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tenderhearts 10:31 AM 02-03-2010
I have a dcb who is 4 today. I have had him since he was 7 mo old. He has always from day one gone down for nap with a blanket ( a particular blanket). This last year because this blanket was falling apart they cut and give him like 4 x4 inch swatches and now they are smaller. Well about 3 weeks ago they took the blanket away all together, since this he will NOT fall asleep at nap time and he is always a really good napper he NEEDS his naps and his parents agree, he is a pill without a nap. Well I have been telling dad at pickup every day that he hasn't been falling asleep at nap. Well I told mom when she dropped off a week ago and she said yeah I know he wasnt' falling asleep at night until 1 am or later so they gave the blanket back, well she didn't say anything about nap, so here's my dilema, he's been a real pill and needs to nap, I've tried different ways to try to help him fall asleep with nothing working, so would you give him his blanket back? He's really difficult to deal with without his nap, he's really mean to the others too when he doesn't have a nap, I want to give it back to him but then I think he should not have it too, so what would you do?
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laundryduchess@yahoo.com 10:50 AM 02-03-2010
at 4 he is old enough to know better. But to ease his transition,..give it every other day,... if he is good on monday, he can have it tuesday, good wed, gets it thursday, good friday gets it monday,.. if he is bad he loses it until he is good a whole day,.. then ween him to one day having it, two not,...

or (what I would do) tell him he isnt allowed to have it at your house and that if he continues to make a pill of himself he can sit by himself until he can act better. At four its a battle of will thing and not an infant or toddler need. He wants it, simple,... and hes gonna make sure he gets it. He will take a nap,.. period,... sit by him and a gentle touch until he falls asleep.

Originally Posted by tenderhearts:
I have a dcb who is 4 today. I have had him since he was 7 mo old. He has always from day one gone down for nap with a blanket ( a particular blanket). This last year because this blanket was falling apart they cut and give him like 4 x4 inch swatches and now they are smaller. Well about 3 weeks ago they took the blanket away all together, since this he will NOT fall asleep at nap time and he is always a really good napper he NEEDS his naps and his parents agree, he is a pill without a nap. Well I have been telling dad at pickup every day that he hasn't been falling asleep at nap. Well I told mom when she dropped off a week ago and she said yeah I know he wasnt' falling asleep at night until 1 am or later so they gave the blanket back, well she didn't say anything about nap, so here's my dilema, he's been a real pill and needs to nap, I've tried different ways to try to help him fall asleep with nothing working, so would you give him his blanket back? He's really difficult to deal with without his nap, he's really mean to the others too when he doesn't have a nap, I want to give it back to him but then I think he should not have it too, so what would you do?

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tenderhearts 11:02 AM 02-03-2010
thanks, I think the transition would have been much easier if his parents would have stuck with it, but of course easier to give it back to him. If he wasn't napping but he was being good, that would be no problem but oh my word the last week has been terrible and it was only afternoons so it wasn't so bad until friday ALL day long he's just difficult. thanks for the ideas. I tried having him pick a stuffed animal that he would want to lay with or another blanket but he ends up screwing around with them, then I tried telling him that if he's constantly moving and playing and not shutting his eye's he'll never fall asleep, so I told him to close his eyes and try thinking about something really fun but of course did work. He is old enough to learn to fall asleep without his thumb and blanket, he doesn't suck his thumb unless he has the blanket.
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mamajennleigh 11:44 AM 02-03-2010
I agree with laundryduchess, you are going to have to win the battle of wills at this point. He will get tired enough to take a nap eventually, I would think, especially if you lay down the law and enforce it. He is old enough to go to sleep without the blanket, although I do feel bad for him, because it's likely to be hard for him since he's had it so long now. I like all of her suggestions for dealing with this - it all boils down to rusty saw/sharp knife approaches and which one you're better able to deal with.

