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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Has a Parent Ever Disliked You?
Unregistered 05:02 PM 04-17-2016
Another thread got me thinking about the past families. In my experience, my more disagreeable (to put it nicely) families were in my beginning. Now, I can spot if someone if going to be a problem. For example, I was interviewing in September and this one family just seemed obnoxious to me. I said "Nope" mentally and couldn't put a finger on why. As they were leaving, my husband was coming in. The child actually handed him an empty gum wrapper. In a very obnoxious manner. We just laughed about it and I said how years ago, I probably would have taken that child and ignored the behavior or try to change them. One of my first families I think the mother actually disliked me as a person. She had a tough situation, but looking back she always very mean to me. One time, I put wallpaper up and she said the old paint color was nicer. I just ignored it. I also noticed she seemed resentful when I had new things, because she was always complaining about money. One year, I even gave her kids really expensive Christmas gifts because she complained about money. She never thanked me. The funny thing was she was stayed for two years. Have you ever had a parent who disliked you? I'm not talking about a rift. From jump, the parent didn't care for you.
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childcaremom 05:32 PM 04-17-2016
No. And I can't imagine someone enrolling their child with me if they didn't like me. That seems bizarre.

If I got that sort of vibe from someone, I would not enroll them, either.
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Ariana 05:48 PM 04-17-2016
It's hard to say. I definitely think one mom thought I was "the perfect mom" type and she would make these snide remarks but with a sweet smile. I had her children for 3.5 years and she never did anything nice for me at Christmas or any time really. My husband one day went over to her house to help her assemble a rabbit cage (we were neighbours) and she gave him this really thoughtful card and a $10 gift certificate for Starbucks I was beyond shocked. This was a woman that I bent over backwards for and she appreciated my husband more....eventhough he did nothing.
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BumbleBee 06:20 PM 04-17-2016
I have one now who doesn't particularly care for me, my house, the way I dress, the way I look, etc. She left for awhile to move onto bigger and better things then came crawling back with her tail between her legs.
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Sunchimes 06:21 PM 04-17-2016
Yes. Her MIL was a friend and arranged for me to keep the child when mom went back to work. I didn't realize there was bad blood between them. Mom stayed a few months, made up a lame excuse and quit. I think it wasn't me exactly, but more that her MIL liked me, so she automatically disliked me. A couple of years later there was a family emergency. My friend asked if I would be able to keep him for a few days. I never heard from them. 😃
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Unregistered 06:57 PM 04-17-2016
Originally Posted by Ariana:
It's hard to say. I definitely think one mom thought I was "the perfect mom" type and she would make these snide remarks but with a sweet smile. I had her children for 3.5 years and she never did anything nice for me at Christmas or any time really. My husband one day went over to her house to help her assemble a rabbit cage (we were neighbours) and she gave him this really thoughtful card and a $10 gift certificate for Starbucks I was beyond shocked. This was a woman that I bent over backwards for and she appreciated my husband more....eventhough he did nothing.
That's one thing that really bothered me about the situation. One of the families I had met up with her in kinder and she was always so nice to the teachers and giving nice gifts. She was still having money problems and getting aid. It's not like she was doing better financially. I never wanted a present, but just to be nice. A different family took me on part time and then full time and confessed they only did part time because they couldn't find anyone else and they knew her and she bad mouthed me. Most of the stuff wasn't true.
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finsup 07:07 PM 04-17-2016
I had one dcm who was very jealous of me. She was frequently rude and tried to "prove me wrong" or argue over any and everything. Needless to say it didn't work out. She was still jealous and 100% didn't like me after I termed them
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EntropyControlSpecialist 07:23 PM 04-17-2016
Yes. I've had one enrolled for almost a year that fakes nice until I enforce a policy and then it's clear that she doesn't like me as a person. It goes beyond the not liking that I won't play by her rules...although I can't describe it without revealing too much publicly. I remain the same and they have tried to look for care elsewhere. Couldn't find anyone who offered what I offer for the price I offer it at. I can't say I care for her either.
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HL0605 07:30 PM 04-17-2016
Oh, yeah, I have one right now. She's fake nice and pleasant until something bothers her, and then it completely shows. She's defensive, critical, and I don't think she cares for me at all. Weirdly, she's been here for over two years. We manage to get by because we only have to see each other for a few minutes a day :-)
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Play Care 04:03 AM 04-18-2016
I honestly don't know - or care.

I mean, they may be upset if I enforce policy, but generally clients are respectful to my face. I can't speak as to what's in their hearts, but that's none of my business anyway.

If someone were rude, or making snarky comments or making me feel as though they didn't respect me, then I would think it would fall into the "bad fit" category and it would be time for them to move on.
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Blackcat31 08:43 AM 04-18-2016
Originally Posted by Play Care:
I honestly don't know - or care.

I mean, they may be upset if I enforce policy, but generally clients are respectful to my face. I can't speak as to what's in their hearts, but that's none of my business anyway.

