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  #1  
Old 01-04-2016, 11:18 AM
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Ariana Ariana is online now
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Default Why Do Parents Push PT?

How do you handle parents who have ZERO experience or knowledge of potty training who are trying to push PT on their kids? Do you give them advice? tell them what you know? or just leave it for them to figure out on their own?

I have 2 two yr olds who are no where NEAR being ready for toilet training but have two very eager parents. I just don't understand parents who want potty training to go on for months. My policy is that I don't do it here until they are having success at home so it doesn't really affect me but one parent wants me to switch to cloth diapers for her kid because she wants him to "be re-aquainted with the feeling of being wet"?? That has nothing to do with being ready for a toilet...not to mention the fact that being used to being wet should not be the objective. UGH I don't mind doing cloth diapering so that is not the problem...I am just not sure if I should say anything or leave it!
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Old 01-04-2016, 11:28 AM
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Originally Posted by Ariana View Post
How do you handle parents who have ZERO experience or knowledge of potty training who are trying to push PT on their kids? Do you give them advice? tell them what you know? or just leave it for them to figure out on their own?

I have 2 two yr olds who are no where NEAR being ready for toilet training but have two very eager parents. I just don't understand parents who want potty training to go on for months. My policy is that I don't do it here until they are having success at home so it doesn't really affect me but one parent wants me to switch to cloth diapers for her kid because she wants him to "be re-aquainted with the feeling of being wet"?? That has nothing to do with being ready for a toilet...not to mention the fact that being used to being wet should not be the objective. UGH I don't mind doing cloth diapering so that is not the problem...I am just not sure if I should say anything or leave it!
I have a dcg that is 23 months and her mom text me last night ( I have been closed since Dec. 23) and asked if I wanted her to send panties or pullups for today????? I immediately replied NO PANTIES! I think some parents just don't get it. I have just went with the "my home, my rules" philosophy....I decide when a child can move on to potty-training and I decide what they will wear during this time.
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Old 01-04-2016, 11:44 AM
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I think some of it is parental peer pressure. "My child is already potty trained..." I think some parents want to be the Joneses, instead of trying to keep up with them.
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Old 01-04-2016, 11:50 AM
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Peer pressure as suggested or they don't want to pay for diapers anymore, or they just really think they are ready. I never wanted to start till close to 3 but one of my parents wanted their 2 year old to go and he did. Surprise to me!
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Old 01-04-2016, 12:21 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ariana View Post
How do you handle parents who have ZERO experience or knowledge of potty training who are trying to push PT on their kids? Do you give them advice? tell them what you know? or just leave it for them to figure out on their own?

I have 2 two yr olds who are no where NEAR being ready for toilet training but have two very eager parents. I just don't understand parents who want potty training to go on for months. My policy is that I don't do it here until they are having success at home so it doesn't really affect me but one parent wants me to switch to cloth diapers for her kid because she wants him to "be re-aquainted with the feeling of being wet"?? That has nothing to do with being ready for a toilet...not to mention the fact that being used to being wet should not be the objective. UGH I don't mind doing cloth diapering so that is not the problem...I am just not sure if I should say anything or leave it!
I'd suggest putting training underwear under the diaper or pull-up. Serves the same purpose.

Otherwise, my policy is the same as yours. When parents try to push it, I push back with my two weeks being dry AND child initiating needing to go AND child being able to do most the "work" (pulling pants up/down etc) on their own.

If they continue to push, I suggest they take time off and do whatever it is they need to do as there really is nothing I can do here that will speed the process up if the child is truly ready.

I've been in business for over 2 decades and so far none of the kids I've had in care have had issues/struggles with the rules I have in place.

I refuse to allow underwear until they've met the above requirements and I refuse to discuss the issue of wearing underwear here UNTIL that time.
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Old 01-04-2016, 12:37 PM
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Thanks everyone! It is a really frustrating issue for sure. I sometimes feel like I am being unreasonable with my rules but if I wasn't strict I'd be potty training for months. BlackCat I have in my policy that the parents should start PT when they have a considerable amount of time off to get it started and then I can pick up if they are having lots of success at home. So this particular mom starts 4 days before returning to care. ugh.

