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  #101  
Old 11-12-2011, 08:09 PM
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Originally Posted by nannyde View Post
Hmmm

I'll take the actual words please.
We actually have a teacher at my sons school that teachers the sign for potty to the kindergardeners. That is what they have to use instead of using the words, I guess its less distracting if they sign it.
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  #102  
Old 11-14-2011, 07:27 AM
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Nothing I can do about this so I'll just vent about it and get it off my chest. I have a dcb who is going to be 3 in Feb. He is obsessed with Thomas the train, he carries a Thomas the train book as a security book. He talks about trains all the time, points outside and sees trains. It's so annoying because it's constant. He also twists his hair, he just got his head shaved and now he rubs it. He cries over stupid stuff, like his sock is crooked. His twin is the complete opposite, she is out going and plays with every one. Not her brother, he sits there talking about trains or rubbing his head. He's also not potty trained and cries if you talk about it and he repeats everything you say to him, like if he needs his diaper changed and I tell him lets go to the bathroom, he says lets go to the bathroom and it goes on and on. He is my least favorite to deal with.
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  #103  
Old 11-14-2011, 07:37 AM
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That sounds a lot like my eldest grandson, the 4 yo. He's gotten a lot better in the past 7 or 8 mos, but he would focus on one thing and stay on it forever. 2 special ed preschool teachers said he shows definite signs of Asperger's, but our local school district said no, it was because he lived in a child centered home.

At 2, he didn't really communicate his wants or needs, but could name every shark, whale, dolphin, etc. Between 3 and 4 it was trains, he knew everything about trains, but still didn't really communicate.

He's still a little quirky, but doing good.
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  #104  
Old 11-14-2011, 07:40 AM
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Originally Posted by morgan24 View Post
Nothing I can do about this so I'll just vent about it and get it off my chest. I have a dcb who is going to be 3 in Feb. He is obsessed with Thomas the train, he carries a Thomas the train book as a security book. He talks about trains all the time, points outside and sees trains. It's so annoying because it's constant. He also twists his hair, he just got his head shaved and now he rubs it. He cries over stupid stuff, like his sock is crooked. His twin is the complete opposite, she is out going and plays with every one. Not her brother, he sits there talking about trains or rubbing his head. He's also not potty trained and cries if you talk about it and he repeats everything you say to him, like if he needs his diaper changed and I tell him lets go to the bathroom, he says lets go to the bathroom and it goes on and on. He is my least favorite to deal with.
I see definite red flags here. Is there any way you can suggest an evaluation? Getting upset over things that seem minor (like sock being crooked), the repeating, the narrow interests/obsession, the repetitive behavior (hair twisting/rubbing)...those paint a very clear picture for me.
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  #105  
Old 11-14-2011, 09:12 AM
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I see definite red flags here. Is there any way you can suggest an evaluation? Getting upset over things that seem minor (like sock being crooked), the repeating, the narrow interests/obsession, the repetitive behavior (hair twisting/rubbing)...those paint a very clear picture for me.
I have thought that maybe something is wrong, but I don't really think that I'm qualified to say one way or the other. I have heard that other family members have suggested it to dcm and she doesn't see it.
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  #106  
Old 11-14-2011, 10:24 AM
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I have thought that maybe something is wrong, but I don't really think that I'm qualified to say one way or the other. I have heard that other family members have suggested it to dcm and she doesn't see it.
"You know, dcm, I don't know how to say this so I'm going to just do it. DCB just isn't in the same place developmentally as most of his peers. I'm really worried about him and think you should bring it up to your pediatrician--soon."

Sometimes a parent isn't going to hear it the first time someone says it, but it will place seeds of doubt. So will the second time, the third, and so on until the doubt outweighs the denial and something changes. The younger he gets therapy and assistance, the better his outcome will be.
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  #107  
Old 11-14-2011, 12:03 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by morgan24 View Post
Nothing I can do about this so I'll just vent about it and get it off my chest. I have a dcb who is going to be 3 in Feb. He is obsessed with Thomas the train, he carries a Thomas the train book as a security book. He talks about trains all the time, points outside and sees trains. It's so annoying because it's constant. He also twists his hair, he just got his head shaved and now he rubs it. He cries over stupid stuff, like his sock is crooked. His twin is the complete opposite, she is out going and plays with every one. Not her brother, he sits there talking about trains or rubbing his head. He's also not potty trained and cries if you talk about it and he repeats everything you say to him, like if he needs his diaper changed and I tell him lets go to the bathroom, he says lets go to the bathroom and it goes on and on. He is my least favorite to deal with.
I have had this kid before. Does he suck cloth too?

I would nix the Thomas book. I wouldn't let him have it at all... and NO talk of Thomas.
I have had a few of these boys and have found that the parents get very attached to the peace and quiet that comes with multiple hours of thomas watching and the kid putting the trains one after another. They LOVE that it's all boy... and they believe that their kids ability to do it for hours upon hours is a sign of advanced or giftedness.

When you remove the ability to have the trains, books, videos... the kid pretty much goes into social isolation, depression, grief, etc. The Thomas addiction is so strong that it BECOMES their personality. Once removed it means there's not much left to go on.

It's common for these boys to not want to entertain themselves... not really KNOW how to play with other toys... get VERY rigid about lining things up when they DO have only other toys.. and spend a lot of time talking like the thomas characters and about it. That's how the "do" thomas with no physical and visual access.

They haven't developed a life outside of Thomas. This is something the parents not only support.. condone... but REALLY REALLY REALLY love. They love it because they can put the kid in thomas world and they don't have to deal with them. As long as it runs wall to wall and the kid has the thomas toys/books etc. they really don't have to deal with them much. They even get relatives to buy MORE thomas for bdays, xmas, etc. It's all boy so it's all good.

If you do some research about the connection between thomas addiction and autism it will explain WHY these boys like Thomas... all the way down to the facial expressions of the engines... the music... the repetitiveness of it.

So when you take it away and forbid the re-enacting of it then the kid will go into anger, fear, and shut down. They will stare off into space for long periods of time. What you are most likely seeing with him IS the withdrawl he is experiencing at your home. Allowing him to keep a thomas book means he's allowed to be anchored into thomas BUT it's not what he wants to feed the addiction... so he does NOTHING but cling to the book and do repetitive motion stimulation to soothe himself.

He's just waiting for when he gets to go home so he can get his Thomas on.

Ask the Mom about what thomas he has at home. Ask her how much he watches it... does he have a TV in his room... is his room done in thomas... does he have thomas silverware?

Is he doing a combo of watching the videos and lining up trains the majority of his evening and weekends?

If he is all thomas all the time.. he will be in withdrawl when he is with you. Talk with mom and find out if they are "doing" a thomas life with him and do some research on fixation.

Here's one article:
http://autism.about.com/b/2008/10/07...experience.htm
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  #108  
Old 11-14-2011, 12:16 PM
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Oh dear....my dcb who I strongly suspect has aspergers is also a Thomas fanatic right down to only wearing Thomas pants. His parents think he's quirky and extremely shy.
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  #109  
Old 11-14-2011, 02:23 PM
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what do you do when you have a child that continually breaks the rules???? and i cant kick him out because of financial reasons.. And ofcorse he is county assistance. Everyday he is breaking toys, touching other children( big pet peeve, i have a rule keep hands to self) running, throwing toys... He diliberately waits til i leave the room or turn my back to do something naughty, i have caught him on a number of occasions. I sent his parent a letter cause its been stressing me out, im pregnant... The next week his dad told me to tell him the day it happens well everyday im telling them something new now its like their annoyed, they chalk it up to him being a boy. i chalk it up to bad parenting... i dont know what to do hes damaging my property, i literally cant make lunch with him here i make him come to the kitchen cause he cant be trusted.... He has also been kicked out of daycare before here in town... so his parents should know hes not pleasant... yet they leave him here all day when neither of them works!!!
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  #110  
Old 11-14-2011, 03:06 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kayla View Post
what do you do when you have a child that continually breaks the rules???? and i cant kick him out because of financial reasons.. And ofcorse he is county assistance. Everyday he is breaking toys, touching other children( big pet peeve, i have a rule keep hands to self) running, throwing toys... He diliberately waits til i leave the room or turn my back to do something naughty, i have caught him on a number of occasions. I sent his parent a letter cause its been stressing me out, im pregnant... The next week his dad told me to tell him the day it happens well everyday im telling them something new now its like their annoyed, they chalk it up to him being a boy. i chalk it up to bad parenting... i dont know what to do hes damaging my property, i literally cant make lunch with him here i make him come to the kitchen cause he cant be trusted.... He has also been kicked out of daycare before here in town... so his parents should know hes not pleasant... yet they leave him here all day when neither of them works!!!
They don't want to deal with what they've created.
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  #111  
Old 11-14-2011, 03:35 PM
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We're under a tornado watch all evening and it's very windy. Now my phone line is down, which is disturbing. I don't have a cell phone and I'm home alone with my two kids. until 11:15. This is really bothering me, a lot. The website for our phone service is treating me like I'm an idiot'--"well if your phone isn't working it's not OUR fault" and "Troubleshoot it yourself or call a technician which will cost you $$". Yeah, pretty sure the problem is not in my house.
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  #112  
Old 11-14-2011, 03:54 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nannyde View Post
I have had this kid before. Does he suck cloth too?

