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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>How To Deal With Tantrums
providerandmomof4 05:48 PM 10-05-2012
I'm worried that I'm not handling a crier well. I have a dcb that cries loudly that usually ends up a full out temper tantrum- when he doesn't get his way. He's 3 and usually really independent but this past week, his crying and fits have gotten worse. On Fridays the kids pick a kids movie to watch before rest time and they love this as I rarely have the tv on at all during the week. Today I turned the movie off about 3/4 through it because it was rest time. I told them before we started the movie that it was long therefore we couldn't watch all of it before rest time and we would watch the rest of it after rest time. When I turned off the tv, dcb began crying and proceeded to cry through reading time and the entire rest time. At first I tried consoling him and saying I'm sorry your upset, but I told you that we wouldn't be able to watch it all. The crying just got louder and the more I ignored it, he began throwing an all out fit....kicking and screaming. It made me want to not put the movie back on after rest time since he acted so poorly, but I didn't want to punish the other kids who were trying to rest (even though they couldn't because of him) The kids know our routine, so I really don't understand why all of the sudden, he is throwing huge tantrums. Yesterday it was because we were going for a walk and he didn't want to go. I don't know how to deal with these temper fits!
And he has been doing it more and more lately! Ignoring it only make him worse....help!
And he has been doing it more and more lately! Ignoring it only make him worse....help!
EntropyControlSpecialist 06:33 PM 10-05-2012
If you haven't changed anything at daycare, ask Mom/Dad/Guardian if anything has changed at home (Ex: Working more, parent out of town on business, just very busy, etc.). Usually, when something changes at home the child changes at daycare.
We used to have a tantrum prone child. Full on kicking, screaming, head bashing against the floor.
The only thing that works is calmly getting in the child's face on their level, signing and saying, "Please stop!" and then asking, "Do you need to go to hula hoop time?" if they do not stop. We ask a child to do something once. If it is not done or starting to be done within 5 seconds then they are placed in hula hoop time. Children do not wait for us to raise our voice, get a stern look, etc. They know we mean business the first time we ask.
If the child continues to tantrum in hula hoop time, then so be it. Ignore it. I promise you that ignoring it does work. If you are carrying on like you don't notice, then they aren't getting what they want ... attention.
Hula Hoop Time: We have a large hula hoop that the child sits in if they are misbehaving. They are allowed 1 toy or 1 book and can exchange it, but if you are in hula hoop time you are alone and without friends and it is just oh so sad.
We used to have a tantrum prone child. Full on kicking, screaming, head bashing against the floor.
The only thing that works is calmly getting in the child's face on their level, signing and saying, "Please stop!" and then asking, "Do you need to go to hula hoop time?" if they do not stop. We ask a child to do something once. If it is not done or starting to be done within 5 seconds then they are placed in hula hoop time. Children do not wait for us to raise our voice, get a stern look, etc. They know we mean business the first time we ask.
If the child continues to tantrum in hula hoop time, then so be it. Ignore it. I promise you that ignoring it does work. If you are carrying on like you don't notice, then they aren't getting what they want ... attention.
Hula Hoop Time: We have a large hula hoop that the child sits in if they are misbehaving. They are allowed 1 toy or 1 book and can exchange it, but if you are in hula hoop time you are alone and without friends and it is just oh so sad.
providerandmomof4 07:32 AM 10-06-2012
Originally Posted by EntropyControlSpecialist:
If you haven't changed anything at daycare, ask Mom/Dad/Guardian if anything has changed at home (Ex: Working more, parent out of town on business, just very busy, etc.). Usually, when something changes at home the child changes at daycare.
We used to have a tantrum prone child. Full on kicking, screaming, head bashing against the floor.
The only thing that works is calmly getting in the child's face on their level, signing and saying, "Please stop!" and then asking, "Do you need to go to hula hoop time?" if they do not stop. We ask a child to do something once. If it is not done or starting to be done within 5 seconds then they are placed in hula hoop time. Children do not wait for us to raise our voice, get a stern look, etc. They know we mean business the first time we ask.
