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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Oh My Gosh I Am SO Irritated!!!!!!!!
Breezy 09:36 AM 03-02-2012
I am trying to type this as fast as I can so forgive any errors.

I have posted the past few days about sick DCG. She has been sick all week. Mom came to get her early on Tuesday. Brought her Wednesday where she slept 5 hours and was obviously still sick (coughing, thick snot, falling asleep on the floor). Then Wednesday I said she needed to stay home the next day. She stayed home yesterday and I talked to mom last night and asked how she was and she said "She was fine all morning, see you tomorrow". So she got here this morning at 5:30 half asleep, put her down and she slept for 5 hours again and pooped (posted a thread about it earlier about whether or not to wake her- got no replies). I went in to check on her a little bit ago and to actually wake her so she could eat and what not and she had pooped again in her already poopy diaper and it was diarrhea all down her pants, in her socks, all over the PNP sheets, all over me when I changed her. She is OBVIOUSLY still sick and I had to put DS in his crib to take care of it and then clean up everything and then I had to pop her in a clean PnP so I could jump in the shower myself because I was covered in it.

Haven't contacted mom yet because my contract says that 2 diarrhea diapers would be excluable but seriously??? She is NOT fine if she is pooping like this, her nasal discharge is THIS gross and thick and her cough is so nasty and she is sleeping 5 hours at one pop! But I am really scared to call and say you need to come get her NOW since I did once already this week and then said she couldn't come yesterday. They are her parents they "know her better" and say she is fine but is this really fine??
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Beach Baby 09:42 AM 03-02-2012
I'd call. Tell her she had two explosive poops and all the other symptoms. I'd ask for a doctor's note before letting her back in at this point.
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Breezy 10:23 AM 03-02-2012
I said they needed to come get her in the next 30 minutes. No response yet and its been 20 minutes.
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Beach Baby 10:29 AM 03-02-2012
Ugh. Do you have an emergency contact list? I'd be calling the next in line and the one after that until you get a response from someone. Hope someone comes for her soon...poor baby needs to go home and rest.
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JenNJ 10:30 AM 03-02-2012
she needs to go to the doctor!!
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Breezy 10:38 AM 03-02-2012
Yes I have an emergency list. I've just never used one before. I'm going to call dad at work right now. She is just crying and laying on the floor and doesn't want to do anything.
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bice99 10:40 AM 03-02-2012
My parents have 30 minutes to show up. Then it's $1 per minute late fee. My friend had to pay $60 in November b/c it took her 90 minutes to show up. She works 6 minutes away but is a teacher and somehow no one would cover her class.
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Breezy 11:05 AM 03-02-2012
Ok so dad came and picked her up (he works two blocks away). And the first thing he does is tell me not to text DCM with stuff like this since he works so close. I say, "I texted you both and was about to call you when you pulled up"

Then he proceeds to tell me not to say "those little things" at the end of the text message like "I know how much having a sick child inconveniences a working parent and I am sorry that I can not accommodate her" He says it makes his wife feel like she doesn't want to be with her child when she is sick. I told him that is no way how I meant it and that I was genuinely feeling badly about having to have them come get her again and wishing that I could care for her while sick. But rules are rules and I don't do diarrhea.

He also wanted to know why I sent her home on Tuesday and then wouldn't let her come on Thursday if there were no symptoms like diarrhea present then. I told him because of her other symptoms and the fact that she could not participate in daycare activities because she was laying on the floor crying and whining and falling asleep.

He then asked why I don't care for sick kids. I said because if I have sick kids running around here then I get sick, my son gets sick, my husband gets sick, and other kids get sick. He said well what happens if your DS gets sick? Will you close? I said if it is bad enough and his dad can't stay home with him, then yes.

The whole thing made me feel so inadequate as a provider and made me question everything. It is like he talks down to me- I feel like I am 13 and talking to my dad almost!

Sigh, I called my mom and vented this whole thing to her but I wanted to vent to you all too because I feel so rattled by it all....

Oh well, I will just enjoy my early weekend and CLEAN more so that no one else gets sick and HOPE that she is better on Monday.
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SunshineMama 11:08 AM 03-02-2012
Are you prepared to send her home monday if she comes sick again?

