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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Tears of Sorrow & Joy. WWYD?
coolconfidentme 01:42 AM 02-25-2014
I was DC shopping yesterday & ran into a g'ma of a past DCB that has haunted me since he left. He was non verbal & DCM pulled him out when I reported severe bruising on the buttocks to CPS. I told g'ma how he is always in my prayers & why. She said she has temporary custody of him from yet another abuse case which was more severe. I hugged her cried right there in Walmart because he was safe! (for now)
She has a hearing on March 6 & is trying to maintain custody. She asked if if was possible to come or talk to the hearing & tell what happened. I know we cannot save them all, but what would you do?
ps..., After I got back I told DCH of seeing her & knowing he was safe. An hour later G'ma brought DCB to see me! He was sooo happy to see me & was now talking! Yes..., I cried again.
She has a hearing on March 6 & is trying to maintain custody. She asked if if was possible to come or talk to the hearing & tell what happened. I know we cannot save them all, but what would you do?
ps..., After I got back I told DCH of seeing her & knowing he was safe. An hour later G'ma brought DCB to see me! He was sooo happy to see me & was now talking! Yes..., I cried again.
Laurel 04:09 AM 02-25-2014
Originally Posted by coolconfidentme:
I was DC shopping yesterday & ran into a g'ma of a past DCB that has haunted me since he left. He was non verbal & DCM pulled him out when I reported severe bruising on the buttocks to CPS. I told g'ma how he is always in my prayers & why. She said she has temporary custody of him from yet another abuse case which was more severe. I hugged her cried right there in Walmart because he was safe! (for now)
She has a hearing on March 6 & is trying to maintain custody. She asked if if was possible to come or talk to the hearing & tell what happened. I know we cannot save them all, but what would you do?
ps..., After I got back I told DCH of seeing her & knowing he was safe. An hour later G'ma brought DCB to see me! He was sooo happy to see me & was now talking! Yes..., I cried again.
Without a doubt, I would go to the hearing if needed.I was DC shopping yesterday & ran into a g'ma of a past DCB that has haunted me since he left. He was non verbal & DCM pulled him out when I reported severe bruising on the buttocks to CPS. I told g'ma how he is always in my prayers & why. She said she has temporary custody of him from yet another abuse case which was more severe. I hugged her cried right there in Walmart because he was safe! (for now)
She has a hearing on March 6 & is trying to maintain custody. She asked if if was possible to come or talk to the hearing & tell what happened. I know we cannot save them all, but what would you do?
ps..., After I got back I told DCH of seeing her & knowing he was safe. An hour later G'ma brought DCB to see me! He was sooo happy to see me & was now talking! Yes..., I cried again.
Wow, what a sad story. Hope grandma gets him.
Laurel
Kaddidle Care 04:19 AM 02-25-2014
The CPS report should be enough. I wouldn't get involved unless you get a subpoena to do so.
You don't want to make enemies of these parents. If they beat their own.. well - you don't want to make enemies with them.
So glad he is safe with Grandma.
You don't want to make enemies of these parents. If they beat their own.. well - you don't want to make enemies with them.
So glad he is safe with Grandma.
originalkat 06:13 AM 02-25-2014
I am very glad to hear the boy is safe with Grandma. Obviously you made the right decision to report when he was in your care. However, I would only go to the hearing if I was subpoenaed to court.
Heidi 06:18 AM 02-25-2014
and, since GMA has an attorney, you could say "well, GMA, if I was subpoenaed, I'd HAVE to testify".
cheerfuldom 06:21 AM 02-25-2014
I would do it. As a previously abused child myself, I would hope that others would speak out instead of worrying about what my parents might think or do. This same line of thought was what kept me in an abusive and neglectful home for 18 years. I KNOW there were adults who were concerned about the situations and did nothing.
Now the provider at least called CPS. I would go to the trial and at least reconfirm what was already in the CPS report. Just tell what you know, tell the truth. Having multiple people there testifying against the parents and for the grandmother can save this little boys life!
sometimes we need to stop worrying about what might happen to our business and just do the right thing. I am sorry if that is offensive but that is how I feel. Obviously the subject matter is close to my heart.
Now the provider at least called CPS. I would go to the trial and at least reconfirm what was already in the CPS report. Just tell what you know, tell the truth. Having multiple people there testifying against the parents and for the grandmother can save this little boys life!
sometimes we need to stop worrying about what might happen to our business and just do the right thing. I am sorry if that is offensive but that is how I feel. Obviously the subject matter is close to my heart.
Heidi 07:21 AM 02-25-2014
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
I would do it. As a previously abused child myself, I would hope that others would speak out instead of worrying about what my parents might think or do. This same line of thought was what kept me in an abusive and neglectful home for 18 years. I KNOW there were adults who were concerned about the situations and did nothing.
Now the provider at least called CPS. I would go to the trial and at least reconfirm what was already in the CPS report. Just tell what you know, tell the truth. Having multiple people there testifying against the parents and for the grandmother can save this little boys life!
sometimes we need to stop worrying about what might happen to our business and just do the right thing. I am sorry if that is offensive but that is how I feel. Obviously the subject matter is close to my heart.
I visited my high school counselor about 20 years after I graduated. He said "We KNEW. but in those days (1982), our hands were tied. A teacher, counselor, doctor, etc, who reported suspected abuse put their job and reputation on the line if they reported. I'm so glad that's changed, and I'm sorry we didn't help you".I would do it. As a previously abused child myself, I would hope that others would speak out instead of worrying about what my parents might think or do. This same line of thought was what kept me in an abusive and neglectful home for 18 years. I KNOW there were adults who were concerned about the situations and did nothing.
