Staying Home Costs More Than Daycare!

[Blackcat31]

Well, this is a new approach to the high costs of child care I guess...

It's truly interesting what you read on the internet these days.... Daycare costs too much. Staying home costs too much, working costs too much, clothes, toys, diapers etc cost too much.

Wonder when they are just going to come right out and say what we've all been saying all along.....

KIDS ARE EXPENSIVE!

No matter what choices you make.

http://fortune.com/2016/06/22/stay-at-home-parent-cost/

[Mandy]

That article surprises me . I'm not sure why, but I think it's an era change yet again. Today's era seems to be more into complaining than anything else (Not directed at you I am referencing the fortune article) . Reminds me of what my father said to me a few months ago. He said "The second you have a kid, you are responsible for their life. It is a commitment." Also, the Internet articles are really good at overemphasizing things. If the mom looked at how much she was spending on food, gas, and other things, and then tweaked her budget, I'm sure she would be fine .

[Mom2Two]

I think that this ($500 K cost of taking a five year break) depends on what kind of career path you were on in the first place. And, what is the cost to your children and family to not be as involved with them? So many children need extra help and attention along the way.

I'm sorry, but I dislike the focus on money that our society has. There are huge benefits to parents who have quantity time for their children, not just "quality time." And who are we kidding? It's hard to ever have time for your children when both parents work full-time outside the home, unless you have the money to hire out tons of life's little chores.

Rant over.

[laundrymom]

I think simplification is the key. It seems many families today are doing Disney or great wolf lodge at least once a year. And then complaining that the bills are outrageous.
Or that their cell phone bills are high. Or data fees are crippling them.
But their three year old has a better phone than I do.
And I'm sorry, but we've had three giant vacations in 20 years. All planned and anticipated.
We didn't need to be entertained every second or demand time in an expensive resort. We had fun. We made memories. But we lived a simpler life.

[Mom2Two]

Originally Posted by laundrymom

I think simplification is the key. It seems many families today are doing Disney or great wolf lodge at least once a year. And then complaining that the bills are outrageous.
Or that their cell phone bills are high. Or data fees are crippling them.
But their three year old has a better phone than I do.
And I'm sorry, but we've had three giant vacations in 20 years. All planned and anticipated.
We didn't need to be entertained every second or demand time in an expensive resort. We had fun. We made memories. But we lived a simpler life.

ITA We use Net10 Prepaid for our cell phones ($15-20 per month) and we use magicjack for our landline (all but free). We do half or more of our vacations tent camping (I know that's not for everyone) and we are planning to put up a clothesline. We grow vegies, I cut everyone's hair, cook rolled oats, buy clearance food way cheap etc etc. My kids are learning these skills, and it helps keep us independent. People don't know these skills anymore.

I know that it's not the whole answer, but it is part of the puzzle.

I'm really glad that so many well-paying jobs allow for flexible hours for moms and dads. That's also part of the puzzle. A lot of jobs just don't work well for parents who want to be involved with their kids. And I did one of those full-time, inflexible jobs for a while back when I was getting divorced from my first husband. And it really was hard.

[Thriftylady]

Originally Posted by Mom2Two

ITA We use Net10 Prepaid for our cell phones ($15-20 per month) and we use magicjack for our landline (all but free). We do half or more of our vacations tent camping (I know that's not for everyone) and we are planning to put up a clothesline. We grow vegies, I cut everyone's hair, cook rolled oats, buy clearance food way cheap etc etc. My kids are learning these skills, and it helps keep us independent. People don't know these skills anymore.

I know that it's not the whole answer, but it is part of the puzzle.

I'm really glad that so many well-paying jobs allow for flexible hours for moms and dads. That's also part of the puzzle. A lot of jobs just don't work well for parents who want to be involved with their kids. And I did one of those full-time, inflexible jobs for a while back when I was getting divorced from my first husband. And it really was hard.

We do many of these same things. It is amazing how you can save money when you really need to.

But what I noticed about the article is that really all it does is factor in the income one may loose. I mean duh, if you stay at home you will loose income. But in some cases, those same people are just spending more because they make more. In that regard, the extra income or loss of is a moot point I think. This article over simplifies the whole discussion.

DH and I have made sacrifices since we married in 2000 to have me at home. Much of that time I have worked from home, but may have had a lower paying job than I otherwise would, but not always perhaps. There are other costs involved with working though. If I worked outside the home, I would be buying more gas, using my vehicle much more, buying more "lunch foods", spending more on groceries for hubby to take on the road in the semi, because he wouldn't be taking home cooked foods. I wouldn't have a garden at all (even though the one I have now is small). I would for sure spend more on clothing. So those things have to be factored in as well to get true numbers.

