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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Has a DCD Ever Hit On You?
Unregistered 02:31 PM 09-13-2016
Signed out for privacy.
I have a dcf that has been with me four months. Only met dad in the last month He travels frequently for his job, but is now home more often because of a promotion.
My problem is that he is a perv. I have found him to be unnecessarily chatty, and downright flirty with me. I am not a young voluptuous hottie. I am a 45 year old grandma, but I do take good care of myself. I have been married for 25 years I never dress provocatively and I don't believe I have given off ANY signals that I care for him any further than his children are concerned At first I thought it was just me being too sensitive-but Friday my daughter was here when he picked up, and although I had never mentioned it to her or anyone else, she immediately commented on it when he left. I don't know what to do. It's gotten to where I dread the nights he picks up.
I have a dcf that has been with me four months. Only met dad in the last month He travels frequently for his job, but is now home more often because of a promotion.
My problem is that he is a perv. I have found him to be unnecessarily chatty, and downright flirty with me. I am not a young voluptuous hottie. I am a 45 year old grandma, but I do take good care of myself. I have been married for 25 years I never dress provocatively and I don't believe I have given off ANY signals that I care for him any further than his children are concerned At first I thought it was just me being too sensitive-but Friday my daughter was here when he picked up, and although I had never mentioned it to her or anyone else, she immediately commented on it when he left. I don't know what to do. It's gotten to where I dread the nights he picks up.
laundrymom 02:40 PM 09-13-2016
I would be honest w him.
Dad, I'm sure you dont mean anything by it but I am uncomfortable with the casual chatter at pick up. I do enjoy caring for Johnny but feel we should stay on subject when picking up or dropping off.
If he continues then put them on probation.
Dad, I'm sure you dont mean anything by it but I am uncomfortable with the casual chatter at pick up. I do enjoy caring for Johnny but feel we should stay on subject when picking up or dropping off.
If he continues then put them on probation.
Controlled Chaos 02:57 PM 09-13-2016
I would be really blunt.
When he says something that makes you uncomfortable tell him. Just like we name feelings with toddlers and tell them to tell other children "stop, I don't like that".
"When you say ____ it makes me uncomfortable."
"That's an inappropriate way to speak to your child's teacher."
"Would you speak to me that way if your wife was here?"
When he says something that makes you uncomfortable tell him. Just like we name feelings with toddlers and tell them to tell other children "stop, I don't like that".
"When you say ____ it makes me uncomfortable."
"That's an inappropriate way to speak to your child's teacher."
"Would you speak to me that way if your wife was here?"
DaveA 03:04 PM 09-13-2016
Never in my home daycare but a couple time in centers DCMs have done so. I pretty much shrugged it off and steered any conversation back to daycare/ DCK matters. If you are uncomfortable with it you need to have a blunt conversation with him about it.
Originally Posted by laundrymom:
I would be honest w him.
Dad, I'm sure you dont mean anything by it but I am uncomfortable with the casual chatter at pick up. I do enjoy caring for Johnny but feel we should stay on subject when picking up or dropping off.
If he continues then put them on probation.
This would be good. I would also add that tell him any actions you take will be after a conference with BOTH parents.I would be honest w him.
Dad, I'm sure you dont mean anything by it but I am uncomfortable with the casual chatter at pick up. I do enjoy caring for Johnny but feel we should stay on subject when picking up or dropping off.
If he continues then put them on probation.
sharlan 03:19 PM 09-13-2016
Daycare dad, no. Daycare provider's husband, yes.
I would tell him that you are uncomfortable with the conversation . If it happened again I would talk to the wife. If it continued, I'd term.
I would tell him that you are uncomfortable with the conversation . If it happened again I would talk to the wife. If it continued, I'd term.
Unregistered 03:52 PM 09-13-2016
Thank you all for your input. I will have to say something. It's inappropriate and so uncomfortable-and honestly throws me off center for the rest of the day
Puddleduck 04:00 PM 09-13-2016
Yup. Tried to cheat on his wife with me. I told the wife who said "Oh don't mind my husband, he was just drunk."
I termed.
I termed.
Baby Beluga 04:03 PM 09-13-2016
Nope, cant say that one has. I am either really dense or look like an ogre 
In your case, I would just call DCD out. Be professional, but blunt.
In your case, I would just call DCD out. Be professional, but blunt.
Leigh 04:08 PM 09-13-2016
Originally Posted by DaveA:
Never in my home daycare but a couple time in centers DCMs have done so. I pretty much shrugged it off and steered any conversation back to daycare/ DCK matters. If you are uncomfortable with it you need to have a blunt conversation with him about it.
This would be good. I would also add that tell him any actions you take will be after a conference with BOTH parents.