If someone were rude, or making snarky comments or making me feel as though they didn't respect me, then I would think it would fall into the "bad fit" category and it would be time for them to move on.


I don't care either. Liking someone isn't required in the service industry. Yes, I can see how it's important for some in family child care but honestly, I am not spending all day with the parent so whether or not they "like" me is irrelevant.

As a parent, I didn't "like" my children's provider much. Just not someone I could ever be "friendly" with.

However, my kids LOVED her! I didn't worry about safety or how well she cared for them when they were there because I didn't doubt for a minute that she didn't like my kids and vice versa. She just wasn't someone I could see myself being friends with her....

As a provider I had a parent a little while back that I know didn't much like me but again her children did and that's what really mattered. I had the family from the birth of their first child until their last one aged out and went to Kindy do a total of 9 years. The parent was always respectful and followed my policies but never rude.

So in both scenarios, "liking" each other wasnt required.
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DaveA 10:21 AM 04-18-2016
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:


I don't care either. Liking someone isn't required in the service industry. Yes, I can see how it's important for some in family child care but honestly, I am not spending all day with the parent so whether or not they "like" me is irrelevant.

As a parent, I didn't "like" my children's provider much. Just not someone I could ever be "friendly" with.

However, my kids LOVED her! I didn't worry about safety or how well she cared for them when they were there because I didn't doubt for a minute that she didn't like my kids and vice versa. She just wasn't someone I could see myself being friends with her....

As a provider I had a parent a little while back that I know didn't much like me but again her children did and that's what really mattered. I had the family from the birth of their first child until their last one aged out and went to Kindy do a total of 9 years. The parent was always respectful and followed my policies but never rude.

So in both scenarios, "liking" each other wasnt required.
Agreed. I'm not particularly "warm and fuzzy", so a DCP's personal opinion of me is irrelevant. If they had an issue with my professional abilities is one thing. Not being a new friend is another. While I would prefer DCPs like me, it's not a big deal.
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thrivingchildcarecom 11:27 AM 04-18-2016
Yep! I sure have. I did just what you did and ignored it, for way too long. I remember this one mom was rude at the tour. Her family didn't follow the policies and I had issues with them for 3 years. Yep, I said 3 years. I actually can attribute a whole host of new policies I added because of this family.

I finally had to force them to leave. I was actually glad I did, but I am also thankful for the experience because, just as you said, it helped me to spot the problem people early and simply avoid the situation if possible. As someone once said, "Not all money is good money."
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KidGrind 04:54 PM 04-18-2016
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Another thread got me thinking about the past families. In my experience, my more disagreeable (to put it nicely) families were in my beginning. Now, I can spot if someone if going to be a problem. For example, I was interviewing in September and this one family just seemed obnoxious to me. I said "Nope" mentally and couldn't put a finger on why. As they were leaving, my husband was coming in. The child actually handed him an empty gum wrapper. In a very obnoxious manner. We just laughed about it and I said how years ago, I probably would have taken that child and ignored the behavior or try to change them. One of my first families I think the mother actually disliked me as a person. She had a tough situation, but looking back she always very mean to me. One time, I put wallpaper up and she said the old paint color was nicer. I just ignored it. I also noticed she seemed resentful when I had new things, because she was always complaining about money. One year, I even gave her kids really expensive Christmas gifts because she complained about money. She never thanked me. The funny thing was she was stayed for two years. Have you ever had a parent who disliked you? I'm not talking about a rift. From jump, the parent didn't care for you.
Iíve been aware of two.
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CityGarden 03:00 AM 04-20-2016
Originally Posted by EntropyControlSpecialist:
Yes. I've had one enrolled for almost a year that fakes nice until I enforce a policy and then it's clear that she doesn't like me as a person. It goes beyond the not liking that I won't play by her rules...although I can't describe it without revealing too much publicly. I remain the same and they have tried to look for care elsewhere. Couldn't find anyone who offered what I offer for the price I offer it at. I can't say I care for her either.
Same experience here!!! That is the mom I deal with 100% and how I feel about her. Only difference is it is not in my preschool setting but in my Girl Scout Troop! (LOL)

I am the leader and the mom who does not like me is new to the school. The mom was a leader at her daughter's last troop and assumed she would just jump in a be a leader in the new one I tried to involve her and she wanted to take over so that obviously would not work. If her daughter wants to do Girl Scouts with her new friends there was sadly no way around me (and she tried). She is now fake nice and I am the same toward her.... I actually hope one day both of us can move beyond the fake to something better (we will never be friends) but our girls do have a long journey in both school and scouting together so it will make it easier for us but only time will improve it.
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Thriftylady 08:15 AM 04-20-2016
I am sure some have, and I have disliked some of them. It was probably mutual. But I feel like it is fine to not like someone as long as you are respectful. As long as that line can be held, I don't really care.
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Tags:bad parent, dislike, parents - don't like provider
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