Daycare.com Forum
Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>All the Fighting
mamamanda 08:03 AM 05-04-2015
I'm so frustrated with my kids fighting all the time. I just want to pull my hair out. It's got to be stressful for them to. I honestly don't know how to handle it. I'm to the point of considering put out a blanket for each of them & demanding they all stay in their own spots with a single toy. I have 5 3& 4 year olds who all have very dominant /controlling personalities. I've tried modeling polite problem solving skills, but they argue, take toys away, yell at each other, knock down their friends' block towers, all day long. If you knock down a tower you lose block privileges, take a toy away & you lose said toy. I don't know what else to do. They lose the blocks so they move to another play set & they fight over that. How do you teach them how to play nicely as a group? Has anyone else found themselves with a more aggressive group? If so, how do you handle that?
Blackcat31 09:42 AM 05-04-2015
Originally Posted by mamamanda:
I'm so frustrated with my kids fighting all the time. I just want to pull my hair out. It's got to be stressful for them to. I honestly don't know how to handle it. I'm to the point of considering put out a blanket for each of them & demanding they all stay in their own spots with a single toy. I have 5 3& 4 year olds who all have very dominant /controlling personalities. I've tried modeling polite problem solving skills, but they argue, take toys away, yell at each other, knock down their friends' block towers, all day long. If you knock down a tower you lose block privileges, take a toy away & you lose said toy. I don't know what else to do. They lose the blocks so they move to another play set & they fight over that. How do you teach them how to play nicely as a group? Has anyone else found themselves with a more aggressive group? If so, how do you handle that?
Stop allowing them to play in a group if they can't get along I'm so frustrated with my kids fighting all the time. I just want to pull my hair out. It's got to be stressful for them to. I honestly don't know how to handle it. I'm to the point of considering put out a blanket for each of them & demanding they all stay in their own spots with a single toy. I have 5 3& 4 year olds who all have very dominant /controlling personalities. I've tried modeling polite problem solving skills, but they argue, take toys away, yell at each other, knock down their friends' block towers, all day long. If you knock down a tower you lose block privileges, take a toy away & you lose said toy. I don't know what else to do. They lose the blocks so they move to another play set & they fight over that. How do you teach them how to play nicely as a group? Has anyone else found themselves with a more aggressive group? If so, how do you handle that?
Give them separate activities to do and make sure it's boring so they learn to appreciate how nice it is to play with someone else.
Swift and immediate consequences to fighting works great for the 3, 4 and 5 yr old age group!
rosieteddy 11:53 AM 05-04-2015
I would try the blanket idea or set up centers and use a timer.When my group got this way we did more walking. I always used a stroller and had "safety straps " .Each child had their spot we would walk at least 30 min play and walk back . Walking there was nothing to argue over and then they always took a great nap.
Controlled Chaos 12:22 PM 05-04-2015
My group recently went through a rough patch of bickering and fighting. After days and days of separating them, taking away privileges etc. I decided to try from the other end.
We talked about what kindness looks like. We drew pictures (3-5 yos) of what it looks like when they are kind. Then, I started "Caught Being Kind". If a child goes out of their way to be kind, they get a sticker or jelly bean (I never give candy so this is HUGE). It has made a huge difference in their behavior and my level of frustration in just 2 days. The younger ones mimic the olders behavior, so having the older kids modeling sharing and gentleness has a beautiful effect on the babies. I am thinking of making a sign on the door to post who was caught being kind and for what. Maybe a different color flower for each child with the good deeds they have done, and the action written on the petals...maybe a prize (like a dum dum sucker) when their flower is full...now I am just brainstorming lol
But maybe catching them being good well help.
We talked about what kindness looks like. We drew pictures (3-5 yos) of what it looks like when they are kind. Then, I started "Caught Being Kind". If a child goes out of their way to be kind, they get a sticker or jelly bean (I never give candy so this is HUGE). It has made a huge difference in their behavior and my level of frustration in just 2 days. The younger ones mimic the olders behavior, so having the older kids modeling sharing and gentleness has a beautiful effect on the babies. I am thinking of making a sign on the door to post who was caught being kind and for what. Maybe a different color flower for each child with the good deeds they have done, and the action written on the petals...maybe a prize (like a dum dum sucker) when their flower is full...now I am just brainstorming lol
But maybe catching them being good well help.
alicia@home 01:24 PM 05-04-2015
We recently started a sticker chart! Now, they are trying to find new ways of earning stickers. Each person has 3 behaviors they can earn stickers for. Also, if they earn a certain amount of stickers by the end of the week in each category we do something fun or have a special treat. This week we got temporary tattoos. So it keeps them motivated.
They still have their moments but we are trying to focus on the positive. And I give them stickers for anything they think is good. Even if it's small and seems like something silly to get a reward for. They did something good (even if it's small) and there's nothing wrong with rewarding them! Next time it'll be something big.
I got a ton of stickers at the dollar store! All different kinds, so they also enjoy picking those out.
They still have their moments but we are trying to focus on the positive. And I give them stickers for anything they think is good. Even if it's small and seems like something silly to get a reward for. They did something good (even if it's small) and there's nothing wrong with rewarding them! Next time it'll be something big.
I got a ton of stickers at the dollar store! All different kinds, so they also enjoy picking those out.
Hunni Bee 11:46 AM 05-05-2015
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Stop allowing them to play in a group if they can't get along
Give them separate activities to do and make sure it's boring so they learn to appreciate how nice it is to play with someone else.
Swift and immediate consequences to fighting works great for the 3, 4 and 5 yr old age group!
I had to do this. Its Spring Fever or something. Mine were being silly to the point of craziness and people were getting hurt, toys broken, etc. Stop allowing them to play in a group if they can't get along
Give them separate activities to do and make sure it's boring so they learn to appreciate how nice it is to play with someone else.
Swift and immediate consequences to fighting works great for the 3, 4 and 5 yr old age group!
My rule is no more than two people at anything except art. I have enough room and activities to separate each of my ten if need be.