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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Opinion - Animal Abuse?
Unregistered 06:43 PM 02-16-2012
I have a client that I already know is VERY neglectful to her children to the point of being reported. I have also heard how she handles her dog at home. Not well, abusive! She even dumped a bucket of water on a stray at her house in the winter!!! Now I am having a problem and since I already don't care for her at all I wonder if I am wrong here. What do you think of this situation?

Problem is once in a while a stray cat will wander along and linger a bit. Usually they leave within a day. Last summer a stray had kittens and someone took her kittens so she lingered for a few weeks. DCM (she hates all cats) hated that the cat was here and since I pointed out the cat was a stray and may not have shots she always yelled at the kids for trying to pet it. She made threats that she would dump that cat somehwere if it didn't go away soon. I told her she better not! She said she has dumped many cats. Cat came up missing the next day. She denies it and I have no proof so I buried it in the back of my mind.

Now for the past 4 months the neighborhood has a cat that is so sweet well groomed, well fed. All the neighborshood kids play with her. We all think it belongs to someone because none of us feed it and it's beautiful even a little over fed. It ventures around a couple times a week and visits everyone. Its a glutten for attention and will rush to us when it sees any of us outside. DCM has seen the cat and I told her right off I think it belongs to someone but keep the kids away as it may not have shots. DCM only manages to see it maybe 3 times a month. When she does see it she yells at it. I say "aww don't yell she's friendly" (trying to let her know in a nice way that I disapprove) It will run up the stairs purring and she will bat it with her foot. I give a dirty look and go on.

Well today the cat was out and visiting. This morning she walked with us to school and back with me. DCM is here early and sees the cat come back with me and starts yelling "GET". (not her business!!!) I put the cat in the yard so the kids can get up the steps (cat can jump right out but to apease DCM...) DCM comes stays her usual 15 minutes and leaves. The cat is at my door and DCM says "If that cat doesn't stop coming around I will do what I did with the last one" I spoke up "WHAT did you do with the last one?" She stutters and says "oh uhhh I meant, ummm nothing just put it in the yard" BS I know now what happened! She did dump that cat as she had threatened! Funny after 3 weeks it was missing the next day! I said "well fine but this cat better not come up missing!" She just walked away.

Pick up 5:00 I hear DCM on the porch yelling before she even rang the doorbell! I opened the door to see who she was yelling at. The cat! I asked what the problem was. She said "that damn cat again." I let her in and hand her the sign out sheet. She lingers as usual while DCG is trying to open the door. DCM shuts it keeps talking. (mad) DCG opens the door a crack again, DCM shuts it again keeps talking. grrr I am mad so I open the door and there hangs the cat on my screen! The cat does that when someone stands in the doorway but doesnt come out. She will jump down and wait for you to go see her. She must have known we were there when DCG kept opening the door. So DCM sees the cat hanging and pushes past us to open the door and grabs the cat by the back skin not even her collar!! The cat looks terrified and DCM is just pulling she gets her off and tosses her to the porch. MAD !!! I say "OK! that's it it is time to go". I let the kids out and the cat is sitting on the porch licking its paw. DCM turns picks her up and literally throws her off of my porch!!! MAD MAD MAD!!! I am so shocked I couldn't speak!! The porch is only about 5 feet up but add the height from her tossing her at her chest height as well maybe about 9 feet up and out she threw her because she had to clear my garden. I rush out to check the cat. Shes walking in the yard and DCM yells at her kids and gets in her car. I want to tell her off so bad!!! I kept my mouth shut I tend to overreact when it comes to kids and pets. I went in the house and slammed my door!

So now here I am this evening still mad and don't even want to see her face in the morning. I wish the owner of the cat would have seen her and told her off. I am fed up with her thinking she runs my daycare! Am I overreacting? WWYD?
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Michael 08:04 PM 02-16-2012
People that abuse animals will eventually abuse people.

http://www.pet-abuse.com/pages/abuse_connection.php
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laundrymom 08:14 PM 02-16-2012
I would terminate services, report her to animal cruelties and tell her that she is a cold hearted B - itch who is lucky that she caught me on a good day.
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Sprouts 08:36 PM 02-16-2012
This lady sounds crazy I would be careful...I'm sorry I don't really know what to say in this situation

Maybe terminate her, make it a reason that is "out of your hands"....
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mac60 03:51 AM 02-17-2012
There is nothing illegal about "dumping" a cat to the country. People are just as irresponsible with their pets as they are with their kids. I had a neighbor who several years ago started feeding strays. The one or two strays turned into over 25 cats running the neighborhood, pooping on my front porch and landscaping. Litter after litter, the population just kept getting bigger. Sick, ferrel cats. After the poop incident on my front porch I called the city over and over again. Because our city did not have a cat ordinance then, we were told to either 1. Catch the cats and take them to the country and shoot them, 2. Catch the cats and take them to the country and let them out. Umm, I should not have to do any of this because they are not my cats. Eventually the city did come down and trap the cats and the problem has went away, along with the city passing a cat ordinance that cats must be leashed if outside.