I would nix the Thomas book. I wouldn't let him have it at all... and NO talk of Thomas.
I have had a few of these boys and have found that the parents get very attached to the peace and quiet that comes with multiple hours of thomas watching and the kid putting the trains one after another. They LOVE that it's all boy... and they believe that their kids ability to do it for hours upon hours is a sign of advanced or giftedness.

When you remove the ability to have the trains, books, videos... the kid pretty much goes into social isolation, depression, grief, etc. The Thomas addiction is so strong that it BECOMES their personality. Once removed it means there's not much left to go on.

It's common for these boys to not want to entertain themselves... not really KNOW how to play with other toys... get VERY rigid about lining things up when they DO have only other toys.. and spend a lot of time talking like the thomas characters and about it. That's how the "do" thomas with no physical and visual access.

They haven't developed a life outside of Thomas. This is something the parents not only support.. condone... but REALLY REALLY REALLY love. They love it because they can put the kid in thomas world and they don't have to deal with them. As long as it runs wall to wall and the kid has the thomas toys/books etc. they really don't have to deal with them much. They even get relatives to buy MORE thomas for bdays, xmas, etc. It's all boy so it's all good.

If you do some research about the connection between thomas addiction and autism it will explain WHY these boys like Thomas... all the way down to the facial expressions of the engines... the music... the repetitiveness of it.

So when you take it away and forbid the re-enacting of it then the kid will go into anger, fear, and shut down. They will stare off into space for long periods of time. What you are most likely seeing with him IS the withdrawl he is experiencing at your home. Allowing him to keep a thomas book means he's allowed to be anchored into thomas BUT it's not what he wants to feed the addiction... so he does NOTHING but cling to the book and do repetitive motion stimulation to soothe himself.

He's just waiting for when he gets to go home so he can get his Thomas on.

Ask the Mom about what thomas he has at home. Ask her how much he watches it... does he have a TV in his room... is his room done in thomas... does he have thomas silverware?

Is he doing a combo of watching the videos and lining up trains the majority of his evening and weekends?

If he is all thomas all the time.. he will be in withdrawl when he is with you. Talk with mom and find out if they are "doing" a thomas life with him and do some research on fixation.

Here's one article:
http://autism.about.com/b/2008/10/07...experience.htm
If you remove that fixation will they focus on something else? I don't know if he has the whole Thomas thing going on at home. He only brings a book. We only watch T.V. twice and it's never on. So is this an addiction or autism?

Thanks for the input from everyone. I plan on discussing it with dcm and I'll let you know how it goes.
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  #113  
Old 11-14-2011, 04:09 PM
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Originally Posted by morgan24 View Post
If you remove that fixation will they focus on something else? I don't know if he has the whole Thomas thing going on at home. He only brings a book. We only watch T.V. twice and it's never on. So is this an addiction or autism?

Thanks for the input from everyone. I plan on discussing it with dcm and I'll let you know how it goes.
Oh I don't have a clue if it's autism. I'm saying you can learn about the thomas fixation by learning why it is attractive to autistic children.

Ask them about Thomas in his life.
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  #114  
Old 11-15-2011, 03:11 PM
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Today has been one of those days that makes me wonder what I could have possibly been thinking when I decided to do this job. Everyone has been crying today, almost non-stop. No fevers or anything. Just a bunch of crabby kids who all want to be held. If they aren't being held they are beating the he!! out of eachother. I have been looking into going back to school, but seeing how much it costs and how many years it will take to get where I would like to be makes me sad. I am feeling kind of stuck at the moment.
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  #115  
Old 11-16-2011, 02:41 AM
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DH's alarm on his phone has rang at 6am for the last 5 days in a row. I get up at 6:40 and he gets up at 7:15!!!!!!!!! WHY IS HIS ALARM EVEN ON????? AND WHY CAN HE GO RIGHT BACK TO SLEEP WHILE I'M WIDE AWAKE????

Ok, maybe I won't kill him when he gets up now.
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  #116  
Old 11-16-2011, 05:29 AM
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thanks to my sweet baby boy, who apparently thinks that "way too early" is a good time to be up and giggling and ready for the day...until now, when my day is ramping up and he is ready for a nap.

It's a good thing you're cute buddy.

I need caffeine. I have a good, solid 15 hours ahead of me with NO back up or relief. Or break.
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  #117  
Old 11-16-2011, 10:47 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Meyou View Post
DH's alarm on his phone has rang at 6am for the last 5 days in a row. I get up at 6:40 and he gets up at 7:15!!!!!!!!! WHY IS HIS ALARM EVEN ON????? AND WHY CAN HE GO RIGHT BACK TO SLEEP WHILE I'M WIDE AWAKE????

Ok, maybe I won't kill him when he gets up now.


My hubby does this too
His is set for 15min before mine and he doesn't get up for at least another 45min. Drives me CRAZY!
I have started checking his phone before bed to make sure it's off
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  #118  
Old 11-16-2011, 12:31 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Meyou View Post
DH's alarm on his phone has rang at 6am for the last 5 days in a row. I get up at 6:40 and he gets up at 7:15!!!!!!!!! WHY IS HIS ALARM EVEN ON????? AND WHY CAN HE GO RIGHT BACK TO SLEEP WHILE I'M WIDE AWAKE????

Ok, maybe I won't kill him when he gets up now.
My niece sets her alarm for an hour before she has to get up. It goes off every 5 mins for an hour, then she still doesn't get up for another 20 mins.
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  #119  
Old 11-17-2011, 05:01 AM
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7 hours of sleep in the past 2 days.

That's 7 hours of sleep, and 41 hours of being awake. The 7 hours were in very broken stretches.

I am so tired that I feel faintly ill and dizzy. I haven't felt like this in years. Forming coherent thoughts is very hard.

I do not know how I am going to make it through the day. I know from experience that caffeine in this state will make me jittery and unable to sleep...and nothing will help me but sleep.

I can't ask DH to help me out because a) he is being less than sympathetic and b) he really doesn't want to and c) he really shouldn't call off work right now and d) he'll just pull the "14 hour work day" card on me.
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  #120  
Old 11-17-2011, 06:07 AM
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I know how rough that is. Can you rest when the littles are down, or would you fall asleep?
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  #121  
Old 11-17-2011, 06:14 AM
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7 hours of sleep in the past 2 days.

I am so tired that I feel faintly ill and dizzy. I haven't felt like this in years. Forming coherent thoughts is very hard.
Do you have any "Stress" B Complex? Take it with orange juice and a peanut butter sandwich. It has "saved" me on many, many occassions.
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  #122  
Old 11-17-2011, 06:18 AM
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I know how rough that is. Can you rest when the littles are down, or would you fall asleep?
I would fall asleep. Not much hope I'd get even get a chance to rest though--DS is in 'omg the world is ending HOLD ME' mode, and not napping much the past couple days. Getting a cold + three teeth + growth spurt...he's to the point with this stuff that I'm very close to picking up infant Motrin at the store tonight to see if it helps his sleep.

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Do you have any "Stress" B Complex? Take it with orange juice and a peanut butter sandwich. It has "saved" me on many, many occassions.
Hmm, I'll have to check. I don't think I have a B Complex but I do have Vit D and a couple other things that might help. I'm a bit perkier after breakfast but it's going to be a long day.
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  #123  
Old 11-17-2011, 01:27 PM
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Is it in the air?

I got maybe 12 hours combined over the last 3 nights. Starting to drink way too much espresso. I actually had palpitations this morning. I don't know if it is due to the caffeine, lack of sleep or stress.

So glad next week is a short week!
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  #124  
Old 11-17-2011, 06:00 PM
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what do you do when you have a child that continually breaks the rules???? and i cant kick him out because of financial reasons.. And ofcorse he is county assistance. Everyday he is breaking toys, touching other children( big pet peeve, i have a rule keep hands to self) running, throwing toys... He diliberately waits til i leave the room or turn my back to do something naughty, i have caught him on a number of occasions. I sent his parent a letter cause its been stressing me out, im pregnant... The next week his dad told me to tell him the day it happens well everyday im telling them something new now its like their annoyed, they chalk it up to him being a boy. i chalk it up to bad parenting... i dont know what to do hes damaging my property, i literally cant make lunch with him here i make him come to the kitchen cause he cant be trusted.... He has also been kicked out of daycare before here in town... so his parents should know hes not pleasant... yet they leave him here all day when neither of them works!!!
I feel like you are talking about my 2 yo dcb?!?! Sounds like we have the same kid! I feel for you. Same with the parents. Typical 2 yo old boy behavior! Ugh.
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  #125  
Old 11-18-2011, 04:57 AM
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I received a text asking if I will still charge the full amount 140/week for two children btw, for next week even though they'll only be here m-w. I'm opened Friday, by the way.

First of all, we talked about it and you signed the contract.

Secondly, it really makes me want to cry when people try to get out of paying me for my TWO paid holidays per year.

Imagine how they will react when I send out the new contract this year and ask for a few more days off per year.

I had a dcm, one year pay me for christmas week and when I told her she was short I found out she had calculated actual days in attendance and then added a "bonus" all of which did not come out to what she actually owed me for the week.

After she reluctantly got it all straight there was definitely no bonus.