[JackandJill]

I agree with what someone else said. Everyone is so focused on money these days. And I get it, life, kids, everything is expensive.

Whatever happened to just simplifying and living a life within your means. Parents are running around, working crazy hours so the can HAVE, but its the kids who lose out. They are the ones who get shuffled out of bed, rushed out the door, scooped up hours later in the mad race to get home, only to be fed, showered and shoved back into bed, so parents can HAVE some quiet time.

No thanks! I would rather put date nights and vacation on hold for the next couple of years than make my kids go through that! Childhood goes way too fast, no way I would give this time up for any amount of money!

All I took away from this article is that childhood can be broken down into a mathematical equation that ends in a dollar sign.

[MunchkinWrangler]

Yeah, I think parents forget that it does actually cost money to raise a child. Put daycare costs aside and you still have food(even a garden is an expense but you definitely get more bang for your buck), clothing(even if you make it yourself, you still have to buy material), diapers (from what I hear cloth diaper companies are just as spends as disposables and laundering them also costs water laundry soap, etc). I could go on and on. I agree with everyone above, it is what you decide to do with your money that counts. I don't think I ever heard my grandmother complain about the cost of her 7 children. They worked, she worked a night job and raised the kids during the day. They gardened and also owned a rental property from the first house they owned. They weren't rich but they weren't poor either. They made a living, which this new generation keeps complaining about.

I think nowadays there are more things for leisure that cost money and that's become more important. I also think there was a whole generation that went out to college, didn't pick a major that they were interested in or one that was so general that most people aren't happy with what they do.

[Cat Herder]

Originally Posted by JackandJill

living a life within your means.

Child care, or otherwise known as daycare, is the care and supervision of a child or multiple children at a time, whose age ranges from six weeks to thirteen.

[Mike]

It's today's lifestyles that are expensive.

[Rockgirl]

Originally Posted by rogerfedrer

Child care, or otherwise known as daycare, is the care and supervision of a child or multiple children at a time, whose age ranges from six weeks to thirteen.

We’re familiar with the concept!

I think there's something much of the new generation doesn't understand. This is for childless young people, too. Just because you see Beyonce or whoever with a purse, shoes, phone, ect doesn't mean you need it. Frankly, can not afford it. I'm not into rap, but there's a rap lyric that goes something like "You bought it, it was sent to me". Meaning these celebs not only have expensive stuff, they're getting it sent for free to be sort of like a bill board. In the 90s or earlier, people never thought the everyday person could have the things rich people have. I'm not saying you can't have something special, but since when does everything have to cost a ton.

[Josiegirl]

Yes, things are outrageously expensive. BUT maybe we don't need to live with as much as we choose to these days either. Mike's right, our choice of lifestyle is what gets costly. There are ways to cut childcare costs. Stay home until your child gets to school age; what's a few years in the course of a child's lifetime. Different shifts within the household to cover care for your child instead of using child care.

[mommyneedsadayoff]

I know it's an old thread, but I'm surprised it didn't mention health insurance as a huge factor for many people working, versus staying home (and working) with their kids. My sisters job pays almost 100% of her family of five's health care. Without, they would pay about $25000 a year between premium and deductibles. And I agree with other posters...the money factor should also be weighed with how important it is to be present for your child. It was very important for me from the time I started to consider having kids. It was basically a non negotiable. Which is why I transitioned from nannying to daycare. I'm getting back into the outside work force and the biggest adjustment has been not being with my kids as much as i would like. It's so hard.

It is possible to live on one income....different shifts..one parent home. I've lived it and made the sacrifice for the betterment if my kids. Now that one of my kids is 26...he sees it...he knows and understands what a I did for him
He has more memories of us making the best of it with what we had...and he is better for it. These past 20 yrs of.parents are all about me and what they're family has or does..suffering from massive debt and exhausted from working...making no time for family. Sad.

[Cat Herder]

As a mother of two adult son's, I can see the other side, though. Being a SAHM means Dad has the full responsibility for supporting the family. He does not get the same bonding time or the same opportunity to be a fully involved father to his children yet bears all the stress, pressure and blame when things don't go well.

