Daycare.com Forum Daycare Management Software

Go Back   Daycare.com Forum > Main Category > Daycare Center and Family Home Forum

Daycare Center and Family Home Forum Daycare Center and Family Home owners, Directors, Operators and Assistants should post and ask questions here.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 08-19-2018, 01:51 PM
BumbleBee's Avatar
BumbleBee BumbleBee is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Michigan
Posts: 2,379
Default Is this Normal?

Dcb age 5 (almost 6) will scream "I hate my life" and "I want to die" when being disciplined.

I suspect he said those things the first time and got a reaction somewhere so uses it as a means to an end (getting out of 'trouble,' shifting the focus, etc.)

But there's a side of me that wonders if this isn't just anger/frustration/manipulation.

He doesn't do this every time, generally when he's really ticked off about being disciplined. Other things he screams are:

"I'm never coming back to your house ever again"
"You are the worst babysitter ever"
"I'm never using your stupid toys ever again"
"Stupid house, stupid rules, stupid babies, stupid toys, etc."

anyone see this type of behavior at this age? Is it normal?
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 08-19-2018, 01:53 PM
Michael's Avatar
Michael Michael is online now
Admin & Owner-Daycare.com
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Moorpark CA, Ocean Ridge, FL
Posts: 7,724
Default

My first question would be to ask the parents about his behavior. Does he do this at home?
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 08-19-2018, 02:01 PM
BumbleBee's Avatar
BumbleBee BumbleBee is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Michigan
Posts: 2,379
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Michael View Post
My first question would be to ask the parents about his behavior. Does he do this at home?
Yes he does.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 08-19-2018, 02:34 PM
Blackcat31's Avatar
Blackcat31 Blackcat31 is offline
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 19,720
Default

Iíve had one kid like that. 6 yr old boy.
Turned out the parent was EXACTLY like that too...
Wouldnít have had a clue until grandma shared an accidental butt dialed call that recorded the parents fighting and mom saying she was stupid, worthless and should just kill herself every time dad tried to reason with her.
Could he be imitatating a parent?
Sad when kids say stuff like that.
Authentic feelings or learned behavior itís sad either way.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 08-19-2018, 02:54 PM
Josiegirl's Avatar
Josiegirl Josiegirl is online now
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Right here
Posts: 10,894
Default

I was thinking along the lines of BC, that he'd heard it someplace. I cannot imagine a 5-6 yo coming up with that on their own. Older sibling maybe? I get the 'stupid baby, stupid rules' kind of stuff. Or I hate this house, etc. But to say I hate my life, just want to die...those sound like phrases he's copied from someone else.
What are his parents' responses at home?
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 08-19-2018, 02:59 PM
Josiegirl's Avatar
Josiegirl Josiegirl is online now
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Right here
Posts: 10,894
Default

To answer your question 'is it normal', being frustrated and angry, expressing their feelings, to me, that's all normal. Not nice or fun to hear and until kids learn some self control they're going to be brutally honest. They're not getting their way and they're downright pi$$ed about it. But it'd be the I hate my life, I want to die that isn't normal. But then if it's something he's been exposed to, to him it's normal.
We really have no clue what goes on behind closed doors.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 08-19-2018, 03:45 PM
BumbleBee's Avatar
BumbleBee BumbleBee is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Michigan
Posts: 2,379
Default

Good point. He could've heard it somewhere and is repeating it. Just like if any of the kids here pick it up from him.

It does bother me and while I don't give it any verbal attention I wouldn't doubt I'm showing how uncomfortable it makes me when he does it.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 08-19-2018, 03:53 PM
BumbleBee's Avatar
BumbleBee BumbleBee is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Michigan
Posts: 2,379
Default

Parent responses at home I'm not sure. I know what the parents say they do but actions have shown differently, kwim?

Mom is pretty nonchalant about it, doesn't react. Dad gets upset, not yelling upset but it strikes a nerve and hurts his heart. He says he ignores but what I've seen is a lot of coddling and make it better type response. He really struggles when his kids are upset and will do a lot to make it better.
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 08-19-2018, 03:53 PM
BumbleBee's Avatar
BumbleBee BumbleBee is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Michigan
Posts: 2,379
Default

Side note, I love the tags on this thread
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 08-20-2018, 06:44 AM
Blackcat31's Avatar
Blackcat31 Blackcat31 is offline
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 19,720
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by BumbleBee View Post
Parent responses at home I'm not sure. I know what the parents say they do but actions have shown differently, kwim?