I totally get the "pressure" they feel which is why I remind them constantly that my eldest didn't potty train until after her 3rd birthday and my youngest, who is about to turn 3, still isn't potty trained. I also continually tell them how easy it is once they are ready...how it only takes a few days etc. I do know kids who are ready at 2 and it only takes 3-5 days but week after week of accidents means they are not ready no matter what age they are. I think parents think that they will eventually become potty trained if they work at it but they don't realize that after those months of accidents the child becomes ready at some point and gets it. They could have just waited and saved themselves so much headache. A friend of mine started PT her twins at 2.5 yrs (they are the same age as my eldest daughter). she was at it for months until finally at 3 years they became potty trained....basically the same time as my daughter except it took me 3 days.

Another mom I know tells everyone her 2.5 yr old is PT but he is constantly having accidents!! that is NOT potty trained I wish this issue wasn't so frustrating!!!
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Old 01-04-2016, 12:42 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ariana View Post
How do you handle parents who have ZERO experience or knowledge of potty training who are trying to push PT on their kids?
I like this kind of parents.
The kids spend most of the time with me, because of that I inform parents what they MUST start to do home and then we start potty training.
If I wait till a child have no accident during two weeks I will change his diaper very many months. I do not want it.
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Old 01-04-2016, 01:01 PM
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I would let the parents know what YOUR rules are and try to impress upon them that age makes no difference. My DS was PT shortly after turning 2, because he hated diapers. My DD was 3 and I swore she was going to kindy in diapers. I tried and tried and tried with her. It became a power struggle and about two days after I threw my hands in the air and quit, she started going in and using the potty by herself.
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Old 01-04-2016, 01:12 PM
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Originally Posted by Thriftylady View Post
I would let the parents know what YOUR rules are and try to impress upon them that age makes no difference. My DS was PT shortly after turning 2, because he hated diapers. My DD was 3 and I swore she was going to kindy in diapers. I tried and tried and tried with her. It became a power struggle and about two days after I threw my hands in the air and quit, she started going in and using the potty by herself.
EXACTLY!!! some are ready at two and some are not....either way it should be easy when they are ready!
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Old 01-04-2016, 01:36 PM
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Originally Posted by ColorfulSunburst View Post
I like this kind of parents.
The kids spend most of the time with me, because of that I inform parents what they MUST start to do home and then we start potty training.
If I wait till a child have no accident during two weeks I will change his diaper very many months. I do not want it.
I used to. But after about the 5th year of being in business, I realized that one of my personal philosophies is to NEVER make more work for me. Especially when it comes to things I believe to be parental responsibilities.

I also realized after doing my taxes one year, that I am NOT paid enough to do certain things.

As for waiting and having to change diapers.... I only keep them until they reach school age and honestly, I can change a diaper in less than 30 seconds flat. NO MATTER how old the child is.

I also think it's LESS work to change a diaper than it is to engage in, participate and complete the entire training process.

Totally understand if it makes your life easier but I just can't wrap my head around putting in all the effort when it's not replicated or even on par with the level of effort a parent puts in.
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  #11  
Old 01-04-2016, 01:52 PM
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Default Ugh!!

I was met with this issue today!!

Little one just turned 2 in November. Has been going on the potty for several months but NEVER initiates it. If you ask her if she has to go she says yes but only actually goes sometimes. I did the timed taking her to potty for about a week, when she still never initiated I quit that and have been just sitting her on potty before/after nap.

Mom shows up today and tells me "We're" trying underwear. I said that's great so she's telling you she has to go now?? (I haven't seen her in 2 weeks because of the break). Mom says no, she still is not initiating "we're just staying on top of it"....She was less than thrilled when I told her that was not how it was going to go here.

