Daycare.com Forum

Go Back   Daycare.com Forum > Main Category > Daycare Center and Family Home Forum

Daycare Center and Family Home Forum Daycare Center and Family Home owners, Directors, Operators and Assistants should post and ask questions here.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 12-16-2014, 11:39 AM
permanentvacation's Avatar
permanentvacation permanentvacation is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Maryland
Posts: 2,456
Default Parents Won't Feed Their Child Enough

The parents of a baby I watch refuse to supply enough food for the baby. He is starving halfway through his next scheduled feeding. I've told his parents this a few times and they just fuss with me and demand me to keep the feeding schedule they gave me. But he cries for about 1 1/2 in between every feeding no matter what I do with him.

Last edited by permanentvacation; 12-16-2014 at 12:03 PM. Reason: shortened info
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 12-16-2014, 12:43 PM
Unregistered
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default

Unless they are doing this for the child's medical reasons, I would feed the child more and keep it on the down low, I would probably even buy additional food (I am guessing formula or baby food), so they wouldn't notice you going through what they are providing quicker. My husband would shoot that plan to hell, but that would be my first instinct. Or you could offer the child table food at meals too if they are old enough and not say anything.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 12-16-2014, 12:50 PM
KSDC's Avatar
KSDC KSDC is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Kansas
Posts: 376
Default

I would not be OK with this. I personally provide formula (and infant food when they are ready). But, if the parents are providing it, I would not accept the child in the morning unless they have provided enough for the child.

There is no reason for the baby to suffer through this. And, in group care, you cannot expect the children and the DC provider to have to listen to a hungry baby cry for extended periods. Not a good situation from any point of view.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 12-16-2014, 01:03 PM
permanentvacation's Avatar
permanentvacation permanentvacation is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Maryland
Posts: 2,456
Default

I've told both mom and dad a few times that they need to provide me more food/formula. They won't tell me what type of formula he is on, so I can't buy more formula. He won't drink plain water. I shouldn't have to spend my money (my rates are VERY low and I don't make much money as it is) on buying their child food when they are supposed to supply it. They have plenty of money, I just don't understand why they won't supply enough food. And I don't understand why they claim that the schedule they have him on works for him when, here, it clearly does not.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 12-16-2014, 01:05 PM
midaycare's Avatar
midaycare midaycare is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Midwest
Posts: 5,659
Default

I actually address this in my handbook - that for babies the parents must provide X amount extra each day.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 12-16-2014, 01:11 PM
Leigh's Avatar
Leigh Leigh is online now
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 3,664
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by permanentvacation View Post
The parents of a baby I watch refuse to supply enough food for the baby. He is starving halfway through his next scheduled feeding. I've told his parents this a few times and they just fuss with me and demand me to keep the feeding schedule they gave me. But he cries for about 1 1/2 in between every feeding no matter what I do with him.
Infants should be fed on demand, NOT on a schedule. I would not let them bully you. Tell them at pickup today that the child is hungry and that you will not accept him into care tomorrow unless there is enough for him to eat. Then follow through. There is no excuse for his parents to not provide enough food or formula for him.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 12-16-2014, 01:15 PM
permanentvacation's Avatar
permanentvacation permanentvacation is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Maryland
Posts: 2,456
Default

The parents claim it's enough food for him and don't understand why I claim it's not. I just don't understand why the feeding schedule they claim they have him on doesn't work for him here.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 12-16-2014, 01:20 PM
permanentvacation's Avatar
permanentvacation permanentvacation is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Maryland
Posts: 2,456
Default

I fully believe in feeding a baby on demand as well. Which is why I have told the parents a few times that he needs more food here. They simply refuse to provide it. I guess I will have to buy him some containers of food myself. They won't tell me what formula he's on. But I do know what type of food they buy him and which foods he's already tried. So I could buy him more baby food. The thing is that I shouldn't have to. I have demanded that they bring me more food. The parents get really irritated when I tell them they need to bring more food. I am actually at the point of being afraid of pushing it any more because I'm afraid I will lose the child simply because I want them to provide more food.
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 12-16-2014, 01:25 PM
Controlled Chaos's Avatar
Controlled Chaos Controlled Chaos is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,128
Default

He is probably more active and up more at daycare, it is a more stimulating environment. But it doesn't matter if that's the case or not. I would turn it around on them. If they say "I don't understand why he eats more here" reply with "I don't understand why you would risk your baby being hungry and why you don't trust the person you leave him with to tell you he his hungry. It breaks my heart to see him hungry. I will not accept him into care without ____oz of formula, for his sake". Then don't accept him without that much. You have to be firm.
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 12-16-2014, 03:37 PM
Laurel's Avatar
Laurel Laurel is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Florida
Posts: 3,148
Default

Or you could ask for a doctor's note confirming that the X number of ounces she brings for an X period of time is enough. I would also give him extra food and buy it even though you shouldn't have to. You could raise their rates but not tell them why. Just say the price of everything has gone up.

Just some suggestions.

Laurel
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 12-16-2014, 03:49 PM
daycare's Avatar
daycare daycare is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Moderator
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Mars
Posts: 16,021
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Laurel View Post
Or you could ask for a doctor's note confirming that the X number of ounces she brings for an X period of time is enough. I would also give him extra food and buy it even though you shouldn't have to. You could raise their rates but not tell them why. Just say the price of everything has gone up.

Just some suggestions.

Laurel
I would not be ok with this and tell them that unless there is a medical reason, then it is neglecting the child's needs. I would demand a doc note stating diagnosis before I would agree to anything.

What is wrong with these parents, this is silly.
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 12-16-2014, 04:05 PM
Laurel's Avatar
Laurel Laurel is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Florida
Posts: 3,148
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by daycare View Post
I would not be ok with this and tell them that unless there is a medical reason, then it is neglecting the child's needs. I would demand a doc note stating diagnosis before I would agree to anything.

What is wrong with these parents, this is silly.
Me too. I figure if they are asked to have the doctor confirm it then they probably won't but will just bring more food.

Laurel
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 12-16-2014, 04:08 PM
daycare's Avatar
daycare daycare is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Moderator
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Mars
Posts: 16,021
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Laurel View Post
Me too. I figure if they are asked to have the doctor confirm it then they probably won't but will just bring more food.

Laurel
lol...sorry I was trying to agree with you and realized that my post sounded wrong... Glad you got it.

youre dead on...

children at this age should be fed on demand. I would not over feed or under feed unless I was told to otherwise by a doctor.

Last edited by daycare; 12-16-2014 at 05:19 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 12-16-2014, 04:39 PM
KidGrind's Avatar
KidGrind KidGrind is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Red, White & Blue
Posts: 1,108
Default

Why are their wishes more important than the childís well being? I donít get it. You are willfully allowing yourself as a professional to be part of child neglect. If something goes wrong with this child it will equally fall on you.

I would speak to them and give them notice if they are unwilling to provide more food. Iíd equally make a call to CPS. Enough is enough. Recently I had a parent who wasnít giving me enough breast milk. I reminded her of our interview. I told her that if she is not producing enough, she has options.

1. Supplement the child with formula.
2. Quit her job and stay-at-home.

I told her I would not accept another drop off without enough milk. I told her to not feed this baby when he is hungry is equal to child neglect. I will not be an accomplish or take any part in not meeting a childís needs. This was at the end of the 2nd day the child was crying excessively. She chose #1.

It is 100% their child. It is 100% career suicide to go along with parentís inappropriate requests.
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 12-16-2014, 04:50 PM
Laurel's Avatar
Laurel Laurel is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Florida
Posts: 3,148
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by daycare View Post
lol...sorry I was trying to agree with you and realized that my post sounded wrong... Glad you got it.

youre dead on...

children at this age should be fed on demand. I would not over feed or under feed unless I was told to otherwise.
Oh okay

Laurel
Reply With Quote
  #16  
Old 12-16-2014, 05:10 PM
daycarediva's Avatar
daycarediva daycarediva is online now
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 11,195
Default

Change of contract for everyone for the new year.

Infants are fed on demand. A container of infant formula and 4 bottles will be required each Monday at drop off.

How many ounces is the baby eating? how often? can you look up the recommended ounces per age/weight and give Mom a printout that they are underfeeding? Or explain that daycare/during the day is more active and therefor, he/she is hungrier?

I can't imagine a parent saying 'don't feed my child'.

