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Old 01-18-2012, 12:19 PM
wdmmom wdmmom is offline
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: WDM, IA
Posts: 2,669
Default What Do You Do When Kids Become BFF's And Won't Play With Others?

I run a tight ship and last Thursday I started noticing 2 of my older boys becoming a lot closer. I noticed them "shun" another boy and kept "jacking each other up" and start breaking rules together.

I expect all of my kids to play together. What I don't expect to deal with is middle school behavior and to me, that's exactly what they are doing.

Starting Monday, I separated the kids into groups. I had a group with me and my assistant had the other group (with the sole purpose of splitting up the 2 boys that are acting like BFFs.)

Today DCB1 had school in the morning so he wasn't here. When he showed up at lunch, DCB2 refused to eat because he wanted to play with DCB1.

DCB2 will go off to preschool in August. DCB1's mom is pregnant and he may not return after June. Do I continue to deal with this Monday through Thursday (DCB1 isn't here Fridays)? Do I continue to separate them? Does anyone have any other suggestions?
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Old 01-18-2012, 04:21 PM
SD DaycareMOM's Avatar
SD DaycareMOM SD DaycareMOM is offline Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: South Dakota
Posts: 49

I have two boys like that right now, too, one of them being my own son. I personally don't want them to have to sacrifice the experience of a good friendship, but of course I can't allow them to misbehave because of it, either. I have just tried to keep and extra close eye on them lately and enforce our Teacher Tom-inspired rule of "You can't say 'you can't play.'" If they are playing a game together and tell someone else that they can't play, I just try to help them work it out and find a "role" for the other child in their make-believe play. Any other type of misbehavior is dealt with as quickly as possible without the warnings or leeway I might sometimes give an individual child. We also try to focus on the positives of friendship, and that being a good friend means being kind to everyone. If I were in your shoes, I would just keep a close eye on them for now. You never know, if allowed to run it's course, this extra close friendship may fade on its own.
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divide and conquer, pecking order, playing issues

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