If they end up in divorce, this sacrifice is then held against him. He is forced to continue in that pattern until his children are grown, seeing his kids a handful of days a month, some days he will have to give up because he must work, and often after. It is a pretty unequal deal for men and a huge risk fewer are willing to take.

Many men are looking for an equal life partner, one who takes responsibility for their own life choices, can support themselves and loves him enough to meet him halfway in parenting. Many men want to be active parents, too.

I was a work at home mom. It solved my problem of needing to bring in a full income and be home with our kids. That is why I went into home daycare. I bring home more than I did in my former career when you take out all the meals out, work clothes and fuel/auto expenses.

[Josiegirl]

But CH, while I agree with you in the traditional sense, many women are the main bread winners now and the man can choose to be at home. There are lots of ways to get out from under the need for daycare. Many of us here have done it. But then if everyone does it, we're out of work. It's all about choices and working together as a family unit towards what's most important in their lives, and setting up priorities. It's when mani/pedi costs, newest cellphones, fancy brand new cars every 2 years, etc., etc., become more important and they still gripe about dc costs...that's when I get a bit aggravated.
I think a lot of couples do so much better with both of them working, not just financially but physically and mentally as well. Plus DC can be a great thing for tons of kiddos!! But it's like everything else, prices rise to keep up with the cost of living. If rates didn't get raised I couldn't afford to work. Thinking back to when my 1st dcf paid me to watch her 2 boys for 40 bucks a week. But back then 40 bucks bought a lot of groceries too!

[BrynleeJean]

Originally Posted by Thriftylady

We do many of these same things. It is amazing how you can save money when you really need to.

But what I noticed about the article is that really all it does is factor in the income one may loose. I mean duh, if you stay at home you will loose income. But in some cases, those same people are just spending more because they make more. In that regard, the extra income or loss of is a moot point I think. This article over simplifies the whole discussion.

DH and I have made sacrifices since we married in 2000 to have me at home. Much of that time I have worked from home, but may have had a lower paying job than I otherwise would, but not always perhaps. There are other costs involved with working though. If I worked outside the home, I would be buying more gas, using my vehicle much more, buying more "lunch foods", spending more on groceries for hubby to take on the road in the semi, because he wouldn't be taking home cooked foods. I wouldn't have a garden at all (even though the one I have now is small). I would for sure spend more on clothing. So those things have to be factored in as well to get true numbers.

I agree that the two income verses one is really a lifestyle choice, not really a lose or gain for anyone. I've lived in both categories. one DCM I have told me she wished she could stay home with her kids still like she did for a short while with her first but now their family is accustomed to the lifestyle and that is really the truth. new cars and payments, mortgages, going out to eat, or events that cost, big expensive family trips, that morning coffee on the way to work or whatever. not to mention gas for commuting to the gas and car upkeep for that.


It is funny to see that the media that says that daycare prices are outrageous also weighs towards parents both working.

[kidsncats]

Nice article and post. Thank you!

Life is hard. Life is expensive.

[NewParent2018]

I feel like I'm alone in this (at least when I talk to my friends with children) but I feel like Daycare is cheaper than it should be.

I don't mean that to sound insensitive or anything, I know the cost of childcare is a real burden for people right now but when you stop and think about what you are getting it blows my mind with how cheap it is.

I went to a really nice daycare (the nicest I've been to anyway) and they want $1,994 per month. Yes, that is more than my mortgage but that is for 10 hours per day, five days per week childcare. 1994 * 12 months / 52 weeks per year / 50 hours per week....that works out to $9.20 per hour.

We have a newborn. In our state the maximum ratio is 4:1 - that means $9.20 * 4 is $36.80. That's how much revenue a single employee can bring in per hour. Then start subtracting off the costs - insurance, a building, utilities, cleaning crew, toys, special activities, general maintenance, salaries and benefits and....yikes.

I also feel like there is this weird double standard a lot of people have. When my good friend had their first child, oh man, did I hear about how incredibly difficult it was to take care of a baby. How it NEVER ENDS, how there is always something to do, how you don't get a single minutes of peace. I've known a lot of people who will admit it is less draining to go to their fancy office job than it is to spend all day watching the baby. In fact, I'll admit to that. I'm a software developer and I'm really happy to sit at a desk and type all day. It's very low stress and I come home feeling pretty good. Leave me alone with my child and I'm exhausted after that same amount of time. I'm truly grateful I'm not a single parent, we only manage as well as we do because we both toss the baby back and forth.