I can't imagine how attractive a man who cares for children would be to a single mother! This isn't a single mom slam, but we all know how hard it is to find a man who is willing to shoulder their share of caring for the own children-to find someone who happily cares for OTHER people's kids? I can see why they found you worth hitting on! Never in my home daycare but a couple time in centers DCMs have done so. I pretty much shrugged it off and steered any conversation back to daycare/ DCK matters. If you are uncomfortable with it you need to have a blunt conversation with him about it.
This would be good. I would also add that tell him any actions you take will be after a conference with BOTH parents.
(assuming they were single, but even married women would find that attractive!).
Mike 04:23 PM 09-13-2016
Originally Posted by Leigh:
I can't imagine how attractive a man who cares for children would be to a single mother! This isn't a single mom slam, but we all know how hard it is to find a man who is willing to shoulder their share of caring for the own children-to find someone who happily cares for OTHER people's kids? I can see why they found you worth hitting on! (assuming they were single, but even married women would find that attractive!).
It wouldn't bother me if a dcm was attracted to me, as long as she's single, since I am too. I can't imagine how attractive a man who cares for children would be to a single mother! This isn't a single mom slam, but we all know how hard it is to find a man who is willing to shoulder their share of caring for the own children-to find someone who happily cares for OTHER people's kids? I can see why they found you worth hitting on!
(assuming they were single, but even married women would find that attractive!).
If she was married, I'd say, "sorry, I don't think your husband would approve". If I were you, I'd just be straight with him and if he continues, let dcm know.
daycare 05:16 PM 09-13-2016
I have ran into this many of times and not trying to sound (I dont know the word) like I have an ego???
I just place myself to where I am the one comfortable. I don't want to assume that they are hitting on me, maybe they are just trying to be friendly to the person that takes care of their child. I have been told I am easy to talk to and that people like talking to me.
I would just be brief and keep it only about the daycare kid. DCD will follow and if he doesn't, then I would say something like, I would like to focus our conversations on dck.
I just place myself to where I am the one comfortable. I don't want to assume that they are hitting on me, maybe they are just trying to be friendly to the person that takes care of their child. I have been told I am easy to talk to and that people like talking to me.
I would just be brief and keep it only about the daycare kid. DCD will follow and if he doesn't, then I would say something like, I would like to focus our conversations on dck.
DaveA 05:47 AM 09-14-2016
Originally Posted by Leigh:
I can't imagine how attractive a man who cares for children would be to a single mother! This isn't a single mom slam, but we all know how hard it is to find a man who is willing to shoulder their share of caring for the own children-to find someone who happily cares for OTHER people's kids? I can see why they found you worth hitting on! (assuming they were single, but even married women would find that attractive!).
I can't imagine how attractive a man who cares for children would be to a single mother! This isn't a single mom slam, but we all know how hard it is to find a man who is willing to shoulder their share of caring for the own children-to find someone who happily cares for OTHER people's kids? I can see why they found you worth hitting on!
(assuming they were single, but even married women would find that attractive!).Dating a DCM is a line I've never gone anywhere near. My first go round in daycare it was my hometown at my Mom's center- way too easy for it to get complicated. I ran into a DCM at the movie theater one time. Talked to her for a couple minutes in the popcorn line. 3 days later someone told my Mom they saw me and DCM on a date.
Let's just say Mom was less than thrilled till she got my side. When I got back into childcare I was married, so no way. A one center I did have a DCM that my aide was always telling me "She's really into you!" and that she was hitting on me and I was too clueless to realize it. I thought my aide was nuts when she kept at it. I remember telling her one time "I didn't care if she names her favorite (toy) after me- it ain't happening!" When DCM got a promotion/ transfer the last day the child was there she gave me a card. The message inside left NOOOO doubt my aide was right.
DW still teases me about it. 
Originally Posted by Mike:
It wouldn't bother me if a dcm was attracted to me, as long as she's single, since I am too. If she was married, I'd say, "sorry, I don't think your husband would approve".
In this day and age not a safe thing to assume. You never know anymore. She might have a "Hall Pass" It wouldn't bother me if a dcm was attracted to me, as long as she's single, since I am too.
If she was married, I'd say, "sorry, I don't think your husband would approve". 
Whenever I would work with Directors about finding/ keeping male employees many would inevitably bring up the male/ female dynamic causing complications. I would tell them about a memo a friend gave me from her (all female staffed) center. It read "We are not it the habit of telling our employees what to do in their personal time. However we discourage our employees from dating the daycare parents. Especially the married ones!" There's a story behind that memo, and I'm sure I don't want to know it.
Mike 07:54 AM 09-14-2016
Originally Posted by DaveA:
In this day and age not a safe thing to assume. You never know anymore. She might have a "Hall Pass"
very true In this day and age not a safe thing to assume. You never know anymore. She might have a "Hall Pass"
Blackcat31 07:59 AM 09-14-2016
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Signed out for privacy.
We have an off topic section that offers you privacy. Signed out for privacy.
Posting as unregistered in the public area opens your post up to ALL readers. The off topic section is available for reading and posting ONLY to registered members. Just so you know.
