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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>5 Year Old Still Having Potty Issues
Unregistered 04:13 PM 12-15-2015
I had a dcg in care until this past June. Mom and dad moved her to an all day preschool starting mid June, but I still communicate with mom frequently. We started potting training a couple months after dcg's 3rd birthday. She did quite well for the first 6 months. Ever since then, she has been having issues off and on. I had her in care until she was about 4 1/2 and I was dealing with her having frequent "accidents" for about a year off and on. She would go from a couple weeks of staying clean and dry and then go back to accidents every day. Continually back and forth. Mom says that she has now daily "accidents" at her preschool. The reason I have accidents in quotes is because she seems to know exactly what she is doing. Examples: going into a corner and peeing or pooping her pants, walking into the bathroom and peeing her pants instead of pulling down pants and sitting on the toilet to go, sometimes making no effort to even get to the bathroom so she just goes where she is at. She also has pooped in her pants multiple times. She has seen the doctor and has had many tests done to rule out a medical issue. She most recently had an MRI that came back normal. It would seem that this is a behavioral issue and she is in some sort of rut that she can't get out of now. She is now five and shows no sign of improvement. She does not seem embarrassed or care about the fact that she does this around kids her own age either. Mom has asked that she see another doctor to see if they have any ideas on what to do/try next because she really hasn't been guided on what to do since they now know there is nothing medically wrong. Has anyone ever had a child in this type of situation? What kind of things did you try or have you heard about trying?
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Ariana 04:28 PM 12-15-2015
I have heard that making the kid clean up their own mess helps a lot.

I don't know why but this sort of thing always sends red flags for me. I wonder if something is going on at home. My friends child had this issue and it always was worse after being with dad all weekend. That's not a coincidence.
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mommiebookworm 05:01 PM 12-15-2015
I had (a year ago approx) a dcg 4 who would do that. It was all about her having control over something.
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Febby 05:03 PM 12-15-2015
Having them clean up their own mess, as much as they reasonably can, is a decent deterrent.

That said, if it is a behavioral issue, then there is probably an underlying reason for it and even if this particular expression of it is corrected, the child may simply pick up a new "habit". The underlying reason could be a number of things: wanting attention, feeling out of control, etc. Is she having accidents at home too or just at her preschool? If it's just at preschool, then do you know how the preschool staff handle it? How did you handle it?
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Leigh 05:10 PM 12-15-2015
I've seen this in my foster daughter with Reactive Attachment Disorder-it's hell. I agree with having the child clean up after herself, too. What cured my foster daughter was taking away her reward (soiled underwear-she told me that I would HAVE to buy her new underwear) and putting her in pull ups. Every time she was in pull ups, no accident. Every time we tried underwear, accident.