Maybe say that due to the constant illness this week, you have to have a doctor's note. (Could it be norovirus- that is going around).
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Daycare Diva 11:30 AM 03-02-2012
Don't let him make you feel inadequate. I would not have answered all those questions. I would have referred him to the contract. I would also get a dr note for her to come back she has been sick too long. As for his wife's feelings that is her issue not yours. Btw you can say/text/write whatever you want. Who is he to tell you what you can say.
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saved4always 11:55 AM 03-02-2012
You did the right thing. Don't let the dcd make you doubt yourself. I would have called, too, if I had diarrhea all over everything including myself. I also feel bad if I have to call for kids to be picked up. But I just refer to my sickness policy and remember that I have to protect the other kids and me from sickness. If YOU get sick, then no one gets childcare. And, if they interpret your ending as chastising them, well, maybe it is thier guilty concience making them read it that way. I am thinking maybe they knew she was still sick and hoped she would make it through the day. Try to forget about this family and enjoy your weekend!
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countrymom 12:00 PM 03-02-2012
yup, tell them you need a dr's note to attend. Don't let their problem be your problem. And yes mom is inadequate in her care because if she was a mom she would have noticed how ill her child is and would have taken care of her. Read my post in a few min. about what happened to me.
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daycare 12:03 PM 03-02-2012
DOnt let DCD get to you...Don't let their regrets or guilt blame you. YOu are doing the best thing for her and everyone else.

Why can't you care for sick children? YOu are not a nurse or a doctor and sick children need more one on one care that you can't give them in group care. Would DCD want you to have little johnny there sick and you have to put his daughters needs aside so you could care for little johnny?? Yeah NO.

Hugs to you..****de DCD, thats not nice
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Breezy 12:08 PM 03-02-2012
Thanks everyone!!!!
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SilverSabre25 12:11 PM 03-02-2012
What nerve! "Why don't you take care of sick children"? WEll, because sick babies need their mamas, you nincompoop! What a strange concept!
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JenNJ 12:12 PM 03-02-2012
It's nothing to feel bad about! It is not your fault dcg is ill. Ill kids need to be home. I know that is where I want to be when I am sick!

Exclusion for illness is in the best interest of everyone. It prevents further spread and ensures that the sick child's symptoms are being managed by ONE person. That lowers the chances of medication mistakes, missing key symptoms that may require medical attention, and exposing the child to further germs.
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CheekyChick 12:20 PM 03-02-2012
I would send them an e-mail this weekend that states:

Dear Joe Schmo:

You seemed perplexed by my excluding your daughter from daycare on several occasions this past week. I will send home a copy of my illness policy on Monday in the event that you lost the one you were given at registration.

To reiterate, I excluded your daughter because she was sick. She was listless, upset, uncomfortable, had a thick mucus discharge, a horrible cough, and she slept for hours at a time. Later in the week she had diarrhea. Your daughter had a very hard week and was unable to participate in our daily routine and needed the one-on-one care that only a mommy and daddy can provide.

Additionally, I follow state guidelines in regard to health and saftey. I do so to protect myself, my family, and every child in my care. I do this to protect your daughter when she is well.

I hope ****** rests and recuperates this weekend and comes back on Monday healthy and happy. I sure miss her smiling little face.

Kindly,
******
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Ariana 12:36 PM 03-02-2012
I'm so sorry you're going through this. Dealing with disrespect from parents is the worst part of our job

This in particular makes me so mad "Then he proceeds to tell me not to say "those little things" at the end of the text message like "I know how much having a sick child inconveniences a working parent and I am sorry that I can not accommodate her" He says it makes his wife feel like she doesn't want to be with her child when she is sick. "

This is laying the guilt trip on you!! His wife doesn't want to be with her sick child and she feels guilty about it so she gets mad at you for trying to be sympathetic towards her? Unbelievable!! I would have tld him that I will text whatever I want to text and it's not your fault they interpret it that way. How rude.
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nannyde 01:02 PM 03-02-2012
Originally Posted by Breezy:
He then asked why I don't care for sick kids. I said because if I have sick kids running around here then I get sick, my son gets sick, my husband gets sick, and other kids get sick. He said well what happens if your DS gets sick? Will you close? I said if it is bad enough and his dad can't stay home with him, then yes.
Tell him that all the parents are comfortable with you caring for THEIR sick kid but they don't want you taking care of the other parents sick kids. If they all would like to meet and agree that it's okay if everyones kids come sick then you will hire an appropriate medical person, purchase the insurance, and provide sick child care. It's going to mean getting everyone on board with their kid being with kids who are sick when they are well and it's going to cost a bunch of money for the medical care... but if that's what he's after... then let's raise rates and get some nurses hired.
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daycare 01:11 PM 03-02-2012
Originally Posted by CheekyChick:
I would send them an e-mail this weekend that states:

Dear Joe Schmo:

You seemed perplexed by my excluding your daughter from daycare on several occasions this past week. I will send home a copy of my illness policy on Monday in the event that you lost the one you were given at registration.

To reiterate, I excluded your daughter because she was sick. She was listless, upset, uncomfortable, had a thick mucus discharge, a horrible cough, and she slept for hours at a time. Later in the week she had diarrhea. Your daughter had a very hard week and was unable to participate in our daily routine and needed the one-on-one care that only a mommy and daddy can provide.

Additionally, I follow state guidelines in regard to health and saftey. I do so to protect myself, my family, and every child in my care. I do this to protect your daughter when she is well.

