Unregistered 01:40 PM 07-20-2010
Hi,
I'm the mom of a 10 month old who has only been in a home daycare one month. I work part-time at the law firm and she goes to daycare 2 sometimes 3 days per week for 5 hours on average.
My question is this. My daycare provider confided in me that my payment last week, July 12, 2010 was stolen by her husband who has a gambling/ drinking problem. I've never met him as he works 12 hours shifts when she is keeping children. She asked if I would be willing to give her my normal payment (today, July 20th) and pay her again for last week (July 13th) as she has bills due ASAP and she'll take off 10.00 per week (starting next week) on my weekly bill until she's paid me back. That would take approximately 10 weeks. I like her a lot - she's also a distant relative. Her grandmother and my husband's grandfather are siblings.
Am I making a big mistake by doing this?
I should add she's put her husband out and has changed the locks. (per her).
Thanks for any advice you may have to offer. Peace!
misol 03:36 PM 07-20-2010
You are ABSOLUTELY making a big mistake! Firstly, you should start looking for alternate care immediately! Relative or not - I would not be the least bit comfortable (knowingly) leaving my child in a household with theiving, gambling, drunk. I can guarantee that this isn't the first time he has stolen money from her and it certainly won't be the last. What is she going to do when he steals the 2nd payment from her????
Don't buy it. She may have kicked him out and changed the locks but he will be back with the new key before you can say "******".
Do not advance her any payments! Very unprofessional of her to even ask a client for an advance/loan.
Both the husband and the wife need professional help. Their situation will only get worse and you do not want yourself and your 10-month old child caught up in the middle. Save yourself a ton of trouble and leave now!
***Don't know why that word got bleeped. It's not even remotely close to a curse word.
Pammie 03:45 PM 07-20-2010
Wow.
Personally I think this is crossing the line between business and personal - although that may have already been crossed because of your "distant relative" status.
As a professional daycare provider I could NEVER request such an arrangement from one of my clients - nor could I confide such a personal issue with a client.
As a parent, I would have serious concerns having my young child in a home where there was obviously such turmoil. It would also be a major red flag for me that my provider was having these serious problems in her home.
Do you expect to keep your child with this provider for the next 10 weeks until you are fully repaid, and are you confident that she's not going to quit on you (for marital problems or any other reason) before the 10 weeks are up? In my experience, a lot can change in 10 weeks, and you are likely to be out your money, and a provider.
I would advise against re-paying for last week. But that's just my opinion. Good luck to you.
JenNJ 05:41 PM 07-20-2010
I agree with the others. I would find other arrangements ASAP. I wouldn't want my child in a home daycare with family issues like that going on. God forbid he gets angry for her putting himout and decides to do something stupid and your child is there.
tymaboy 05:07 AM 07-21-2010
I agree with the others. You do not need that added stress. Us as providers need to remember when I parent comes in with a sob story like that - that it is not our problem this is a business. You must think of it in the same way. From what I understand she wants you to pay her again for a week you already paid her for. Why would or should you do that? You already paid her for the week. From the sounds of it the money is already gone. So you can not stop payment on the check. I think as a mother I would be wondering what kind of drama is going on in the house when kids are there during the time. If she has no problem asking you for more money like that is she able to keep her personal life out of her business life?
momofsix 10:33 AM 07-21-2010
I can not believe a provider would have the guts to do that. I would keep a VERY close eye on things if you keep your child there. I agree with the others, the husband will be back, and even if he's not there when the kids are, the environment will not be good.
If you've already written the check, consider yourself lucky if you get paid back. If you haven't --don't do it!
Unregistered 11:56 AM 07-21-2010
Thanks everyone. She's been doing daycare for over ten years so I don't fear she'll up and quit but I did discuss the matter with her and asked her to keep me updated on everything that goes on. Evidently he hasn't been right since he's gotten back from Iraq so I do sympathize with her. They are going to marital counseling while he lives with his brother in the meantime. Thanks for your advice.