Ferrel cats are not people friendly, and they carry diseases. That cat was probably a ferrel cat. as they are usually the strays. That woman had no right to say or do anything on your property with cat. I would probably tell her just what you have to say about the situation, and not be nice about it. People can be so cruel when it comes to animals. You are not over reacting, I would of been pissed too. But then, I wouldn't want my young children around a ferrel cat either. Good luck facing her this morning.
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Cat Herder 04:03 AM 02-17-2012
Originally Posted by laundrymom:
I would terminate services, report her to animal cruelties and tell her that she is a cold hearted B - itch who is lucky that she caught me on a good day.
What she said but not as polite.

I currently care for 5 cats that were dumped in the country; AKA my property (all fixed/current on all shots/flea tx, now).

People like this should fear karma.
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bunnyslippers 04:37 AM 02-17-2012
I would not allow her back on my property. She is not respecting how you want animals treated on your property, and she sounds like a nut.
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countrymom 06:15 AM 02-17-2012
I have a cat, but he's an indoor cat. I understand where mom is coming from about you guys touching the cat. I don't care what kind of cat it is, they carry diseases. If it was someones cat it should have a collar on it. What happens if the cat has fleas, then those fleas will enter your daycare. You need to be really careful.
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Zoe 06:21 AM 02-17-2012
Personally I would terminate her based on her violent behavior.

If you really think this cat is not a stray then I beg you to put the cat in a kennel or something you have in your house and FIND the owner! Tell them that you have a person running around dumping cats and you're afraid something bad is going to happen to their pet if he's continually allowed to roam around outside. I don't think people should let their pets run free anyway, but that's a different topic.
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Blackcat31 06:27 AM 02-17-2012
Originally Posted by Catherder:

People like this should fear karma.


IMO, it doesn't matter whos cat it is or isn't, this DCM knows full well how you feel about it and she is acting VERY disrespectfully on YOUR property! That alone would make me livid!!

If she has a legit concern about the cat, she needs to discuss it with you like a big girl and stop acting so rediculously immature!!

FWIW~ where I live it IS illegal to dump an animal.
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SilverSabre25 06:50 AM 02-17-2012
mac I'm not so sure she means dropping it into the county animal shelter...I suspect this lady's use of the word dump is a lot more sinister.
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JenNJ 06:57 AM 02-17-2012
there are a lot of people wrong in this situation.

1. Cat's owner. Why is the cat allowed to bother others at their home? Irresponsible as a pet owner. The cat could become a target (like with this mom) or be hurt accidentally.

2. Your town. They need to deal with the cat issue. It is unsafe for feral cats to be running loose on the streets. It is a public health issue. If these are pets, they need to have ID on them.

3. Mom. She just sounds mean. But, I can understand her concern for her child. I would not be happy if my kid was somewhere and a lot of strange cats were running around.

4. You. I think you aren't listening to her concerns. I would be aggravated that my provider is ignoring my concerns about unknown animals and seemed to be encouraging their presence. You do not get to make these decisions for others children.

All in all, this does not sound like a good match. You should let her go for "irreconcilable differences."
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Unregistered 12:08 PM 02-17-2012
OP here. Just for the record I don't think her concerns are for her kids at all. She lets her kids run in the street for just 1 example of her neglect. She told me point blank she hates cats so that's the reason for her actions. It was ok when a fluffly dog came walking down the street last month. I didn't she her do anything to the dog (she has a dog) She even let the kids pet the dog after she did. Dogs can do just as much damage as a cat if not more.

How am I wrong here? I have NO control over cats that roam. I have called the shelter many times and they always say cats can roam but dogs can't. Stupid rule I know but there it is.

As for the dumping in the country or elsewhere it is illegal and comes with a fine. I was also told that by the shelter.