Now the provider at least called CPS. I would go to the trial and at least reconfirm what was already in the CPS report. Just tell what you know, tell the truth. Having multiple people there testifying against the parents and for the grandmother can save this little boys life!
sometimes we need to stop worrying about what might happen to our business and just do the right thing. I am sorry if that is offensive but that is how I feel. Obviously the subject matter is close to my heart.
There should be no LEGAL retaliation against testifying, if asked to. There may be social retaliation, or safety issues (although people who hurt children are not necessarily violent otherwise...just ass*****. Being a brave person and doing the right thing is certainly not always easy.
daycarediva 07:26 AM 02-25-2014
Originally Posted by Heidi:
and, since GMA has an attorney, you could say "well, GMA, if I was subpoenaed, I'd HAVE to testify".
This is exactly what I would say as well. and, since GMA has an attorney, you could say "well, GMA, if I was subpoenaed, I'd HAVE to testify".I was in a very bad situation, and my aunt/uncle tried to get custody of me. Only one cps worker testified on their behalf, and NOBODY else would voluntarily come forward, so it continued for another 2 years until I left home at 15.
When given the choice, I will always step forward.
Blackcat31 07:35 AM 02-25-2014
If I were subpoenaed, I would have to testify but if I weren't I would NOT get involved.
I have been there, done that and after a few police calls, a couple midnight encounters and an order for protection for my ENTIRE family it was a nightmare. One I would NEVER in a millions years be willing to be part of again.
Now, I simply document what I know and report if necessary. If CPS wants any of my documentation they are free to have it. I also have no issues working with a guardian ad litem but that is it.
I would never voluntarily go to court or be a witness for either parent.
That's my personal opinion and one soley based on my own past experience of coming forward on behalf of a client/family.
I have been there, done that and after a few police calls, a couple midnight encounters and an order for protection for my ENTIRE family it was a nightmare. One I would NEVER in a millions years be willing to be part of again.
Now, I simply document what I know and report if necessary. If CPS wants any of my documentation they are free to have it. I also have no issues working with a guardian ad litem but that is it.
I would never voluntarily go to court or be a witness for either parent.
That's my personal opinion and one soley based on my own past experience of coming forward on behalf of a client/family.
llpa 07:39 AM 02-25-2014
I would be sure to get subpoenaed or if not, I would do it anyway. The subpoena gives you a reason to "have" to be there, but if it helps him be in a better situation, it is the right thing to do. To all the folks who had an abusive childhood, and hopefully w/o sounding patronizing, I am so sorry. I can tell from reading your responses on here that you are amazing people and amazing providers also.
itlw8 07:45 AM 02-25-2014
I WOULD have her tell the case worker. They may just call and talk with you and it will be in the caseworkers report or they may want you to come testify. Likely they will just put it in the caseworkers report.
Laurel 08:54 AM 02-25-2014
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
I would do it. As a previously abused child myself, I would hope that others would speak out instead of worrying about what my parents might think or do. This same line of thought was what kept me in an abusive and neglectful home for 18 years. I KNOW there were adults who were concerned about the situations and did nothing.
Now the provider at least called CPS. I would go to the trial and at least reconfirm what was already in the CPS report. Just tell what you know, tell the truth. Having multiple people there testifying against the parents and for the grandmother can save this little boys life!
sometimes we need to stop worrying about what might happen to our business and just do the right thing. I am sorry if that is offensive but that is how I feel. Obviously the subject matter is close to my heart.
I would do it. As a previously abused child myself, I would hope that others would speak out instead of worrying about what my parents might think or do. This same line of thought was what kept me in an abusive and neglectful home for 18 years. I KNOW there were adults who were concerned about the situations and did nothing.
Now the provider at least called CPS. I would go to the trial and at least reconfirm what was already in the CPS report. Just tell what you know, tell the truth. Having multiple people there testifying against the parents and for the grandmother can save this little boys life!
sometimes we need to stop worrying about what might happen to our business and just do the right thing. I am sorry if that is offensive but that is how I feel. Obviously the subject matter is close to my heart.
preschoolteacher 11:01 AM 02-25-2014
Originally Posted by Heidi:
and, since GMA has an attorney, you could say "well, GMA, if I was subpoenaed, I'd HAVE to testify".
This. For sure.and, since GMA has an attorney, you could say "well, GMA, if I was subpoenaed, I'd HAVE to testify".
TwinKristi 11:16 AM 02-25-2014
I would voluntarily do it. I know others have more experience and advise not to get involved and told me the same thing a couple mos back when I was in a similar situation. My letter was very helpful in getting the kids taken away from mom. The judge said that just one vengeful letter from her past roommate, her ex-bf, etc would be different, as they can have ulterior motives and neither called CPS, but when you have multiple people stepping forward to show concern, calling CPS... that he has to take this seriously and removed the kids from mom legally and gave her supervised visits. Dad had previously tried to get custody and was denied NUMEROUS times. But having my letter, along with 2 others that were more current, it was obvious something needed to change.
I'm so glad to hear he's safe with his Gma!
I'm so glad to hear he's safe with his Gma!
EntropyControlSpecialist 11:57 AM 02-25-2014
YES I would do it!!!! My son was stuck in an abusive/neglectful home for 15 years before we got him. A million times YES! We were so thankful for everyone who came and testified.
Now that he is in the prime of his teen years I will sell him to you for a dollar.
Now that he is in the prime of his teen years I will sell him to you for a dollar.
coolconfidentme 12:32 PM 02-25-2014
OP here..., g'ma just contacted me & asked if I had any documents or text conversation with DCM concerning the issue I reported. I said I did as well as the disturbing pictures of the abuse which were still in my files. I willingly gave here copies of everything & told her to contact the caseworker for additional information about the incident. No one ever told her DCB was already in the system for previous abuse. How crazy is that?