Depending on the age, I would be adding table foods the parents have already tried and/or advertising and replacing this family.
Reply With Quote
  #17  
Old 12-16-2014, 05:14 PM
Leigh's Avatar
Leigh Leigh is online now
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 3,664
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by KidGrind View Post
Why are their wishes more important than the childís well being? I donít get it. You are willfully allowing yourself as a professional to be part of child neglect. If something goes wrong with this child it will equally fall on you.

I would speak to them and give them notice if they are unwilling to provide more food. Iíd equally make a call to CPS. Enough is enough. Recently I had a parent who wasnít giving me enough breast milk. I reminded her of our interview. I told her that if she is not producing enough, she has options.

1. Supplement the child with formula.
2. Quit her job and stay-at-home.

I told her I would not accept another drop off without enough milk. I told her to not feed this baby when he is hungry is equal to child neglect. I will not be an accomplish or take any part in not meeting a childís needs. This was at the end of the 2nd day the child was crying excessively. She chose #1.

It is 100% their child. It is 100% career suicide to go along with parentís inappropriate requests.


I do the same. My contract has a space for BF babies. The parents sign an agreement to allow supplementation with formula if there is not enough breast milk. I require a 2-day supply minimum for breast fed babies to be on hand here at all times.
Reply With Quote
  #18  
Old 12-16-2014, 05:29 PM
permanentvacation's Avatar
permanentvacation permanentvacation is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Maryland
Posts: 2,456
Default

I have shown the parents what the Food Program recommends for the child's age. I have researched and told the parents how much of what foods he should eat at each meal. They just won't give me what I say he needs. They completely disagree with me and believe they are providing enough food. They keep acting like I don't know what I'm doing as far as knowing how to feed babies. They are losing their confidence in my ability to be the right daycare provider for their child. I've been a licensed daycare provider longer than either parent has been alive! I think I know my job and understand babies' cues by now. But the parents believe that they are right and I'm wrong.

I know they put him in his bedroom in his crib for naps and they say he takes longer naps then he does here. So I have told them a few times that since he's awake here more than at home, it makes sense that he's hungrier here more than at home. They don't care. They just want him to be fed according to the feeding schedule they have decided he should be on.

I 'require' that if the parent provides the formula, they give me a brand new can of formula that can stay here if I need to give the child an extra bottle. They used to do that until they changed formulas. Then they wanted their spare can of formula back and told me they changed his formula because he was spitting up so much. But they won't give me a new spare can of formula and won't tell me what type of formula he's on. So I can't sneak and buy him a can of formula for here.

I have argued with the parents about this so much that I really am afraid to tell them again that I believe he needs more food than they think he does out of fear of losing him. I only have 2 kids! I can't afford to lose half of my income.
Reply With Quote
  #19  
Old 12-16-2014, 05:32 PM
Cradle2crayons's Avatar
Cradle2crayons Cradle2crayons is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Deep in the woods....
Posts: 3,634
Default

I require CANS of formula. I do not allow parents to being already made bottles or powder in a ziplock.

You have a few options.
(1) refuse care until they bring more
(2) change policy to no pre made bottles. Blame the state. Say you now are making the bottles due to risk of contamination during transport. Require a can of powder and four empty bottles
(3) keep allowing and contributing to the neglect of this baby


My policy is also on demand. I make he bottles. Too much risk of bad formula, unknown storage conditions, medications being put into he bottles etc.

Why should the parents do what you ask when you keep doing what they want?
Reply With Quote
  #20  
Old 12-16-2014, 06:02 PM
Unregistered
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default

I understand you need the money but is it really worth the hassle? and maybe setting yourself up for contributing to child neglect. There is no reason for a parent to do that to their child. I would call your licensor and let them know what is going on and then give the family notice.
I have been in daycare for over 20 years and I have never had or heard of a parent doing this to a child.
Reply With Quote
  #21  
Old 12-16-2014, 06:17 PM
permanentvacation's Avatar
permanentvacation permanentvacation is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Maryland
Posts: 2,456
Default

After reading Cradle2Crayon's suggestion of 'blame it on the state', I remembered that next month, after the baby turns 8 months old, I will be required by the food program to provide his formula and food in order to claim him on the food program. So, I will tell his parents that. I only have 5 more days this month that I will be watching him due to my being closed and their scheduled days off.

So, I will 'blame it on the state', but it will be the truth. And we will see if he continues to come here next month. For breakfast, he's required to have cereal (which the parents don't give him now. They said his formula has cereal in it. But even so, I have to give him cereal separate from his bottle), fruit and/or veges, and his bottle - all at one sitting, not an hour apart from each other like they have him eating now. Lunch has to be his bottle, cereal, fruit and/or veges, and meat. Again, all at the same sitting. I don't know how his parents are going to react to this. I'm probably going to lose him over trying to feed him properly and whoever they get to watch him will feed him however they say to anyway. I'm probably just screwing myself here. But, according to the food program, that's what's required, so that's what I will tell the parents I have to do and we'll see what they do.

My handbook/contract is a yearly agreement. Which means that at the end of the calendar year, no matter when you hired me, it expires on December 31st each year. I am then able to make changes to the handbook/contract and change my rates, etc. So, I will make a change in it that I am required to provide all formula and baby food for the babies no matter what their age.


Daycarediva,

I have said to myself many times that I can't believe the parents are fussing at me for WANTING to feed their child! And that I can't believe I am afraid of losing a child because I want to feed him when he's hungry! I don't get it! I sit here and shake my head every day that the parents and I get into an argument about this.
Reply With Quote
  #22  
Old 12-16-2014, 06:26 PM
permanentvacation's Avatar
permanentvacation permanentvacation is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Maryland
Posts: 2,456
Default

Guest,

I've been a licensed provider for 25 years and NEVER had a parent fuss at me for feeding or wanting to feed their child either! I just don't understand this. And they have plenty of money!

I really think at home, he eats on the schedule they tell me, but here, for some reason, probably because there's more noise here and he doesn't take as long of naps here as they say he does at home. He's awake here more throughout the day, so he needs to eat more here. That makes perfect sense to me. And I have explained that to them a few times. But they just firmly believe he should eat according to the schedule they know of him needing at home.

I don't think they are trying to do wrong to their child. I think they don't understand why he would be on a different schedule here. The parents are really nice people and really love their baby.

I will try to remember to tell them tomorrow that I will have to start providing the food for him and let you guys know how that goes.
Reply With Quote
  #23  
Old 12-16-2014, 06:34 PM
permanentvacation's Avatar
permanentvacation permanentvacation is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Maryland
Posts: 2,456
Default

As far as a couple of you commenting on it being neglect, that's why I am posting about this here. Because it is wrong to make him cry for so long because he's hungry. When the parents realize that I have fed him every 3 hours instead of every 4, they fuss at me and I tell him that I can only let him cry for so long. I have to feed him when he's hungry. Then they are just mad at me. I seriously don't understand how parents can be mad at me when I tell them that the child was crying, I tried playing with him, changed his diaper, tried holding him, rocking him, tried to get him to go to sleep, but nothing made him stop crying, so I was sure it was out of being hungry, and when I gave him his bottle, he shook his hands and grabbed it like "Oh thank God my bottle!" and then sucked it all down in a matter of seconds! How does a parent get mad at me for feeding him after I explain that!?! I have tried to reason with the parents on my own and am now trying to get you guys' help on how to get the parents to provide more food or other ideas on how to fix this situation.
Reply With Quote
  #24  
Old 12-16-2014, 06:40 PM
craftymissbeth's Avatar
craftymissbeth craftymissbeth is offline
Legally Unlicensed
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Midwest
Posts: 2,367
Default

If your policy is to require a can of formula then why are you allowing them to break policy? Why are you accepting this child into care every day knowing that you don't have enough formula?

I would no longer accept premade bottles. This family sounds like the type to make bottles with not enough scoops of formula. You literally have no idea what is in this child's bottles and they refuse to tell you??? That sounds extremely fishy!!!
Reply With Quote
  #25  
Old 12-16-2014, 06:57 PM
permanentvacation's Avatar
permanentvacation permanentvacation is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Maryland
Posts: 2,456
Default

He had problems with throwing up and they tried a couple of brands of formula. This time, they found a formula that he doesn't get sick from, but whenever I ask what the name of it is, they just keep talking without answering my question.

