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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>How Do You Say NO?
mrsnj 08:10 AM 07-12-2013
I have a friend of one of my daycare parents sniffing around. I am already having issues with the mom (see other post
Or pretty much all my other posts cause they are usually based around her! LOL! ) and now the mom is sending her friend my direction. I have VBS this week and this new mom came up to talk with me. She is interested. However, I cannot stand this woman. She is one of the current DCMs pick ups and about as abrasive as one can be. I took a great dislike to her the moment I met her. She is just rude and comes across as rough. Her daughter I got to meet for the first time during VBS (I run it) and O...M...G.....
......the teacher in that class calls her "Honey BooBoo". 
She clearly is ADHD and about as rude as rude can be. Honestly, I think Honey BooBoo comes from a much better family if this gives you a clue on what I am already deal with. This week has been horrible with this child and my staff are all complaining. There is NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO way I am taking this child.
So....how does one advertise but yet turn away someone who clearly is not a fit without being rude??? I know it is coming. I just don't know how to avoid it and be nice in the same process.
Or pretty much all my other posts cause they are usually based around her! LOL! ) and now the mom is sending her friend my direction. I have VBS this week and this new mom came up to talk with me. She is interested. However, I cannot stand this woman. She is one of the current DCMs pick ups and about as abrasive as one can be. I took a great dislike to her the moment I met her. She is just rude and comes across as rough. Her daughter I got to meet for the first time during VBS (I run it) and O...M...G...........the teacher in that class calls her "Honey BooBoo". She clearly is ADHD and about as rude as rude can be. Honestly, I think Honey BooBoo comes from a much better family if this gives you a clue on what I am already deal with. This week has been horrible with this child and my staff are all complaining. There is NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO way I am taking this child.So....how does one advertise but yet turn away someone who clearly is not a fit without being rude??? I know it is coming. I just don't know how to avoid it and be nice in the same process.
Blackcat31 08:17 AM 07-12-2013
"Sorry Jill, I don't think I would be the right fit for you/your DD."
If she asks why, tell her that you try hard not to enroll people who are friends of current clients.....tell her it keeps the stress/conflicts to a minimum and you don't make exceptions.
Is the child older? If so, you could always go the "I'm looking to fill my space with someone younger or a boy" (so another DCB has a playmate.
Then give her a couple names/numbers of other daycare providers in the area. Or your local CCR&R.
If she asks why, tell her that you try hard not to enroll people who are friends of current clients.....tell her it keeps the stress/conflicts to a minimum and you don't make exceptions.
Is the child older? If so, you could always go the "I'm looking to fill my space with someone younger or a boy" (so another DCB has a playmate.
Then give her a couple names/numbers of other daycare providers in the area. Or your local CCR&R.
JoseyJo 08:23 AM 07-12-2013
We are VERY picky about who we accept. We make it clear during interviews that the most important criteria when accepting a child is that we are a good fit for that particular child, their family/parenting style, and they are a good fit for our current group.
We do a quick phone interview first to rule out some of the big ones like hours needed, ages, etc- then we have an in person interview where we ask them what they are looking for, and tell them what we offer. If they show interest in the spot we tell them that we are doing multiple interviews for each spot to make sure we find the best fit and that we will let them know in x number of days when our interviews are over.
If anything, parents appreciate that we are picky- everyone wants to be part of a club
We had the exact same situation, except we adore the dcm who referred. The friend's parenting style, wants/needs in a daycare, and personality, however was def NOT a good fit for us. We emailed the friend back after the interview and said
Thank you for your interest in (our daycare name). We enjoyed meeting with you and dcb today, however at this time we do not beleive we are the best fit for your family.
Thank you,
XXXX
When our DCM asked we told her the same thing. That we didn't believe that they would be the best fit at the same time. DCM totally understood and said she was secretly hoping we would say that because DCB and DCM are a mess!
We do a quick phone interview first to rule out some of the big ones like hours needed, ages, etc- then we have an in person interview where we ask them what they are looking for, and tell them what we offer. If they show interest in the spot we tell them that we are doing multiple interviews for each spot to make sure we find the best fit and that we will let them know in x number of days when our interviews are over.
If anything, parents appreciate that we are picky- everyone wants to be part of a club
We had the exact same situation, except we adore the dcm who referred. The friend's parenting style, wants/needs in a daycare, and personality, however was def NOT a good fit for us. We emailed the friend back after the interview and said
Thank you for your interest in (our daycare name). We enjoyed meeting with you and dcb today, however at this time we do not beleive we are the best fit for your family.
Thank you,
XXXX
When our DCM asked we told her the same thing. That we didn't believe that they would be the best fit at the same time. DCM totally understood and said she was secretly hoping we would say that because DCB and DCM are a mess!
mrsnj 09:48 AM 07-12-2013
I don't see a simple "we aren't a good fit" going over well without asking for a specific reason why not. If I were really interested in a center/provider I would ask myself.
I do think I could narrow it to "need a boy" or "a younger child". She is 4 and...well.... a girl. Maybe God will smile down on me and she won't ask for an interview. I don't see me having to turn her away going over so nicely.
I do think I could narrow it to "need a boy" or "a younger child". She is 4 and...well.... a girl. Maybe God will smile down on me and she won't ask for an interview.
I don't see me having to turn her away going over so nicely.
EntropyControlSpecialist 10:14 AM 07-12-2013
Originally Posted by mrsnj:
I don't see a simple "we aren't a good fit" going over well without asking for a specific reason why not. If I were really interested in a center/provider I would ask myself.
I do think I could narrow it to "need a boy" or "a younger child". She is 4 and...well.... a girl. Maybe God will smile down on me and she won't ask for an interview. I don't see me having to turn her away going over so nicely.
Perhaps your next available interview time is one full month away from when they inquire (if they do) ... I don't see a simple "we aren't a good fit" going over well without asking for a specific reason why not. If I were really interested in a center/provider I would ask myself.
I do think I could narrow it to "need a boy" or "a younger child". She is 4 and...well.... a girl. Maybe God will smile down on me and she won't ask for an interview.
I don't see me having to turn her away going over so nicely.
Hopefully in that amount of time you find someone else.
MarinaVanessa 11:17 AM 07-12-2013
Originally Posted by mrsnj:
So....how does one advertise but yet turn away someone who clearly is not a fit without being rude??? I know it is coming. I just don't know how to avoid it and be nice in the same process.
Schedule an interview anyway and then at the end ...So....how does one advertise but yet turn away someone who clearly is not a fit without being rude??? I know it is coming. I just don't know how to avoid it and be nice in the same process.
"Okay, thank you for your interest and for coming by. I have several other interviews set up for this week and next week. Once I have met with them all and have come to a decision I will notify the selected client with my decision. Thanks again for coming by. It was great seeing you again"
You can also go through ALL of the policies with her and make it seem like you are very strict on policies ... don't budge on anything at all ... and if she says "Oh. Well, I do things this way ..." or "Well, this would work better for me if ..." or "Hmm, I'm not sure if that will work ..." etc. just stand up, smile and shake her hand and say "Oh ok. That's too bad but really, I understand. Well, good luck with your daycare search"