Default Style Register
Daycare.com Forum
Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Sudden Anxiety Attack Or Something Else?
wash 06:38 AM 06-14-2011
seperation anxiety? I have a dck 4yrs that I have had for 2 yrs always came right in with no problems mom left he was fine. well for the last two weeks it has became a strugle for his mom and I every time she tries to walk out the door he goes running to her and clings and strarts crying saying he dont want to stay here. well his grandpa dropped him off today and same thing his older sis brought him to door and he he started to run towards the vehichle we "caught" him and i picked him up and started to walk in the door and he litterly latched on to the door jam and would not let go I had to "rip" his hands off to get him inside he cried for about 2min and he was fine and playing.

His mom got a new job at the school but for summer is working at our local dollar store part time but sometimes brings him on her days off so she can get stuff done she needs to. I told him the other day when he was having a fit that his mom was going to work and he didnt want to go to work with her. Well he said no she's not she is going to my home. So I am thinking maybe this is why he is so reluctant to stay with me. Nothing in my care has changed so I am puzzled at his sudden fits. Any suggestions?
Reply
dEHmom 06:49 AM 06-14-2011
kids are in tune with things that we are not sometimes. it could be several things.
maybe mom and dad are fighting more? getting a divorce?
maybe he realizes that mom is gone more and more? is he spending more time at daycare then before? is he the last one to leave and first one dropped off?
maybe mom isn't cuddling him as much, or maybe dad isn't home as often, or is more moody?

there are SO MANY things. the only thing i can suggest is talk to mom without dcb there, and ask her if anything is different at home. is he acting different for her too?

sometimes dh and i are so exhausted that we just sit down on the couch after supper, and ask the kids to play or watch a movie. while we are still in the living room WITH the kids, we are not cuddling, playing, or giving them direct attention. These are the evenings that the kids tend to get into more mischief.

i also know that my kids get really moody/grumpy/whiny right before they get sick. sometimes it just gets worse everyday until they finally come down with whatever is affecting them. they get really attached to me when they are like this.
Reply
Michelle 07:21 AM 06-14-2011
Oh yea, they know when mom plans to stay home, it's way more fun.
I had a family with older kids that KNEW their mom was going to be out shopping all day and they put me through the ringer all day long!!!!
They acted up and then "challenged" me to call their mom to come pick them up .
Reply
youretooloud 07:35 AM 06-14-2011
This happens here sometimes too. Always around that age.

Usually, there's something going on at home. Maybe they are talking about moving? Maybe the mom is pregnant. Maybe the parents are stressing out about something, or maybe they are fighting a lot.

If the big sister is staying home, that's also going to set him off. I don't blame him... he feels like he's missing out on something really fun that she's doing.

Also... kids this age, think differently than we do. We just forget what it was like to have absurd scary thoughts. I remember thinking people lived exactly 100 years. No more, no less... so, if someone was already 99 years old, they were going to die in one year. (I also thought trees lived 100 years) One day, my grandma said "I'm 99 yrs old" when I asked her how old she was. I was CRUSHED. I never told anybody either. I think I had a huge fit when it was time to leave Tennessee too.

There's a lot going on in Kid's minds, and they don't usually tell us what they are worried about. But, I'm guessing it's something at home. It may be something you'd never dream of, but it's bothering him.
Reply
dEHmom 07:43 AM 06-14-2011
sometimes kids have restless sleeps too. they are sleeping but not getting the right kind of sleep. this makes them tired, and when kids are tired they always want mommy.

i was an extremely shy little girl. i have always been ridiculously close with my mom, and almost never left her side. I was the baby of course, and i got a little extra attention.

i am 26 yo and i still sit on my moms lap
Reply
Michelle 07:49 AM 06-14-2011
Originally Posted by dEHmom:
sometimes kids have restless sleeps too. they are sleeping but not getting the right kind of sleep. this makes them tired, and when kids are tired they always want mommy.