Ariana 09:40 AM 09-14-2016
Yes I dealt with a flirty dad but it never bothered me. If anything I just told myself I was reading too much into it. I just ignored it and it never affected me in any way except that I would need to cut off the chatter. He once called me in the evening and we chatted for a LOT longer than was appropriate but I couldn't get him off the phone. Again .i just felt I was reading too much into to and let it go.
My current daycare dad catches sneak peeks of my chest area every now and again i just ignore it and cross my arms over my chest as much as I can or grab a sweater before he comes to the door!
My current daycare dad catches sneak peeks of my chest area every now and again
i just ignore it and cross my arms over my chest as much as I can or grab a sweater before he comes to the door!
mommyneedsadayoff 11:08 AM 09-14-2016
I have never had a dad hit on me. All the dads I have worked with have been really nice and friendly and talkative. Some start shy or quiet at first, but for most of them, they get comfortable and we have had great conversations. Sometimes I think they just need to talk o have a conversation that doesn't involve their kids, money, ect. They also meet my husband right away and many of my families know my husband anyway, so I am sure that helps too I have nothing against conversations with dcm's, but at the end of the day, I am kind of tired of thinking or talking about their kids, so a conversation with another adult about all sorts of stuff (current events, local events, the weather) is kind of nice and I think the added bonus is that dads start to feel more comfortable with me, which usually leads to them being more involved in their child's care. I think if it makes you uncomfortable you should end care. Whether you blame it on something else or tell him the truth is up to you, but either way, I imagine the relationship will be tainted and could compromise your business and even just your stress level.
I have nothing against conversations with dcm's, but at the end of the day, I am kind of tired of thinking or talking about their kids, so a conversation with another adult about all sorts of stuff (current events, local events, the weather) is kind of nice and I think the added bonus is that dads start to feel more comfortable with me, which usually leads to them being more involved in their child's care. I think if it makes you uncomfortable you should end care. Whether you blame it on something else or tell him the truth is up to you, but either way, I imagine the relationship will be tainted and could compromise your business and even just your stress level.
LostMyMarbles 11:14 AM 09-14-2016
Originally Posted by Ariana:
Yes I dealt with a flirty dad but it never bothered me. If anything I just told myself I was reading too much into it. I just ignored it and it never affected me in any way except that I would need to cut off the chatter. He once called me in the evening and we chatted for a LOT longer than was appropriate but I couldn't get him off the phone. Again .i just felt I was reading too much into to and let it go.
My current daycare dad catches sneak peeks of my chest area every now and again i just ignore it and cross my arms over my chest as much as I can or grab a sweater before he comes to the door!
Yes I dealt with a flirty dad but it never bothered me. If anything I just told myself I was reading too much into it. I just ignored it and it never affected me in any way except that I would need to cut off the chatter. He once called me in the evening and we chatted for a LOT longer than was appropriate but I couldn't get him off the phone. Again .i just felt I was reading too much into to and let it go.
My current daycare dad catches sneak peeks of my chest area every now and again
i just ignore it and cross my arms over my chest as much as I can or grab a sweater before he comes to the door!Same..grabbed a zip up sweatshirt when he drops off or picks up. I finally said..how is it you have not gotten sued for sexual harassment before? Be respectful to me and my significant other OR you will not be allowed at my house ever again. I told his wife this too. It's all good now...
DaveA 01:35 PM 09-14-2016
I keep coming back to this thread thinking about something.
Let me preface it by saying in OP's post DCD is being a moron because both are married & if it continues she would be right to tell him to go F himself. I'm curious- how much of the reactions do you think are gender based? The example I posted about the DCM above I caught heck from several coworkers (my aide could have been Exhibit A in the gossip thread awhile back) for "leading on a single mom". When my aide set her cap for a single dad there (a local cop) all she got was handcuff jokes. Another center I worked at had a DCM that was a former teacher who married a single DCD. Several staff were unhappy they were still allowed to bring the children because he had "gone after" a girl 10 years younger even though her former co-teacher said she chased him from the beginning. Kind of like when there's a high school student/ teacher story. When it's a guy teacher it's "fry him". If it's a female teacher it's "Where were these teachers when I was in school?"
I'm actually kind of suprised it doesn't happen more often. In childcare we present ourselves as caring, confident, and trustworthy- all traits people like in a partner. People of both genders have trouble reading others. I've been married 15 years and DW still confuses me sometimes.
I'm sure I'm not asking something with a right or wrong answer. Or maybe I'm totally off base and the torches and pitchforks are assembling as we speak.
