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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Feeling Compeletly Stressed Out....
mrsnj 07:31 AM 07-02-2014
We just had our final DYFS meeting yesterday in regard to my divorce drama momma (they still had to interview my older son). The worker was very friendly and said she was closing her end of the case (she handled the charges against me and my children) due to unfounded issues. Said that the DC part could take up to 60 days to close (
) but that she knows he is going to close out his end. Was just a matter of when. 60 days is the whole summer! My DH is waiting for those reports to take to his lawyer. In the end I said "Done!" We are finished here. Shut that door yesterday and moved on.
Then..... I saw them do a drive by my house slow on the way to the fathers yesterday (they are neighbors). I am out in the pool with my older kids so I get everyone out and get dressed so we don't get stuck interviewing in swimsuit etc. They didn't come back to me. Seems dad was filing his own report against Drama momma. God I am so over this mess! Told him he better not drag me back in. I am done! Friday I was mad. Today I feel like I am on eggshells. Like they are watching (you know...for those 20 kids to go running around the neighborhood!
Surely they won't cause they are really duct taped in the closets in peed pants while they stand in timeouts ). They aren't there. But it still stresses me. I'm on edge. I don't want to take the kids in the pool...what if they come while I am in there and have to rush them all out. What if I am going for a walk and they come back and are sitting again on my door step. It is about the most nerve wracking thing EVER. It was one thing to attack the DC. I expected that. I was ready. I was NOT expecting charges against me as a parent. They are clearly unfounded. But it angers me that this woman thinks its all a game and funny. This is not only my BUSINESS. This is my FAMILY! And she isn't the type to just say she did it to just sting. She is the type to keep calling over and over and over just to try and prove a point. She has done it to her husband for the last year. Dad reported yesterday around 2. So she should be getting her interview this afternoon....so you know what is coming tomorrow. Man. They can keep their mud slinging over there!
I am not saying he isn't justified. Her drug test from court came back positive for 4 drugs. He went yesterday to pick up the girls and they were all still in bed at 8:30. The boyfriend sleeping over. Mom was 'passed out' again. Sigh. I cannot understand a system that allows people to abuse it and still keeps the children with the mom cause 'its the law'. Something is broken somewhere.
Sorry for the long blah blah blah. I just needed to rant I guess to those who I know would understand. Feeling just kinda bummed today
I was so looking forward to a peaceful summer. Water play days....sun...sand...fun. Now I am on edge and going to get an ulcer.
) but that she knows he is going to close out his end. Was just a matter of when. 60 days is the whole summer! My DH is waiting for those reports to take to his lawyer. In the end I said "Done!" We are finished here. Shut that door yesterday and moved on. Then..... I saw them do a drive by my house slow on the way to the fathers yesterday (they are neighbors). I am out in the pool with my older kids so I get everyone out and get dressed so we don't get stuck interviewing in swimsuit etc. They didn't come back to me. Seems dad was filing his own report against Drama momma.
God I am so over this mess! Told him he better not drag me back in. I am done! Friday I was mad. Today I feel like I am on eggshells. Like they are watching (you know...for those 20 kids to go running around the neighborhood! Surely they won't cause they are really duct taped in the closets in peed pants while they stand in timeouts ). They aren't there. But it still stresses me. I'm on edge. I don't want to take the kids in the pool...what if they come while I am in there and have to rush them all out. What if I am going for a walk and they come back and are sitting again on my door step. It is about the most nerve wracking thing EVER. It was one thing to attack the DC. I expected that. I was ready. I was NOT expecting charges against me as a parent. They are clearly unfounded. But it angers me that this woman thinks its all a game and funny. This is not only my BUSINESS. This is my FAMILY! And she isn't the type to just say she did it to just sting. She is the type to keep calling over and over and over just to try and prove a point. She has done it to her husband for the last year. Dad reported yesterday around 2. So she should be getting her interview this afternoon....so you know what is coming tomorrow. Man. They can keep their mud slinging over there!I am not saying he isn't justified. Her drug test from court came back positive for 4 drugs. He went yesterday to pick up the girls and they were all still in bed at 8:30. The boyfriend sleeping over. Mom was 'passed out' again. Sigh. I cannot understand a system that allows people to abuse it and still keeps the children with the mom cause 'its the law'. Something is broken somewhere.
Sorry for the long blah blah blah. I just needed to rant I guess to those who I know would understand. Feeling just kinda bummed today
I was so looking forward to a peaceful summer. Water play days....sun...sand...fun. Now I am on edge and going to get an ulcer.
