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Unregistered 07:30 AM 09-15-2016
I have 2 kids leaving for preschool. One has her last day today, one tomorrow. I care for them both, but I'm not even sad. It's just time for them to move on.

I see all these posts about dcp's being so sad when kids leave - and I'm not happy or anything - but I'm not sad.

These are the first 2 dck's to leave my program (who haven't moved away) since I opened.
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Rockgirl 07:35 AM 09-15-2016
I've had some who I thought I wouldn't miss, then when I saw parents arrive for the last pickup, the tears started! I was shocked. Lol
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JackandJill 07:39 AM 09-15-2016
I don't think its usual. I think everyone has their own way of dealing with kids moving on.

I've never been so attached to a daycare child that I feel sad when they leave (for any reason). I know I have felt relief when "that kid" moves on.

I have a friend who is also a provider and she becomes a basket case of emotions when one of her littles moves on. Good by parties and keepsakes for parents and gifts for the little one! It cracks me up, she is the total opposite of me!
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Unregistered 07:47 AM 09-15-2016
Not all daycare kids are alike. Some have a way of worming their way into your heart. I've had daycare kids that have left and I could have danced a jig, some left and it was meh, and a few have left and I bawled like a baby. Still miss them years later.
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Unregistered 07:56 AM 09-15-2016
Originally Posted by JackandJill:
I don't think its usual. I think everyone has their own way of dealing with kids moving on.

I've never been so attached to a daycare child that I feel sad when they leave (for any reason). I know I have felt relief when "that kid" moves on.

I have a friend who is also a provider and she becomes a basket case of emotions when one of her littles moves on. Good by parties and keepsakes for parents and gifts for the little one! It cracks me up, she is the total opposite of me!
I have "that kid" right now. 11 more months...he's much better than he was, but he is difficult. And he's an open to closing kid.
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Unregistered 08:01 AM 09-15-2016
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Not all daycare kids are alike. Some have a way of worming their way into your heart. I've had daycare kids that have left and I could have danced a jig, some left and it was meh, and a few have left and I bawled like a baby. Still miss them years later.
I think they are in my heart, I just...I guess I view this as a job. I have them for a few years, they move on, I get more. Maybe I'm already jaded, hahaha

Of course, I'm not the most emotional person in the world. So there's that.
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MunchkinWrangler 08:03 AM 09-15-2016
No, it's not at all. I had two leave and I thought I wouldn't miss them and I do. Terribly.

Literally shocked me. Help me....I'm Feeling!

I think it's maybe easier because they are going on good terms and you have the sense of a job complete as they're moving on to the next level.
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Unregistered 08:26 AM 09-15-2016
Originally Posted by MunchkinWrangler:
No, it's not at all. I had two leave and I thought I wouldn't miss them and I do. Terribly.

Literally shocked me. Help me....I'm Feeling!

I think it's maybe easier because they are going on good terms and you have the sense of a job complete as they're moving on to the next level.
Great point! They are leaving on good terms, I feel good about it.
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MissAnn 08:28 AM 09-15-2016
I haven't missed the last 2 that left. I had both for a short time. One was very bossy and always had a mean look on her face. She was very spoiled and entitled. Her mom wanted to keep her with me for an extra year but she was ready for kindergarten and I told the mom she should go. Glad she listened. The other one was so sweet and charming. Towards the end he started breaking every rule.....dad told he is having behavior issues in kindergarten. He was not like that till the last few weeks. I like the fresh start.
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childcaremom 08:56 AM 09-15-2016
Originally Posted by MunchkinWrangler:
No, it's not at all. I had two leave and I thought I wouldn't miss them and I do. Terribly.

Literally shocked me. Help me....I'm Feeling!

I think it's maybe easier because they are going on good terms and you have the sense of a job complete as they're moving on to the next level.


I had 2 leave at the end of June, signed up to return for September, and I was sad to see them go. I was surprised to see how attached I was. Lord give me strength when they leave for good.
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adnilwis 09:03 AM 09-15-2016
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I have 2 kids leaving for preschool. One has her last day today, one tomorrow. I care for them both, but I'm not even sad. It's just time for them to move on.

I see all these posts about dcp's being so sad when kids leave - and I'm not happy or anything - but I'm not sad.

These are the first 2 dck's to leave my program (who haven't moved away) since I opened.