Thanks
Let me preface it by saying in OP's post DCD is being a moron because both are married & if it continues she would be right to tell him to go F himself. I'm curious- how much of the reactions do you think are gender based? The example I posted about the DCM above I caught heck from several coworkers (my aide could have been Exhibit A in the gossip thread awhile back) for "leading on a single mom". When my aide set her cap for a single dad there (a local cop) all she got was handcuff jokes. Another center I worked at had a DCM that was a former teacher who married a single DCD. Several staff were unhappy they were still allowed to bring the children because he had "gone after" a girl 10 years younger even though her former co-teacher said she chased him from the beginning. Kind of like when there's a high school student/ teacher story. When it's a guy teacher it's "fry him". If it's a female teacher it's "Where were these teachers when I was in school?"
I'm actually kind of suprised it doesn't happen more often. In childcare we present ourselves as caring, confident, and trustworthy- all traits people like in a partner. People of both genders have trouble reading others. I've been married 15 years and DW still confuses me sometimes.
I'm sure I'm not asking something with a right or wrong answer. Or maybe I'm totally off base and the torches and pitchforks are assembling as we speak.
Thanks
Unregistered 05:37 AM 09-15-2016
Well. This morning was fun. Mom dropped off dcb and said dad would drop daughter later so they could spend morning together. 37 minutes later dad arrived.
When he brought daughter in I sat her down on floor to remove shoes and felt dads hand on my VERY lower back. I swiftly stood up and met him with a hard flat palm square to his nose. Oh dcd, did i forget to tell you that I took numerous self defense classes in college? (I worked Summer's tending bar and they came in handy). Dads nose proceeded to gush blood all over my foyer. I informed him to go to his car while I gathered his children. I then sent his children to the car and sent his wife a detailed text of why they are immediately terminated. Can you imagine being married to such a POS?
When he brought daughter in I sat her down on floor to remove shoes and felt dads hand on my VERY lower back. I swiftly stood up and met him with a hard flat palm square to his nose. Oh dcd, did i forget to tell you that I took numerous self defense classes in college? (I worked Summer's tending bar and they came in handy). Dads nose proceeded to gush blood all over my foyer. I informed him to go to his car while I gathered his children. I then sent his children to the car and sent his wife a detailed text of why they are immediately terminated. Can you imagine being married to such a POS?
Pestle 06:18 AM 09-15-2016
Rockgirl 06:23 AM 09-15-2016
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Well. This morning was fun. Mom dropped off dcb and said dad would drop daughter later so they could spend morning together. 37 minutes later dad arrived.
When he brought daughter in I sat her down on floor to remove shoes and felt dads hand on my VERY lower back. I swiftly stood up and met him with a hard flat palm square to his nose. Oh dcd, did i forget to tell you that I took numerous self defense classes in college? (I worked Summer's tending bar and they came in handy). Dads nose proceeded to gush blood all over my foyer. I informed him to go to his car while I gathered his children. I then sent his children to the car and sent his wife a detailed text of why they are immediately terminated. Can you imagine being married to such a POS?
Well. This morning was fun. Mom dropped off dcb and said dad would drop daughter later so they could spend morning together. 37 minutes later dad arrived.
When he brought daughter in I sat her down on floor to remove shoes and felt dads hand on my VERY lower back. I swiftly stood up and met him with a hard flat palm square to his nose. Oh dcd, did i forget to tell you that I took numerous self defense classes in college? (I worked Summer's tending bar and they came in handy). Dads nose proceeded to gush blood all over my foyer. I informed him to go to his car while I gathered his children. I then sent his children to the car and sent his wife a detailed text of why they are immediately terminated. Can you imagine being married to such a POS?
Are you the OP?
Baby Beluga 06:45 AM 09-15-2016
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Well. This morning was fun. Mom dropped off dcb and said dad would drop daughter later so they could spend morning together. 37 minutes later dad arrived.
When he brought daughter in I sat her down on floor to remove shoes and felt dads hand on my VERY lower back. I swiftly stood up and met him with a hard flat palm square to his nose. Oh dcd, did i forget to tell you that I took numerous self defense classes in college? (I worked Summer's tending bar and they came in handy). Dads nose proceeded to gush blood all over my foyer. I informed him to go to his car while I gathered his children. I then sent his children to the car and sent his wife a detailed text of why they are immediately terminated. Can you imagine being married to such a POS?
I am going to tread lightly here, but did you really hit Dad in the face causing a bloody nose....in front of other children? Well. This morning was fun. Mom dropped off dcb and said dad would drop daughter later so they could spend morning together. 37 minutes later dad arrived.
When he brought daughter in I sat her down on floor to remove shoes and felt dads hand on my VERY lower back. I swiftly stood up and met him with a hard flat palm square to his nose. Oh dcd, did i forget to tell you that I took numerous self defense classes in college? (I worked Summer's tending bar and they came in handy). Dads nose proceeded to gush blood all over my foyer. I informed him to go to his car while I gathered his children. I then sent his children to the car and sent his wife a detailed text of why they are immediately terminated. Can you imagine being married to such a POS?
There is absolutely ZERO reason for DCD to touch you in any way. No reason at all. But I also am a bit alarmed at how you handled it with children in your care.