Just think, though, if you stick to your guns, you might help him get rid of two bad habits at once (thumb sucking and holding blankie to sleep) Good luck!
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originalkat 11:48 AM 02-03-2010
I agree that at 4 he should know better. But, really I dont see it as a big deal. I wouldn't allow him to carry it all day or anything...but at nap if it helps him relax I would just let him. When he goes to KG and doesnt have naps anymore then he obviously wont have it. But why mess with the routine now?
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tenderhearts 11:50 AM 02-03-2010
I just think the battle would be won if the parents did it too and stuck with it. It's been so hard to deal with him and it's all because he wont fall asleep, he would fall asleep if he'd stop playing around and lay still but he wont lay still as soon as he starts drifting he starts moving all around. Well I'm going to try these suggestions and see what happens and hope he does fall asleep. should I make him lay there the full quiet/nap time if he doesn't fall asleep? That's what I've been doing making him lay there until the other boy wakes up which is about 2 hours, seems like a long time but we have no regulations about that in my state.
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originalkat 11:51 AM 02-03-2010
OOps, I missed the thumb sucking part...ya that one is a problem. If he always sucks his thumb but only with the blanket then maybe it is time to take it away.
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tenderhearts 12:01 PM 02-03-2010
He only has it at nap and bedtime, I have never let him walk around with it. I agree that since he sucks his thumb only when he has the blanket he shouldn't have it BUT here nap is only a couple hours, if he has his blanket at bedtime he has it 10+ hours, I'm not the one paying his orthodontics bill lol. I know he needs it to relax and I agree he needs to learn to relax without it but I believe his teeth are already are "deformed" from sucking his thumb. It's true when he starts kindergarten he wont suck or need his blanket, I'm so tempted to just give it to him only because his parents are. If they weren't I wouldn't. thanks again
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Persephone 12:05 PM 02-03-2010
I don't see in the original post that he sucks his thumb, but in my book that back stop.

But I agree with who ever said why mess with him at 4?

I mean as long as it's just for nap and bedtime why do they care that they have this little 4x4 sheet? Now if he was dragging it to the store and everywhere they went find put a stop to that but at bedtimes?

My son as a lovey and is the same way that he's a pill if he doesn't nap. And at bed time I tell him that I will take it away if he doesn't lay down and that helps to get him to stay in bed. He loves that thing.
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Unregistered 12:06 PM 02-03-2010
I remeber when I was a kid I had a a blanket it was my foavorite. I sucked my thum when I had it. Well when I was 8 my dog ate it I mean Little pices. I was so mad but I did get over it. I never sucked my thum granted I only did that at night. Not during a nap or anything like that. maybe he could bring a favoite stuffy to sleep with I tell parents to let kids keep favoite blanket at home and switch blankets out every the week. i would not like to have to deal with a favorite thing gettin messed up or wearing out. If you start that when they are younge they wont have to go throught the sepration problem with the item. If something happens.They will not associate nap at your house with their favorite thing.
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tenderhearts 12:14 PM 02-03-2010
I don't think I put it in my first post, but he only sucks his thumb when he has this little swatch of a blanket. I feel like the bad guy now taking it suddenly away when he's been used to it all this time, now that the mom and dad give it to him at night especially. I have had other kids bring a lovey (stuffed animal) that they need to go down to nap with, they don't walk around with it or anything, but I think mom and dad were told by the dentist he needs to stop sucking his thumb but again nap it's only a couple hours or less, bedtime it's several and they must not be too worried about it and plus when he has no more swatches he wont have it anymore, the blanket wasn't that big to begin with. thanks again for the tips
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Persephone 12:24 PM 02-03-2010
Originally Posted by tenderhearts:
I don't think I put it in my first post, but he only sucks his thumb when he has this little swatch of a blanket. I feel like the bad guy now taking it suddenly away when he's been used to it all this time, now that the mom and dad give it to him at night especially. I have had other kids bring a lovey (stuffed animal) that they need to go down to nap with, they don't walk around with it or anything, but I think mom and dad were told by the dentist he needs to stop sucking his thumb but again nap it's only a couple hours or less, bedtime it's several and they must not be too worried about it and plus when he has no more swatches he wont have it anymore, the blanket wasn't that big to begin with. thanks again for the tips
Okay, I understand then! I can see why the parents are stopping then. That's why I didn't want my son to suck his thumb.
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tenderhearts 12:55 PM 02-03-2010
Well that's just it, the parents have given in and have not stopped it, they gave the blanket back so that's why I'm wondering if I should since it's pure heck lately with him without him napping.
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mamajennleigh 01:05 PM 02-03-2010
Originally Posted by tenderhearts:
Well that's just it, the parents have given in and have not stopped it, they gave the blanket back so that's why I'm wondering if I should since it's pure heck lately with him without him napping.
I think this is at least a little bit confusing for the little guy. I thought about it for a while after I posted my last comment, and I have to agree that I can't see it being such a big deal.