Whatever, people.
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  #126  
Old 11-18-2011, 05:25 AM
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Sent a letter home with one last night, telling Dad that as of today, he owes 1 1/2 weeks. I've been up for 45 mins and they're a no show. I lost 1 1/2 hrs of sleep.
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  #127  
Old 11-18-2011, 05:34 AM
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They just showed up. Kid didn't give father note. I never give notes to kids because this is what happens. I told Grandma #2 note was in bag, and she didn't give it to Dad.
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  #128  
Old 11-18-2011, 05:10 PM
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Grrrrr today is my payday and most of the time tmy families pay on time - Today I had a dad write the check but said don't cash it before Wednesday as we are waiting for the student loan check to come. huh? Today is payday. If I can't cash it until wednesday it's technically late. Grrrrr - what are they going to do when they find out next Wednesday is payday again since I"m closed Th and F for Thanksgiving??? I will comply (because I dont' want to deal with the headache of a bounced check) but not happy about it
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  #129  
Old 11-18-2011, 06:35 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nannyde View Post
I have had this kid before. Does he suck cloth too?

I would nix the Thomas book. I wouldn't let him have it at all... and NO talk of Thomas.
I have had a few of these boys and have found that the parents get very attached to the peace and quiet that comes with multiple hours of thomas watching and the kid putting the trains one after another. They LOVE that it's all boy... and they believe that their kids ability to do it for hours upon hours is a sign of advanced or giftedness.

When you remove the ability to have the trains, books, videos... the kid pretty much goes into social isolation, depression, grief, etc. The Thomas addiction is so strong that it BECOMES their personality. Once removed it means there's not much left to go on.

It's common for these boys to not want to entertain themselves... not really KNOW how to play with other toys... get VERY rigid about lining things up when they DO have only other toys.. and spend a lot of time talking like the thomas characters and about it. That's how the "do" thomas with no physical and visual access.

They haven't developed a life outside of Thomas. This is something the parents not only support.. condone... but REALLY REALLY REALLY love. They love it because they can put the kid in thomas world and they don't have to deal with them. As long as it runs wall to wall and the kid has the thomas toys/books etc. they really don't have to deal with them much. They even get relatives to buy MORE thomas for bdays, xmas, etc. It's all boy so it's all good.

If you do some research about the connection between thomas addiction and autism it will explain WHY these boys like Thomas... all the way down to the facial expressions of the engines... the music... the repetitiveness of it.

So when you take it away and forbid the re-enacting of it then the kid will go into anger, fear, and shut down. They will stare off into space for long periods of time. What you are most likely seeing with him IS the withdrawl he is experiencing at your home. Allowing him to keep a thomas book means he's allowed to be anchored into thomas BUT it's not what he wants to feed the addiction... so he does NOTHING but cling to the book and do repetitive motion stimulation to soothe himself.

He's just waiting for when he gets to go home so he can get his Thomas on.

Ask the Mom about what thomas he has at home. Ask her how much he watches it... does he have a TV in his room... is his room done in thomas... does he have thomas silverware?

Is he doing a combo of watching the videos and lining up trains the majority of his evening and weekends?

If he is all thomas all the time.. he will be in withdrawl when he is with you. Talk with mom and find out if they are "doing" a thomas life with him and do some research on fixation.

Here's one article:
http://autism.about.com/b/2008/10/07...experience.htm
I have a version of this kid too. He's the one who I posted about who wouldn't use the toilet or, and refused drinks to avoid having to use the toilet. We have gotten past the bathroom thing, thank God.

But he's also a Thomas buff, his backpack is filled with Thomas train toys and books that he just carries with him. We have a wooden toy train that he must play with every day, fixates on it, and won't allow anyone else to touch it without a tantrum. But the train thing is mild...I deal with it like I deal with any fixations or tantrums.

He was non-verbal until about 9 months ago (he'll be 4 next month). He had remained in the Two-year-old room because he was not potty trained, non-verbal and socially delayed. Very random, choppy language...expressed wants and needs by pointing, noises or simply dragging the person over to it...couldn't play cooperatively at all. (Of course mom insisted he talked, was potty-trained, etc at home)

Just recently moved to me, and had what I can only describe as a language explosion. Suddenly began asking questions, saying what he wanted/needed, making comments, even tattling . He still kind of sounds like the computer in that movie Blank Check, and he has a habit of repeating himself, but I'm elated.

Our first success was the sentence "I need help". Instead of struggling/tantruming or thrusting his coat/shoe/whatever at someone...we insisted that he say the words "I need help" and would not provide help until he said it. Progressed to "I want water"..."I need to potty"..."I want to play with the train".

A lot has gone on in this boys life in the past couple months, including his parents separating and his mom taking on a night job , and now I'm seeing behavior issues that weren't present before.

But I can understand the other poster's frustration...
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Old 11-22-2011, 09:40 AM
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Another interview down the tubes. No call, no show. I HAAAAAAAAAAAAATE it when that happens!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

At least, though, I know ahead of time that I dodged a bullet. If they don't call or show up, they don't get a second chance unless someone was in an accident.

Five months now with no kids. I'm starting to question what is wrong with me!
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Old 11-22-2011, 09:55 AM
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I was to have NO kids today. I was getting ready to take mine out for the day.... one DCM pulls up at 5 minutes until arrival cut-off time (I was told she was to be out of State at her parents).

She changed her mind, since she is paying for it and all. She is going shopping with her friend and may be a "little later" than usual to pick up.

I have no recourse as I have set hours/rates. It typically is for the best, but on occasion bites me in the rear.

Well, she just lost her free "Christmas Shopping Saturday" childcare. Hope she is not looking forward to it. She knows I won't get to see my kids on Thanksgiving, too. (she is divorced as well, so KNOWS how bad visitation agreements suck)

Ugh, the holidays always seem to bring out the worst in some of my clients.
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Old 11-22-2011, 10:51 AM
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I was to have NO kids today. I was getting ready to take mine out for the day.... one DCM pulls up at 5 minutes until arrival cut-off time (I was told she was to be out of State at her parents).

She changed her mind, since she is paying for it and all. She is going shopping with her friend and may be a "little later" than usual to pick up.

I have no recourse as I have set hours/rates. It typically is for the best, but on occasion bites me in the rear.

Well, she just lost her free "Christmas Shopping Saturday" childcare. Hope she is not looking forward to it. She knows I won't get to see my kids on Thanksgiving, too. (she is divorced as well, so KNOWS how bad visitation agreements suck)

Ugh, the holidays always seem to bring out the worst in some of my clients.
what a butt!!! Stupid heffa! That makes me sad...she initially told you that she wasn't coming and decided at the last minute without telling you that she was going to bring them??? Oh no, sweetheart. You better take them shopping! I am not Walmart...I am not sitting her waiting for you to spend your money. This is MY HOME AND DESERVES RESPECT; whether you are paying for it or not!!! That makes me sad and mad...
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Old 11-22-2011, 11:20 AM
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what a butt!!! Stupid heffa! That makes me sad...she initially told you that she wasn't coming and decided at the last minute without telling you that she was going to bring them??? Oh no, sweetheart. You better take them shopping! I am not Walmart...I am not sitting her waiting for you to spend your money. This is MY HOME AND DESERVES RESPECT; whether you are paying for it or not!!! That makes me sad and mad...
It does stink.... Buuuutttt... I charge a flat tuition not based on attendance so TECHNICALLY she is entitled to come anytime she wants (up until arrival drop-off time). It IS a normal work day for me, after-all.

I think she is being passive aggressive because her e-bill/direct payment went through as usual last night (to go into my account friday) because she did not turn in her 30 day "unpaid vacation" notice (less than 3 days notice was given verbally).

Oh well. Little one had fun making Christmas ornaments from Plaster of Paris and molds (Grandparent gifts) with my kids. I just wish I was allowed to transport so we could have gone out to lunch... I had NOTHING prepared.
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Old 11-22-2011, 12:38 PM
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It's most likely not you Afterschoolmom. I went 4 months with no kids, got 1 part time, then went another 4 1/2 months before I got 2 new families on the same day! It will happen!!! Nothing seems to be easy these days, just hang in there!!
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Old 11-23-2011, 06:32 AM
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It has been almost a week and a half and I have not had any 4 year olds here and it has been GREAT, but i did not know that was an issue until today. One of the boys I care for had his big brother come with him today. He is four. They have been here for 30 minutes and I am beyond annoyed! He talks too darn much and QUESTIONS everything. His one year old brother is better at following directions. I am not going to take on any four year olds full time. They should be in a real preschool and that's it! I am not sure what I am gonna do with my son when he is four! I plan to homeschool! I will get over it!
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Old 11-23-2011, 07:55 AM
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I have 18 people coming for dinner tomorrow. Generally everyone pitches in to help spruce up the house and yards, shop, and prepare the dinner.

DD #1 has to work until 12, then pick up the two girls from school, then stop at the store, blah, blah, blah.

DD #2's dh is out of town, working, so no help there.

DH hurt his back yesterday, so he'll be no help, already took pain pills.

Niece has to work.

Adopted granddaughter promised to help today, but now is taking her gf to LA to pick up her bf. She came yesterday afternoon, but we weren't home.

Forgot to add, both boys are home from preschool and really wild today. I am going to leave the cartoons on all day and velcro them to the sofa.

4 yo has croup and is misserable. Mom will end up at urgent care this afternoon when she gets home from work.

