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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Biting but he isn't angry or upset
Sunchimes 01:03 PM 05-20-2013
I have a new 17 month old. He's been here a month now. The first 2 weeks were great. He's a happy, calm, easy going kid. Then last week, he started biting and it is escalating. He will be sitting or standing next to someone, everyone happy and playing, then out of the blue, he leans over and bites them.

I can't figure out what provokes him. He doesn't seem to be teething, he isn't angry or upset. It's just a very casual thing.

I've been shadowing him all day, but it's hard to watch every second. I have another toddler that age and a 2 1/2 year old. Sometimes they need me and I can't keep my eyes in 2 places. He snuck in one bad one and almost got in another one but I stopped him before he did more than get her hand wet.

I'm thinking that I'll set up a play yard for him and keep him separated for a day or two when I have to do something for the other kids. Mom said he started biting her this weekend and she spanked him every time. Doesn't seem to have helped.

Other than shadowing and isolating when I can't be in reach, any suggestions. As I said, I can't figure out the trigger.
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preschoolteacher 01:07 PM 05-20-2013
Holy crap, the thought of someone spanking a 17-month old for biting makes me really sad...

He could be teething and getting some molars. Do you have something handy to give to him to bite instead of letting him chomp on a person? Tell him "We don't bite people, we bite ____ (teething toy's name)."

He could be getting overwhelmed by the other kids and needs more space, too.
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Sunchimes 01:18 PM 05-20-2013
I probably mis-spoke when I said spank. I think it's more just a little spat on his diapered bottom. I don't mean a serious spanking.

We've been checking-if it's molars, he's being very happy about it. He isn't mouthing things or trying to chew things, other than other people's body parts.

It may be that he's overwhelmed, but he fit in and did so well for the first 2 weeks. I just have 3 kids, so they aren't crowded. I don't know.
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dave4him 01:40 PM 05-20-2013
My son still has this problem from time to time if he is really happy and comes over to grab my leg, he tends to get over excited and bites me. I am the only one he bites
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Evansmom 01:49 PM 05-20-2013
I have seen this happen before in the toddler room I used to work at years ago. It's so bizarre bc it's much easier to understand and predict when a child bites out of anger or frustration. At that age they have little language and cant express anger. But the seemingly calm kid who bites out of the blue is so perplexing.

I remember we just did a lot of redirection and keeping the biter away from the kid who they are biting. It seemed like our biter always had a preferred victim. And wait until they forget or grow out of it. Sorry I don't have a quicker fix.
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Blackcat31 01:55 PM 05-20-2013
I think some kids just need to figure out the world through "tasting" and biting.

I had a little guy a few years back that I swear bit everything he could. Never out of frustration or anger, just whenever....

I took a course about dealing with difficult behaviors while I had him on care (BECAUSE of him) and one of the topics they touched on was biting.

Some kids learn best through touch or sight, etc.... and some kids learn best through tasting or orally.

I'm sorry () I have no advice though as the only thing they could offer us was close supervision (shadowing) and role modeling appropriate ways to treat our peers and toys.
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MarinaVanessa 03:03 PM 05-20-2013
He may also just be doing it because of the reaction. He may still be exploring cause and effect and might just be interested in the end result of when he bites someone and the other persons/peoples reaction.

I like your idea of the play yard only I would use it only when you can't directly supervise him and explain it "Johnny, I'm going to put you in the play yard because I don't want you to bite okay" or if he actually bites or attempts to bite "Johnny, no bite. You bit him and that hurts. It makes him cry. I need to put you in the play yard so you don't bite again" etc. I wouldn't just put him in there all day or something because he won't understand why you are punishing him KWIM? It may just make it worse.
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Cradle2crayons 03:15 PM 05-20-2013
Originally Posted by MarinaVanessa:
He may also just be doing it because of the reaction. He may still be exploring cause and effect and might just be interested in the end result of when he bites someone and the other persons/peoples reaction.

I like your idea of the play yard only I would use it only when you can't directly supervise him and explain it "Johnny, I'm going to put you in the play yard because I don't want you to bite okay" or if he actually bites or attempts to bite "Johnny, no bite. You bit him and that hurts. It makes him cry. I need to put you in the play yard so you don't bite again" etc. I wouldn't just put him in there all day or something because he won't understand why you are punishing him KWIM? It may just make it worse.
That's what I was going to say..maybe he's just figuring out cause and effect... At his age cause and effect is a new thing....

Have you had the victim tell the biter ouch that really hurt and explained that it hurts?? He may not understand that just yet. But if he falls and hurts himself maybe re enforce... Wow that hurt just like biting!!!
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melilley 04:55 PM 05-20-2013
I have a little guy here who is 20 months who also bites out of the blue, and hits, and pulls hair. He does the same thing that yours does, he'll just lean over and bite a friend! He did it at home too and they put him in time out and says it works, but it doesn't He started here at 18 months and is now 20 and is getting a little better and doesn't bite at home anymore according to mom. I do have to say that my little guy is getting his molars so that may be a reason. We didn't see them at first, but sure enough out they popped!
I actually started letting him chew on a teether or made sure he had his pacifier. That seemed to slow the biting, the only time he did bite was when he didn't have it. That may not seem like a solution, but like you said, it's hard to shadow them all day when there are other children in your care!
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Sunchimes 05:55 PM 05-20-2013
MarinaV, I did say I would keep him in the playyard for a day or two "when I have to do something for the other kids". I would never do it all day or even for more than a few minutes. I'm not trying to punish, just protect everyone.

He has never tried to bite me, but Mom says he's biting her. I'm sure my turn is coming.

His preferred victim has no words and doesn't have the ability to hit or push him away.

Mom said tonight that she is afraid he is doing it for fun. She said he laughs when he bites her or his cousin-saying it hurts makes him laugh more.

I'm just going to keep a constant watch and put him in the playyard when I need to change a diaper or something.

Thanks!
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