Play Care 06:45 AM 09-15-2016
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Well. This morning was fun. Mom dropped off dcb and said dad would drop daughter later so they could spend morning together. 37 minutes later dad arrived.
When he brought daughter in I sat her down on floor to remove shoes and felt dads hand on my VERY lower back. I swiftly stood up and met him with a hard flat palm square to his nose. Oh dcd, did i forget to tell you that I took numerous self defense classes in college? (I worked Summer's tending bar and they came in handy). Dads nose proceeded to gush blood all over my foyer. I informed him to go to his car while I gathered his children. I then sent his children to the car and sent his wife a detailed text of why they are immediately terminated. Can you imagine being married to such a POS?
Well. This morning was fun. Mom dropped off dcb and said dad would drop daughter later so they could spend morning together. 37 minutes later dad arrived.
When he brought daughter in I sat her down on floor to remove shoes and felt dads hand on my VERY lower back. I swiftly stood up and met him with a hard flat palm square to his nose. Oh dcd, did i forget to tell you that I took numerous self defense classes in college? (I worked Summer's tending bar and they came in handy). Dads nose proceeded to gush blood all over my foyer. I informed him to go to his car while I gathered his children. I then sent his children to the car and sent his wife a detailed text of why they are immediately terminated. Can you imagine being married to such a POS?
Blackcat31 07:23 AM 09-15-2016
I find it ironic that the most dramatic stories are always posted by unregistered users.
I fully support and respect unregistered users when they post. (Especially when they have valuable content to add to the forum.)
A user name means no more to me than a real name or a blank space etc..but I can't help feeling like sometimes the phrase "logged out for privacy" really just means "most outlandish story ever told"...
I fully support and respect unregistered users when they post. (Especially when they have valuable content to add to the forum.)
A user name means no more to me than a real name or a blank space etc..but I can't help feeling like sometimes the phrase "logged out for privacy" really just means "most outlandish story ever told"...
Mike 08:07 AM 09-15-2016
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Well. This morning was fun. Mom dropped off dcb and said dad would drop daughter later so they could spend morning together. 37 minutes later dad arrived.
When he brought daughter in I sat her down on floor to remove shoes and felt dads hand on my VERY lower back. I swiftly stood up and met him with a hard flat palm square to his nose. Oh dcd, did i forget to tell you that I took numerous self defense classes in college? (I worked Summer's tending bar and they came in handy). Dads nose proceeded to gush blood all over my foyer. I informed him to go to his car while I gathered his children. I then sent his children to the car and sent his wife a detailed text of why they are immediately terminated. Can you imagine being married to such a POS?
Reading that, I had 2 immediate thoughts. Well. This morning was fun. Mom dropped off dcb and said dad would drop daughter later so they could spend morning together. 37 minutes later dad arrived.
When he brought daughter in I sat her down on floor to remove shoes and felt dads hand on my VERY lower back. I swiftly stood up and met him with a hard flat palm square to his nose. Oh dcd, did i forget to tell you that I took numerous self defense classes in college? (I worked Summer's tending bar and they came in handy). Dads nose proceeded to gush blood all over my foyer. I informed him to go to his car while I gathered his children. I then sent his children to the car and sent his wife a detailed text of why they are immediately terminated. Can you imagine being married to such a POS?
for the defense and telling him to take the kids for going overboard in front of childrenI would have just said to take the kids and leave.
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I find it ironic that the most dramatic stories are always posted by unregistered users.
I fully support and respect unregistered users when they post. (Especially when they have valuable content to add to the forum.)
A user name means no more to me than a real name or a blank space etc..but I can't help feeling like sometimes the phrase "logged out for privacy" really just means "most outlandish story ever told"...
I find it ironic that the most dramatic stories are always posted by unregistered users.
I fully support and respect unregistered users when they post. (Especially when they have valuable content to add to the forum.)
A user name means no more to me than a real name or a blank space etc..but I can't help feeling like sometimes the phrase "logged out for privacy" really just means "most outlandish story ever told"...
On a board I had a few years back, we got regular visitor posts from people being very mean or rude. Eventually I turned off the option to post without being logged in. I also checked the IP addresses and often they were through a proxy, but once, I was able to trace it right to a specific person and got a phone number and email address. They didn't like me.
Blackcat31 08:14 AM 09-15-2016
Originally Posted by Mike:
On a board I had a few years back, we got regular visitor posts from people being very mean or rude. Eventually I turned off the option to post without being logged in. I also checked the IP addresses and often they were through a proxy, but once, I was able to trace it right to a specific person and got a phone number and email address. They didn't like me.
You'd be surprised (probably not you specifically since you have experience in the computer world) but most people would be surprised at what isn't really "private" or "hidden". On a board I had a few years back, we got regular visitor posts from people being very mean or rude. Eventually I turned off the option to post without being logged in. I also checked the IP addresses and often they were through a proxy, but once, I was able to trace it right to a specific person and got a phone number and email address. They didn't like me.