Oh, well, what gets done, gets done. What doesn't won't.
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Old 11-23-2011, 08:31 AM
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I forgot to add, dd #2 brought over 2 full loads of bedding this morning. 3 yo had an accident in her bed last night. It may or may not get done.

Couldn't handle dh's whining anymore, sent him off to run errands, AFTER I tied his shoes for him.
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  #138  
Old 11-24-2011, 10:12 AM
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SIL #1 just took granddaughter #1 and grandson #1 to the urgent care. Granddaughter has a severe sinus infection, just started yesterday with symptoms and is really sick today. Grandson #1 started croup Monday night, already headed into pneumonia.

My 89 yo mother and her 77 yo gentleman friend are coming for dinner.
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  #139  
Old 11-29-2011, 10:41 AM
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Okay, so I am seriously behind in everything!! Paperwork, my kids' schoolwork, my laundry, bills, everything!! I try to do some in the evenings but I am exhausted by the time the dck's are gone. On weekends, my children and dh want my attention.
I just want one day with my whole family gone so I can catch up!!! But its not gonna happen because they apparently can't breathe without me within 3 feet of them!
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  #140  
Old 11-29-2011, 09:32 PM
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I have had this kid before. Does he suck cloth too?

I would nix the Thomas book. I wouldn't let him have it at all... and NO talk of Thomas.
I have had a few of these boys and have found that the parents get very attached to the peace and quiet that comes with multiple hours of thomas watching and the kid putting the trains one after another. They LOVE that it's all boy... and they believe that their kids ability to do it for hours upon hours is a sign of advanced or giftedness.

When you remove the ability to have the trains, books, videos... the kid pretty much goes into social isolation, depression, grief, etc. The Thomas addiction is so strong that it BECOMES their personality. Once removed it means there's not much left to go on.

It's common for these boys to not want to entertain themselves... not really KNOW how to play with other toys... get VERY rigid about lining things up when they DO have only other toys.. and spend a lot of time talking like the thomas characters and about it. That's how the "do" thomas with no physical and visual access.

They haven't developed a life outside of Thomas. This is something the parents not only support.. condone... but REALLY REALLY REALLY love. They love it because they can put the kid in thomas world and they don't have to deal with them. As long as it runs wall to wall and the kid has the thomas toys/books etc. they really don't have to deal with them much. They even get relatives to buy MORE thomas for bdays, xmas, etc. It's all boy so it's all good.

If you do some research about the connection between thomas addiction and autism it will explain WHY these boys like Thomas... all the way down to the facial expressions of the engines... the music... the repetitiveness of it.

So when you take it away and forbid the re-enacting of it then the kid will go into anger, fear, and shut down. They will stare off into space for long periods of time. What you are most likely seeing with him IS the withdrawl he is experiencing at your home. Allowing him to keep a thomas book means he's allowed to be anchored into thomas BUT it's not what he wants to feed the addiction... so he does NOTHING but cling to the book and do repetitive motion stimulation to soothe himself.

He's just waiting for when he gets to go home so he can get his Thomas on.

Ask the Mom about what thomas he has at home. Ask her how much he watches it... does he have a TV in his room... is his room done in thomas... does he have thomas silverware?

Is he doing a combo of watching the videos and lining up trains the majority of his evening and weekends?

If he is all thomas all the time.. he will be in withdrawl when he is with you. Talk with mom and find out if they are "doing" a thomas life with him and do some research on fixation.

Here's one article:
http://autism.about.com/b/2008/10/07...experience.htm
Nan
Thank you so much for taking the time to write all of this...
This has been so helpful to me..
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  #141  
Old 11-30-2011, 11:54 AM
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New child started today, 3yo girl. I heard this all morning long:

"This phone needs new batteries."
"I think this toy is broken. The lights aren't working."
"Ms.Tee, do you have more batteries? This train isn't working."
"Why isn't the music playing when I push the button?"
"Why are your toys not working? This is suppose to light up and sing Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star."
"Do you have a DS I can play with? I left mine in my mommy's car."



She's in for a wonderful surprise of learning all about our toys at daycare that DON'T run on batteries and she'll be actively using her imagination by next week's end.
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  #142  
Old 11-30-2011, 06:43 PM
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Nan
Thank you so much for taking the time to write all of this...
This has been so helpful to me..
I agree with you!
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  #143  
Old 11-30-2011, 09:22 PM
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I agree with you!
hmmmmm, interesting name, is that a city?
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  #144  
Old 12-01-2011, 07:51 AM
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My dh watches 14 hours of tv a day. The tv is on from 8 AM until 10 PM. I am having a very hard time trying to get the younger boys to do anything besides watch tv. Schoolwork is out the window, outside play is a battle, and they haven't been in the playroom since Monday when he was at the dr's.

We will be having a discussion shortly, but I doubt it will do any good.
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  #145  
Old 12-02-2011, 11:40 AM
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Ugh my helper called in sick again today - that's 5 days in 3 months - Guess I start looking for a new helper because I need consistancy. The DCK haven't even been sick that much in 3 months. I had to cancel preschool for the 4 yr olds today because I didn't have anyone to watch the babies.
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  #146  
Old 12-02-2011, 12:23 PM
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17 month old up at 4AM this morning----WHAT??? Refused a morning nap and now has only slept for 30 min and has spent the rest of the time screaming and crying. Going to be an interesting afternoon. TGIF and almost done! That's going to be one fun evening at his house
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Old 12-05-2011, 03:50 PM
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I had granola in my oven when I had an unannounced visit from the County. Had to walk her through my house and the granola burned! Grrr....
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  #148  
Old 12-06-2011, 12:06 PM
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Stop sending your 18 mo old girl to daycare with those stupid clip barrettes. They dont' stay in at all and all she wants to do is put it in her mouth. I'm sorry she can't see but figure something else out and I can't keep putting it back in every 5 mintues onces she takes it out!!!
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  #149  
Old 12-06-2011, 12:28 PM
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Stop sending your 18 mo old girl to daycare with those stupid clip barrettes. They dont' stay in at all and all she wants to do is put it in her mouth. I'm sorry she can't see but figure something else out and I can't keep putting it back in every 5 mintues onces she takes it out!!!
Buy a stash of headbands at the Dollar Tree and once Mama leaves, take the clip out and stick on a headband. If she tries to take them off, a quick shoo of the hands away from her face for a day or two will get her to stop. Headbands are my FAVORITE things, and I can get 10 of them for $1 which lasts me forever. Once Mama pulls into the driveway, switch the headband for the clip and send that baby on her happy, merry way.

I have two parents who wait until their kid's bangs are soooooo long....they are literally touching their eyelashes, before they take their kid to get a haircut. So obnoxious! I guess it's only me who notices that their child can't see and they are continually pushing their hair out of their eyes so they can see Headbands are livesavers with these children.
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  #150  
Old 12-06-2011, 12:37 PM
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someone is carrying the 9.5month old girl I watch, this girl doesn't let me put her down. the last 2 weeks I saw such an improvement and then monday back to the beginning, all she does is cry if she is not carried, I'm now immuned to it, she needs to learn to go and explore. And no nothing is wrong with her either.
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Old 12-06-2011, 01:38 PM
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had many issues with family over payments. Finally dad agrees to pay me two weeks at a time and for the past two payments has done fine. He shows up today, a day late and hands me a check for one week.
I am so over this I want to quit.

I'm sick about it. I'm done with the disrespect, the poverty wages, the MESS, the stress, the 14 hours days.


aaaaaahhhhh!

I called a daycare center about a possible job and they do have positions. They give half off employee childcare.

Problem is with the low rate of pay that would be half my paycheck.

the other problem is that I'd be on foot, which is fine for me but wouldn't work for two kids in a stroller.

I feel so stuck and so miserable right now.

I've been in the red for I don't know how long.

My kids' father is a drunk and has done nothing for their support financially. I obviously can't count on him for any child care either.

I'm on the brink today.

I haven't had the energy or motivation or money to improve my program and even if I did the market is crap here. complete crap.

Hopefully a good night's sleep will change perspective.
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  #152  
Old 12-07-2011, 09:28 AM
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Sorry to hear you are having such a hard time. Can you make parents pay each week? Thats what I do. They have to bring the check for the week before by Tuesday or Wednesday for the previous week. I had to stop letting ballances go into arrears cause when it comes to parents paying bills
Daycare is on the bottom of their priority list. I got tired of the sob story's! I don't take the child if they don't pay. That way it doesn't keep building up. I hold their spot for the rest of the week at no charge and if they can't pay then I terminate care without notice. What are we supposed to survive on? We have to get paid!
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  #153  
Old 12-07-2011, 03:38 PM
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Default Venting and way off daycare topic....

...anyone know of a forum where we can "chat" about our in-law issues? Pretty please?
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  #154  
Old 12-07-2011, 05:58 PM
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...anyone know of a forum where we can "chat" about our in-law issues? Pretty please?
The member's only off topic forum!!
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  #155  
Old 12-08-2011, 07:24 AM
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Last night I went to a child care association meeting and as I came out at the end I realized that someone had hit the bumper of my new van . I am so PISSED!! They hit it so hard that it dented my bumper towards my trunk and I couldn't get it open. I got home and was so mad that I had a hard time telling DH, I was SO ANGRY I was on the verge of tears! My DH had to kick the bumper to get it so that I could at least get my trunk opened Grrr. It's the holiday season, why not just leave me a note?
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  #156  
Old 12-09-2011, 07:17 AM
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Sucky morning so far...trying to pick it up and have something great to post in the 31 Days of Happy thread later today!
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  #157  
Old 12-09-2011, 02:54 PM
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@&#%!!!! Dcm "forgot" her check book.She offered to mail it!! It's Friday, what a way to end the week with no payment.
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  #158  
Old 12-11-2011, 06:23 PM
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"Precious Snowflake" strikes again!

