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countrymom 09:16 AM 02-11-2011
I have a 5.5 yr old dcb who CANNOT
put on his snowpants
put on his coat and zip it
put his boots on, let alone on the right feet

I find it very ridiculous that he cannot do these things, oh wait, he goes to school and I know for a fact the teacher does not do this for him. Oh, its better his 2 yr old sister can dress herself. I refuse to do it, yup, this is one area I don't help, you will get it. The problem is, is that his parents do it for him but I let the kids dress themselves (how else do they learn) oh his mom wants me to teach him to tie his shoes, um he can't even dress himself so how is going to tie his shoes. And he wears his pants backwards alot and his socks too.
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AnythingsPossible 09:19 AM 02-11-2011
In my opinion, it isn't that he can't, it's that he won't. He doesn't have to, he isn't going to. I had a four year old whose parents insisted he still needed to suck his thumb. Couldn't function if he didn't. Well, he functioned just fine here and didn't suck his thumb.
He isn't made to, he isn't going to.
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Blackcat31 09:21 AM 02-11-2011
Originally Posted by countrymom:
I have a 5.5 yr old dcb who CANNOT
put on his snowpants
put on his coat and zip it
can put his boots on, let alone on the right feet

I find it very ridiculous that he cannot do these things, oh wait, he goes to school and I know for a fact the teacher does not do this for him. Oh, its better his 2 yr old sister can dress herself. I refuse to do it, yup, this is one area I don't help, you will get it. The problem is, is that his parents do it for him but I let the kids dress themselves (how else do they learn) oh his mom wants me to teach him to tie his shoes, um he can't even dress himself so how is going to tie his shoes. And he wears his pants backwards alot and his socks too.
I have 6.5 yr old who can do none of that either. Not because he isn't smart enough or capable enough but because his mother does everything for him. When he is being picked up , he sits on the bench and holds his feet out for his mom to put his boots on.....he walks around here wiht his socks not quite all the way on and has like 2 inches of them flapping off his toes and he will never fix them..he says his mom will do it. and yep, as soon as she gets here she does! He doesn't know how to use silverware or have self help skills of any kind.

I gave up on this situation a while ago becuase after all the conferences and suggestions and such with mom she is adamant that he can do all of this and more at home, I just don't see it here. (He was with me every day from 8-5 until he started Kindy) so in my teen neices words, "what ev"
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lil angels 09:21 AM 02-11-2011
Yes it is to old. I find girls always dress before boys but wow. His parents prob find it a lot faster to just do it themselves than take to time to let him do it. I would have him start getting dressed before everyone else and let him have that time to practice. He should pic it up pretty fast for the age he is.
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DCMomOf3 09:21 AM 02-11-2011
yes, IMO, it's too old to not be doing those things. I am struggling to get my 4yoDS to zip his coat, but he can do everything else. I know he would rather I do it, but he can so he will.
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safechner 09:24 AM 02-11-2011
Yes, he is too old but he can dress himself. It sounds like he is too lazy and the parents do it for him all the time. Maybe you should talk to his parents that he have to learn on his own. I am sure the parents wouldn't want dress him until he is 12 years old or older if they continued. Making his parents to teach him how to tie their shoes. I had 4 years old dcb in my daycare and his parents dress him all the time until about 6 years old so I decided I forced him to learn on his own and he have to learn how to tie his shoes. He threw fit a big time and cried all the time but his parents cannot argued with me because they agreed with me that he needs to learn. About a week or so, he finally gave up and he dress himself and learn how to tie his shoes. After that, he is happy that I make him do it.
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DCMom 09:34 AM 02-11-2011
They only way they are going to learn to do it is by having them do it themselves, I'm afraid. 99% of my dcks start here as infants, so by the time my they turn 3 they can pretty much get dressed with no help, except for tying, zippers, etc. By the time they turn 4, they are doing it all; I rarely need to help. At 5, heck they are helping the other kids, lol.

I'm big on self sufficiency here, it needs to be encouraged. The problem it take time and unfortunately parents always seem to be in a hurry so they just do it for them. It's not that they can't, they've just never learned how.
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momofsix 09:47 AM 02-11-2011
I have a 6.5 year old that won't do anything himself either. Drives me batty. Parents do everything for him, and he whines if they aren't helping him. Even when I've taught him (last year he could do every part of going outside himself) his parents don't want to wait for him, so they do it for him. His little brother does his own stuff, b/c he's here all day and has been here since he was a baby. I asked dcb what happens at school, and he says his teacher helps him. I couldn't believe it! It's not worth the battle to me anymore, as he's in school half days and will most likely be leaving this summer.
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countrymom 10:00 AM 02-11-2011
I've had this kid since he was 14months old, but the older he gets the worse he is (imo, there is something not right) but how do you not know how to put a coat on or a sweater. also, if I'm dressing the littles I expect the older ones to dress themselves, can you imagine him at 10, I can see his mom still dressing him.
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Unregistered 06:49 PM 02-12-2011
I have a couple here who would sit and wait for me to dress them if I'd give in and do it...I get really ticked when their moms come in and dress them...they do it perfectly alright at school and here but as soon as they see their moms, they go helpless..

I have a cousin who's mom used to CARRY him downstairs AND dress him when he was 8 or 9 years old! My mom couldn't believe it until she saw her doing it...no wonder he's still a screw up even to this day...his mommy isn't here anymore to do everything for him...sad...
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Tags:developmental delay, developmentally delayed
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