Mike 08:26 AM 09-15-2016
Oh yeah. Even information people know is public, some say too much, especially on sites like Facebook. How do some burglars know when to go rob a house? A friend of mine, even after multiple warnings from me, kept posting on Facebook every time she was going out. She wanted her friends to know she's not home so they don't come over. Last summer, her place was broken into, surprisingly when she wasn't home. I wonder how anyone knew. She actually stopped being that stupid, but still posts way too much.
She actually stopped being that stupid, but still posts way too much.
Ariana 10:09 AM 09-15-2016
Originally Posted by DaveA:
I keep coming back to this thread thinking about something.
Let me preface it by saying in OP's post DCD is being a moron because both are married & if it continues she would be right to tell him to go F himself. I'm curious- how much of the reactions do you think are gender based? The example I posted about the DCM above I caught heck from several coworkers (my aide could have been Exhibit A in the gossip thread awhile back) for "leading on a single mom". When my aide set her cap for a single dad there (a local cop) all she got was handcuff jokes. Another center I worked at had a DCM that was a former teacher who married a single DCD. Several staff were unhappy they were still allowed to bring the children because he had "gone after" a girl 10 years younger even though her former co-teacher said she chased him from the beginning. Kind of like when there's a high school student/ teacher story. When it's a guy teacher it's "fry him". If it's a female teacher it's "Where were these teachers when I was in school?"
I'm actually kind of suprised it doesn't happen more often. In childcare we present ourselves as caring, confident, and trustworthy- all traits people like in a partner. People of both genders have trouble reading others. I've been married 15 years and DW still confuses me sometimes.
I'm sure I'm not asking something with a right or wrong answer. Or maybe I'm totally off base and the torches and pitchforks are assembling as we speak.
Thanks
Definitely a double standard. I think it is because we view men as the pursuer/predator and women as the passive acceptors/victims of advances. I keep coming back to this thread thinking about something.
Let me preface it by saying in OP's post DCD is being a moron because both are married & if it continues she would be right to tell him to go F himself. I'm curious- how much of the reactions do you think are gender based? The example I posted about the DCM above I caught heck from several coworkers (my aide could have been Exhibit A in the gossip thread awhile back) for "leading on a single mom". When my aide set her cap for a single dad there (a local cop) all she got was handcuff jokes. Another center I worked at had a DCM that was a former teacher who married a single DCD. Several staff were unhappy they were still allowed to bring the children because he had "gone after" a girl 10 years younger even though her former co-teacher said she chased him from the beginning. Kind of like when there's a high school student/ teacher story. When it's a guy teacher it's "fry him". If it's a female teacher it's "Where were these teachers when I was in school?"
I'm actually kind of suprised it doesn't happen more often. In childcare we present ourselves as caring, confident, and trustworthy- all traits people like in a partner. People of both genders have trouble reading others. I've been married 15 years and DW still confuses me sometimes.
I'm sure I'm not asking something with a right or wrong answer. Or maybe I'm totally off base and the torches and pitchforks are assembling as we speak.
Thanks
As a woman I KNOW why men are attracted to us. Our job is the very definition of femininity in the traditional sense and many guys like that for obvious reasons. Same reason I am attracted to the guys who do work in my house. They are very masculine....luckily they don't stay long and I love my husband
Mike 11:37 AM 09-15-2016
Originally Posted by Ariana:
Definitely a double standard. I think it is because we view men as the pursuer/predator and women as the passive acceptors/victims of advances.
As a woman I KNOW why men are attracted to us. Our job is the very definition of femininity in the traditional sense and many guys like that for obvious reasons. Same reason I am attracted to the guys who do work in my house. They are very masculine....luckily they don't stay long and I love my husband
That is the case most of the time, but only recently it started being accepted that it can go the other way.Definitely a double standard. I think it is because we view men as the pursuer/predator and women as the passive acceptors/victims of advances.
As a woman I KNOW why men are attracted to us. Our job is the very definition of femininity in the traditional sense and many guys like that for obvious reasons. Same reason I am attracted to the guys who do work in my house. They are very masculine....luckily they don't stay long and I love my husband
Controlled Chaos 12:28 PM 09-15-2016
IF it happened - let's pretend it did, my day is boring
I can see going into "danger mode" if someone touched me in a way that felt intrusive or dangerous. Unfortunately I don't have self defense training, so my reaction would be shaking, stuttering and threatening to call the police maybe...hmmm I dunno...
I can see going into "danger mode" if someone touched me in a way that felt intrusive or dangerous. Unfortunately I don't have self defense training, so my reaction would be shaking, stuttering and threatening to call the police maybe...hmmm I dunno...