We were out to dinner tonight with some friends and their kids. The almost 4 year old (not mine) began waving her knife around wildly in the air, and Mom took it from her. She began throwing a fit, so Mom gave it back and told her that she could swing it as long as she didn't do so over her head.

Wow. Just wow.

I never know what to do/say in these situations. It's not my business to interfere with how they parent their children, but come ON!!!!!
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Old 12-12-2011, 03:14 AM
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"Precious Snowflake" strikes again!

We were out to dinner tonight with some friends and their kids. The almost 4 year old (not mine) began waving her knife around wildly in the air, and Mom took it from her. She began throwing a fit, so Mom gave it back and told her that she could swing it as long as she didn't do so over her head.

Wow. Just wow.

I never know what to do/say in these situations. It's not my business to interfere with how they parent their children, but come ON!!!!!



I think I would have opened my big, fat mouth for that one! I also have trouble deciding whether to say something to friends kids when we're all together. Sometimes it's easy because the kids will gravitate towards me and I can step in easily but in a situation at a table..... I might just have to throw Mom down and smack some sense into her.
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Old 12-12-2011, 10:55 AM
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UGH!!!!! my helper is so incompetent. She's been here for 4 months and still gives the wrong pacis to the babies. They each have their own type so there should be no confusion!!!! ugh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And one tends to get sick all the time and giving him the wrong paci only adds to it -
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  #161  
Old 12-13-2011, 01:03 PM
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Default I just want to stay home and live cheap...

U know, we buy everything thrift store.... don't have cable tv, don't spend a lot of money except for housing, food, etc... shoot, we don't even have a car payment right now.... however, with old cars, we have to start thinking about potential repairs....

I just want to be able to be an old-fashioned stay home mom... I home school and I want to be able to have enough gas money to run to the park once or twice a week. That's it!

My gripe is how the economy doesn't support old-fashioned ways of living now a days. It just shouldn't be REQUIRED that we have two income houses. We are great providers and all, but really, look at the state of the country and our kids these days....

Maybe we are missing being home with a GOOD mom and being raised in a family with old-fashioned values. Maybe the whole Dad gets home from work at five or six and the family eats dinner together thing is so vital that taking those roles away has been the biggest cause of the decline of our country....

Just a thought....

now, since I AM trying to stay home... some one tell me how to get my trash bill paid this week... while still having enough left over for Christmas dinner..... any suggestions????

LOL!
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Old 12-13-2011, 03:19 PM
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Krissy,
I know exactly how you feel. I can't wait to be just a stay at home, homeschooling mom again. An interesting read is The Two-Income Myth. It discusses how our society came to require two incomes to survive. Keep up the good work!
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Old 12-13-2011, 08:10 PM
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Not exactly daycare related...

Had a good day, unexpected early day. Was supposed to have kids here 'til 9:30, but they're dad got sick. My last kids left today at 5p. That doesn't happen often.

Well, my odd (16) and her bf got into an argument via text. She made a joke, he, apparently doesn't share her sense of humor, and well, we all know sarcasm isn't read well (without proper annotation). He told her he was done texting her tonight, and told her not to call. She got all crabby, bringing down the mood in the house.

My DH drives truck and is gone right now. He called me about an hour ago, upset because he lost his key ring. He thinks they fell into the trash, and it got emptied earlier today. He has the ignition key, but lost his other keys. It had the trailer padlock on there. Long story, he had a meat load, some damaged boxes were rejected, but the meat was ok. He threw it in the trailer (temp controlled trailer) with the load he is hauling now and bought a new fridge for his truck today for the meat. Fridge ok to run now, he went to take the meat out of the trailer and put it in his fridge (company was going to throw it, nothing was wrong with it, just damaged box). Anyway, he can't find his keys and can't get into the trailer. He's upset because he feels it's 500 wasted. Because he could have just thrown the meat in the first place, saved the $500 on the fridge, and likely not lost his keys. We're talking maybe $100 worth of high-end deli (not yet sliced) type meat. Now he has to either pay to have the lock cut. It's a high end lock and a regular bolt cutter won't do the trick. OR Shut the temp control off on the trailer (it's not supposed to be on) and let the meat spoil, or deliver a cold load that's supposed to be not refrigerated... Not sure what he's hauling. Anyway, we spent 37 minutes on the phone with him crabby the whole time, and not really talking, just there and very irritable.

In both situations there is nothing I can do, and now I'm feeling kind of grumpy.
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Old 12-14-2011, 01:20 PM
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Default Jeans with zipper, shoes with laces, button up shirt...

on an infant? Seriously? This is a daycare not fashion week. Does she seriously not realize how much more time and effort it takes to change a diaper or get ready to go outside with such ridiculous clothing? Ugh!
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Old 12-20-2011, 04:35 AM
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Interviewed for a newborn on Friday, they were all set to go for today. No call no show. Nice. I've been up and down all night anxious for new client and up since 530 waiting for them to arrive.

Of course I've been struggling with backbone and this new client that I thought was willing to pay a bit more and comply with policies was a very encouraging incentive and morale booster.

Darn it, darn it, darn it.
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Old 12-20-2011, 06:26 AM
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Apparently, "Everyone, be quiet! I'm trying to get the baby to sleep!" means, "Be quiet for five seconds and then scream as LOUD AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN." Do this three times, even after being reminded AGAIN to use quiet voices. Grin and giggle like a maniac when the baby wakes back up, cries, and your daycare provider knows that now the baby won't get to sleep until almost noon.

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Old 12-20-2011, 06:54 AM
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Originally Posted by SilverSabre25 View Post
Apparently, "Everyone, be quiet! I'm trying to get the baby to sleep!" means, "Be quiet for five seconds and then scream as LOUD AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN." Do this three times, even after being reminded AGAIN to use quiet voices. Grin and giggle like a maniac when the baby wakes back up, cries, and your daycare provider knows that now the baby won't get to sleep until almost noon.

I had them in five separate locations doing 5 separate QUIET things this morning for the very same reason.....the week before Christmas sucks.
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Old 12-21-2011, 10:41 AM
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I am so glad that I found this thread today! It has been one of those days. The 6 month old is teething and has cried non-stop all day. He eats, then cries. This is usually my best baby, but the screaming.... Mom is a nurse and doesn't send anything for him at all! Can I get some Ambesol please!
The Terrible Three are here all day for two weeks. They are usually only part-timers, but school is out. OMG! I need a break!

Sigh, OK. I feel a little better now.
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Old 12-21-2011, 01:01 PM
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I am so glad that I found this thread today! It has been one of those days. The 6 month old is teething and has cried non-stop all day. He eats, then cries. This is usually my best baby, but the screaming.... Mom is a nurse and doesn't send anything for him at all! Can I get some Ambesol please!
The Terrible Three are here all day for two weeks. They are usually only part-timers, but school is out. OMG! I need a break!

Sigh, OK. I feel a little better now.
Welcome to the Daycare.com Forum! I've upgraded your status. You can post freely now.
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  #170  
Old 12-22-2011, 08:30 AM
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Worst day ever - feeling soooooooooo unappreciated right now by 75% of my DCP and trying to stop from taking it out on the kids
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  #171  
Old 12-22-2011, 02:52 PM
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Worst day ever - feeling soooooooooo unappreciated right now by 75% of my DCP and trying to stop from taking it out on the kids
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  #172  
Old 12-23-2011, 12:37 PM
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Worst day ever - feeling soooooooooo unappreciated right now by 75% of my DCP and trying to stop from taking it out on the kids
I know that feeling. I usually blow bubbles for them. The deep breaths help calm me and their joy and laughter help me turn my focus on them vs their parents.

My vent is that I have a drop in who was going to start 4 days a week soon decided to give her current provider another chance because the provider started crying when given the two week notice. Maybe I should have started crying about her not being here. I cried after getting off the phone and am still very sad about the whole situation. The kid is a great baby and I think she would fit in here very quickly. The kid was here on drop-in today so I made a hand print plaque for the parents in a hope that they will change their minds. I'm also going to include a note of her day since she's had a terrific day. Then I'm going to back off and what will be will be.
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Old 12-27-2011, 04:52 PM
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had many issues with family over payments. Finally dad agrees to pay me two weeks at a time and for the past two payments has done fine. He shows up today, a day late and hands me a check for one week.
I am so over this I want to quit.

I'm sick about it. I'm done with the disrespect, the poverty wages, the MESS, the stress, the 14 hours days.


aaaaaahhhhh!

I called a daycare center about a possible job and they do have positions. They give half off employee childcare.

Problem is with the low rate of pay that would be half my paycheck.

the other problem is that I'd be on foot, which is fine for me but wouldn't work for two kids in a stroller.

I feel so stuck and so miserable right now.

I've been in the red for I don't know how long.