How is this potty training a child?? It's training the adults to predict when child has to go but I don't see how this is really potty training? How does she think I have time to be taking her child to the bathroom every hour? It's not quick either because she doesn't necessarily have to go so I'd end up standing there coaching her for several minutes trying to get her to go while the other children (all under 2 by the way) are unsupervised....I don't think so!
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Old 01-04-2016, 02:48 PM
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IME, parents push potty training early because they think it is necessary for "normal" development or because they don't want to buy diapers anymore. I think it is a common misconception that potty training should be a skill that takes weeks/months to master, but in reality, a child who is actually ready will get the hang of it in a day or even a few hours. My son was 3.5 and my daughter was just shy of three. I didn't want them to potty train. They just showed me THEY were ready (emphasis n THEY, not ME), and we went ahead with it all. It took them less than a day and we have been good to go ever since.
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Old 01-04-2016, 02:57 PM
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Just last week, one dcm told me she really wants her son to potty train already. She said it's because she doesn't want two kids in diapers! She's due in June. He has no interest in going on the potty at all! And he's 2.5.
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Old 01-04-2016, 03:54 PM
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Originally Posted by mommyneedsadayoff View Post
IME, parents push potty training early because they think it is necessary for "normal" development or because they don't want to buy diapers anymore. I think it is a common misconception that potty training should be a skill that takes weeks/months to master, but in reality, a child who is actually ready will get the hang of it in a day or even a few hours. My son was 3.5 and my daughter was just shy of three. I didn't want them to potty train. They just showed me THEY were ready (emphasis n THEY, not ME), and we went ahead with it all. It took them less than a day and we have been good to go ever since.
Totally agree!
Imo, parents push potty training because they want US to do the work. They think it will save them time/effort/money if they tell us their child is ready in hopes that we won't say no to doing the work.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
I used to. But after about the 5th year of being in business, I realized that one of my personal philosophies is to NEVER make more work for me. Especially when it comes to things I believe to be parental responsibilities.

I also realized after doing my taxes one year, that I am NOT paid enough to do certain things.

As for waiting and having to change diapers.... I only keep them until they reach school age and honestly, I can change a diaper in less than 30 seconds flat. NO MATTER how old the child is.

I also think it's LESS work to change a diaper than it is to engage in, participate and complete the entire training process.

Totally understand if it makes your life easier but I just can't wrap my head around putting in all the effort when it's not replicated or even on par with the level of effort a parent puts in.
Yes! I can change a diaper in a quick wink of eye. Cleaning up after an "accident" takes 30 minutes!
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Old 01-04-2016, 04:20 PM
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http://www.daycare.com/nannyde/potty...to-parents.htm
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  #16  
Old 01-04-2016, 04:43 PM
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I quickly discovered how annoying it is to have a child who uses the toilet when we were out and about and she turns and says "I need to go" in the middle of nowhere!! To me that is much harder to deal with when you have a new baby than changing a diaper which you can do at your convenience!! I would have gladly had her diapers with a newborn but she was 3.5 so I didn't have much choice
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Old 01-04-2016, 04:52 PM
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These kids can barely even say the word potty, let alone know how to ask to go.

They aren't meeting half of the developmental milestones they should be meeting but PT is the top priority. Drives me nuts!!
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Old 01-04-2016, 05:55 PM
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Today I change only infants diapers. All others 10 kids used potties. Even 3.3 yo twins, who still use diapers.
I do not care that two of my kids do not inform me that they need go to toilette. I also do not ask them "do you want...?" I just say that it is time to use their potties. That's it. After my request they do everything by themselves.
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Old 01-05-2016, 06:16 AM
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IME, kids who are not ready are extremely resistant. And I never ask anyone to do something that's not an option so it's not as if there's "confusion" over how I'm approaching them (and frankly I'm over the idea that asking a child nicely to do something initially or using "okay" at the end of a sentence causes confusion or makes them think it's a choice - they know better and we're not giving them enough credit but I digress ) in any event I'm not dragging kids kicking and screaming to the potty.

I actually am one who will PT a kid showing readiness signs here even if the parents are not. But only because I know a kid who is ready does it quickly and very soon makes less work for me.
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