Mom is pretty nonchalant about it, doesn't react. Dad gets upset, not yelling upset but it strikes a nerve and hurts his heart. He says he ignores but what I've seen is a lot of coddling and make it better type response. He really struggles when his kids are upset and will do a lot to make it better.
I won't venture to say this is part of the problem but I think it is in a way. I've seen parents like that....they get really upset when their kids are upset and they do anything to make it better but when you do everything to make it better all the time not only does the child not learn to make it better on their own but what ever is done to make it better usually loses its power and that action has to become bigger and better every time.....
  • Child cries; parent gives a piece of candy.
  • Child cries so hard they throw up; parent gives child whole candy bar.
  • Child cries so hard they are hysterical. Starts hitting self;Parent gives candy bar and a movie before bed.
  • Child cries so hard they get hysterical, throw up and starts saying they are worthless and dumb;Parent gives bag of candy, buys child and iPad and lets them ignore their bed time for a few days.
  • Child cries so hard they are hysterical, hits themselves, throws up, hyperventilates and says they wish they were dead;Parent hands over keys to the car and house, their debit card and the TV remote.
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 08-20-2018, 10:14 AM
Ariana's Avatar
Ariana Ariana is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 8,967
Default

I definitely see this as the kid mimicking behavior when having difficult feelings. Know the saying “kids do as we do, not as we say”? That would be my guess. Chances are this child has no real clue what “die” means, except for on tv.

I once heard my daughter sigh and say “ugh I am so stressed”!! She totally heard that from me...what does she have to be stressed about
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 08-20-2018, 10:18 AM
BumbleBee's Avatar
BumbleBee BumbleBee is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Michigan
Posts: 2,379
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
I won't venture to say this is part of the problem but I think it is in a way. I've seen parents like that....they get really upset when their kids are upset and they do anything to make it better but when you do everything to make it better all the time not only does the child not learn to make it better on their own but what ever is done to make it better usually loses its power and that action has to become bigger and better every time.....
  • Child cries; parent gives a piece of candy.
  • Child cries so hard they throw up; parent gives child whole candy bar.
  • Child cries so hard they are hysterical. Starts hitting self;Parent gives candy bar and a movie before bed.
  • Child cries so hard they get hysterical, throw up and starts saying they are worthless and dumb;Parent gives bag of candy, buys child and iPad and lets them ignore their bed time for a few days.
  • Child cries so hard they are hysterical, hits themselves, throws up, hyperventilates and says they wish they were dead;Parent hands over keys to the car and house, their debit card and the TV remote.
Yeah after I posted about the coddling I had a 'duh' moment and it clicked. Not to say it's the only thing going on but it's probably feeding it & making it bigger then it would be otherwise.
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 09-06-2018, 09:28 PM
knoxmomof2's Avatar
knoxmomof2 knoxmomof2 is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: May 2014
Location: East TN
Posts: 398
Default

I haven't, but I could see that eventually happening with 1 DCB I had. He was my first, started at 10 months. He was very verbal, very smart / manipulative and a handful!! His birthday was late in the year, so I would have had him until almost 6, but by 4.5, I insisted that he had "outgrown my program". He was screaming bloody murder at timeouts. I couldn't do anything with him, even had the parents on board with discipline, etc. He did use "I never want to come back here!" I could definitely see something like this happening with him had he stayed on... Some of his phrases are disturbing though....
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
5 year old, bad attitude, loud mouth, negative behaviors

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Normal Toddler Behavior? adnilwis Daycare Center and Family Home Forum 21 07-13-2016 12:29 PM
Is This Normal...Potty Question WImom Daycare Center and Family Home Forum 10 01-21-2015 03:11 PM
Is This Normal? Unregistered Daycare Center and Family Home Forum 6 10-10-2012 08:05 PM
4 Year Old Defiance In PreK, What Is Normal And What Is Not? Unregistered Parents and Guardians Forum 13 06-26-2012 10:19 AM


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:36 PM.



Daycare.com         Find A Daycare         List Your Daycare         Toys & Products                 About Us

Daycare.com
Please read our Disclaimer before continuing.

Topics pertain mainly to the following States:

Alabama Alaska Arizona Arkansas California Colorado Connecticut Delaware District of Columbia Florida Georgia Hawaii Idaho Illinois Indiana Iowa Kansas Kentucky Louisiana Maine Maryland Massachusetts Michigan Minnesota Mississippi Missouri Montana Nebraska Nevada New Hampshire New Jersey New Mexico New York North Carolina North Dakota Ohio Oklahoma Oregon Pennsylvania Rhode Island South Carolina South Dakota Tennessee Texas Utah Vermont Virginia Washington West Virginia Wisconsin Wyoming