I had my original 2 dcks leave this summer for other daycare programs. I wasn't sad either. Neither were attached to me and could have cared less I was there. They seem to be doing well from what their parents tell me but they just very unusual kids from my experience. I was ready for a fresh start.
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daycarediva 09:33 AM 09-15-2016
Some kids I miss terribly, some I am very glad to see them go. Most fall somewhere in the middle.
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Snowmom 09:42 AM 09-15-2016
Out of the almost 2 dozen I've had leave, I've only missed ONE.
I can't wait for most of them to go. Once they reach 4 years old... it's a whole different ballgame and I usually can't stand it. I'd much prefer 12 months-3 years old and not a day older.
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Play Care 09:46 AM 09-15-2016
A few here and there have gotten to me, but for the most part I'm ready long before they are
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Unregistered 10:17 AM 09-15-2016
Originally Posted by Snowmom:
Out of the almost 2 dozen I've had leave, I've only missed ONE.
I can't wait for most of them to go. Once they reach 4 years old... it's a whole different ballgame and I usually can't stand it. I'd much prefer 12 months-3 years old and not a day older.
I think this might be me, although I like 6 months-3 years. At 4 years and up, they are certainly helpful, but also I think the kids themselves are ready for change.

I do appreciate having at least 1 or 2 potty trained, though. All of my dcf's are in no rush to get their kids out of diapers. I'm almost embarrassed for them. So 3.5-4 is when at least one of the dck's won't be in a diaper. Although I have a dcb who will probably be 4+, but that's a whole nother thread.
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MunchkinWrangler 11:42 AM 09-15-2016
Originally Posted by childcaremom:


I had 2 leave at the end of June, signed up to return for September, and I was sad to see them go. I was surprised to see how attached I was. Lord give me strength when they leave for good.
I try so hard to keep a certain distance because of this!

Ah well, I guess I'm a big softie at heart.
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Josiegirl 02:44 PM 09-15-2016
Some I've missed terribly but I find myself being so busy with all the others, it doesn't usually last long. I mean, I still miss them but the sadness doesn't stay with me because I still have to do the best I can for the ones that still come.

And like most have said, there are some I don't miss for one moment.
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daycare 02:52 PM 09-15-2016
I am not a very emotional person at all.

I did not have a reaction at all at first. Some of them, hate to saw it, we were ready to leave each other lol. Others, I didn't start to miss them until I went to go clean the name off of their cubby box a few days later. Then it hit me that they were not coming back and I did feel a little sad.

I have to say that it all depends on why they left my program too.

I have learned since then to prep myself for that day. It's one we can't avoid. I have to remind myself that these kids will only be in my life for a period of time. SO, I no longer really feel emotional about it, I feel proud, especially if they are graduating out. I know in my heart of hearts that I have prepared them to be the most successful little person they know how to be.

DOn't feel bad, that you don't feel bad. I do think it's very normal to feel the way that you are.
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Unregistered 03:16 PM 09-15-2016
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I have "that kid" right now. 11 more months...he's much better than he was, but he is difficult. And he's an open to closing kid.
It may be a regional thing, but I've noticed all of my kids who were like that were either open to close or here the longest. I've also noticed many times there was a sahp or the parents weren't working all the hours they claimed. I don't allow families to use my front door. To get in, you have to go throw my yard. Weather permitting, I do outdoor pick ups. Especially when I want parents GONE and not lingering. Once the mom got out earlier and drove around my street. Seeing the child was there with other kids, she BOLTED. I purposed asked her how work was the next drop off to see if she felt guilty. She answered just as she did any other question. No shame or guilt. TL;DR: "Those" sort of children probably act much the same at home.

To the OP, I've never been sad to see a child leave. I might be weird, but I like a rotating set of children. I like when children leave after a year or so.
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Mike 03:24 PM 09-15-2016
I'm a softie. I still miss all the kids from my Sunday School bus days, even ones who were sometimes pests, but they aren't kids anymore now. A few of them, I have bumped into over the years and got glimpses of them growing up.

It's going to be hard for me, but I know I will be able to handle it because I've had many come and go. I miss them, but there are always more to take their place.
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Miss A 04:01 PM 09-15-2016
I have found that I am not as emotional when a child moves on as I would think, because I usually wear my heart on my sleeve. Maybe it is because I was super attached and had a super attached kiddo when I worked in a center, who then came to my home program. She was the only one I ever had leave that I cried about, but I had cared for her from 6 weeks to preschool. I loved that girl, and I still do. Even when she started to get naughty towards the end, when she was ready to move on.