If the child continues to tantrum in hula hoop time, then so be it. Ignore it. I promise you that ignoring it does work. If you are carrying on like you don't notice, then they aren't getting what they want ... attention.
Hula Hoop Time: We have a large hula hoop that the child sits in if they are misbehaving. They are allowed 1 toy or 1 book and can exchange it, but if you are in hula hoop time you are alone and without friends and it is just oh so sad.
I like the hula hoop idea. How do you get the kids to leave the hula hoop alone otherwise? My kids have them for outdoor play and I'm worried it would be a battle to get them to leave it alone indoors.If you haven't changed anything at daycare, ask Mom/Dad/Guardian if anything has changed at home (Ex: Working more, parent out of town on business, just very busy, etc.). Usually, when something changes at home the child changes at daycare.
We used to have a tantrum prone child. Full on kicking, screaming, head bashing against the floor.
The only thing that works is calmly getting in the child's face on their level, signing and saying, "Please stop!" and then asking, "Do you need to go to hula hoop time?" if they do not stop. We ask a child to do something once. If it is not done or starting to be done within 5 seconds then they are placed in hula hoop time. Children do not wait for us to raise our voice, get a stern look, etc. They know we mean business the first time we ask.
If the child continues to tantrum in hula hoop time, then so be it. Ignore it. I promise you that ignoring it does work. If you are carrying on like you don't notice, then they aren't getting what they want ... attention.
Hula Hoop Time: We have a large hula hoop that the child sits in if they are misbehaving. They are allowed 1 toy or 1 book and can exchange it, but if you are in hula hoop time you are alone and without friends and it is just oh so sad.
Idk...he is just really hard to transition from one activity to the next. Even if he has ample reminders that this is what we will be doing. If he isn't ready to leave, have lunch, do a project, have rest time (this is a huge one lately!), go to the bathroom..... It's a full on tantrum....
EntropyControlSpecialist 08:39 PM 10-06-2012
Originally Posted by providerandmomof4:
I like the hula hoop idea. How do you get the kids to leave the hula hoop alone otherwise? My kids have them for outdoor play and I'm worried it would be a battle to get them to leave it alone indoors.
Idk...he is just really hard to transition from one activity to the next. Even if he has ample reminders that this is what we will be doing. If he isn't ready to leave, have lunch, do a project, have rest time (this is a huge one lately!), go to the bathroom..... It's a full on tantrum....
We have the Hula Hoop Time hula hoop hanging on the wall. They get it down for Hula Hoop Time and they put it back up when it's over.I like the hula hoop idea. How do you get the kids to leave the hula hoop alone otherwise? My kids have them for outdoor play and I'm worried it would be a battle to get them to leave it alone indoors.
Idk...he is just really hard to transition from one activity to the next. Even if he has ample reminders that this is what we will be doing. If he isn't ready to leave, have lunch, do a project, have rest time (this is a huge one lately!), go to the bathroom..... It's a full on tantrum....
Hmmmmmm ... are there any delays present?
Willow 09:32 PM 10-06-2012
Have you tried giving him choices during transitions?
"We're going to go sit down for lunch in a bit, do you think you're going to want to eat your watermelon or your carrot sticks?"
"We're going to paint soon, what color do you want to start with, red or blue?"
"We're going to go outside later, which toy do you think you're going to want to play with?"
If it's a toddler power struggle issue making him feel like he's got some control over what's coming next could help him (and subsequently you!) tremendously.
"We're going to go sit down for lunch in a bit, do you think you're going to want to eat your watermelon or your carrot sticks?"
"We're going to paint soon, what color do you want to start with, red or blue?"
"We're going to go outside later, which toy do you think you're going to want to play with?"
If it's a toddler power struggle issue making him feel like he's got some control over what's coming next could help him (and subsequently you!) tremendously.