I hope ****** rests and recuperates this weekend and comes back on Monday healthy and happy. I sure miss her smiling little face.

Kindly,
******
love this letter
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CheekyChick 01:17 PM 03-02-2012
Originally Posted by daycare:
love this letter
Thank you.
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MyAngels 01:22 PM 03-02-2012
Originally Posted by CheekyChick:
I would send them an e-mail this weekend that states:

Dear Joe Schmo:

You seemed perplexed by my excluding your daughter from daycare on several occasions this past week. I will send home a copy of my illness policy on Monday in the event that you lost the one you were given at registration.

To reiterate, I excluded your daughter because she was sick. She was listless, upset, uncomfortable, had a thick mucus discharge, a horrible cough, and she slept for hours at a time. Later in the week she had diarrhea. Your daughter had a very hard week and was unable to participate in our daily routine and needed the one-on-one care that only a mommy and daddy can provide.

Additionally, I follow state guidelines in regard to health and saftey. I do so to protect myself, my family, and every child in my care. I do this to protect your daughter when she is well.

I hope ****** rests and recuperates this weekend and comes back on Monday healthy and happy. I sure miss her smiling little face.

Kindly,
******

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Ariana 01:38 PM 03-02-2012
Although I like the letter, the parents already know everything written in it. Sending them this letter is only going to throw more fuel to the fire IMO.
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CheekyChick 01:39 PM 03-02-2012
Originally Posted by MyAngels:
Thank you.
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daycare 01:59 PM 03-02-2012
Originally Posted by Ariana:
Although I like the letter, the parents already know everything written in it. Sending them this letter is only going to throw more fuel to the fire IMO.
I wasn't saying send it.... I just like it... I do agree, let sleeping dogs lie.....
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MyAngels 03:06 PM 03-02-2012
Originally Posted by Ariana:
Although I like the letter, the parents already know everything written in it. Sending them this letter is only going to throw more fuel to the fire IMO.
I didn't feel that the letter was especially confrontational, but rather something that might put the parents a little more at ease with the decisions that Breezy made throughout the week in regards to their sick child.

One thing that is mentioned frequently here and among the providers that I know is how important clear communication is.

The only thing that I, personally, would do differently would be to talk face-to-face with the parents about it, rather than sending an e-mail or letter, but that's just the way I do things.
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Breezy 08:34 PM 03-02-2012
DS is running a temp of 102.1 now
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Kaddidle Care 06:54 AM 03-03-2012
Originally Posted by SilverSabre25:
What nerve! "Why don't you take care of sick children"? WEll, because sick babies need their mamas, you nincompoop! What a strange concept!


You did nothing wrong except keep the child longer than you should have to accomodate her parents.

The more you give, the more they take (and EXPECT).

Do NOT let them give you guilt trips - THEY are the ones that should feel guilty that they feel the almighty buck is more important than the health and welfare of their child.

Most work places are sympathetic to the parent that has to stay home with their sick child. But when they use up all of their vacation, sick and personal time for going to the spa or Disney trips, they are not so sympathetic.

We once had a lovely mother drop her child off dripping in vomit. She shoved some clean clothes into our worker's hands and claimed that she had a very important meeting to attend. She would be back in 2 hours.

Our young worker did not realize she had the right to refuse the child right then and there and unfortunately many were exposed because of it. We had children sick and workers sick. (I was one of the unfortunate ones.)

This mother's one act of selfishness COST several others to miss days of work because of illness.

And now your child is sick - UGH! I know you probably need the money but I'd tell those parents you are closed until your child is 24 hours fever free.
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Breezy 03:00 PM 03-04-2012
Originally Posted by Kaddidle Care:


You did nothing wrong except keep the child longer than you should have to accomodate her parents.

The more you give, the more they take (and EXPECT).

Do NOT let them give you guilt trips - THEY are the ones that should feel guilty that they feel the almighty buck is more important than the health and welfare of their child.

Most work places are sympathetic to the parent that has to stay home with their sick child. But when they use up all of their vacation, sick and personal time for going to the spa or Disney trips, they are not so sympathetic.

We once had a lovely mother drop her child off dripping in vomit. She shoved some clean clothes into our worker's hands and claimed that she had a very important meeting to attend. She would be back in 2 hours.

Our young worker did not realize she had the right to refuse the child right then and there and unfortunately many were exposed because of it. We had children sick and workers sick. (I was one of the unfortunate ones.)

This mother's one act of selfishness COST several others to miss days of work because of illness.

And now your child is sick - UGH! I know you probably need the money but I'd tell those parents you are closed until your child is 24 hours fever free.
You are so right and Dcd used a personal day to go hunting on Tuesday!!!!
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Tags:emergency contact, irritated, sick children pickup, sick policy
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