After that, I have learned that it is important to show love and affection, but it is also important to maintain distance. I don't have nearly as many behavior issues when I keep my distance, as I can more easily maintain rules and boundaries and not feel so guilty about it. Maybe I am just getting cold as I grow older.
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Unregistered 03:00 AM 09-16-2016
I would say it's very hard on me and very hard on the kids most of my kids i have had for many ,many years the oldest two are 7 1/2 I have had all my daycare kids since they were newborns.i had a few drops ins or part time it wasent hard since I only had these kids a few times,the other kids forgot about them since they didn't come that much.last month a kid disapeers he got picked up that day never came back no call no reason everything was fine it was very shocking since i had him for 6 years,it's hard daycare kids all miss him and ask for him constantly everyday they all grew up together.they don't understand why I don't no either.i guess it's harder for me since mine are long term there more than just daycare kids since we do so much together.
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DaveA 03:52 AM 09-16-2016
Honestly I can't remember being emotional over a DCK leaving ever in centers or home. As much as I enjoy the kiddos, they aren't mine and I don't become that attached. That sounds wrong when I type it, but I can't really figure out how to say it. I enjoy having them here, am glad they enjoy themselves (hopefully), and like them and their families, but at the end of the day it is just my business. That may get put to the test in a couple years when the child who was one of my first enrollments ages out, but we'll have to wait and see.
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midaycare 05:15 AM 09-16-2016
Originally Posted by Miss A:
I have found that I am not as emotional when a child moves on as I would think, because I usually wear my heart on my sleeve. Maybe it is because I was super attached and had a super attached kiddo when I worked in a center, who then came to my home program. She was the only one I ever had leave that I cried about, but I had cared for her from 6 weeks to preschool. I loved that girl, and I still do. Even when she started to get naughty towards the end, when she was ready to move on.

After that, I have learned that it is important to show love and affection, but it is also important to maintain distance. I don't have nearly as many behavior issues when I keep my distance, as I can more easily maintain rules and boundaries and not feel so guilty about it. Maybe I am just getting cold as I grow older.
I agree with much of this. I think I do keep a distance to maintain some professionalism and also to enforce rules. Many of my dcf's are awesome people, but have no rules at home for their kids. They are still sweet kids, but unless I'm strict all the time, they will run right over me. I'm not heartless or anything, I just try to teach them rules and respect, which I would say out of 9 or 10 families at any one time, only 2 or 3 are really good at enforcing on their end.

It is weird because this is my first cycle of kids to leave, and now I have 3 others who are the "oldest", and I think, "Wow, they will leave me next year." And then I look at the 2 year olds and think, "Then they will be the old kids!" And it's hard to imagine.
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happymom 09:21 AM 09-16-2016
I cried just reading this post because it reminded me of leaving our home daycare provider.

I honestly cried pulling out of her drive way after drop off every day for the last two weeks. And I'm crying right now.

She misses us too =) It's been over a year
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laundrymom 10:11 AM 09-16-2016
Some I bawl like a baby, others.... not quite the same reaction. Lol
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Meeko 01:55 PM 09-16-2016
It depends. I left a two year old I had cared for since birth behind when we left Oklahoma to return to Utah. I thought my heart would break in two. She is still in touch with me and has a three year old of her own now.

Another DCG was with me from birth to 7 years. She was Angelica from the Rugrats in person. I did a dance they day she left.
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knoxmomof2 08:38 PM 09-16-2016
My first dck moved up to Preschool a few weeks ago. He was with me from 11 mos to almost 5. His behavior near the end was atrocious and the parents (split) were taking FOREVER to agree on a Preschool! I started having to call a parent to come and talk to him the last 2 weeks. I just wanted him gone - forget the income. His stepbrother (2.5) comes here so he's in the car on the weeks he's at Dad's. I honestly get stressed just seeing him waiting on the car. So.... I was ready. Now, my 4 and 3 year old girls who will both be moving on next Fall? I. WILL. LOSE. IT!!! I mean, I'll be looking forward to welcoming in new little ones, but I will miss those girls 💛
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