Leigh 07:40 AM 07-02-2014
I understand where you are coming from, and you are correct the system is broken. I am a foster parent, and it sickens me every day to think that the kids in my care can go back to the abusive, neglectful environment where they are exposed to parents using drugs and getting drunk 24/7, moms with abusive boyfriends in and out of the kids' lives (who abuse Mom and kids). It happens all the time. I encourage you to take out your frustrations the way that I do: writing to lawmakers and demanding accountability for the judicial and legal system that allows this to keep happening. Laws need to be strengthened and need to be enforced. We need oversight for judges who keep leaving kids in these situations and sending them back to these situations. The "laws" always say that kids are always better off with parents, but this is simply not true. Kids are better off with GOOD parents. Just because Mom has always had custody does not mean that the kids aren't better off with Dad!
NightOwl 07:42 AM 07-02-2014
DON'T LET THIS RUIN YOUR SUMMER! If you allow that to happen, then she DOES win! That's what she wants, for you to be on edge, stressed, paranoid. Don't let her win! That's the best vindication, imho.
You go to the pool, you go for a walk, you go on as usual. Dhr has her pegged as a false reporter and yes, they'll have to come investigate every.single.time.she.calls, but so what?? It's a formality at this point. Let them come. Do the interview in swimsuits. Make the worker walk with you. Don't let this woman interrupt your life any more than she already has!
You go to the pool, you go for a walk, you go on as usual. Dhr has her pegged as a false reporter and yes, they'll have to come investigate every.single.time.she.calls, but so what?? It's a formality at this point. Let them come. Do the interview in swimsuits. Make the worker walk with you. Don't let this woman interrupt your life any more than she already has!
Laurel 10:58 AM 07-02-2014
Originally Posted by Wednesday:
DON'T LET THIS RUIN YOUR SUMMER! If you allow that to happen, then she DOES win! That's what she wants, for you to be on edge, stressed, paranoid. Don't let her win! That's the best vindication, imho.
You go to the pool, you go for a walk, you go on as usual. Dhr has her pegged as a false reporter and yes, they'll have to come investigate every.single.time.she.calls, but so what?? It's a formality at this point. Let them come. Do the interview in swimsuits. Make the worker walk with you. Don't let this woman interrupt your life any more than she already has!
DON'T LET THIS RUIN YOUR SUMMER! If you allow that to happen, then she DOES win! That's what she wants, for you to be on edge, stressed, paranoid. Don't let her win! That's the best vindication, imho.
You go to the pool, you go for a walk, you go on as usual. Dhr has her pegged as a false reporter and yes, they'll have to come investigate every.single.time.she.calls, but so what?? It's a formality at this point. Let them come. Do the interview in swimsuits. Make the worker walk with you. Don't let this woman interrupt your life any more than she already has!
mrsnj 11:24 AM 07-02-2014
I'm blaming myself too. What if I didn't complain about the late fees. What if I just road it out till the end. What if I had termed last summer when I had an issue with her. My friend said you can't explain crazy and it mattered little when or why I termed. The end result would have likely been the same. I guess she's right. One can only be walked on so long before you shout enough!
Now I wonder if I will get another dyfs call or a notice about small claims for what she thinks I owe her. I doubt she's done. Only hope is she is directing her attention toward her husband now.
I hear ya. I know your right. Just a matter of getting my mindset there
Now I wonder if I will get another dyfs call or a notice about small claims for what she thinks I owe her. I doubt she's done. Only hope is she is directing her attention toward her husband now.
I hear ya. I know your right. Just a matter of getting my mindset there
mrsnj 11:28 AM 07-02-2014
Leigh- I thought about doing that but I'm not so sure I could for the exact reasons you stated. That would break my heart to pieces
AmyKidsCo 02:59 PM 07-02-2014
Originally Posted by mrsnj:
I'm blaming myself too. What if I didn't complain about the late fees. What if I just road it out till the end. What if I had termed last summer when I had an issue with her. My friend said you can't explain crazy and it mattered little when or why I termed. The end result would have likely been the same. I guess she's right. One can only be walked on so long before you shout enough!
Now I wonder if I will get another dyfs call or a notice about small claims for what she thinks I owe her. I doubt she's done. Only hope is she is directing her attention toward her husband now.
I hear ya. I know your right. Just a matter of getting my mindset there
Your friend is right - you can't explain crazy. It's not your fault at all that she decided to go batsh*t on you, and if you spend your life walking on eggshells to avoid setting off someone else you'll be miserable. I'm sorry you're going through all of this though. I'm blaming myself too. What if I didn't complain about the late fees. What if I just road it out till the end. What if I had termed last summer when I had an issue with her. My friend said you can't explain crazy and it mattered little when or why I termed. The end result would have likely been the same. I guess she's right. One can only be walked on so long before you shout enough!
Now I wonder if I will get another dyfs call or a notice about small claims for what she thinks I owe her. I doubt she's done. Only hope is she is directing her attention toward her husband now.
I hear ya. I know your right. Just a matter of getting my mindset there
midaycare 03:56 PM 07-02-2014
Wishing you the happiest of summers from here on out.