They used to provide a can of formula here, but since they got on this one, they won't bring me a can. At first, I thought it was just because they didn't want to spend the money on an extra can if this formula didn't work like the other ones didn't. Which makes enough sense to me. They also used to provide extra food. And they used to be really lenient about his feeding schedule and agreed with me about feeding him when he seemed hungry. But when they started this formula, they stopped providing extra food and started demanding that I follow this feeding schedule.

But you are right, I don't know if they are preparing the bottles correctly.
Reply With Quote
  #26  
Old 12-16-2014, 06:58 PM
Imagination's Creations's Avatar
Imagination's Creations Imagination's Creations is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Illinois
Posts: 77
Default

Have you looked up the recommended ounces per feeding for the baby's age? How do you know he isnt just drinking more while in your care for comfort? If not then I would do what the others have suggested. You need to change something so they're either required to have back up formula or you dont watch him.
Reply With Quote
  #27  
Old 12-16-2014, 07:02 PM
craftymissbeth's Avatar
craftymissbeth craftymissbeth is offline
Legally Unlicensed
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Midwest
Posts: 2,367
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by permanentvacation View Post
He had problems with throwing up and they tried a couple of brands of formula. This time, they found a formula that he doesn't get sick from, but whenever I ask what the name of it is, they just keep talking without answering my question.

They used to provide a can of formula here, but since they got on this one, they won't bring me a can. At first, I thought it was just because they didn't want to spend the money on an extra can if this formula didn't work like the other ones didn't. Which makes enough sense to me. They also used to provide extra food. And they used to be really lenient about his feeding schedule and agreed with me about feeding him when he seemed hungry. But when they started this formula, they stopped providing extra food and started demanding that I follow this feeding schedule.

But you are right, I don't know if they are preparing the bottles correctly.
You didn't answer my questions

Why aren't YOU holding them to your policy of being required to provide a can?

Why are YOU accepting their child when they show up without a can?
Reply With Quote
  #28  
Old 12-16-2014, 07:02 PM
Heidi's Avatar
Heidi Heidi is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 6,837
Default

I guess I wonder why they even need every gory detail about what he eats there and when.

If your on the food program, and you're being reimbursed for his meals, then feed him. Cereal, veggies, fruit, and whatever formula they send. They provide formula, you provide the rest, right? That's how it goes here, anyway. So, he'd get more spoon foods than formula, maybe, but he certainly wouldn't go hungry.

At almost 8 months, he'd be on the same meal schedule here as everyone else, roughly every 3 hours. He'd be eating his food, followed by his formula (a little in a cup, then a bottle), while the other's ate their meal. At 8 months, he should also be able to start some easy-to-nibble crackers.
Reply With Quote
  #29  
Old 12-16-2014, 07:04 PM
craftymissbeth's Avatar
craftymissbeth craftymissbeth is offline
Legally Unlicensed
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Midwest
Posts: 2,367
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Imagination's Creations View Post
Have you looked up the recommended ounces per feeding for the baby's age? How do you know he isnt just drinking more while in your care for comfort? If not then I would do what the others have suggested. You need to change something so they're either required to have back up formula or you dont watch him.
What if he's so hungry because they don't make his bottles properly? I have a suspicion that he's now on a much more expensive formula for the spitting up and now they're cutting corners to save money. I would cut premade bottles.
Reply With Quote
  #30  
Old 12-16-2014, 07:06 PM
craftymissbeth's Avatar
craftymissbeth craftymissbeth is offline
Legally Unlicensed
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Midwest
Posts: 2,367
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Heidi View Post
I guess I wonder why they even need every gory detail about what he eats there and when.

If your on the food program, and you're being reimbursed for his meals, then feed him. Cereal, veggies, fruit, and whatever formula they send. They provide formula, you provide the rest, right? That's how it goes here, anyway. So, he'd get more spoon foods than formula, maybe, but he certainly wouldn't go hungry.

At almost 8 months, he'd be on the same meal schedule here as everyone else, roughly every 3 hours. He'd be eating his food, followed by his formula (a little in a cup, then a bottle), while the other's ate their meal. At 8 months, he should also be able to start some easy-to-nibble crackers.


I also wondered about the solid food. My program does not allow parents to provide ANY food. If they do i can't claim it

ETA: my 8 month olds typically only get 3 bottles a day at that point. Between 6-8 oz each.
Reply With Quote
  #31  
Old 12-16-2014, 07:08 PM
CraftyMom's Avatar
CraftyMom CraftyMom is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 2,277
Default

I may have missed it, but how much is he actually drinking and how many hours is he in your care? 7 months old?
Reply With Quote
  #32  
Old 12-16-2014, 07:09 PM
Imagination's Creations's Avatar
Imagination's Creations Imagination's Creations is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Illinois
Posts: 77
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Heidi View Post
I guess I wonder why they even need every gory detail about what he eats there and when.

If your on the food program, and you're being reimbursed for his meals, then feed him. Cereal, veggies, fruit, and whatever formula they send. They provide formula, you provide the rest, right? That's how it goes here, anyway. So, he'd get more spoon foods than formula, maybe, but he certainly wouldn't go hungry.

At almost 8 months, he'd be on the same meal schedule here as everyone else, roughly every 3 hours. He'd be eating his food, followed by his formula (a little in a cup, then a bottle), while the other's ate their meal. At 8 months, he should also be able to start some easy-to-nibble crackers.
True. If you're providing food program requirements, you're on the food program, right? If not, get on it! I have an 11 month old right now, who when was 8 months and still, had meals at the same times as the other kids and a bottle to follow. So, give him more food!
Reply With Quote
  #33  
Old 12-16-2014, 07:22 PM
permanentvacation's Avatar
permanentvacation permanentvacation is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Maryland
Posts: 2,456
Default

I am allowing them to break policy simply because I only have two kids and can't afford to lose half of my income. They provide what they, as his parents, believe is enough for him. And, they are right, at his age, he should be eating every 4 hours. But he should be eating more food at each meal.

Like I said earlier, if I kick them out, I'm sure the next person who watches him will feed him according to their schedule anyway. At least I know I know that I am defying the parents and often feeding him every 3 hours to keep him from being so hungry. But he really needs more food, such as cereal to fill him up. He probably also needs to be on the next 'stage' of food which would also fill him up more. And he needs to eat everything at once to fill him up at one sitting. I am also arguing with the parents about them not providing enough food for him and trying to get them to provide more. Some providers would just put him in a playpen in the other room and let him cry until his next scheduled feeding time. At least here, I know that I disagree with the parents, care enough to voice my opinion to them, care enough to defy their wishes as much as I can for the time being, and am looking into how to change his feeding schedule and/or the amount/types of food at each feeding to what I believe the baby needs rather than what the parents want him to be on even though they are not here during the day to see that he truly is hungrier than they think he should be.

By him staying here, I am 'in his corner' and am actively working to get him what he needs. If he goes somewhere else, they might not do that for him.
Reply With Quote
  #34  
Old 12-16-2014, 07:26 PM
Cradle2crayons's Avatar
Cradle2crayons Cradle2crayons is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Deep in the woods....
Posts: 3,634
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by craftymissbeth View Post
What if he's so hungry because they don't make his bottles properly? I have a suspicion that he's now on a much more expensive formula for the spitting up and now they're cutting corners to save money. I would cut premade bottles.
Amen. I refuse to care for a child if I don't even know what kind of formula they are drinking. I'm sorry but that terrifies me.

If I have a drop in baby, I ask the parents to bring me their can of formula and I return it at pick up.

I would be terrified To give a baby a pre made bottle. Call me paranoid but I could tell you some STORIES after working in pediatric nursing and the ER all these years.

Why do you need to wait until he end of the year to change a policy? I only do contracts once a year, but if I need to change a policy, that takes me five minutes to type it up. Why allow this to continue even another day??

What happens if the child has an emergency and the paramedics ask what formula the child drinks??

Gosh, so many red flags are going off in my head right now.

Why are you allowing a family to dictate what you KNOW is wrong?
Reply With Quote
  #35  
Old 12-16-2014, 07:30 PM
craftymissbeth's Avatar
craftymissbeth craftymissbeth is offline
Legally Unlicensed
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Midwest
Posts: 2,367
Default

PV, you know I'm always in your corner, but girl you are letting money and income get in the way of doing what's right for this child. It doesn't matter if he's half your income... You feed an infant if you know they're still hungry. If you aren't going to DEMAND they provide it then you better be providing it.
Reply With Quote
  #36  
Old 12-16-2014, 07:35 PM
permanentvacation's Avatar
permanentvacation permanentvacation is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Maryland
Posts: 2,456
Default

Here, according to the food program, the parent can provide everything up until 8 months old. The food program says that until 8 months old, it is only required that he has formula only all day long. But it suggests cereal with the formula for breakfast and for lunch, cereal and fruit or veges for lunch. But since nothing but formula is required until 8 months old, the parent can provide it and I can still claim him on the food program. I did offer to provide the formula, baby food, and diapers, but the parents said they would. I figured it was just because they wanted to make sure what he drank/ate and what type of diaper and how many diapers he used.