Blackcat31 12:44 PM 09-15-2016
Originally Posted by Controlled Chaos:
IF it happened - let's pretend it did, my day is boring
I can see going into "danger mode" if someone touched me in a way that felt intrusive or dangerous. Unfortunately I don't have self defense training, so my reaction would be shaking, stuttering and threatening to call the police maybe...hmmm I dunno...
I found myself discrediting the story and finding it a bit hard to believe as totally truthful.IF it happened - let's pretend it did, my day is boring
I can see going into "danger mode" if someone touched me in a way that felt intrusive or dangerous. Unfortunately I don't have self defense training, so my reaction would be shaking, stuttering and threatening to call the police maybe...hmmm I dunno...
When you read the original post and the overall "feel" or tone of what is being said, it does not at all match the tone or "feel" of the update.
The original post sounded as if the provider really felt unsure of what to do, if the signals she was reading were interpreted correctly or not and even stated the DCD hadn't "done" anything specific other than being "unnecessarily chatty" and flirty (which in my opinion is open to interpretation depending...)
.....and then the second post or the updated post comes across completely different almost as if it were two totally different people posting. (which I am assuming is why one of our members out right questioned the UPDATED poster on whether they were the same poster as the original poster.)
I am also curious as to what "specifically" the DCD did that warranted being physically assaulted in front of his child....
Plus, as a recent graduate of a self-defense course, I know for a fact that there are certain steps you take to prevent suspected "threats" from accessing you physically etc. You are also taught a few other things that just don't jive with the details of this story so that's my perspective. I could be 100% wrong but that is my interpretation and thoughts on this.
DaveA 12:56 PM 09-15-2016
Originally Posted by Ariana:
Definitely a double standard. I think it is because we view men as the pursuer/predator and women as the passive acceptors/victims of advances.
After way too many years of being the only/ one of a couple guys in a large female worksite, I find that almost laughable. I've said before this site is the most reserved bunch of women I've ever dealt with (I mean that in a good way). A couple of former centers had staffs that could have made Marines on Leave blush.
As a woman I KNOW why men are attracted to us. Our job is the very definition of femininity in the traditional sense and many guys like that for obvious reasons.
That makes a lot of sense. Even though my wife asked me out first, the reason I broke my rule against dating people I worked with (we had a mutual client) was because I had seen her at her most caring, helpful, and trusting and was impressed. Well, that and she had a cute butt.
Same reason I am attracted to the guys who do work in my house. They are very masculine....luckily they don't stay long and I love my husband
So THAT'S why women watch when I demonstrate bladesmithing at craft fairs. Definitely a double standard. I think it is because we view men as the pursuer/predator and women as the passive acceptors/victims of advances.
After way too many years of being the only/ one of a couple guys in a large female worksite, I find that almost laughable. I've said before this site is the most reserved bunch of women I've ever dealt with (I mean that in a good way). A couple of former centers had staffs that could have made Marines on Leave blush.
As a woman I KNOW why men are attracted to us. Our job is the very definition of femininity in the traditional sense and many guys like that for obvious reasons.
That makes a lot of sense. Even though my wife asked me out first, the reason I broke my rule against dating people I worked with (we had a mutual client) was because I had seen her at her most caring, helpful, and trusting and was impressed. Well, that and she had a cute butt.
Same reason I am attracted to the guys who do work in my house. They are very masculine....luckily they don't stay long and I love my husband
Controlled Chaos 01:55 PM 09-15-2016
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I found myself discrediting the story and finding it a bit hard to believe as totally truthful.
When you read the original post and the overall "feel" or tone of what is being said, it does not at all match the tone or "feel" of the update.
The original post sounded as if the provider really felt unsure of what to do, if the signals she was reading were interpreted correctly or not and even stated the DCD hadn't "done" anything specific other than being "unnecessarily chatty" and flirty (which in my opinion is open to interpretation depending...)
.....and then the second post or the updated post comes across completely different almost as if it were two totally different people posting. (which I am assuming is why one of our members out right questioned the UPDATED poster on whether they were the same poster as the original poster.)
I am also curious as to what "specifically" the DCD did that warranted being physically assaulted in front of his child....
Plus, as a recent graduate of a self-defense course, I know for a fact that there are certain steps you take to prevent suspected "threats" from accessing you physically etc. You are also taught a few other things that just don't jive with the details of this story so that's my perspective. I could be 100% wrong but that is my interpretation and thoughts on this.
Oh I totally agree in real life...I was just enjoying the show I found myself discrediting the story and finding it a bit hard to believe as totally truthful.
When you read the original post and the overall "feel" or tone of what is being said, it does not at all match the tone or "feel" of the update.
The original post sounded as if the provider really felt unsure of what to do, if the signals she was reading were interpreted correctly or not and even stated the DCD hadn't "done" anything specific other than being "unnecessarily chatty" and flirty (which in my opinion is open to interpretation depending...)
.....and then the second post or the updated post comes across completely different almost as if it were two totally different people posting. (which I am assuming is why one of our members out right questioned the UPDATED poster on whether they were the same poster as the original poster.)
