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radhas 01:20 PM 05-16-2012
I am so tired of my Assistant. Actually, My assistant is my son's friends' mom and I know her for the past 11 years. When I started the daycare, she said she will help me , so i hired her. She agreed to work 5 days a week/ 2.5 hours a day and get paid $500 per month( I do only after school). But, now I have been hearing stories for the past 2 months that she has been spreading rumours about me and my daycare. But, I did not want to ask her. But,yesterday my friend called me and told that my assistant called her to complaint about me that I am not paying her as I said, not giving freedom in the daycare to do something , introducing her to parents as an assistant etc. She is spoiling the name of my daycare in my son's school too where I have 13 daycare kids come from. I thought of asking her, but my husband says not to ask her anything since its just 3 weeks more to end the school and kick her out at the end of the year. I would like some of your experience and opinions too. I am so stressed.
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Unregistered 01:31 PM 05-16-2012
I'm assuming your are certified. But do you actually need her help, or can you get by on your own for the next three weeks? Because I don't see how bad mouthing you can benefit you what so ever. Especially since word of mouth is really how we get ourselves out there. So I would take care of that as soon as you can before she does more damage.
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radhas 01:40 PM 05-16-2012
Yes, I am licensed and certified. But, I have 14 kids and I do need an assistant. My substitute is out of country due to emergency, so that is why I am really concerned.
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daycare 01:51 PM 05-16-2012
Originally Posted by radhas:
Yes, I am licensed and certified. But, I have 14 kids and I do need an assistant. My substitute is out of country due to emergency, so that is why I am really concerned.
I am one to communicate and don't like to just let things go.....ignoring the problem will not resolve it..

If it were me, i would tell her exactly what you told us....I would ask her if she is not happy with something and talk about how you could go about making things right. The longer you let it go, the more time she has to keep on talking bad about you....

I would be talking to her today after kids left

You want to nip this now
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Sugar Magnolia 04:44 PM 05-16-2012
I think Donald Trump said it best "You're fired!"
But seriously, let her go. The down side is she may ramp up the smack she has been running if you do that. I would be honest and say "the grapevine informed me you are not happy here, and the negative comments you have been making are unacceptable. Since you chose to tell other people your complaints, instead of addressing your issues with me, I have little choice but to terminate your employment here." Give licensing a heads up, tell your son you hope the friend will remain his friend after you fire the mom. I am sorry this happened to you. Good luck.
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cheerfuldom 06:31 PM 05-16-2012
Sounds like she thought she would be a partner, not an assistant. She's not liking to be in the employee position, with someone else calling the shots. I personally would wait it out for 3 weeks because legally, you have to have an assistant right?
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Heidi 06:39 PM 05-16-2012
If someone thought YOU were talking bad about them, what would you want them to do? Ask you, right?

I would ask her very kindly if there is something that is bothering her. Let her know you want to work it out, but that if she doesn't talk to YOU, you can't fix it.
If she denies the problem, get through the next few weeks so you stay legal, be as nice as you can, and then let her know you won't need her back next year.
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mac60 06:41 PM 05-16-2012
Heidi said it well.
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DaisyMamma 04:14 AM 05-17-2012
Heidi is exactly right. Being mean and firing her off the bat will only cause more talk.
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Michelle 07:13 AM 05-17-2012
Heidi is right because you don't know for sure what people are saying is true or if she is just ranting to a close friend and the friend can't keep thing confidential and it spread that way.
So definitely talk to her directly!
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MyAngels 07:19 AM 05-17-2012
Another vote for Heidi's answer.

Good luck, hope things work out well for you!
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Childminder 07:34 AM 05-17-2012
Yes, just come out and tell her that rumors are that she is unhappy but that you wanted to ask her straight up if she is having problems working for you. Give her the opportunity to quit if she is rather than you firing her.
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radhas 10:49 AM 05-17-2012
Thank You everyone. I finally talked to her and she is not accepting anything. She said "I hate this job and you get lots of money and pay me less and I hate to be with school age kids. I wanted to quit." Then I told her its too late to quit now and you have to continue through next three weeks and quit. She accepted it. But, still I hate to see her face everyday. Thank You all for your support.
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Tags:assistant, assistant - from hell
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