I didn't quite understand what one had to do with the other, but my food program monitor said that we can get reimbursed for the formula even though the parents provide it because the parents who breast feed or the providers of breast fed babies complained that if they couldn't get reimbursed because the parent breast fed, that's discrimination. I don't know. I just said, 'Okay' and left it at that.

But once the child is 8 months old, since the food is required, the provider must provide the food. So, for right now, I can allow the parents to provide everything for their child. But he turns 8 months old the end of the month. So beginning next month, I will be required to provide his food and be required to feed him according to the food program's requirements. I don't think his parents will like that. But we'll see.
Reply With Quote
  #37  
Old 12-16-2014, 07:42 PM
permanentvacation's Avatar
permanentvacation permanentvacation is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Maryland
Posts: 2,456
Default

The father is a police man. They are not sketchy parents. But now you guys do have me wondering if they are cutting the amount of formula in the bottle. When he gets to crying too much, I do feed him in 3 hours so he doesn't go hungry too long. So, he's not actually being neglected and starving to death. I do have enough food and bottles to feed him every 3 hours. The max he's here is 7 1/2 hours. He just needs more food so he is truly full and able to go the 4 hours he should be going between eating.
Reply With Quote
  #38  
Old 12-16-2014, 07:43 PM
craftymissbeth's Avatar
craftymissbeth craftymissbeth is offline
Legally Unlicensed
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Midwest
Posts: 2,367
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by permanentvacation View Post
Here, according to the food program, the parent can provide everything up until 8 months old. The food program says that until 8 months old, it is only required that he has formula only all day long. But it suggests cereal with the formula for breakfast and for lunch, cereal and fruit or veges for lunch. But since nothing but formula is required until 8 months old, the parent can provide it and I can still claim him on the food program. I did offer to provide the formula, baby food, and diapers, but the parents said they would. I figured it was just because they wanted to make sure what he drank/ate and what type of diaper and how many diapers he used.

I didn't quite understand what one had to do with the other, but my food program monitor said that we can get reimbursed for the formula even though the parents provide it because the parents who breast feed or the providers of breast fed babies complained that if they couldn't get reimbursed because the parent breast fed, that's discrimination. I don't know. I just said, 'Okay' and left it at that.

But once the child is 8 months old, since the food is required, the provider must provide the food. So, for right now, I can allow the parents to provide everything for their child. But he turns 8 months old the end of the month. So beginning next month, I will be required to provide his food and be required to feed him according to the food program's requirements. I don't think his parents will like that. But we'll see.
Ok... But what about from now until you're closed?? He just gets to be hungry until he turns 8 months??
Reply With Quote
  #39  
Old 12-16-2014, 07:46 PM
Cradle2crayons's Avatar
Cradle2crayons Cradle2crayons is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Deep in the woods....
Posts: 3,634
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by permanentvacation View Post
The father is a police man. They are not sketchy parents. But now you guys do have me wondering if they are cutting the amount of formula in the bottle. When he gets to crying too much, I do feed him in 3 hours so he doesn't go hungry too long. So, he's not actually being neglected and starving to death. I do have enough food and bottles to feed him every 3 hours. The max he's here is 7 1/2 hours. He just needs more food so he is truly full and able to go the 4 hours he should be going between eating.
How many ounces is he eating every 3 hours... Or how much/many ounces are the parents bringing every day
Reply With Quote
  #40  
Old 12-16-2014, 08:04 PM
permanentvacation's Avatar
permanentvacation permanentvacation is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Maryland
Posts: 2,456
Default

He gets one bottle (although I don't know how many ounces) at home at 7 am. He arrives at daycare at 8:15. He gets a container of fruit at 8:30. Then his 8 oz. bottle at 9:30. Then the parents don't want him to eat until 12:30 (4 hours from the time he had his fruit). But he's hungry at 10. I usually hold him off until 10:30. And give him a bottle at 10:30 and then he eats his veges at 11:00 (if he's picked up at 11:30 that day). If he's not picked up til 3:30, I hold him off until 11:30 and feed him his veges at 11:30. He's then hungry at 1:30, but I hold him off until 2:00 and give him his snack bottle at 2.

He's eating constantly throughout the day, but he's only eating/drinking one thing at a time which is not enough to fill him up. And I really think he needs cereal with his breakfast and maybe also his lunch as well as probably needs the next stage of food.

I have to take my daughter to the doctor's tomorrow. I will stop and buy him some food tomorrow. I will also tell his parents about me being required to provide the food and feed him according to the food program's requirements tomorrow and see how they react.
Reply With Quote
  #41  
Old 12-16-2014, 08:06 PM
craftymissbeth's Avatar
craftymissbeth craftymissbeth is offline
Legally Unlicensed
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Midwest
Posts: 2,367
Default

How many ounces are bottles that they send to you?
Reply With Quote
  #42  
Old 12-16-2014, 08:09 PM
permanentvacation's Avatar
permanentvacation permanentvacation is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Maryland
Posts: 2,456
Default

The way he eats here is simply crazy. I feel like I am feeding him every time I turn around. But since he only eats one thing at a time, he's hungry constantly. Now that I wrote down his feeding routine here, I see how abnormal his feeding routine is. He really isn't even going every 3 hours.

I don't understand how they say he only eats every 4 hours.
Reply With Quote
  #43  
Old 12-16-2014, 08:18 PM
permanentvacation's Avatar
permanentvacation permanentvacation is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Maryland
Posts: 2,456
Default

When he's here 8 am until 11:30/12, I get 2 bottles of 8 ounces each and a container of fruit and a container of veges. Which should be plenty for being here only 3 1/2 -4 hours. But they only expect him to eat one bottle and one container of food. They really only expect him to eat breakfast - 1 bottle and one container of food during that time. But he needs his breakfast and lunch (everything they send) during that time. I think if he had his bottle, cereal, and fruit all at one sitting, he could hold off and not need to eat lunch until they get home.

When he's here 8 - 3:30, he gets 3 bottles of 8 oz each, a container of fruit and a container of veges. They expect him to eat breakfast of 1 bottle and fruit, lunch of 1 bottle and veges, and snack of 1 bottle. But the child needs more.

He's 2 weeks away from being 8 months old.

I believe the food is just not filling him up. I think he needs more consistency in his food such as cereal and the next stage in food.
Reply With Quote
  #44  
Old 12-16-2014, 08:28 PM
permanentvacation's Avatar
permanentvacation permanentvacation is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Maryland
Posts: 2,456
Default

I just added that I require that I provide all of the formula and baby food for the babies into my contract. I stated that the formula and cereal must be iron-fortified as required by the food program.
Reply With Quote
  #45  
Old 12-16-2014, 08:36 PM
CraftyMom's Avatar
CraftyMom CraftyMom is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 2,277
Default

I have an almost 8 month old and he eats less than that. Every baby is different of course.

It is quite likely like the others said, that they aren't mixing the bottles correctly. So he is getting mostly water and hungry faster. Or they are going by a standard "how much your baby should be eating" schedule.

I think your best bet is to buy a box of rice cereal and give him that along with his fruits and veggies. That should fill him up a bit more. Have they given him meats yet? That would also help him stay full.
Reply With Quote
  #46  
Old 12-16-2014, 08:50 PM
permanentvacation's Avatar
permanentvacation permanentvacation is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Maryland
Posts: 2,456
Default

No, they haven't given him meats yet. I am required to give him meat with his lunch next month. They also are not giving him cereal which I am required to give him for breakfast next month. I am also required to give him either cereal or a double serving of meat for lunch next month.

I really don't think the parents are going to go along with the food program requirements. I think I am going to lose him over this.