My kids' father is a drunk and has done nothing for their support financially. I obviously can't count on him for any child care either.

I'm on the brink today.

I haven't had the energy or motivation or money to improve my program and even if I did the market is crap here. complete crap.

Hopefully a good night's sleep will change perspective.
I know how you feel! I don't want to go back to work tomorrow!
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Old 01-05-2012, 04:59 PM
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my complaint of the day is parents thinking your open at this time and closed at this time and other kids are here so I will just leave lil tommy and amy there too....ummm no. Its says in my contract my business hours are not your contracted hours, and I willl only have your child for 9 hours. I ended it with im a very patient person, but Im also human!!!!!!!!! just saying!
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Old 01-09-2012, 07:45 AM
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Ohh Happy monday....DCD drops 2 yrs old in this morning putting him on the potty and saying Im done with the diapers I worked hard all weekend and he only had 1 accident. Heres his undies and some extra pants. Hmmm ok this isnt a first time dad, this is his 3 rd boy ive raised. So him & DCM know my policy about not putting them into underwear/ being unsanitary to the playroom etc..I guess I will entertain this today but if he cant get through the day, im putting pullups on him. Cuz Im not going to steam clean my carpets all night after working a 10 hr day. Ughhh.
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Old 01-09-2012, 07:48 AM
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had many issues with family over payments. Finally dad agrees to pay me two weeks at a time and for the past two payments has done fine. He shows up today, a day late and hands me a check for one week.
I am so over this I want to quit.

I'm sick about it. I'm done with the disrespect, the poverty wages, the MESS, the stress, the 14 hours days.


aaaaaahhhhh!

I called a daycare center about a possible job and they do have positions. They give half off employee childcare.

Problem is with the low rate of pay that would be half my paycheck.

the other problem is that I'd be on foot, which is fine for me but wouldn't work for two kids in a stroller.

I feel so stuck and so miserable right now.

I've been in the red for I don't know how long.

My kids' father is a drunk and has done nothing for their support financially. I obviously can't count on him for any child care either.

I'm on the brink today.

I haven't had the energy or motivation or money to improve my program and even if I did the market is crap here. complete crap.

Hopefully a good night's sleep will change perspective.
I have my parents pay a week in advance when they start then every friday, that ways im getting paid up front for the follwing week. If they want to pay every 2 weeks its the same, its up front. And if you miss a payment then just dont plan on showing up cuz I dont work for free. And neither would they , remind them of that.
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Old 01-09-2012, 09:58 AM
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Ugh. One of the babies is crabby today. I don't know how much longer I'm going to be able to take this with two babies that are the same age... I'm fighting exhaustion and morning sickness too.

but I HATE to terminate care - she's a first time Mom and just went back to work. I'd feel like SUCH a butthead. Ugh!!
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Old 01-11-2012, 06:26 AM
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So monday i had a child forget there snow pants which is fine because i have extras, well i said that when the dad said oh you forgot your snow pants looks like you cant play outside. First off since when is it a 4yr olds responsibility to remember his snowpants, well ever since monday he hasn't brought his snowpants im wondering if now its because i said i had extras!! ughh parents!!
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Old 01-11-2012, 07:59 AM
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Children would NOT be quiet, kept finding noisy thing after noisy thing to do, and woke the sleeping baby.

Nothign makes me grouchier than a woken baby.
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Old 01-11-2012, 12:37 PM
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So annoyed with this mother. This is the baby I have been watching for 4 mos. He has sensory issues, will hardly eat, is still completely on a bottle. Has been fighting major constipation since she switched him to milk a month before his first birthday (in Sept). And parents don't really feel it is something to worry about. He also still freaks out when any new person is around. Even my mother, who has been my substitute off and on since he started.

Last Wed eve I came down with the stomach flu. My schoolager had it Tuesday night, she stayed home but was upstairs on Wed. I texted all the parents around 8pm and closed for Thursday (I don't have dck on Fri). I was sick for two days. Well...this morning(Wed a week later), this mother calls and says "Dcb just threw up all over me. You better tell the other parents because their kids will be getting it too. I don't know if he will be there tomorrow. Hopefully he only throws up this one time." I felt like I was being slapped across the face. Who knows if it is even the same thing I had, that was a full week ago, usually the stomach flu travels more quickly than that.

Also, I got a phone call from someone that this family had given my number. This woman says, "I know that baby is leaving in January, so I'm wondering if you have any openings?" Geez, that's the first I've heard of it?

I can feel the passive aggressive vibes from this woman a lot lately. I've also had payment issues from her. For awhile they were out of checks and the bank screwed up the order. So she paid late for about 4 times from that. When I finally called her out on it she acted like this would never happen again, it's just that the bank screwed up the checks. Guess what? About every other week she forgets her check book and says her husband will pay at pick up. He never does. She brings a check the next day...ugh. I'm going to copy the page of the contract that explains the $5 per day late fee and hand that to her next week when she trys to pull it again.

You ladies are so right! Don't give them an inch...they will take a mile. Guess us newbies have to learn it the hard way.
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Old 01-11-2012, 04:48 PM
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...do parents think they don't have to BATHE their children in the winter??

I got so tired of smelling stinky breath, feet and butts! And I can't give everybody a birdbath in the sink!
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  #182  
Old 01-13-2012, 08:25 PM
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Oh my god

Why is it, so FREAKING hard, to remember to pay every Friday for daycare? You do it every week, the same amount......why can't you think "Hey, it's Friday and I'm picking up my kids - now would be a good time to pay my provider for all the hard work she does?"

It's two weeks into the new year and every.single.one of my parents have been late last week and this week. I've had to issue late fees for each parent and, of course, every parent through a fit and claimed they thought they had all day to pay on Fridays.

I made over $200 extra from just late fees and I'm still so frustrated. I had to ask for extentions for my cable and phone bill and I've never had to do that before because with MMK I don't get my money until the following Friday.

I conducted this email and sent it to each parent:

Dear Families,

FINAL WARNING: Tuition Payments are due every Friday by 6:00pm. Failure to pay for tuition on time will result in termination of child care services.

Parents are highly encourged to participate in Auto-Pay with childcarepay.com

Thank you,
QueenBee


I have a large Waiting List and I am prepared to start dropping families if I have to charge 1 more late fee. I will miss the kids like crazy but I will not be late on another one of my bills.
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Old 01-15-2012, 01:34 PM
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Default Feeling like calling in sick

Last week was such a hard week. I have the worst head cold...just like 3 of my dck's. Behaviors seemed to be at an all time high on Friday, with everyone bickering and potty training not going well. I have one dcb who is not happy unless he is causing a situation. If two girls are playing quietly with dolls, he will do a windmill with his arms and roll into them. Yelling and crying ensues... My dcbaby is sick with the same headcold and will not sleep and is super fussy. It's Sunday and I want to call in sick 2mor!! Can't seem to get motivated...
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Old 01-15-2012, 01:51 PM
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Originally Posted by SilverSabre25 View Post
Apparently, "Everyone, be quiet! I'm trying to get the baby to sleep!" means, "Be quiet for five seconds and then scream as LOUD AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN." Do this three times, even after being reminded AGAIN to use quiet voices. Grin and giggle like a maniac when the baby wakes back up, cries, and your daycare provider knows that now the baby won't get to sleep until almost noon.

This just made me smile... I am in this situation almost daily and to top it off, when the baby does wake up from the yelling- one little girl will almost daily, feel the need to bust into the room that I'm trying to get the baby to sleep in, slam the door against the wall with a loud BANG, and yell, "Baby's up?"
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Old 01-15-2012, 04:14 PM
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Oh my god

Why is it, so FREAKING hard, to remember to pay every Friday for daycare? You do it every week, the same amount......why can't you think "Hey, it's Friday and I'm picking up my kids - now would be a good time to pay my provider for all the hard work she does?"

It's two weeks into the new year and every.single.one of my parents have been late last week and this week. I've had to issue late fees for each parent and, of course, every parent through a fit and claimed they thought they had all day to pay on Fridays.

I made over $200 extra from just late fees and I'm still so frustrated. I had to ask for extentions for my cable and phone bill and I've never had to do that before because with MMK I don't get my money until the following Friday.

I conducted this email and sent it to each parent:

Dear Families,

FINAL WARNING: Tuition Payments are due every Friday by 6:00pm. Failure to pay for tuition on time will result in termination of child care services.