He won't have it when he stops naps at KG, so why fuss with it now? He needs it to relax, and I don't know if that really warrants any action at all. We all need certain things to relax - I can't sleep without my own pillow (I mean, I can, but not as well as with my own stuff, KWIM?) and I don't really see this as being a big deal. If it were my son, I would give him the blanket, especially if NOT giving it to him was causing him to not be able to rest when he clearly needs to. The blanket isn't hurting anything, and even if the thumb sucking is (I'm not convinced that it has caused permanant damage at his age - I have had a few sons who sucked thumbs until kg or later with no real issues when permanant teeth came in), it's his parents hill to die on, not yours.

I think we should give the little guy a break and let him have his blanket back lol! Maybe work on the thumb sucking without taking the blanket? One thing at a time, I think.
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tenderhearts 01:13 PM 02-03-2010
thanks, my thoughts exactly and if the parents are too worried about it and gave it back to him at night for that very reason he was difficult then why should I suffer, right? haha. I know the dentist told them he needs to stop so no permanente damage happens, but she seems to think he'll need braces some day anyways since her and her husband both did. My sister sucked her thumb until she was like 8 years old and never needed braces, however I never sucked my thumb but I did, so not always the case I guess. thanks for the help
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tenderhearts 01:24 PM 02-03-2010
Well I broke and gave him the blanket (well 2x2inch swatch), he was asleep in 2 minutes. Hopefully the afternoon will be better ugh. what a day, 2 of them have been very difficult today.
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GretasLittleFriends 01:33 PM 02-03-2010
I can understand the concern with the thumb sucking as it has been a cause to pull the top teeth out of line.

As far as the blanket itself is concerned, I don't see what the big deal is. My sister had a blanket that was given to her at birth, and she slept with it every night until a week before her 17th birthday (when she passed away unexpectedly). She was soooo attached to that blanket it rests next to her eternally. She went on plenty of trips away from home throughout her life and did fine without her blanket.

She occasionally sucked her thumb too. I remember when she was a teen seeing her sleeping and subconsciously sucking her thumb. Her teeth were fine and never required braces.
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mac60 01:40 PM 02-03-2010
I say give the piece of blanket back. My own son had a blanket and bunny that went everywhere with him. When he started school, we stopped taking it out of the house and it stayed in his room. It never did any harm. I don't understand why some think having a favorite blankie is so bad, heck even I have a blanket me and the dogs cuddle with each night to chill out.
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tenderhearts 02:24 PM 02-03-2010
Thank you, I feel so much better about giving it back to him, I'm just praying the afternoon with him will be much better. My son from birth use to suck 2 fingers on his hand, then when he was about a year old he did that and rubbed the blanket on his bed, I was lucky when he was just over 3 years old he decided on his own to stop sucking his fingers and rub the blanket (he called it his bob), we caught him every now and again rubbing it but he never sucked his fingers again, he is almost 13 now and he has braces and NOT from sucking his fingers. well I feel better and am glad he's getting some sleep.
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momma2girls 02:44 PM 02-03-2010
I feel that the parents should give the blanket back, especially since you are having so much trouble with him!! My little girl sucked her fingers and had her special blanket, she slept with(didn't carry it around at all) til she was 3 in preschool, then we broke her of both. We still seen her sucking her fingers til about 5 when she was sleeping asleep only, and not even know she was doing it.
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AfterSchoolMom 03:10 PM 02-03-2010
My son still sleeps with is blanket, and he's almost 9. He doesn't take it to sleepovers, and he doesn't drag it around with him - it mostly stays under his pillow. I see nothing wrong with it at all. However, the thumb sucking could potentially be a problem - my younger son was a thumbsucker, and around age 3 we ended up coating his entire thumb with that yucky stuff that you use to stop biting your nails - he stopped sucking his thumb in a matter of weeks. However, he still has a slight overbite because of it.
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tenderhearts 03:12 PM 02-03-2010
At my house he has never been able to walk around with it, he just always seemed to know it was only for naps and that was when it was still a "normal" full blanket. That was my problem was the parents did give the blanket back to him like 2 1/2 weeks ago and never told me until just a week ago, that's why I think it would have been easier for him to break it if they didn't do it. But he's happily asleep!!
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originalkat 06:14 PM 02-03-2010
I am so glad he fell asleep! I would have given him the blanket just like you did. Poor little guy just wanted his blankie so he could fall asleep in peace. LOL!
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tenderhearts 07:15 AM 02-04-2010
After his nap yesterday, he was much better in the afternoon, it was really nice.
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mamajennleigh 08:27 AM 02-04-2010
Don't you love a happy ending? I just love when a problem has an easy solution. It doesn't happen too often, though LOL!
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