His father just got a promotion and might have his work hours changed and the mother is trying to change her work hours so they don't have to use daycare soon anyway. I think me fussing over his feeding schedule will probably push them over the edge and they will make sure not to need daycare.
Reply With Quote
  #47  
Old 12-16-2014, 09:27 PM
Cradle2crayons's Avatar
Cradle2crayons Cradle2crayons is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Deep in the woods....
Posts: 3,634
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by permanentvacation View Post
He gets one bottle (although I don't know how many ounces) at home at 7 am. He arrives at daycare at 8:15. He gets a container of fruit at 8:30. Then his 8 oz. bottle at 9:30. Then the parents don't want him to eat until 12:30 (4 hours from the time he had his fruit). But he's hungry at 10. I usually hold him off until 10:30. And give him a bottle at 10:30 and then he eats his veges at 11:00 (if he's picked up at 11:30 that day). If he's not picked up til 3:30, I hold him off until 11:30 and feed him his veges at 11:30. He's then hungry at 1:30, but I hold him off until 2:00 and give him his snack bottle at 2.

I'm confused. He gets a bottle before daycare. Then gets another bottle at 9:30 and then another bottle at 10:30 and then another bottle at 2:00... With baby food at 8:30, baby food at 11:30... Good gracious that is an aweful LOTTTTT OF FOOD. His tummy never gets to get empty. I'm thinking now the child is crying because his stomach hurts... Yikes... How many ounces of baby food per feeding is he getting??
He's eating constantly throughout the day, but he's only eating/drinking one thing at a time which is not enough to fill him up. And I really think he needs cereal with his breakfast and maybe also his lunch as well as probably needs the next stage of food.

I have to take my daughter to the doctor's tomorrow. I will stop and buy him some food tomorrow. I will also tell his parents about me being required to provide the food and feed him according to the food program's requirements tomorrow and see how they react.
I answered in bold this doesn't sound like under feeding. At all

But regardless I don't allow parents to send pre made bottles or REFUSE to send formula when I request it.

Food program demanding a double serving of meat at lunch at 8 months??
Reply With Quote
  #48  
Old 12-17-2014, 05:30 AM
Baby Beluga's Avatar
Baby Beluga Baby Beluga is online now
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 3,235
Default

It sounds like he has reflux. That much food combined with having reflux must be painful. What are his bm's like? Is he a gassy baby?
Reply With Quote
  #49  
Old 12-17-2014, 06:01 AM
LysesKids's Avatar
LysesKids LysesKids is online now
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 2,737
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cradle2crayons View Post
Amen. I refuse to care for a child if I don't even know what kind of formula they are drinking. I'm sorry but that terrifies me.

If I have a drop in baby, I ask the parents to bring me their can of formula and I return it at pick up.

I would be terrified To give a baby a pre made bottle. Call me paranoid but I could tell you some STORIES after working in pediatric nursing and the ER all these years.

Why do you need to wait until he end of the year to change a policy? I only do contracts once a year, but if I need to change a policy, that takes me five minutes to type it up. Why allow this to continue even another day??

What happens if the child has an emergency and the paramedics ask what formula the child drinks??

Gosh, so many red flags are going off in my head right now.

Why are you allowing a family to dictate what you KNOW is wrong?
THIS!!!! I allow only unopened cans because I use to have WIC moms water down their pre-made bottles; If a parent won't play by my rules then tough, go somewhere else... I understand being low on #'s, but Permanent needs to step up & boot them before she loses her license for adding to the neglect. I am very strict on certain things, I am not however, sorry at anytime if they don't like the rules because this is MY BUSINESS.
Reply With Quote
  #50  
Old 12-17-2014, 06:15 AM
craftymissbeth's Avatar
craftymissbeth craftymissbeth is offline
Legally Unlicensed
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Midwest
Posts: 2,367
Default

You may have already mentioned this but how long has the crying been going on? Are you positive this isn't just the notorious 7/8 month unhappy separation anxiety thing? 7/8 months is a super tough age, imo
Reply With Quote
  #51  
Old 12-17-2014, 06:17 AM
LysesKids's Avatar
LysesKids LysesKids is online now
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 2,737
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by permanentvacation View Post
No, they haven't given him meats yet. I am required to give him meat with his lunch next month. They also are not giving him cereal which I am required to give him for breakfast next month. I am also required to give him either cereal or a double serving of meat for lunch next month.

I really don't think the parents are going to go along with the food program requirements. I think I am going to lose him over this.

His father just got a promotion and might have his work hours changed and the mother is trying to change her work hours so they don't have to use daycare soon anyway. I think me fussing over his feeding schedule will probably push them over the edge and they will make sure not to need daycare.
Honey, just boot them now for crying out loud... I know you need the $$, but something like this is ridiculous to put up with for so long. If they don't like the food program policies tough... this is your business and the food program is Federal, so tell them to take it up with the government if they don't like the rules.

I have one mom, who when she first started, bitched that she wanted to provide her babies food because she was afraid he would like my homemade better and then wouldn't eat for her at home; I squashed that quickly and guess what, I still have her child in care. I also told them if they don't like the food program rules for times between feedings (and the times I set for snacks/meals) to take it up with the Agency that had the food program contract for my area.
Reply With Quote
  #52  
Old 12-17-2014, 06:27 AM
Leigh's Avatar
Leigh Leigh is online now
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 3,664
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by CraftyMom View Post
I have an almost 8 month old and he eats less than that. Every baby is different of course.

It is quite likely like the others said, that they aren't mixing the bottles correctly. So he is getting mostly water and hungry faster. Or they are going by a standard "how much your baby should be eating" schedule.

I think your best bet is to buy a box of rice cereal and give him that along with his fruits and veggies. That should fill him up a bit more. Have they given him meats yet? That would also help him stay full.
This is what I would do, too. Cereal is super cheap, and I would mix it with the fruits or veggies to fill him up. This would probably allow you to feed him on their stupid "schedule" and keep him happy.
Reply With Quote
  #53  
Old 12-17-2014, 06:35 AM
Blackcat31's Avatar
Blackcat31 Blackcat31 is offline
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 16,616
Default

I'm sorry but this is ridiculous.

Tell the parents he needs xx amount of bottles per day. PERIOD.

If they do not bring the required amount of bottles, refuse care.

I know you said you can't afford to let this family go but seriously, can this child afford to be deprived of food because you don't want to risk losing the income??

PV, I am not trying to be rude to you and I am certainly not making light of your financial situation but your finances have NO bearing on a child's right to eat a HEALTHY and NECESSARY meal.

If the parents refuse, it is your obligation and moral duty to report them to CPS as this IS neglect.

I don't care how many ways you slice it or reshuffle the situation.
The child is hungry. His parents aren't providing him with enough food.

It should NOT be this complicated.
Reply With Quote
  #54  
Old 12-17-2014, 06:47 AM
Crazy8's Avatar
Crazy8 Crazy8 is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 2,767
Default

the amount of food they are providing for a day is more than my 11 month old eats so I would not say they are starving/neglecting him by any means with what they provide but I understand he is just hungrier when at your home. Honestly, I would just start giving the food/bottle together if you feel that would rectify the situation. If he is only with you from 8-11:30 and had a feeding at 7am you really should only have to feed him once - about 9:30-10am I would give him the food and the bottle. If they don't want you using that 2nd bottle on those days they will see he is hungry when they get home. But a child 7 month old should be able to go more than 2 hours without eating, if he can't I am not sure the crying is because of hunger.

And since you will be getting paid to provide meals for him starting next month I would just give the parents the food program info and then feed him what you are required to (although I really disagree with what your food program requires for an 8 month old!).
Reply With Quote
  #55  
Old 12-17-2014, 06:51 AM
NeedaVaca's Avatar
NeedaVaca NeedaVaca is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: The Middle
Posts: 2,238
Default

That really is a lot of food! I would start looking at other reasons for his crying.
Reply With Quote
  #56  
Old 12-17-2014, 07:02 AM
craftymissbeth's Avatar
craftymissbeth craftymissbeth is offline
Legally Unlicensed
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Midwest
Posts: 2,367
Default

I'm interested in the cereal OR double meat at lunch. I know each sponsor has their own rules, but I was under the impression that the meal patterns are not up for interpretation between different sponsors. As far as the meal pattern it should be the same across the country.

Here are the infant meal patterns directly from the USDA website:

http://www.fns.usda.gov/sites/defaul...fant_Meals.pdf

ETA: are you sure you aren't confusing the meal pattern for lunch? You can serve cereal OR meat at lunch. But the cereal at breakfast is required.
Reply With Quote
  #57  
Old 12-17-2014, 07:56 AM
Heidi's Avatar
Heidi Heidi is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 6,837
Default

I would add a little cereal to his fruit and veggies. I'd also put him on the same eating schedule as the rest of your group. Every 3 hours. I can't even wait more than that for a meal before my stomach is growling.

