are speaking for a child who cannot.
Crystal 02:21 PM 11-29-2012
Originally Posted by Willow:
Holy ignorance and arrogance.........I'm sorry but I don't think I've ever disagreed with something I've read on the internet more than that right there......nor been more offended......
Abusers are usually incredibly good at hiding their ugly secrets. And victims, children especially, can be easily cajoled into never uttering a word about what they're enduring or even lying about it altogether.
Anyone that's ever been abused in life in any way knows this as fact.
Moderators, I would appreciate some intervention here. This has gone totally off topic and the use of name calling and hurling insults is completely uncalled for.Holy ignorance and arrogance.........I'm sorry but I don't think I've ever disagreed with something I've read on the internet more than that right there......nor been more offended......
Abusers are usually incredibly good at hiding their ugly secrets. And victims, children especially, can be easily cajoled into never uttering a word about what they're enduring or even lying about it altogether.
Anyone that's ever been abused in life in any way knows this as fact.
Blackcat31 02:30 PM 11-29-2012
Originally Posted by Crystal:
Moderators, I would appreciate some intervention here. This has gone totally off topic and the use of name calling and hurling insults is completely uncalled for.
I have to agree with Crystal here.....this thread has gone far off topic and I think the OP has probably gotten the advice she needs. Moderators, I would appreciate some intervention here. This has gone totally off topic and the use of name calling and hurling insults is completely uncalled for.
Report it. Simple as that.
Anything else is just unnecessary banter and when it is directed at one person it becomes irrelavent to the topic.
sharlan 03:05 PM 11-29-2012
I have to agree with the person who said to take pics. With the way some people are, you never know who is going to turn it around on you.
bunnyslippers 03:17 PM 11-29-2012
This is obviously a topic that touches all of us, for whatever reason.
Let's remember that this forum is for support, and not to get angry with one another.
Domestic and child abuse are lyhot and sensitive subjects. I respect that each person on this forum is responding so vicerously to this thread because we all are caregivers by nature, and want safety for all the children we care for.
I hope we have helped the OP. Cheers to all of you for being so passionate. The children we all care for are lucky little doobies.
Let's remember that this forum is for support, and not to get angry with one another.
Domestic and child abuse are lyhot and sensitive subjects. I respect that each person on this forum is responding so vicerously to this thread because we all are caregivers by nature, and want safety for all the children we care for.
I hope we have helped the OP. Cheers to all of you for being so passionate. The children we all care for are lucky little doobies.