Parents are highly encourged to participate in Auto-Pay with childcarepay.com

Thank you,
QueenBee


I have a large Waiting List and I am prepared to start dropping families if I have to charge 1 more late fee. I will miss the kids like crazy but I will not be late on another one of my bills.
DO you have payment due on the Fri. before the week of daycare, or Fri. after the week of daycare?
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Old 01-16-2012, 05:16 PM
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Default blue Monday

On Friday I lost a child that I have become very attached too and today I really missed him Sometimes I really worry about the parents who take there children somewhere else stating it's to expensive and wants to pay less than $500.00 for an infant and two sibling, I don't understand it. Some just don't appreciate us for what we do. I am more sorry for the children.
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Old 01-17-2012, 12:06 PM
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More like ramblings than venting but stuff on my mind that I want to write out.
Rambling thought 1: I have two clients who are having babies and I have agreed to have both babies start in August. I usually have everyone renew contracts at the start of September so the older kids will have new contracts in Sept and the babies contracts will start in August. I want to raise one family's rate because it is $70/week under what I charge new clients. Baby is going to be on new rate and will have a $50 sibling discount bring baby's total to $20 over sibling's total. I want to raise sibling's total $20 so it's even with baby's. I feel like the timing on this is bad because they know they'll have two kids to pay for soon but I'm sure have no idea that come Sept they'll be paying more for kid 1 too nor that baby will actually be higher than first kid. The other family I'm leaving at the lower rate because I already told her what the rate would be and I don't go back on my word though I'm kicking myself for the way I phrased it.
Rambling though 2: I've been doing lots of reading starting with why we have to give kids so much peanut butter when less still equates to meat by way of protein at least with the brand I get. So with all my reading I find that we get way more protein than we need and that veggies (potatoes, lettuce, carrots) all have the protein we need and more than enough. I also found that milk leaches calcium from the body so it does no good for calcium intake and is completely unnecessary past getting it from mom. So I've decided to stop drinking milk and eating most meats (especially since most sources have hormones and such that I've been trying to get away from anyway). Further into this craziness of mine I've discovered that the gov't is paying me to continue to feed kids meat and milk not because it's proven healthy for the kids but because it helps the meat, milk, and oil companies who in turn help the gov't officials. Seems to me like we've turned into a gov't by and for the corporations rather than by and for the people. Many many myths came to light in my searches for increasing my health and the only thing keeping me from changing the kid's diet is that I wouldn't get reimbursed and still depend on that money.
Rambling thought 3: My kids (all daycare kids) have gotten a bit too dependent on my involvement to stay out of trouble and really play. The older ones just sit around waiting for me to be in the room so they can talk to me about things they've already told me. The younger ones stuff toys into every crevice they can find and hang on the older ones for attention. Go play just sends one kid into tears like it's the worse thing in the world. While I'm making lunch the kids get withdrawn from each other and wander around aimlessly not really playing and not talking to anyone. I only have one great talker all the rest are learning. I keep trying to get the best talker to go tell her stories to the other kids and that just leads to her being withdrawn. Worries me a little bit as to how she'll be when the two babies start and are occupying my time considerably.
Rambling thought 4: I must be doing something right since all my families love me and I'm full as I want to be as I'll have 6 full timers when the babies start and possibly still have 2 waiting for when I have an opening for their kid.
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Old 01-17-2012, 01:52 PM
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Rambling though 2: I've been doing lots of reading starting with why we have to give kids so much peanut butter when less still equates to meat by way of protein at least with the brand I get. So with all my reading I find that we get way more protein than we need and that veggies (potatoes, lettuce, carrots) all have the protein we need and more than enough. I also found that milk leaches calcium from the body so it does no good for calcium intake and is completely unnecessary past getting it from mom. So I've decided to stop drinking milk and eating most meats (especially since most sources have hormones and such that I've been trying to get away from anyway). Further into this craziness of mine I've discovered that the gov't is paying me to continue to feed kids meat and milk not because it's proven healthy for the kids but because it helps the meat, milk, and oil companies who in turn help the gov't officials. Seems to me like we've turned into a gov't by and for the corporations rather than by and for the people. Many many myths came to light in my searches for increasing my health and the only thing keeping me from changing the kid's diet is that I wouldn't get reimbursed and still depend on that money.
I have an issue with that, too. Watch any documentary on food and you will see how much the government has a say in what we eat. Really scary. If gov't really had people's best interests in mind, we would be reimbursed more for organic, vegetarian/vegan meals and more raw foods. We become trapped between knowing what we want to/should do, and what we actually can afford to do.
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Old 01-17-2012, 03:02 PM
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Rambling though 2: I've been doing lots of reading starting with why we have to give kids so much peanut butter when less still equates to meat by way of protein at least with the brand I get. So with all my reading I find that we get way more protein than we need and that veggies (potatoes, lettuce, carrots) all have the protein we need and more than enough. I also found that milk leaches calcium from the body so it does no good for calcium intake and is completely unnecessary past getting it from mom. So I've decided to stop drinking milk and eating most meats (especially since most sources have hormones and such that I've been trying to get away from anyway). Further into this craziness of mine I've discovered that the gov't is paying me to continue to feed kids meat and milk not because it's proven healthy for the kids but because it helps the meat, milk, and oil companies who in turn help the gov't officials. Seems to me like we've turned into a gov't by and for the corporations rather than by and for the people. Many many myths came to light in my searches for increasing my health and the only thing keeping me from changing the kid's diet is that I wouldn't get reimbursed and still depend on that money.
Yeah...this is why I'm glad I'm not on a food program. Although, Americans *DO* need more protein in their diets, as a whole, and many fewer grains. You are right about everything else though. I don't give milk with meals, just water, or occasionally with breakfast or a snack. I count other calcium/protein sources instead. Good luck finding a happy medium, and kudos for realizing that the government's idea of "healthy" is NOT. Nor is it scientific or anything. It's dumb.
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Old 01-17-2012, 04:03 PM
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Originally Posted by SilverSabre25 View Post
Yeah...this is why I'm glad I'm not on a food program. Although, Americans *DO* need more protein in their diets, as a whole, and many fewer grains. You are right about everything else though. I don't give milk with meals, just water, or occasionally with breakfast or a snack. I count other calcium/protein sources instead. Good luck finding a happy medium, and kudos for realizing that the government's idea of "healthy" is NOT. Nor is it scientific or anything. It's dumb.
Here's the site I was reading about protein: http://michaelbluejay.com/veg/protein.html

I'm not even sure what to believe at this point. I'm not going off the food program because I'm not sure what the parents would say if I all of a sudden said "I'm going off the food program and no longer serving milk or meat." Not that I'd be that blunt. For now at least I'll just play along with the gov't but maybe start offering water along side the milk and start serving the kids family style and make the veggie dishes far more delicious than the meat and grains.
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  #191  
Old 01-17-2012, 04:09 PM
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I have an issue with that, too. Watch any documentary on food and you will see how much the government has a say in what we eat. Really scary. If gov't really had people's best interests in mind, we would be reimbursed more for organic, vegetarian/vegan meals and more raw foods. We become trapped between knowing what we want to/should do, and what we actually can afford to do.
I've seen a couple and they are just gross. I've been slowly going toward vegetarian meals but it's difficult to make the change especially when I'm repairing my house and getting it as efficient as possible. My husband has suggested we save for new windows, and solar panels and then we can go as organic and vegetarian as we want to. In the mean time he and I have stopped drinking milk and we'll stop buying meat and get more into the alternative proteins according to the food program.
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Old 01-18-2012, 05:58 AM
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Default Letter to Early Arriving Parents - Help I am a pushover

What would you do?

I have parents contracted 6-4 everyday (10 hours). Last Monday, parents arrived 15 minutes early, at 5:45am. I figured it was a fluke, but the next day, I made sure that my lights were off in my house until 5:55- well, I planned on doing that anyway. They came knocking at 5:50, and again, the next day. DCD asked if it was ok to come 5 mins early DCM got a new job (at least I knew now why they were so early), and I agreed, because I am a pushover and don't know how to tell people no. The next 2 days they came at 5:50...

I am NOT good at confrontation and can allow emotions to affect what I say, so I decided to write a letter. I included a copy of their contract, and a letter stating that their contracted hours are 6-4, and that I will honor the 5 mins early, but if they need to drop off earlier then they have to pay an extended day fee (they were referred by a friend and I gave them a discount- they are paying the least, their kid is the youngest, and they stay the longest; I will never make that mistake again).

Anyway, DCD sends me a text and asks me to talk to them in person next time instead of writing a letter, and (this is the part that upset me), that if things aren't working out to just let them know. I thought that was that I did- let them know, professionally, and in a non-confrontational manner, that they cannot get 10 extra free minutes of daycare per day (and I didn't word it that way- I was very nice). Why would they assume things arent working out? Their kid is great, I love having him- but I do not love having him at 5:45am when he is supposed to be here at 6:00.

Why do I feel like I am the one in the wrong here? My husband says I am just overly-sensitive and that I care too much what other people think. Ugh- thoughts?
Was it bad to write a professional letter, offering them longer hours for a higher fee?
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  #193  
Old 01-18-2012, 08:55 AM
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Default For those of you who have parents who pay consistently late.

I was having problems with a few families who pay consitently late. (I require payment on Monday for that week) In my contract I have a clause that you can have two seperate occurances per year where you can pay up to 4 days late without getting charged a late fee after the 4th day you get charged regardless. So I put a chart up on my bulliten board at the sign in table right in front where everyone can see it and it has all the parents names on it. When they pay I put the date in the square of the date that it was paid. If they are late I highlight the empty box with a yellow highlighter (so they know their will be a late fee on their next weeks pay). If they used one of their 2 non penalty I highlight it in green once they pay with the date they paid. If it has gone 4 days with still no payment I mark the box in pink. Which means the next daycare day they are not allowed to bring their child to care without payment.

Seems a bit complicated but the idea is simple. No parent wants to be called out for not paying on time. You could do something even as simple as putting their name on the bulliten board as "So-n-So" NOT PAID. The parents got the hang of it REALLY quick and after the third week of doing this I have only had 3 late payments and they were made on Tuesday. (Been doing this for about 18 months now) Then you have proof and so do they, of late fees charged and they cant say well I paid on time. I used to get so frustrated with this every week and would take it so personally.