Mine all get some sort of breakfast at home, then have breakfast here at 8:45, and lunch at 11:45, and snack after nap, usually 3:15-3:30 or so. Baby is on roughly the same schedule, but he only drinks bm/formula, and some days, he changes things up. This baby is only 12 weeks old, though, not 8 months.

Infants that age, I spoon feed their meals (fruit or veggie with cereal), give them sips from a cup in between bites, and then give them the rest of their formula in a bottle. For snack, I'd give him a cracker or two, and then his bottle. He's almost old enough to start transitioning to a cup.

I would NOT discuss gory details with parents. I would just say "hey, you guys don't have to bring food anymore, just formula, I've got it from here. If they ask why, say "well, it's just so inconvenient for you, and in a couple weeks, I have to do it anyway per my regs, so lets just save ourselves the trouble".
Reply With Quote
  #58  
Old 12-17-2014, 09:06 AM
permanentvacation's Avatar
permanentvacation permanentvacation is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Maryland
Posts: 2,456
Default

They are sending what should be enough food for some babies his age. But it is all liquid - bottles of formula and stage 2 food which is basically liquid. It doesn't fill him up. So he eats constantly but never really feels full, so every couple of hours, hes hungry again. Every baby is different. This amount and type of food might fill up another baby, but it doesn't fill him up.

It's nothing other than being hungry. He's a very happy baby as long as his belly is full and his diaper is clean. When he starts crying like he's hungry, I change his diaper, try playing with him, moving him to different areas, everything. The only thing he wants is either food or a bottle - something to fill his belly. As soon as he eats/drinks, he's happy again for a while.

I talked to his mother this morning. I told her - basically every thing I have told her a few times already, but this time I did start out telling her that next month, because of the food program rules, I have to provide all the formula and food and he will have to eat according to the food program requirements. I told her how he eats his fruit and then a bottle here within an hour or so of being here even though he had a bottle before he left is house, so within 2 hours, he has 2 bottles and fruit. I told her I really believe he needs cereal in the morning. She did say a couple of times that she doesn't understand why his feeding schedule is different at home than here. I told her I think he's awake more here. I am lucky if he will sleep a full hour for nap here. She said that he slept for 3 hours straight when the dad took him home yesterday. I asked where he sleeps for nap at home. She said in his room with the door closed and when grand mom babysits him, she puts him in a room with the door closed so he sleeps for about 3 hours there as well. I told her that here he has to sleep on the main floor with the other child making noise playing, me talking, the phone ringing, and the dog barking and that he might maybe sleep about an hour here. So that's most likely why he needs to eat more here than at home. Simply because he's awake more here. She finally seemed to understand and agree that what I said makes sense. She said she will bring me a box of cereal for him tomorrow. And when I told her about the changes for next month, she simply said 'okay'. I really expected a debate. But she just said okay. So, hopefully she'll bring the cereal tomorrow and things will be better.
Reply With Quote
  #59  
Old 12-17-2014, 09:12 AM
permanentvacation's Avatar
permanentvacation permanentvacation is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Maryland
Posts: 2,456
Default

In the food program calendar, there's a chart of what we have to feed them. It says for lunch/dinner; breast milk or formula, cereal and/or meat, fruit or vegetable or both, and meat. So if we don't give them cereal, then they have to have double meat.
Reply With Quote
  #60  
Old 12-17-2014, 09:29 AM
permanentvacation's Avatar
permanentvacation permanentvacation is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Maryland
Posts: 2,456
Default

I didn't want to sneak and feed him cereal because the cereal will make his poop harder and I didn't want the parents to get worried about that.

He used to have reflux until they found this formula that he doesn't spit up. Now, he eats just fine and keeps everything down. It's just that the food they give him doesn't have any consistency, so he doesn't feel full. He's not gassy. He's hungry. As soon as I give him another bottle or feed him another container of food, he's happy. But just for a short while. So, they either need to give me more of this liquidy food or give me cereal and the next stage of food so he has something more substantial in his belly to make him feel full.

His mom said she'll bring cereal tomorrow. I'm closed tomorrow. So I will have to see what she does Friday. I think I'll buy some tonight just in case she forgets. Hopefully he will be better if I can get some cereal into him.

She said she has been feeding him stage 3 meats and stage 2 fruits/veges at home. She's just sending me the stage 2 foods to 'finish them up'. So, she should know that stage 2 isn't going to fill him up. She also said that she feeds him some people food like chicken, pancakes, etc. So I'm sitting here wondering if she knows he wants people food, why would she have him eating only liquid-type foods here?

Basically, she said she is feeding him more filling and substantial food at home, but sending me the liquid stuff that she knows is not filling enough for him!! But then fussing at me when I use all the food they send. So I'm like "uggh really!?!?"
So when she said that, I realized that she's just trying not to waste the money she spent on the food that he really no longer needs. But, if that's the case, she should give him some of the more substantial food and use the stage 2 as a snack or part of the meal including the stage 3 foods.

I am definitely not allowing parents to provide the formula or food for the babies again!

Last edited by permanentvacation; 12-17-2014 at 09:31 AM. Reason: Bolded text to emphasis what's really going on
Reply With Quote
  #61  
Old 12-17-2014, 09:47 AM
dlbtgb dlbtgb is offline
New Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: NW of Pittsburgh PA
Posts: 1
Default feed too little

We had the exact same issue. He was 8 months and into a size 12-18 mo clothing so he was a BIG boy. She had him on a VERY rigid schedule and would flip out if it was 10 min early even! She had breast milk only and not enough. She wanted us to even cut his afternoon 5 oz bottle in half as he was throwing it up. She thought he was getting too much food. Several things happened at once and I'm not sure what made her start to feed him real food on demand. 1. I told her we had to have a drs permission to feed him less as he was already eating less than others his age let alone his size, 2. She went to her MIL's for dinner and asked if she could have a snack. MIL said no way...not even 10 min early! and 3, she went to the Dr. I think he told her that she had to feed this baby. He went from a constant screamer to a very pleasant child--he's not overweight but just a big tall boy.
Reply With Quote
  #62  
Old 12-17-2014, 10:13 AM
CraftyMom's Avatar
CraftyMom CraftyMom is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 2,277
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by permanentvacation View Post
I didn't want to sneak and feed him cereal because the cereal will make his poop harder and I didn't want the parents to get worried about that.

He used to have reflux until they found this formula that he doesn't spit up. Now, he eats just fine and keeps everything down. It's just that the food they give him doesn't have any consistency, so he doesn't feel full. He's not gassy. He's hungry. As soon as I give him another bottle or feed him another container of food, he's happy. But just for a short while. So, they either need to give me more of this liquidy food or give me cereal and the next stage of food so he has something more substantial in his belly to make him feel full.

His mom said she'll bring cereal tomorrow. I'm closed tomorrow. So I will have to see what she does Friday. I think I'll buy some tonight just in case she forgets. Hopefully he will be better if I can get some cereal into him.

She said she has been feeding him stage 3 meats and stage 2 fruits/veges at home. She's just sending me the stage 2 foods to 'finish them up'. So, she should know that stage 2 isn't going to fill him up. She also said that she feeds him some people food like chicken, pancakes, etc. So I'm sitting here wondering if she knows he wants people food, why would she have him eating only liquid-type foods here?

Basically, she said she is feeding him more filling and substantial food at home, but sending me the liquid stuff that she knows is not filling enough for him!! But then fussing at me when I use all the food they send. So I'm like "uggh really!?!?"
So when she said that, I realized that she's just trying not to waste the money she spent on the food that he really no longer needs. But, if that's the case, she should give him some of the more substantial food and use the stage 2 as a snack or part of the meal including the stage 3 foods.

I am definitely not allowing parents to provide the formula or food for the babies again!
Ugh! If they communicated that to you when you spoke to them it would have made it more understandable!

I was also thinking, perhaps it isn't that they don't give him cereal? Perhaps they give it to him at home and just don't send it to daycare? Didn't they start with cereal? Or did they go straight to fruits and veggies?