A neighbor told me this morning that they saw her throw the cat and if it wasn't for my income they would have come over and went off on her. I told her this morning that the neighbor saw her and may still say something so just let me deal with the cat. She said cat's always land on their feet she has thrown many. I got stern and told her the cat is rarely ever here so leave it be I will handle it besides she is going to make it mad and cause a possible attack by her actions against it. (she is the only one showing agression not the cat) She said let that cat attack her it will be the last person it attacks. I told her if she just leaves it alone it shouldn't bother her. She said whatever and left. I am trying to replace her for other reasons.

I have spoken with 3 neighbors and no one knows who it belongs to but they agree it is someones otherwise we would see it more often or it wouldn't return at all because no one feeds it. It is either getting out by accident or someone is letting it out. I looked at it closly there is no dirt in the fur like there is usual strays. It doesn't have an odor like it lays in dirt etc. I will ask around some more and see if I can find an owner. I just take offense to being blamed even in part for any of this! DCM has never discussed fear of her childrens safety with me just gets angry as soon as she sees a cat! If it were a matter of her kids safety she wouldn't allow them around a dog either but she welcomes stray dogs. Go figure.
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Unregistered 12:17 PM 02-17-2012
I could not handle watching an animal treated that way, nor would I want children seeing an animal treated that way. She would not be welcome on my property again after that.
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saved4always 02:24 PM 02-17-2012
The mom does sound like a nut and plain mean.

I do suggest though being very careful with cats. I would not let the dck's touch a cat that wanders into my yard, even if I know who owns it. My neighbor's husband got scratched by thier own cat last year and he almost died from whatever kind of infection he got. I don't remember all the details now but he was in the hospital in a coma for a little bit and he did not come home quite the same. I think he had/has memory issues. I don't remember exactly what the infection was...possibly sepcis (sp?). But I do know that after seeing her posts on fb and talking to her last summer about her experience, I would never touch a cat I see outdoors. I believe my neighbor's cat did wander outside alot,too, so maybe that had something to do with it.

But, anyways, that mom sounds violent so I would not want to deal with her.
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Snapdragon 04:47 PM 02-17-2012
Originally Posted by saved4always:
The mom does sound like a nut and plain mean.

I do suggest though being very careful with cats. I would not let the dck's touch a cat that wanders into my yard, even if I know who owns it. My neighbor's husband got scratched by thier own cat last year and he almost died from whatever kind of infection he got. I don't remember all the details now but he was in the hospital in a coma for a little bit and he did not come home quite the same. I think he had/has memory issues. I don't remember exactly what the infection was...possibly sepcis (sp?). But I do know that after seeing her posts on fb and talking to her last summer about her experience, I would never touch a cat I see outdoors. I believe my neighbor's cat did wander outside alot,too, so maybe that had something to do with it.

But, anyways, that mom sounds violent so I would not want to deal with her.
Agree with this! I think the mom is abusive to the cat, which is not acceptable; however, not knowing who the cat belongs to or whether it has had shots (particularly rabies) would be of a concern to me and I wouldn't want dc kids exposed. As you say, cats can scratch and in some cases it can cause serious infections. Just not worth the risk. The best and kindest way to discourage the cat from coming on your property is to spray it with water when you see it.
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Cat Herder 04:51 PM 02-17-2012
Originally Posted by Snapdragon:
The best and kindest way to discourage the cat from coming on your property is to spray it with water when you see it.
Please don't do that...it is winter.

Call a local shelter/rescue group, they will come out and pick him/her up.
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countrymom 05:08 PM 02-17-2012
acually, go to the store and buy some ammonia, its about 2 dollars a bottle. Just pour it around your door and trash cans and anywhere else, the cats and any other wild animals will avoid your area because they don't like the smell of ammonia. THEY DON'T LICK IT, IT WILL NOT HURT THEM ITS THE SMELL THEY DON'T LIKE. It works great. we have a problem with raccoons and possums and wild dogs and they don't come near the door or trash because of the smell. The smell to humans is almost invisible, you do have to redoe if its a hard rain but its good to go.
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mac60 05:45 PM 02-17-2012
When she said "dump", I assumed she meant take to the country and let loose. That is exactly what the police told us to do here, but that was before the cat ordinance went into effect.
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Snapdragon 09:11 AM 02-18-2012
Originally Posted by Catherder:
Please don't do that...it is winter.

Call a local shelter/rescue group, they will come out and pick him/her up.
Ooops! You're right; it's been so mild this winter where I am that I forgot about that I think the OP did say she had contacted a shelter, but that she was told that cats do roam around.
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Tags:abuse, animals, child abuse, violent behaviour
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