i was an extremely shy little girl. i have always been ridiculously close with my mom, and almost never left her side. I was the baby of course, and i got a little extra attention.

i am 26 yo and i still sit on my moms lap


Um Dr. Phil........
Reply
dEHmom 07:52 AM 06-14-2011
Originally Posted by Michelle:


Um Dr. Phil........
i used to like him, but he gets on my nerves now. he's one of those self righteous people.

but i love my mommy.
Reply
Michelle 08:28 AM 06-14-2011
Originally Posted by dEHmom:
i used to like him, but he gets on my nerves now. he's one of those self righteous people.

but i love my mommy.
I need you to talk with my unappreciative 18 year old daughter
Reply
dEHmom 08:43 AM 06-14-2011
Originally Posted by Michelle:
I need you to talk with my unappreciative 18 year old daughter
my mom has always been my best friend. we've always had open communication.

i know this sounds gross, but my mom never closed the bathroom door, bedroom door or anything. my dad got so mad all the time, but whatever. she was the 14th child born, lived in a farm house that only had a kitchen, living room and attic. literally. she was 15 yo before they got indoor plumbing. stuff like privacy was never really an issue to them. this may have been part of the reason we were always so open to talk about sex, our body, etc etc with her. my dad never farted! NEVER NEVER NEVER. one time he was sick and coughed, and a little fart squeeked out and i swear it shocked us all! i think that was when i was around 16 yo. but my dad also always had shows on like tlc on in the living room and so we were very educated in certain things.

my mom was lenient and my dad was strict. so we always went to mom with anything we wanted, or needed to know.

i never understood how much my mom actually did until i became a mom. I realize how hard it is to keep a house clean (my dad would freak if there was one crumb on the floor), be a chauffeur, soccer mom, etc. my mom truly is super woman. sometimes people don't realize what they have until it's too late.

i think this all played a role in why we are so close with mom.


once again, i think open communication is the key to a successful relationship.
Reply
Michelle 08:57 AM 06-14-2011
Originally Posted by dEHmom:
my mom has always been my best friend. we've always had open communication.

i know this sounds gross, but my mom never closed the bathroom door, bedroom door or anything. my dad got so mad all the time, but whatever. she was the 14th child born, lived in a farm house that only had a kitchen, living room and attic. literally. she was 15 yo before they got indoor plumbing. stuff like privacy was never really an issue to them. this may have been part of the reason we were always so open to talk about sex, our body, etc etc with her. my dad never farted! NEVER NEVER NEVER. one time he was sick and coughed, and a little fart squeeked out and i swear it shocked us all! i think that was when i was around 16 yo. but my dad also always had shows on like tlc on in the living room and so we were very educated in certain things.

my mom was lenient and my dad was strict. so we always went to mom with anything we wanted, or needed to know.

i never understood how much my mom actually did until i became a mom. I realize how hard it is to keep a house clean (my dad would freak if there was one crumb on the floor), be a chauffeur, soccer mom, etc. my mom truly is super woman. sometimes people don't realize what they have until it's too late.

i think this all played a role in why we are so close with mom.


once again, i think open communication is the key to a successful relationship.
yes, I openly tell her she needs to let me know where she is and who she's with. I bought her a Ford Mustang for graduation so she can get to college safe and now I am regretting it. She's only 18 and oblivious of the dangers in the world. She wants to do part time babysitting and put an ad in Craigs list, then meet people at like starbucks for interviews ALONE. She thinks I'm paranoid and I shouldn't worry but I live in an area where teens just disappear.She is a very good daughter, I just wish she would listen to me.
Reply
daycare 09:38 AM 06-14-2011
Originally Posted by Michelle:
I need you to talk with my unappreciative 18 year old daughter
I think all kids are unappreciative of their parents until they get older or until they have kids of their own......
lol seems to be my experience anyways........
Reply
Tags:anxiety, apprehensive, separation anxiety
Reply Up