I have a 6 month old that eats his cereal at home in the morning, so they don't send any here.
Reply With Quote
  #63  
Old 12-17-2014, 10:20 AM
Annalee's Avatar
Annalee Annalee is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 4,154
Default

I have my clients bring a can of powder formula....I do not allow pre-made bottles and I supply the cereal/baby food per USDA guidelines....Works much better....
Reply With Quote
  #64  
Old 12-17-2014, 10:26 AM
permanentvacation's Avatar
permanentvacation permanentvacation is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Maryland
Posts: 2,456
Default

They used to give him cereal, but the formula he's on now is supposed to have cereal in it, they said. So they refused to let me give him cereal. All they tell me he has in the morning before coming here is his bottle and just expect me to give him his fruit.

But now I understand why he's so hungry. She's going to give me cereal. Now that I know he's been eating stage 3 foods at home, I will also buy some stage 3's for here and give him maybe 1/2 of the stage 3 along with his stage 2 until we 'finish up the stage 2's'.

I just can't get over the fact that she knew he's been eating stage 3 and people food and only gave me stage 2 which she knows isn't enough for him! I'm just like really, so she is knowingly putting him and me through him having to be hungry and crying!?!? And then fussing at me for telling you he's hungry when she knows she's not giving me the type of food he needs!?!?! WOW! Just WOW!
Reply With Quote
  #65  
Old 12-17-2014, 10:29 AM
permanentvacation's Avatar
permanentvacation permanentvacation is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Maryland
Posts: 2,456
Default

I told the parents on the interview that I would provide the formula and food. They said they would rather provide it. If they provide it, then I require a can of formula to stay here in case I need extra. They did provide it until he changed formulas. Then, I think just so they didn't waste money in case this formula didn't work, they didn't bring me a new can of formula.

I think, well, hope, everything is figured out now.
Reply With Quote
  #66  
Old 12-17-2014, 10:33 AM
daycarediva's Avatar
daycarediva daycarediva is online now
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 11,195
Default

It sounds like he isn't eating breakfast at home. Are you SURE they're giving him the bottle when they say?


Does the formula look thin? Are they cutting it?

What table foods does he eat? One of my own kids was a CHUNK and at 8m was eating pretty much everything in finger food form. He hated pureed food, and was on all sippy cups of BM. He ate WAY more than the same aged baby I watched at the time. He would reach OVER his tray to grab at food on her tray.

I would give him a bottle at breakfast, his fruit, cereal and some finger food/tray items.

For an AM snack, I would give him a sippy cup of water, with some finger foods.

For lunch, I would give him a bottle, his vegetables, cereal and some finger foods.
Reply With Quote
  #67  
Old 12-17-2014, 10:50 AM
renodeb's Avatar
renodeb renodeb is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Reno, Nv
Posts: 837
Default

How old is this child? That is a hard situation. I would definitely have an issue. It's funny, my dc parents are always worried that there babies are gonna run out. To be honest, if this keeps up it may be grounds for dismissal! My dc kids all eat more in dc.
Reply With Quote
  #68  
Old 12-17-2014, 11:00 AM
permanentvacation's Avatar
permanentvacation permanentvacation is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Maryland
Posts: 2,456
Default

I am so livid right now! I keep walking around talking out loud saying, 'I can't believe that they feed him stage 3 and people food at home yet send me runny, non-filling stage 2 and then fuss at me when I use all the food and tell them that he needs more food! They KNOW he needed more food!"

I'm just so mad right now! That poor baby has been crying out of hunger and I have had to listen to him cry for a couple of weeks now, the whole time with me arguing with his parents demanding more food for the child just to find out in the end that they KNEW they were not providing the correct food for him!!! UGGGHHH!!!

Now I am really thinking about terminating him. But, I only have two kids. I have no business terminating anyone! I did just place an ad to work on replacing him though. I can't believe they did this to him and me. Just to save a few bucks on the baby food they already bought before he moved up to stage 3. Trust me, they have plenty of money. I don't think it would bankrupt them to not 'use up' the stage 2 they bought.
Reply With Quote
  #69  
Old 12-17-2014, 11:02 AM
permanentvacation's Avatar
permanentvacation permanentvacation is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Maryland
Posts: 2,456
Default

He's 7 1/2 months old. I believe they are giving him a bottle in the morning. But I don't know if they are cutting it or not.

Apparently he eats almost every type of people food. She mentioned chicken, mac and cheese and pancakes and said he eats pretty much anything. But she only sends me liquidy stage 2 foods!
Reply With Quote
  #70  
Old 12-17-2014, 11:04 AM
Annalee's Avatar
Annalee Annalee is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 4,154
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by permanentvacation View Post
I am so livid right now! I keep walking around talking out loud saying, 'I can't believe that they feed him stage 3 and people food at home yet send me runny, non-filling stage 2 and then fuss at me when I use all the food and tell them that he needs more food! They KNOW he needed more food!"

I'm just so mad right now! That poor baby has been crying out of hunger and I have had to listen to him cry for a couple of weeks now, the whole time with me arguing with his parents demanding more food for the child just to find out in the end that they KNEW they were not providing the correct food for him!!! UGGGHHH!!!

Now I am really thinking about terminating him. But, I only have two kids. I have no business terminating anyone! I did just place an ad to work on replacing him though. I can't believe they did this to him and me. Just to save a few bucks on the baby food they already bought before he moved up to stage 3. Trust me, they have plenty of money. I don't think it would bankrupt them to not 'use up' the stage 2 they bought.
The only way you are going to fix it is to term them or DEMAND what you need or REFUSE CARE till you get it!
Reply With Quote
  #71  
Old 12-17-2014, 11:07 AM
daycarediva's Avatar
daycarediva daycarediva is online now
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 11,195
Default

If that's the case and he eats everything I would absolutely just feed him what the other kids are eating, diced up and then the bottles they send until I could term.
Reply With Quote
  #72  
Old 12-17-2014, 11:28 AM
permanentvacation's Avatar
permanentvacation permanentvacation is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Maryland
Posts: 2,456
Default

I don't want to feed him anything I'm not legally allowed to feed him at his age just in case he chokes on something. But I will get him some stage 3 foods and cereal and work on replacing him.
Reply With Quote
  #73  
Old 12-17-2014, 11:31 AM
craftymissbeth's Avatar
craftymissbeth craftymissbeth is offline
Legally Unlicensed
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Midwest
Posts: 2,367
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by permanentvacation View Post
I don't want to feed him anything I'm not legally allowed to feed him at his age just in case he chokes on something. But I will get him some stage 3 foods and cereal and work on replacing him.


You can legally feed him almost anything the older kids are eating (I know we can't feed infants hot dogs, though, for example).
Reply With Quote
  #74  
Old 12-17-2014, 11:42 AM
permanentvacation's Avatar
permanentvacation permanentvacation is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Maryland
Posts: 2,456
Default

I just called my food program monitor, and you're right. I can give him table food other then he's required to have formula and the baby cereal. Of course, the dangerous table foods I can't give him. So, maybe I will just add some table food to his stage 2 food until I replace him.

I have never had this happen in 25 years! I have never had a parent purposely give me less food than they know their baby needs. I just don't understand it from this family either. Both parents have VERY good jobs, they are professionals and have plenty of money. I'm completely shocked and confused that these parents are doing this.
Reply With Quote
  #75  
Old 12-17-2014, 12:22 PM
Leigh's Avatar
Leigh Leigh is online now
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 3,664
Default

90% of the fruits and veggies I purchase for daycare are stage 2. I just put cereal in them and they work just fine for infants of all ages (as soon as they get used to the runny stuff, I gradually add more and more cereal until it is thick). Stage 2 foods are no less nutritious for him, they just have more water and are smaller jars. At that age, I'd be giving 1 fruit AND 1 veggie at lunchtime, and one or the other for breakfast. They don't always eat all of the 2 jars of stage 2, but they always eat more than just one (that is with cereal mixed in, too). I just find it easier to use all stage 2 because kids of all ages can eat it, and I don't get stuck with a bunch of foods that I don't need when kids graduate to "real" foods. I buy a LOT of baby food at once (like 100 jars at a time).
Reply With Quote
  #76  
Old 12-17-2014, 12:46 PM
TheGoodLife's Avatar
TheGoodLife TheGoodLife is offline
Home Daycare Provider
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,368
Default

I agree with Leigh, buy a container of baby cereal and add it to he stage 2- makes it more filling. Hopefully you won't need it Friday, but better safe than sorry!
Reply With Quote
  #77  
Old 12-17-2014, 05:18 PM
Silly Songs's Avatar
Silly Songs Silly Songs is online now
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 677
Default

Speaking to the ladies in the infant room where I work , your guy seems to be eating exactly what most of their 7, 8 , 9 and even 10 month olds eat . They told me most have a stage 1 or 2 in the morning , a bottle about an hour or so later , baby food again around noon or 1 , another bottle an hour after that, one more bottle later that afternoon and that's it . Some of them are in daycare for 10 hours everyday ! So maybe the little one isn't "starving " after all .
Reply With Quote
  #78  
Old 12-17-2014, 05:25 PM
permanentvacation's Avatar
permanentvacation permanentvacation is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Maryland
Posts: 2,456
Default

The fact that he is crying the way he is and then shakes his hands and arms frantically at the sight of a bottle or food, then sucks it down as if he's not eaten in weeks, is a sign that he is unreasonably hungry. If he didn't cry like he does and didn't react like that, then I would say, that's just his feeding schedule and the foods he eats. But going by his behavior, he's excessively hungry and needs more food.

