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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Child That Says Insensitive Things
tenderhearts 04:13 PM 07-27-2018
How do you explain to a 4 yr old about saying insensitive things to other kids? I really haven't dealt with this too much to this extent, I know he isn't saying these things to be mean and he doesn't know he is hurting someones feelings by saying them. Example, he told one of the older girls it looked like she was wearing a diaper, one of my 4 yr olds started to stutter recently and he told him he couldn't understand him because he was and then he demonstrated, things like this?
Michael 05:50 PM 07-27-2018
Interesting topic. We really don't have any threads relating to insensitive children. I hope others have some comments and suggestions.
I am thinking this child is learning insensitivity at home. He may not live in an empathetic environment.
I am thinking this child is learning insensitivity at home. He may not live in an empathetic environment.
hwichlaz 05:55 PM 07-27-2018
I teach them that we never ever-ever comment on someone else's appearance unless it's to compliment them.
For the stuttering I'd model what to stay instead...
"Friend, can you slow down and try again? I can't understand you."
For the stuttering I'd model what to stay instead...
"Friend, can you slow down and try again? I can't understand you."
hwichlaz 05:56 PM 07-27-2018
It may not be environment at all though. It could also be developmental.
does the child have a hard time seeing other social ques?
does the child have a hard time seeing other social ques?
Josiegirl 02:29 AM 07-28-2018
Children are very direct, honest(to a fault) egocentric little beings by nature. And once they start school it gets even worse, with name calling and picking on others. 
My 5 yo dcg just went to the drs. for her check-up and was spewing out potty talk(poor mom!!). Dcm asked if it was normal and dr. said yes.
As far as how to change it, I agree being a positive role model is the best way to go. It feels like it takes forever but they learn eventually.
You can read stories and talk about manners, how what we say can make others feel, being considerate of others' feelings, etc. I highly doubt a 4 yo is going to get how telling another child it looks like she's wearing diapers, would upset her. If it looks to him like she is, he's telling the truth. Kids often say and do things before thinking. That comes with maturity and time, and positive role models. It'd be different if we were discussing a 9 yo. I've had a 9 yo be extremely rude, copying a 3 yo who had a speech problem, mimic me when I bent to pick up toys and he said something about my large derriere.
I am SOOO glad I don't have them anymore!!! I know they need to be taught along the way but a 4 yo will take awhile to 'get it'.
You could use what my parents taught me "Don't say anything unless you have something nice to say".
It worked when I was little. I was an extremely quiet child. Lol
My 5 yo dcg just went to the drs. for her check-up and was spewing out potty talk(poor mom!!). Dcm asked if it was normal and dr. said yes. As far as how to change it, I agree being a positive role model is the best way to go. It feels like it takes forever but they learn eventually.
You can read stories and talk about manners, how what we say can make others feel, being considerate of others' feelings, etc. I highly doubt a 4 yo is going to get how telling another child it looks like she's wearing diapers, would upset her. If it looks to him like she is, he's telling the truth. Kids often say and do things before thinking. That comes with maturity and time, and positive role models. It'd be different if we were discussing a 9 yo. I've had a 9 yo be extremely rude, copying a 3 yo who had a speech problem, mimic me when I bent to pick up toys and he said something about my large derriere.
I am SOOO glad I don't have them anymore!!! I know they need to be taught along the way but a 4 yo will take awhile to 'get it'.You could use what my parents taught me "Don't say anything unless you have something nice to say".
It worked when I was little. I was an extremely quiet child. Lol
rosieteddy 07:02 AM 07-28-2018
I also used the "if you can't say something nice don't say anything".Sorry but I think the 4 yr old knew telling someone they were wearing a diaper was wrong.Part of our job is teaching them how to act.Once they go to school they do learn so much.I had some great books about friends and manners also the care bear stories had good messages on being kind.
Cat Herder 07:16 AM 07-28-2018
Social Emotional and Character Education has been a fantastic resource for me. 
We tend to model what we lived, this is better, IMHO. https://www.teacherspayteachers.com/...iculum-3242683
They sell many levels and have a few different sources.
We tend to model what we lived, this is better, IMHO. https://www.teacherspayteachers.com/...iculum-3242683They sell many levels and have a few different sources.