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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Parent Hardly Says Anything to Me
LeslieG 06:24 AM 04-16-2014
I have a parent who half the time doesn't say "hi", "bye", or even acknowledge me. This really bothers me... I take care of her kid all day so I feel like the least she could do is say "hi" or "Good morning" when I do!!

I've never felt like this parent appreciates what I do... I don't know.. is it wrong of me to want at least a "hello", smile or a glance in my direction?!

Just needed to vent!
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MotherNature 06:32 AM 04-16-2014
Nope-That's rude. Is English her first language?
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jenn 06:41 AM 04-16-2014
I think that it is rude. She should at least acknowledge you. I would go out of my way to directly greet her "Hi DCM. How was your evening?" That kind of forces her to respond.
I had a mom when I first started that was the same way. I thought she disliked me. Turned out she was just really socially awkward. After I started approaching her and we were friendly, I asked her about the situation. She told me that she thought she was interrupting if she talked to me, so she just brought in her kid, said goodbye and left. So the whole time, she thought she was helping and I thought she was being rude.
However, at the end of the day, as long as mom brings you a check and isn't blatantly disrespectful, I wouldn't worry about it. Some people are just rude.
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debbiedoeszip 06:44 AM 04-16-2014
Could she be really shy? Or maybe have social skill deficits? How was she during the interview process?

If she isn't shy or anything else like that, then that is really strange. I'd probably let it go if everything else is good (child isn't a problem, pays on time, etc), though. Just think of her as a walking paycheque, LOL.
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TickleMonster 06:53 AM 04-16-2014
Uh yeah talk about rude! I have one parent who mainly speaks Spanish but she atleast says hello or good morning to me. (Can't understand anything else she says though! lol) Maybe gently confront the parent one day and ask if everything is alright or what? Maybe they are just extremely shy? Who knows.
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Blackcat31 06:56 AM 04-16-2014
Originally Posted by LeslieG:
I have a parent who half the time doesn't say "hi", "bye", or even acknowledge me. This really bothers me... I take care of her kid all day so I feel like the least she could do is say "hi" or "Good morning" when I do!!

I've never felt like this parent appreciates what I do... I don't know.. is it wrong of me to want at least a "hello", smile or a glance in my direction?!

Just needed to vent!
Did she speak during the interview?

If she did but doesn't talk much now, I'd be worried and maybe try to address the issue with her as daily conversation and communication is necessary.

If she didn't talk much during the interview, she may just be an severe introvert. I have a DCD that suffers from extreme anxiety when it comes to interacting with other adults, either one on one or in multiples.

He tries hard to deal with it but when he does any of the dropping off or picking up, he comes in and out without a word and will then text me anything he needs/wants me to know. At the end of the day, he'll text me about what the kids' day was like.

I was told about his communication struggles before-hand though so I have no issue accommodating this.
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GKJNIGMN 07:06 AM 04-16-2014
I have a DCM like this. She is extremely odd socially.

We were bringing her youngest outside to her for a period of time because she acted out at pickup. My fiance brought DCG out one day and went to hand the mother her bag. DCM just stared at him. He asked if she wanted the bag and she still just stared at him and said "I don't know, do I?". So he stuck the bag on DCG who then went running to the street. The mother made no move to get the girl so my fiance followed her to make she she didn't run in traffic. DCM, walked past him into the house and layed the money she owed on a table inside the door and then just walked out and left.

We have really awkward exchanges like this on a regular basis with her. Then the next day she will walk in and talk to me like everything is normal. We laugh about it but she is really odd.

I personally don't try to fix it with her because whenever I go out of my way to speak to her she starts asking for favors and special treatment lol
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LeslieG 07:07 AM 04-16-2014
She seemed talkative and friendly during the interview process and I'm pretty sure she's not shy. I guess she could possibly have a little bit of social awkwardness.. Sometimes when she does say something she'll clearly be trying to communicate with me, but will be looking at her daughter the whole time.. like she hardly looks me in the eyes.

But still, part of me still sees it as kind of rude. Even if she is socially awkward, I feel like she could still say "hi" to me (whether she looks at me while she says it or not).
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ihop 07:21 AM 04-16-2014
I have a parent like this. She is very socially awkward when alone. In the interview with her husband she seemed fine but hardly said a word to me at drop and pick up. Didn't even snuggle her newborn before she left. It took over six months until she got comfortable and now talks a little and is friendly and coos at the baby. Oddly enough she is a social worker who interacts with loads of people everyday. Now nine months later she chats up a storm( at least compared to before) and is very friendly with me.

If she's not like my dcm, then she's just rude and im sorry
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Cccdcia 07:22 AM 04-16-2014
I know how you feel, I had a parent just like that for almost two years it was so awkward i dredded pick up time she wouldn't even look at me just in and out after awhile I got tired of saying hello or goodby to so I just started ignoring her too! I had her two kids for 10 plus hours a day I felt I deserved at the very least a hello but?? People are rude I was soooooo glad when she finally gave me her notice!!
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debbiedoeszip 07:24 AM 04-16-2014
<<<<I feel like she could still say "hi" to me (whether she looks at me while she says it or not). >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

She may not be able to (for whatever reason), or she may not see it as necessary or desired from her (for whatever reason). Don't take it personally. If the child is pleasant enough to care for and she pays without hassle, then I'd just let it go.
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EntropyControlSpecialist 08:20 AM 04-16-2014
I'd prefer this over the yackers
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debbiedoeszip 08:46 AM 04-16-2014
I worked in a chain coffee shop (Tim Horton's) in the drive-thru and we had these two people (man and woman; co-workers, apparently) who were regulars. The woman was sometimes driving (so sometimes closest to the window), but would not look at us or talk to us. The guy did all the talking, while she looked straight ahead with a downright hostile look on her face. We used to wonder what her deal was, and finally learned through the grapevine (city of 50k, so word sometimes got around) that she suffers from a crippling form of shyness and the hostile look is to keep people from approaching her.

Apparently she's a very nice person after she gets comfortable with you. She looked like she'd stab you if you tried to talk to her, though.
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cheerfuldom 10:10 AM 04-16-2014
I wouldnt care at all. As long as they pay me and the arrangement as a whole is working out, I really dont care if they are friendly are not as long as she is not being outrageously rude. I pick my battles. I dont need to be friends with my daycare parents and yes, I have worked with some socially awkward people. Not worth wasting time worrying over this.
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Unregistered 10:22 AM 04-16-2014
I'm horribly shy and my fall back is a cheery smile (eye contact is hit n miss). Many times I may intend to speak, but words get lost between the intention to and the timing needed for my delivery not to seem awkward and out of place. I get it, so I would actually be relieved if a daycare parent was this way, providing I felt they were comfortable with the care I was providing.
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TaylorTots 10:33 AM 04-16-2014
I agree with ECS - I would trade all my yackers for quiet ones.

Maybe she is just tired or distracted. I know when I taught pre-k and tutored afterward I was completely exhausted in the morning and at pickup since I was up late planning curriculum, doing paperwork and my DD was not sleeping through the night the best. I require 8-10 hours of sleep. Maybe DCM needs that or more and isn't getting it so she's exhausted whenever you see her? Or she could be having marital issues...financial issues... the list goes on why people zone out and forget social cues.
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Tags:communication - with parents
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