Then, since his mother finally admitted to me that they have been feeding him stage 3 food and table food at home, but only send me stage 2 food completely proves that he is used to more substantial food and truly is hungry here.
Reply With Quote
  #79  
Old 12-17-2014, 05:26 PM
permanentvacation's Avatar
permanentvacation permanentvacation is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Maryland
Posts: 2,456
Default

It's like he's 'well-fed' at home then thrown on a diet at daycare.
Reply With Quote
  #80  
Old 12-17-2014, 07:09 PM
Leigh's Avatar
Leigh Leigh is online now
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 3,664
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by permanentvacation View Post
The fact that he is crying the way he is and then shakes his hands and arms frantically at the sight of a bottle or food, then sucks it down as if he's not eaten in weeks, is a sign that he is unreasonably hungry. If he didn't cry like he does and didn't react like that, then I would say, that's just his feeding schedule and the foods he eats. But going by his behavior, he's excessively hungry and needs more food.

Then, since his mother finally admitted to me that they have been feeding him stage 3 food and table food at home, but only send me stage 2 food completely proves that he is used to more substantial food and truly is hungry here.
One thing we all know is that there is no "normal" when it comes to feeding babies. It's the reason that they need to be fed on demand. I have an 11 month old here who has eaten and eaten and eaten all day long since she was born. Just a few weeks ago, she started to slow down. When she's hungry she eats, when she's not, she doesn't. It's always been that way. It is rather alarming to see a baby down a large amount of food, but if they're healthy, normal weight, not spitting it back up-that's a sign that they really did need it. I'm sure that the baby you have is just one of those who loves to eat.
Reply With Quote
  #81  
Old 12-19-2014, 06:55 AM
permanentvacation's Avatar
permanentvacation permanentvacation is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Maryland
Posts: 2,456
Default

His mother forgot to bring his cereal this morning. Luckily I got him some jars of baby food yesterday. However, due to his father getting a promotion (which they have been telling me might happen) and them being able to change their work hours, his last day here will be Tuesday. This morning, I added 1/2 of a jar of the baby food I bought to the fruit and bottle they sent for breakfast and he's been happy as a lark!
Reply With Quote
  #82  
Old 12-19-2014, 08:06 AM
permanentvacation's Avatar
permanentvacation permanentvacation is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Maryland
Posts: 2,456
Default

He has not cried all day! I knew it! He just needed a little more food that was more substantial than the liquidy stuff they have been giving me! Since I fed him an extra 1/2 jar of substantial food, today has been the best day he and I have had in weeks!
Reply With Quote
  #83  
Old 12-19-2014, 10:00 AM
Unregistered
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by permanentvacation View Post
His mother forgot to bring his cereal this morning. Luckily I got him some jars of baby food yesterday. However, due to his father getting a promotion (which they have been telling me might happen) and them being able to change their work hours, his last day here will be Tuesday. This morning, I added 1/2 of a jar of the baby food I bought to the fruit and bottle they sent for breakfast and he's been happy as a lark!
They quit on you? Ugh!
Reply With Quote
  #84  
Old 12-19-2014, 01:30 PM
permanentvacation's Avatar
permanentvacation permanentvacation is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Maryland
Posts: 2,456
Default

In their defense, they have been telling me for a couple of weeks that if the dad gets this promotion that he was hoping to get, they were hoping that he would also get new hours so they could switch mom's hours a little so they would not need daycare sometime by mid-January. I did mention that on this thread. I was, however, hoping they wouldn't get the hours they needed to be able to keep him home and would still need daycare.

I thought he would be here at least until mid-January though. Not just a couple of more days.

But the fact that I've been telling them for a couple of weeks that he's hungry and then the mom finally told me that they feed him so much more substantial food at home than they send me here really upsets me.

Last edited by permanentvacation; 12-19-2014 at 01:32 PM. Reason: added info
Reply With Quote
  #85  
Old 12-19-2014, 01:37 PM
Cradle2crayons's Avatar
Cradle2crayons Cradle2crayons is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Deep in the woods....
Posts: 3,634
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by permanentvacation View Post
In their defense, they have been telling me for a couple of weeks that if the dad gets this promotion that he was hoping to get, they were hoping that he would also get new hours so they could switch mom's hours a little so they would not need daycare sometime by mid-January. I did mention that on this thread. I was, however, hoping they wouldn't get the hours they needed to be able to keep him home and would still need daycare.

I thought he would be here at least until mid-January though. Not just a couple of more days.

But the fact that I've been telling them for a couple of weeks that he's hungry and then the mom finally told me that they feed him so much more substantial food at home than they send me here really upsets me.
You don't require a two week notice?
Reply With Quote
  #86  
Old 12-19-2014, 01:48 PM
permanentvacation's Avatar
permanentvacation permanentvacation is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Maryland
Posts: 2,456
Default

Years ago, when I lived in a more decent area, I did and had no problem getting two weeks' pay along with a written notice. But in this area, many parents would flip out when they read that in the contract during the interview and then whether they had flipped out about it or not, no one would pay it. They would just not show up one day. Sometimes they would never answer my phone calls when I called to try to find out what was going on. Other parents would answer the phone and very abruptly say 'he's not coming back' and then quickly hang up. Whenever I got a chance to get a couple of words in to tell them they owe the two weeks' notice, they'd say they don't have the money and they aren't going to pay for what they don't need.

So, I gave up trying to expect it. By not requiring a two weeks' notice, at least the parents now tell me ahead of time that they are leaving or might be leaving. I am not getting a financial two weeks notice now, but at least I get a verbal heads up so I can start advertising.

I tried to make parents pay their two weeks notice when the first start coming here, by raising the rate for the first couple of weeks telling them that the extra money goes towards their last two weeks notice. They flipped out over that too.
Reply With Quote
  #87  
Old 12-19-2014, 02:16 PM
itlw8's Avatar
itlw8 itlw8 is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Missouri
Posts: 2,199
Default

That is a lot of food. the problem is not he needs more food. It may be the fact he is constantly eating so never gets hungry.
__________________
It will wait
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
feeding issues, parents - don't feed kids, parents - dont know how

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Child's Behavior At Pick Up momatheart Daycare Center and Family Home Forum 11 07-29-2017 01:39 PM
Thoughts On Particular Child - Unregistered Daycare Center and Family Home Forum 12 12-17-2014 05:54 AM
Sick Kids From A Physician's View NoMoreJuice! Daycare Center and Family Home Forum 105 06-27-2014 04:14 PM
Handbooks/Policies countrymom Daycare Center and Family Home Forum 67 08-05-2013 05:44 PM
Drop Off Problem... Dsquared Daycare Center and Family Home Forum 15 02-11-2011 10:52 AM


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 09:49 PM.



Daycare.com         Find A Daycare         List Your Daycare         Toys & Products                 About Us

Daycare.com
Please read our Disclaimer before continuing.

Topics pertain mainly to the following States:

Alabama Alaska Arizona Arkansas California Colorado Connecticut Delaware District of Columbia Florida Georgia Hawaii Idaho Illinois Indiana Iowa Kansas Kentucky Louisiana Maine Maryland Massachusetts Michigan Minnesota Mississippi Missouri Montana Nebraska Nevada New Hampshire New Jersey New Mexico New York North Carolina North Dakota Ohio Oklahoma Oregon Pennsylvania Rhode Island South Carolina South Dakota Tennessee Texas Utah Vermont Virginia Washington West Virginia Wisconsin Wyoming