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Old 12-10-2010, 07:22 PM
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kpa0627 kpa0627 is offline
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Default Parents, Would You Be Upset?

A child in my daycare got bit by another child today over a toy. They are both 23 months old. It did not break the skin so I cleaned it off put an ice pack on it and then filled out an accident report to place in child's folder. When mom picked up I told her what happened and how I cleaned it and she said okay and acted as if it was no big deal. An hour later she text my phone and it said "Who was it that bit my son?" I text back "One of the little ones. I'm not supposed to disclose that information." Her response, "I can't believe that." I text back, "You can't believe what?" Her response, "I can't believe that my kid can be bit but I am not allowed to know who did it. What happens if it breaks skin?" At this point I tried to call so we could talk but she wouldn't answer. She texted again, "I am not mad but I think that it should be a parental right when something like that happens that I know." I text back a lengthy response, "Well, it is no different than when your son went through his biting phase a few months ago. I let the parents know what happened but did not disclose who did it. That is when you run into parents not wanting their kid around that child, etc. It's just like your work (she's a nurse) where some things have to be kept private. Daycare is the same. The biting policy is in the handbook. If it breaks the skin I must call the parent so they have the choice of me cleaning it or coming to look at it to decide if they would like a doctor to look at it (licensing rules). You can contact my licensing surveyor at *** *** ***X if you feel the need to but i assure you the two issues you've had with my daycare (biting policy and sick policy) is appropriate via their rules."
She text back, "Ok well have a great weekend." I said "Thanks."
I handled the bite the way State requires me too and I did not disclose the information of the child who did the biting because legally I'm not supposed to and she is angry about it. Why? I just don't get it. Kids bite, it happens. As you read, her child went through a biting phase a few months ago so she should be more understanding I would think.
Parents, would this make you angry or do you think she's just having a bad day or something??
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Old 12-10-2010, 08:20 PM
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I know I'm biased because I also do daycare, but I think it helps to explain to parents a little further into why you can't tell them.

Explain it in terms of their child. For instance:

I know you are upset that your child (Tommy) got bit today. But the law requires that I can't disclose information on who did it. This is done to protect the children in my care from alienation, etc. If your child were to bite/hit/scratch/ and harm another child, would you want me to tell that child's parents it was your son/daughter, potentially causing the parents to tell the child not to play with your child, thus making your child feel alienated in a place where he should feel comfortable and cared for? Probably not.

You can always use the fact that it's the law as your fallback excuse.

You may also make a parent feel more comfortable by reassuring them that if harmful behavior becomes a habit (such as biting that breaks the skin over and over again), that you would terminate care for that child to better protect the other children.

But bottom line, a parent needs to understand that this is a common childhood problem and unless it gets out of hand, they are going to have to be a little more understanding.
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2 year old, bad behavior, hitting

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