Smiley 2014 06:42 PM 07-19-2013
Hi, I have been licensed for almost a year now. I have alot of question and finally found this site! I hope I can get some great advice. I have two of my own children 3 and 5 and 4 daycare kids all under 4. I have a few major concern. I enrolled a 3 year old boy that his father just found in in foster care his dss worker stops by to check on him and say he has made progress since he has been with me 3 months he is very hyper active! Runs all day no nap and is very defiant. He will not sit still in time out at all I have talked to dad many times he said he tries time out which is not successful then he smacks him. I truly believe it is impossible to get him to sit for more then a minute. I try to redirect but he is one determined little boy. I have made progress for him escaping the house and yard which his dss worker was very worried about. I just feel at every day how much more can I handle. I would hate to lose him as one of my kids I am making progress little... But some progress. I just feel I am taking away from the other kids because I can not get him to follow directions. Now the other children are starting to pick up on some of his behavior. His dss worker said every foster care he was in 3 of which had to let him go due to daycare provider not being able to keep him. He spits and hits when I warn him at least 3 times then time out and he says I'm not sitting and jumps in the spot I put him in a playing matter. At the end of the day I am wiped out, we'll more than normal. I feel bad for him because I know he wants to listen but it's like his body won't let him his dss worker asked if I notice any learning disabilities beside him not being able to calm down to get involved I don't see any learning disabilities. My other children are being held back and I can't afford to hirer extra staff to have one on one time with him. Would he be better at a bigger center? I think a bigger center would be even more stimulated then the center I run. Ok I hope I gave enough information to get some feed back. Thanks so much
Michael 06:54 PM 07-19-2013
Welcome to the forum. I will upgrade your status.
Have you tried putting sitting him at the computer with a learning game on for him to play on? I wouldn't normally do this but see if he has the attention span and is interested. There are some great Disney learning software that you could try. Otherwise you may need to terminate especially if his bad behavior is spreading to the other children.
Cradle2crayons 07:37 PM 07-19-2013
Has he had an official add and ADHD assessment?? If so, why haven't they thought to place him on some medication to settle him down enough to address these behaviors??
If he has a dss worker why hasn't she thought about this??
My daughter was like that prior to the add med... Then they placed her on an ahd med... Woot the tenex to calm her down she was like speedy Gonzalez. She wanted to do better but she just couldn't slow down enough to get her body to work.
Tenex is a miracle worker in see kids who are in over drive. It's not a stimulant. It simply slows them down.
cheerfuldom 08:06 PM 07-19-2013
do you have any early intervention programs in your area? my daughter has some significant impulse control issues, high energy, little focus. she is currently being evaluated but i do know there are sensory issues there. she has been accepted into specialized preschool free of charge for me. there are also preschool programs in my area that even provide transportation for special needs kids. one of my daycare kids is transported to my house and i only do half days for her. there has got to be some sort of evaluation available for him. not every special needs child has a learning delay. many kids are extremely bright but that doesnt mean that there are not behavorial concerns. all that to say that I would check into any free services and let dad know and worker know that you need some more significant progress as well as a behavorial plan in place in order to continue working with this little guy. you can only take so much and if the parent is not being proactive, its not your responsibility to solve this for them. i am sad to hear that the worker is not being more hands on here. this kid has been kicked out of three daycares for behavorial issues and no one has suggested an evaluation? they are asking you about special needs but it doesnt sound like you are trained to spot or diagnose this correct?
Familycare71 08:22 PM 07-19-2013
I am not sure where you are but in most areas children three and under would be evaluated by early intervention and four and up it is done through the school district. The evaluation would be of no charge to the parent. Obviously something is going on with this child... ADHD, ODD, sensory issues, etc... Are all a possibility. I personally would talk to Dad but also, because you have been in contact with the case worker, talk to her as well. If she is willing to ask you for a personal opinion on delays hopefully she will follow through with you requesting evaluations. Is this a foster dad or bio dad? If it is a foster dad (in NY anyway) the state has to approve any medical intervention so your case worker will be your main person who can make this happen. If he is the bio dad he can request it himself. Call your Licenser if you do not know the local # if the child is under three. If he is four or older someone (case worker or dad) would just have to write a letter to the special education committy requesting an evaluation be done. This letter can be pretty simple and to the point.
I am in NY so things may be a bit diff where you are.
Bottom line IMO is if this child doesn't get evaluated and then get the services he needs nothing will really improve enough for you to feel diff about the work load he requires.
Hth and welcome!!
Unregistered 05:45 AM 07-20-2013
Thank you all for the welcome. When I went through school I thought ADHD was only treated at age 6. I just worry that if I let him go if he will not get the help he needs. I have got him potty trained and his speaking is getting better I made an appointment for a speech therapist to come meet with him. When his worker addresses that the past providers thought he may have a learning disability I have work with children with these disabilities before and see no signs other then his attention due to his hyper and negative behavior. I am going to contact his dss worker because she said she only has a few more months with him before full custody is given to the father. There has to be something she can come up with. I have tried so many behavior plans a chart, stickers, out side activities and an m&m for good behavior I seen another post of making a little table section with paper and crayons to let the child in time out get their emotions out on paper so this might work for having him get some anger out when he is mad that he is in time out.
Familycare71 12:04 PM 07-20-2013
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Thank you all for the welcome. When I went through school I thought ADHD was only treated at age 6. I just worry that if I let him go if he will not get the help he needs. I have got him potty trained and his speaking is getting better I made an appointment for a speech therapist to come meet with him. When his worker addresses that the past providers thought he may have a learning disability I have work with children with these disabilities before and see no signs other then his attention due to his hyper and negative behavior. I am going to contact his dss worker because she said she only has a few more months with him before full custody is given to the father. There has to be something she can come up with. I have tried so many behavior plans a chart, stickers, out side activities and an m&m for good behavior I seen another post of making a little table section with paper and crayons to let the child in time out get their emotions out on paper so this might work for having him get some anger out when he is mad that he is in time out.
I say: speech delays never travel alone... Unless they are very minor there tends to be more to the equation than just speech delays. He really needs a full evaluation.