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Old 12-13-2018, 11:12 AM
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Reimel61 Reimel61 is offline
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I have a 20 month old who only wants to take the other older childrens toys that they are playing with. She won't get interested in anything unless she's the only one in the room. Someone's there she takes there stuff. I keep redirecting her to other toys but she goes right back. Today I finally got the pack n play out and when she took something from the other kids I put her in the pack n play and told her "No we don't take toys from our friends". I really don't remember any of the other kids in the past being at presistent as she has been. I did have the room gated in half a few months ago but I hate to go back to that. I figure she's got to learn at some point. I think she likes getting a reaction from the kids when she does it, they cry or scream "she took my toy" and she continues to do it. Suggestions??? Thanks
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Old 12-13-2018, 12:08 PM
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I'm not allowed to use a crib as punishment, and I need to provide more space per child than a crib gives. My playroom has a gate up at all times so I can shuffle the kids back and forth depending on age/pushiness. You really need to get the gate back out; you're going to need it now and in the future. Just wait until one of your kids decides shoving/biting/head-butting is their favorite way to play.

She's not going to "learn" until she passes from the parallel play stage into the cooperative play stage. You can help reduce the toy-stealing by providing each child with a mat to play on. One activity at a time, one kid per mat. That creates a visual delineation of personal space.

Until she passes into that next stage, she needs a consequence that doesn't provide the entertainment of an endless succession of second chances. "I steal, I get dumped into the crib for a few minutes, I get put back on the floor, I steal." Just pop her over the gate into a boring portion of the room with only a few toys, and that's where she stays for the duration of free play.
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Old 12-13-2018, 03:16 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Reimel61 View Post
I have a 20 month old who only wants to take the other older childrens toys that they are playing with. She won't get interested in anything unless she's the only one in the room. Someone's there she takes there stuff. I keep redirecting her to other toys but she goes right back. Today I finally got the pack n play out and when she took something from the other kids I put her in the pack n play and told her "No we don't take toys from our friends". I really don't remember any of the other kids in the past being at presistent as she has been. I did have the room gated in half a few months ago but I hate to go back to that. I figure she's got to learn at some point. I think she likes getting a reaction from the kids when she does it, they cry or scream "she took my toy" and she continues to do it. Suggestions??? Thanks
I think I have her clone in my day care. She has no interest in any of the toys until another child starts to use them. Then she runs right over yelling, "Me! Me!" and grabs the toy out of their hands. I tried putting her in a Super Yard gate but she's a big kid and just started moving the gate around the room as she walked. I tried tying down the gate to the legs of a table so she couldn't walk around with the gate but then she started throwing the toys I had given her to play with at the other kids. I tried not giving her anything back to play with but besides the fact that that really isn't a good long term solution, it only made her scream and cry which we all then had to listen to. She'd also pull the other kids' hair if they got close enough to the gate - which they did...often...despite warnings from me. Out of desperation, I finally started to sit her in her high chair with a book or a piece of paper with some crayons each time she grabbed a toy from someone. It hasn't corrected her behavior but it gives me a couple of minutes of peace which, at times, I need just to get something done like change a diaper, make a meal, etc.

I wish I had some great ideas to share with you because I feel your pain but nothing I've tried so far has really helped. Hopefully someone can recommend a good way to deal with this kind of behavior. Right now, I'm just crossing my fingers and hoping it gets better with time.
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Old 12-14-2018, 12:10 PM
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Thanks for the replys. Yes my little one is a hair puller also. Today I enlarged a gate that I have that prevents them all from leaving the large room we're all in. I let the two 3 year olds play on the side that's open to the rest of the house with a doll house. She was on the other side. She played with the kitchen set, had plates out, a baby doll sitting in a chair and was playing great. I guess the thing I'm trying to avoid is when Mom shows up to pick her up. Mom thinks she should be with everyone else playing and it just doesn't work yet. I know Mom would be upset seeing her play alone but she was having a good time.
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Old 12-14-2018, 12:37 PM
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Originally Posted by Reimel61 View Post
Thanks for the replys. Yes my little one is a hair puller also. Today I enlarged a gate that I have that prevents them all from leaving the large room we're all in. I let the two 3 year olds play on the side that's open to the rest of the house with a doll house. She was on the other side. She played with the kitchen set, had plates out, a baby doll sitting in a chair and was playing great. I guess the thing I'm trying to avoid is when Mom shows up to pick her up. Mom thinks she should be with everyone else playing and it just doesn't work yet. I know Mom would be upset seeing her play alone but she was having a good time.
You don't need to create an artificial image of an idyllic play group. If Mom has a kid who's disruptive, Mom needs to be on board with solutions.
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