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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Thoughts On What Could Be the Delay(Long)
Unregistered 03:23 PM 10-04-2016
I am a member, but, logged out for privacy. I have had a dcb for 2 years now. He is 4 years old now and I just don't know what to think...well, honestly, I think he is on the spectrum, but, in a high functioning way if that makes sense. Here are the details.

He started with me when he was 2, transferred from another dc with many kids. He didn't speak much, if at all until he started preschool. I actually thought he may be deaf when he started. He wouldn't respond when I called him unless I was right there. Now, he is better, but, not as responsive as the other kids. After preschool, his speech improved ten fold. Now, he can say pretty much anything, but, is not conversational. EVER. I will say, "How was your day?" and I get nothing until I ask "Was it good?", to which I will then get, "Yes, good." He will also look out the window (as an example) and say, "look, the bus is coming!" when the bus is nowhere in sight but, he knows that we are getting ready to go outside to wait for it. It's almost like he knows he will be saying that sentence in a few minutes and says it then. I can't explain it. It happens all the time though. I have not had a conversation with him in 2 years. It's always very matter of fact sentences or a repeat of a sentence or word.

He is very content to play alone, with his tablet but, also does enjoy playing with the others. A lot of the time, they don't include him right away because he doesn't always play with them. He doesn't seem bothered when he isn't included either. He also has little issue going to people he doesn't "know" such as the people who get him on the bus or my in laws.

He also is very into routine. If I give him a different color cup, he will leave it all day long. Even if I tell him that it's his for the day. He knows he usually has a different color cup and won't touch it.

He is not great with eye contact, but, I wouldn't say he avoids it at all times. He is EXTREMELY intelligent compared to my own kids at his age. Last year, at 3, he could read all the letters on my shirt after only a few months of preschool. He is a great little boy! Potty trained but, here will not tell me when he has to go. I think it's because we have a routine. He comes in the afternoon and we go after lunch if he doesn't have to before. I just don't know what to think and I feel bad because he is so good but, I have been around a lot of kids his age and he is the only one I've never been able to talk to and get responses from. Thoughts? They have said he is definitely not on the spectrum and I have no idea what else could be the delay in social skills? Thanks!
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Ariana 05:42 PM 10-04-2016
Sounds to me like possibly high functioning autism or Aspbergers. I had a child who had similar "quirks". The parents did not see it at all and I slowly went insane trying to figure it all out! In the end I was 100% sure it was Aspbergers. From what I have read kids do not usually get diagnosed with Aspbergers until later in life because they tend to slip by unnoticed for the most part, meaning people just think they are "quirky" or "odd" but not in a way that hinders them too much. Girls are even harder to diagnose because they tend to figure out how to be social.

Have you completed an MCHAT? Maybe start there and see how things go? Although I am not sure there is one for this age group.
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spedmommy4 08:46 PM 10-04-2016
Originally Posted by Ariana:
Sounds to me like possibly high functioning autism or Aspbergers. I had a child who had similar "quirks". The parents did not see it at all and I slowly went insane trying to figure it all out! In the end I was 100% sure it was Aspbergers. From what I have read kids do not usually get diagnosed with Aspbergers until later in life because they tend to slip by unnoticed for the most part, meaning people just think they are "quirky" or "odd" but not in a way that hinders them too much. Girls are even harder to diagnose because they tend to figure out how to be social.

Have you completed an MCHAT? Maybe start there and see how things go? Although I am not sure there is one for this age group.
The MCHAT is only for use with kiddos between 18-30 months. It's a checklist to catch kids early. The new ASQ:SE has autism "red flags" built into their screening.

OP mentions a few things that stand out as red flags for ASD concerns. (Rigidity, difficulty with eye contact) There aren't so many that I'd be super concerned, unless there are other things.

Temperament and his intelligence could be playing a role here. Sometimes kids who really bright have interests that don't align with their peers. It makes it challenging for them to make friends.

Getting the parents perspective would also be a good in this situation. Are they concerned? If so, go from there. A good place to start with finding resources would be the local school district for an evaluation or the pediatrician.
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