But so many of these friends of mine who talk about how hard it is to raise a baby complain about the cost of daycare. They want well trained staff with lots of experience and certifications, they want the top rated daycare in the area, they want their child to have the full attention of the staff at all times.....but.....they want it for as cheap as possible.

I dunno.

I was blown away at how much amazing stuff this daycare had and all I could think was, 'Wow - for only $9 something an hour?'

[Cat Herder]

I just wanted to say I adore the above poster.

[Blackcat31]

Originally Posted by Cat Herder

I just wanted to say I adore the above poster.

I agree!

It's refreshing to see a parent navigate the maze of parenting, working and child care so openly and honestly.

It benefits the child more than anyone knows when parents and caregivers can be open and honest.

[Mike]

Originally Posted by Blackcat31

I agree!

It's refreshing to see a parent navigate the maze of parenting, working and child care so openly and honestly.

It benefits the child more than anyone knows when parents and caregivers can be open and honest.

When parents and caregivers understand each other and get along, children can actually enjoy getting dropped off, then also enjoy getting picked back up.

Parent/caregiver or mother/father, children are much happier when the adults in their life get along.

[Josiegirl]

Originally Posted by Cat Herder

I just wanted to say I adore the above poster.

Totally agree! After reading the reply they gave here and in another topic last night, about explaining why dcs charge for time off, I was thinking....wow, if only more parents felt this way!!!

[Ariana]

Originally Posted by NewParent2018

I feel like I'm alone in this (at least when I talk to my friends with children) but I feel like Daycare is cheaper than it should be.

I don't mean that to sound insensitive or anything, I know the cost of childcare is a real burden for people right now but when you stop and think about what you are getting it blows my mind with how cheap it is.

I went to a really nice daycare (the nicest I've been to anyway) and they want $1,994 per month. Yes, that is more than my mortgage but that is for 10 hours per day, five days per week childcare. 1994 * 12 months / 52 weeks per year / 50 hours per week....that works out to $9.20 per hour.

We have a newborn. In our state the maximum ratio is 4:1 - that means $9.20 * 4 is $36.80. That's how much revenue a single employee can bring in per hour. Then start subtracting off the costs - insurance, a building, utilities, cleaning crew, toys, special activities, general maintenance, salaries and benefits and....yikes.

I also feel like there is this weird double standard a lot of people have. When my good friend had their first child, oh man, did I hear about how incredibly difficult it was to take care of a baby. How it NEVER ENDS, how there is always something to do, how you don't get a single minutes of peace. I've known a lot of people who will admit it is less draining to go to their fancy office job than it is to spend all day watching the baby. In fact, I'll admit to that. I'm a software developer and I'm really happy to sit at a desk and type all day. It's very low stress and I come home feeling pretty good. Leave me alone with my child and I'm exhausted after that same amount of time. I'm truly grateful I'm not a single parent, we only manage as well as we do because we both toss the baby back and forth.

But so many of these friends of mine who talk about how hard it is to raise a baby complain about the cost of daycare. They want well trained staff with lots of experience and certifications, they want the top rated daycare in the area, they want their child to have the full attention of the staff at all times.....but.....they want it for as cheap as possible.

I dunno.

I was blown away at how much amazing stuff this daycare had and all I could think was, 'Wow - for only $9 something an hour?'

. Finally a parent who gets it!

My husband is a software designer as well and I would not trade jobs to save my life! Some people are designed for fancy office jobs and some of us are not. I could not even imagine my child being taken care of by another person (virtual stranger) who will not be as invested in my child as I am. The money he makes is sweet to be sure but I could not do it. Before choosing Early Childhood Education I studied Cartography and Graphic Design and realized I could not sit in front of a computer all day...I would lose my mind

I once had a lady come for an interview say “I would love to have your job, this is literally my dream job to stay home, but after staying home for over a year I just need to use my brain”. Haha! Awesome!

[Cat Herder]

Originally Posted by fathimamata

What are you saying I am totally confused please clarify it.

She said that the member using the name "NewParent2018" was a great addition to this forum based on the above post in this thread (#21) and another on a different thread. She also stated that she wished more parents shared her viewpoints on childcare in general.

[Blackcat31]

Originally Posted by Cat Herder

She said that the member using the name "NewParent2018" was a great addition to this forum based on the above post in this thread (#21) and another on a different thread. She also stated that she wished more parents shared her viewpoints on childcare in general.

They’re a Spammer

[Cat Herder]

Originally Posted by Blackcat31

They’re a Spammer

Got it.

If you need more help, I am available often and can be taught.