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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Need Advice..Please
Provider_Manda 08:57 AM 10-14-2016
Looking for advice to help A very shy and backward child. She's 22 months old, only child. She likes to hang around me but will NOT interact with the other children. She rarely plays with toys, or play dough. Unless I engage her. Outside play she just stands. I'm at a loss.. any advice?
MarinaVanessa 09:34 AM 10-14-2016
She could just be a slow to warm type of child. It will just take time and encouragement. She'll look for attention from you because she'll feel safer. I've had a few of those and when I couldn't be immediately within arms reach I would set up a quiet activity for them to work on like puzzles or coloring etc. It could be the noise is too much, or too much activity and it's not their style or personality, could be a sensory issue.
Denali 09:41 AM 10-14-2016
I'd find out what she likes. Elmo? Princess? Dora? Anything like that... I had a kid like this, loved Elmo, so I picked up some things, and made an Elmo week (what's red like Elmo/what's fuzzy like Elmo?). All kids loved it, DCB started to get involved, it's hard not to when everyone else is talking/playing about something you love! I kept pulling back from the play/conversations until before we knew it he was interacting much better with the other kids. 
It was so much fun for everyone that for a while we did a week of everyone's fav person/character.
It was so much fun for everyone that for a while we did a week of everyone's fav person/character.
Ariana 11:31 AM 10-14-2016
I have a child like this right now! She is close to 3 and behaves very similarly. She is only with me two days a week though so it is tolerable. No advice just commiseration. I think this is what happens when kids get way too much adult direction.
daycare 11:41 AM 10-14-2016
how long has she been there?
Mom2Two 11:49 AM 10-14-2016
Sounds like my daughter. DD loved animals, story time, scribbling etc. She just preferred quiet, gentle play by herself at that age.
Provider_Manda 11:59 AM 10-14-2016
Originally Posted by daycare:
how long has she been there?
Comes 2 days a week, and has been here a month.how long has she been there?
cassiesue 06:10 AM 10-15-2016
I just termed my first family and they had a 2-year-old boy exactly like this, although that is not why I termed them.
He supposedly had been in childcare before. It seemed like he just did not know how to play. During outside play he would just stand around. Give everyone a Popsicle and he just holds his and lets it melt. Even on a one to one he just seemed oblivious to all attempts to engage him.
He was here 6 days. However, I had kept him and his brother once before, but the mother lost her job for a while.
I termed them due to unrealistic expectations. Claimed the 2-year-old was completely potty trained. Took him to the bathroom and he acted as if he never saw a potty chair before. However, he was non-verbal and had zero signs of potty readiness. They wanted me to place him on the pot every 15 mins or so and hold him there 2-3 minutes. I explained this was not how I do business and that I had a 4-month-old in my care and if I did what they were suggesting she might go potty once or twice a day too, but it did not make her potty trained.
Soooooooooo glad that I found this website. I do have a 4 page contract (that covers 75% financial issues), but now I will be creating a separate handbook and create a formal potty training policy among others.
He supposedly had been in childcare before. It seemed like he just did not know how to play. During outside play he would just stand around. Give everyone a Popsicle and he just holds his and lets it melt. Even on a one to one he just seemed oblivious to all attempts to engage him.
He was here 6 days. However, I had kept him and his brother once before, but the mother lost her job for a while.
I termed them due to unrealistic expectations. Claimed the 2-year-old was completely potty trained. Took him to the bathroom and he acted as if he never saw a potty chair before. However, he was non-verbal and had zero signs of potty readiness. They wanted me to place him on the pot every 15 mins or so and hold him there 2-3 minutes. I explained this was not how I do business and that I had a 4-month-old in my care and if I did what they were suggesting she might go potty once or twice a day too, but it did not make her potty trained.
Soooooooooo glad that I found this website. I do have a 4 page contract (that covers 75% financial issues), but now I will be creating a separate handbook and create a formal potty training policy among others.
daycare 08:08 AM 10-15-2016
so she's only been to your place 6 times, she's what I call still in the stray cat phase.
. I have a child like this has been with me for a little over a year. I suggest more days and the family went full time.
However during that time I really got to know the child. She is an only child, she's VERY shy and doesn't enjoy loud. I can picture her as an adult as the one at the party who escapes to a quiet room to read a book.
Now that she is full time, she is really starting to open up and talk to me and the kids. Before it was ZERO talking and ZERO playing.
It's ok to be different, we all have found ways to include her and talk with her, even the kids. I found ways to always include her with the kids play. And now that she's talking I'm helping her to ask her friends to play. She's 3.5
When I asked her questions, she would never respond. So now I always give her two options, one of the options always being the right answer. For example what's on your shirt ? When she wont answer I will say is it a pig or a dog, then she responds with the right answer every time.
I have had many children like this over the years. I am the exact opposite, I am loud, crazy and can't be quiet.
. I have a child like this has been with me for a little over a year. I suggest more days and the family went full time.
However during that time I really got to know the child. She is an only child, she's VERY shy and doesn't enjoy loud. I can picture her as an adult as the one at the party who escapes to a quiet room to read a book.
Now that she is full time, she is really starting to open up and talk to me and the kids. Before it was ZERO talking and ZERO playing.
It's ok to be different, we all have found ways to include her and talk with her, even the kids. I found ways to always include her with the kids play. And now that she's talking I'm helping her to ask her friends to play. She's 3.5
When I asked her questions, she would never respond. So now I always give her two options, one of the options always being the right answer. For example what's on your shirt ? When she wont answer I will say is it a pig or a dog, then she responds with the right answer every time.
I have had many children like this over the years. I am the exact opposite, I am loud, crazy and can't be quiet.
cassiesue 08:25 AM 10-16-2016
I have another child like this, a 3-year-old little girl. The very first day I had her she literally screamed all day. When a nurse called about an appointment she couldn't help but overhear. I joked that this was her first and last day, but was actually serious. The nurse asked me to stick it out that the child might need me and perhaps God had put me in her life. Meanwhile I am debating if she is the spawn of Satan, lol.
I did stick it out with her. It took a lot of time and patience. She did not do well playing with others and still doesn't. In the afternoon she can not go out with the other children if only my assistant goes out with them as she doesn't listen at all.
She now has been here about 6 months. She was full-time, but now is only on a drop-off basis as her mom's hours got reduced. No more crying at drop-offs. No more screaming!!! But she still does not play well with others.
I think she is special needs in some way. Her mom claims no. Her dad agrees with me. Apparently her pediatrician claims she is not. But one day when I had to take my son to MD, she came along as I never leave her with the assistant. He immediately suggested braces as she has odd gait, special shoes (as she walks on tiptoes) and speech. I told him I agreed but she was not my child.
My only advice is to know your limitations. Also if she is not disrupting your group's atmosphere try giving her a bit longer to adjust.
I did stick it out with her. It took a lot of time and patience. She did not do well playing with others and still doesn't. In the afternoon she can not go out with the other children if only my assistant goes out with them as she doesn't listen at all.
She now has been here about 6 months. She was full-time, but now is only on a drop-off basis as her mom's hours got reduced. No more crying at drop-offs. No more screaming!!! But she still does not play well with others.
I think she is special needs in some way. Her mom claims no. Her dad agrees with me. Apparently her pediatrician claims she is not. But one day when I had to take my son to MD, she came along as I never leave her with the assistant. He immediately suggested braces as she has odd gait, special shoes (as she walks on tiptoes) and speech. I told him I agreed but she was not my child.
My only advice is to know your limitations. Also if she is not disrupting your group's atmosphere try giving her a bit longer to adjust.