I am also curious as to what "specifically" the DCD did that warranted being physically assaulted in front of his child....
Plus, as a recent graduate of a self-defense course, I know for a fact that there are certain steps you take to prevent suspected "threats" from accessing you physically etc. You are also taught a few other things that just don't jive with the details of this story so that's my perspective. I could be 100% wrong but that is my interpretation and thoughts on this.
I know, not very mature. But my headphones are missing so I can't listen to my favorite podcasts during nap 
so bored...and so not wanting to do paperwork...ok ok I will go enter food program info 
Seriously though...when do the fall TV shows start back up...
Blackcat31 01:53 PM 10-21-2016
Curious if this family had any follow up to this incident?
Was a police report filed by the DCD or did he seek medical attention at all?
I just can't help wonder how this whole experience effected the kids. They are much too young to understand the their father is being flirty and/or obnoxious but I am sure they understand it means their father is hurt when he started gushing blood...
Just wondering if there was any type of update, further conversation with the mom or any fallout from DCD potentially reporting this.
Was a police report filed by the DCD or did he seek medical attention at all?
I just can't help wonder how this whole experience effected the kids. They are much too young to understand the their father is being flirty and/or obnoxious but I am sure they understand it means their father is hurt when he started gushing blood...
Just wondering if there was any type of update, further conversation with the mom or any fallout from DCD potentially reporting this.
daycare 09:20 AM 10-23-2016
Wow wow. How did I miss all of that.
If I did that to a dcp I'm sure I wouldn't have a daycare anymore.
Hoping this all turned out well.
Please update...
If I did that to a dcp I'm sure I wouldn't have a daycare anymore.
Hoping this all turned out well.
Please update...
catinthebox 12:16 PM 10-23-2016
What are some of the bias do you see in the daycare business for both gender?
I am a young male teacher and while working at the daycare center i had noticed some bias things. One of them was when I had first started working there and we were at the beach for our field trip. Some of our kids were talking to a lady who had her dog on her bike. I saw it and then started walking toward her when I saw my boss doing the same thing. I asked "our kids can't talk to random people right?" She replys "no, but she seems like a nice lady" but i don't remember exactly how she word the next part but he said something like if it was a male then we shouldn't let them talk to the kids because you know...
At first i was true, then later on that day i was like thats mess up! I love my ex boss, she had help me grow alot and become a better teacher.
Second thing was that staff at the site can not let kids sit in their laps. There was a big fiasco that had happen a few years ago when a male staff allow teenage girls to sit on his lap. My coworkers are all females and there were a few times where some of them were letting the kids sit on their laps. If i were to do that my ass were have been gone and people would have been head hunting for me.
At the same time i feel like being a male staff had giving me an edge because there isn't that much male teacher or staff in elementary and in the daycare center. I remember during my interview that they mention that we don't normally get male teachers so that gives you a edge because they been needing one for a long time. One of my coworkers told me that the work place was sexism because i didn't have to drive the van because they needed a male staff at the site. I told her that it sucks knowing that you are deem as a value assets just because you are a male and not for what you do. I do agree that sexism is still alive where it happens to women most of the time.
I am a young male teacher and while working at the daycare center i had noticed some bias things. One of them was when I had first started working there and we were at the beach for our field trip. Some of our kids were talking to a lady who had her dog on her bike. I saw it and then started walking toward her when I saw my boss doing the same thing. I asked "our kids can't talk to random people right?" She replys "no, but she seems like a nice lady" but i don't remember exactly how she word the next part but he said something like if it was a male then we shouldn't let them talk to the kids because you know...
At first i was true, then later on that day i was like
thats mess up! I love my ex boss, she had help me grow alot and become a better teacher. Second thing was that staff at the site can not let kids sit in their laps. There was a big fiasco that had happen a few years ago when a male staff allow teenage girls to sit on his lap. My coworkers are all females and there were a few times where some of them were letting the kids sit on their laps. If i were to do that my ass were have been gone and people would have been head hunting for me.
At the same time i feel like being a male staff had giving me an edge because there isn't that much male teacher or staff in elementary and in the daycare center. I remember during my interview that they mention that we don't normally get male teachers so that gives you a edge because they been needing one for a long time. One of my coworkers told me that the work place was sexism because i didn't have to drive the van because they needed a male staff at the site. I told her that it sucks knowing that you are deem as a value assets just because you are a male and not for what you do. I do agree that sexism is still alive where it happens to women most of the time.
TBird 07:39 AM 10-25-2016
We had a BRIEF experience w/an "overly friendly" creeper type dad. He was unemployed (waiting on employment) & mom wanted the child acclimated to daycare. He would leer at us at drop off & pick up & say, "So what's up???" when clearly it wasn't about the DCK. He also wanted the DCK to stay late & offered to give my assistant rides home after hours. UMMMMMM...NO.