Sometimes you just have to take it back to basics. Remember when you were in kindergarten and you had the color coded behavior charts? Same idea just for people that are supposed to act like adults. I had a few balks at it but I just explained that I have to be consitant with everyone and I have to get paid so I can have the food, curriculum, heat, lights, and water, ready for them when they get here. Besides would they like it if on pay day their boss told them oh I forgot my check book can I get it to you in 5 days!

I have one parent that I know is struggling and she called me one night and said my child support check didnt come through and I really dont have the money to pay you until it goes through. I let her know that I so appreciated the call and hoped that she would be up front with me in the future. We agreed that this weeks payment would be due on Wednesday for half the weekly rate (she needed to give me a post dated check for Wednesday on Monday still) and that the other half would be due with next weeks payment. I wrote it up she signed it on Monday and gave me the post dated ck and I marked it on the sheet as paid on Monday on time. No late fees. I let her know again I am more than willing to work with her if she is having a hard time but she needs to let me know ahead of time so we can come up with a plan before its due rather than just assuming I dont mind. She felt like I was being understanding and I didnt feel disrespected! I'v been doing this long enough though that you can't please everyone and there are always be "THOSE PARENTS" Everyone hope you are having a wonderful day!

Last edited by Blackcat31; 01-18-2012 at 09:03 AM.
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  #194  
Old 01-18-2012, 12:09 PM
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Default I HATE pacifiers, binkys, suckers etc...

I have one 2yr old that only gets a paci at nap but insists on trying to climb the highest mountain to get it throughout the day. He's a bear in the morning and comes in sucking on one so mom can get him out the door. As soon as he comes in I take it and it's meltdown city. Every time since August. I want to start cutting them (paci). Drives me nuts!!!

I also have a baby (4 mo) that needs one every minute of every day regardless. If it falls out when she sleeps it's screaming bloody murder. So far every half hour it sounds like she's being murdered cause it falls out. She can't do tummy time or she screams. Doesn't do anything without it. Only time she's happy is when she's sucking on it or the bottle. Ate 4 oz for me today (she's been here 7 hrs) and just wants the paci.

Please if you see me, kidnap me!!!
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  #195  
Old 01-18-2012, 12:15 PM
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I have one 2yr old that only gets a paci at nap but insists on trying to climb the highest mountain to get it throughout the day. He's a bear in the morning and comes in sucking on one so mom can get him out the door. As soon as he comes in I take it and it's meltdown city. Every time since August. I want to start cutting them (paci). Drives me nuts!!!

I also have a baby (4 mo) that needs one every minute of every day regardless. If it falls out when she sleeps it's screaming bloody murder. So far every half hour it sounds like she's being murdered cause it falls out. She can't do tummy time or she screams. Doesn't do anything without it. Only time she's happy is when she's sucking on it or the bottle. Ate 4 oz for me today (she's been here 7 hrs) and just wants the paci.

Please if you see me, kidnap me!!!
Calgon take me away!!!
I had a 1 3/4 yr. old, still with a paci 24/7- I recently placed a new policy in the newsletter regarding pacis. At the age of one, your child should be paci free, if they cannot go without it at naptime, lovies, blankets, they will be kept in their pack and play for naptime only. This little boy is almost 2, parents still have his pacifier in at home, on the way here, etc.. he onlly receives it at naptime only here, and he has done fine with it. I was so sick of him coming in, trying to get it away from him, screaming, etc. then if he let it fall out of his mouth, then the other one yr. old would have it in her mouth, or going to her mouth, losing it, etc. etc.... The Mom didn't understand it at first. Just like his lovie/blanket, he only has that at naptime as well. When he had it here, all the time, if a child, even touched it, he would scream bloody murder. UGHH!!!!!! It's worked very well here!! He still is only saying about 4-5 words, because of the paci being in his mouth, which I think is terrible, but I am not his parents!
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  #196  
Old 01-19-2012, 06:06 AM
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I think that babies can sense when you're not feeling well, and the worse you feel, the worse they are.

I have (normally) the most laid back baby in the world here, but as I get sicker, he gets fussier and grouchier. He used to lie happily content and play for up to a half hour at a time...now he's screaming after five minutes.

It makes me nauseus to rock, to bounce, to bend over, or to pretty much do anything other than lay down.

UGH. Kill me.
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  #197  
Old 01-19-2012, 06:44 AM
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So annoyed with this mother. This is the baby I have been watching for 4 mos. He has sensory issues, will hardly eat, is still completely on a bottle. Has been fighting major constipation since she switched him to milk a month before his first birthday (in Sept). And parents don't really feel it is something to worry about. He also still freaks out when any new person is around. Even my mother, who has been my substitute off and on since he started.

Last Wed eve I came down with the stomach flu. My schoolager had it Tuesday night, she stayed home but was upstairs on Wed. I texted all the parents around 8pm and closed for Thursday (I don't have dck on Fri). I was sick for two days. Well...this morning(Wed a week later), this mother calls and says "Dcb just threw up all over me. You better tell the other parents because their kids will be getting it too. I don't know if he will be there tomorrow. Hopefully he only throws up this one time." I felt like I was being slapped across the face. Who knows if it is even the same thing I had, that was a full week ago, usually the stomach flu travels more quickly than that.

Also, I got a phone call from someone that this family had given my number. This woman says, "I know that baby is leaving in January, so I'm wondering if you have any openings?" Geez, that's the first I've heard of it?

I can feel the passive aggressive vibes from this woman a lot lately. I've also had payment issues from her. For awhile they were out of checks and the bank screwed up the order. So she paid late for about 4 times from that. When I finally called her out on it she acted like this would never happen again, it's just that the bank screwed up the checks. Guess what? About every other week she forgets her check book and says her husband will pay at pick up. He never does. She brings a check the next day...ugh. I'm going to copy the page of the contract that explains the $5 per day late fee and hand that to her next week when she trys to pull it again.

You ladies are so right! Don't give them an inch...they will take a mile. Guess us newbies have to learn it the hard way.
I have definately leared the hard way on everything. You make an exception for one, then another, then they all expect it all the time. I was done making exceptions about 7 yrs. ago!!!
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  #198  
Old 01-20-2012, 09:36 AM
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I have decided my dream job would be me, in a cubicle, with no co-workers, and no phone to answer. Don't really care what I do, just as long as I don't have to interact with people. Ugh. It has been a rough few weeks. I am seriously contemplating quitting. It's been a day!
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  #199  
Old 01-20-2012, 10:10 AM
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Originally Posted by krissy_mo View Post
U know, we buy everything thrift store.... don't have cable tv, don't spend a lot of money except for housing, food, etc... shoot, we don't even have a car payment right now.... however, with old cars, we have to start thinking about potential repairs....

I just want to be able to be an old-fashioned stay home mom... I home school and I want to be able to have enough gas money to run to the park once or twice a week. That's it!

My gripe is how the economy doesn't support old-fashioned ways of living now a days. It just shouldn't be REQUIRED that we have two income houses. We are great providers and all, but really, look at the state of the country and our kids these days....

Maybe we are missing being home with a GOOD mom and being raised in a family with old-fashioned values. Maybe the whole Dad gets home from work at five or six and the family eats dinner together thing is so vital that taking those roles away has been the biggest cause of the decline of our country....

Just a thought....

now, since I AM trying to stay home... some one tell me how to get my trash bill paid this week... while still having enough left over for Christmas dinner..... any suggestions????

LOL!
I know this is an older post, but I agree with it so much I just had to say that I wish there was a "like" button on here!!!!
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  #200  
Old 01-21-2012, 04:50 AM
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Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
What would you do?

I have parents contracted 6-4 everyday (10 hours). Last Monday, parents arrived 15 minutes early, at 5:45am. I figured it was a fluke, but the next day, I made sure that my lights were off in my house until 5:55- well, I planned on doing that anyway. They came knocking at 5:50, and again, the next day. DCD asked if it was ok to come 5 mins early DCM got a new job (at least I knew now why they were so early), and I agreed, because I am a pushover and don't know how to tell people no. The next 2 days they came at 5:50...

I am NOT good at confrontation and can allow emotions to affect what I say, so I decided to write a letter. I included a copy of their contract, and a letter stating that their contracted hours are 6-4, and that I will honor the 5 mins early, but if they need to drop off earlier then they have to pay an extended day fee (they were referred by a friend and I gave them a discount- they are paying the least, their kid is the youngest, and they stay the longest; I will never make that mistake again).

Anyway, DCD sends me a text and asks me to talk to them in person next time instead of writing a letter, and (this is the part that upset me), that if things aren't working out to just let them know. I thought that was that I did- let them know, professionally, and in a non-confrontational manner, that they cannot get 10 extra free minutes of daycare per day (and I didn't word it that way- I was very nice). Why would they assume things arent working out? Their kid is great, I love having him- but I do not love having him at 5:45am when he is supposed to be here at 6:00.

Why do I feel like I am the one in the wrong here? My husband says I am just overly-sensitive and that I care too much what other people think. Ugh- thoughts?
Was it bad to write a professional letter, offering them longer hours for a higher fee?
No, it wasn't wrong to write the letter...dad just wants that extra ten minutes and he is trying to scare you. stick to your guns and don't let them dictate your policies. They won't leave, they know they have it good with you.
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