I would recommend a therapist for the child at this point, rather than an MD. She may want to try DoctorDaum.com, too. This doctor apparently has a lot of success with hard cases.
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spedmommy4 05:20 PM 12-15-2015
I kind of agree with the previous posters. My daughter has high functioning Autism and she was having accidents at that age. We tried everything the doctors recommended and therapists recommended but none of their suggestions worked. My husband and I started saying, "looks like you had an accident. Let's clean up." We had her help with wiping it up and putting clothes in the washer. The accidents stopped completely in about a month. I'm pretty sure her therapists thought I was a big meanie though.
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Unregistered 07:05 AM 12-16-2015
Accidents are happening at home too. When she was with me, we tried having her clean it up, and she did it and never seemed bothered by having to do that. For the last several months that she was in my care, we had her in pull ups because I was frustrated and didn't know what else to try. She wet whether she was in underwear or a pull up. By the end of her time with me, I had stopped telling her to use the bathroom and just let her do her own thing. I have a feeling it is somewhat of a control issue. If she told me she had to go to the bathroom, I would have her go otherwise I would check her pull up at the times that I changed other kids' diapers. I figured backing off prompting her and letting her have the control of when she wanted to try would help. That didn't change things either. At the new preschool, she is still in pull ups and I think they just let her decide when she wants to try and use the bathroom. I'm not sure though if they check her pull up to see if she is wet throughout the day. They told mom and dad that as long as there was a possible medical issue, she could continue coming to the preschool. Haven't heard yet though what is happening with the preschool now that they know it is not a medical issue.
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spedmommy4 07:21 AM 12-16-2015
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Accidents are happening at home too. When she was with me, we tried having her clean it up, and she did it and never seemed bothered by having to do that. For the last several months that she was in my care, we had her in pull ups because I was frustrated and didn't know what else to try. She wet whether she was in underwear or a pull up. By the end of her time with me, I had stopped telling her to use the bathroom and just let her do her own thing. I have a feeling it is somewhat of a control issue. If she told me she had to go to the bathroom, I would have her go otherwise I would check her pull up at the times that I changed other kids' diapers. I figured backing off prompting her and letting her have the control of when she wanted to try would help. That didn't change things either. At the new preschool, she is still in pull ups and I think they just let her decide when she wants to try and use the bathroom. I'm not sure though if they check her pull up to see if she is wet throughout the day. They told mom and dad that as long as there was a possible medical issue, she could continue coming to the preschool. Haven't heard yet though what is happening with the preschool now that they know it is not a medical issue.
That's interesting. If it is not a medical issue then that only leaves behavioral or developmental. She is so close to Kindergarten that it may be worth consulting a developmental pediatrician or child psychologist at this point. They should be able to guide the parents in the right direction. Sometimes it's as simple as one parent or caregiver was pushing toileting too hard and a professional can help by providing tips to get everyone back on track.
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Unregistered 08:41 AM 12-16-2015
Originally Posted by spedmommy4:
That's interesting. If it is not a medical issue then that only leaves behavioral or developmental. She is so close to Kindergarten that it may be worth consulting a developmental pediatrician or child psychologist at this point. They should be able to guide the parents in the right direction. Sometimes it's as simple as one parent or caregiver was pushing toileting too hard and a professional can help by providing tips to get everyone back on track.
Thanks! I will tell them to try these options next.
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daycare 08:51 AM 12-16-2015
Originally Posted by spedmommy4:
That's interesting. If it is not a medical issue then that only leaves behavioral or developmental. She is so close to Kindergarten that it may be worth consulting a developmental pediatrician or child psychologist at this point. They should be able to guide the parents in the right direction. Sometimes it's as simple as one parent or caregiver was pushing toileting too hard and a professional can help by providing tips to get everyone back on track.
this was my thought too. years ago i had a kid that was 5 1/2 and still in pull up AND going to kinder.

there was nothing medically wrong with the child, the kid had VERY lazy parents. THey were very good people, but the parents either did nothing at all or would then react to everything and go way over the top. which was horrible for the dcb.

I don't know what happened to this boy or family, they moved out of my town, but I do have to agree that it sounds like it is more of a behavior issue at this point.

I have one that is going to be 4 next month and will only have an accident if they are sent to timeout, which sadly is about once a day.

the child does it at home too. I am sure the parents lose it when the dck does this, I don't have a reaction when they do.

I think that is also important to look at. what is everyone's reaction when the child has an accident. as we all know, children will seek out attention in any form.
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Play Care 09:02 AM 12-16-2015
Not really.

If a child in my program was regressing or it was a behavioral issue, back into pull ups or diaper they would go. Not a hill I'm willing to die on.

If they were no longer in my care I'd nod and smile sympathetically when mom confided in me and then go on my merry way thanking my lucky stars it was the school's issue . I've got enough to think about with the families who are IN my program. I can't borrow someone else's troubles, KWIM?
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Blackcat31 09:15 AM 12-16-2015
Originally Posted by Play Care:
Not really.

If a child in my program was regressing or it was a behavioral issue, back into pull ups or diaper they would go. Not a hill I'm willing to die on.

If they were no longer in my care I'd nod and smile sympathetically when mom confided in me and then go on my merry way thanking my lucky stars it was the school's issue . I've got enough to think about with the families who are IN my program. I can't borrow someone else's troubles, KWIM?

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