Let me start off by saying I have NO problem with nursing parents (usually). But there is a mother who comes by everyday on her lunch break to nurse her son. It is such a disruption. When he first started, I thought she wouldn't do it for too much longer. Well he is turning a year old in a couple of days and her coming by to nurse is SO HARD on him. He cries for an hour (at least) after she leaves, whether I hold him or not. He wakes all of the kids up and nap time is no more. It is AWFUL. I have NO idea what to do. I've hinted around that this is hard on me and him, I've told her that he cries after she leaves for a while, I just don't know what to do. I'm stressed out about it. She told me that she is just going to let him decide when he doesn't want to be nursed anymore. I need advice!

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She is totally within her rights to allow her son to self-wean.

However you are totally within your rights to say no more nursing on site.

I would tell her that from now on she can not come to your house and nurse. HIS (and her) right to nurse should NOT supercede the other kids' right to a calm, peaceful and QUIET nap time not your right to not have to endure the hour long cry fest once she leaves.

Let her know that on site nursing will no longer be accommodated and that she is welcome to come pick up her child, take him wherever she would like and nurse him but she may not drop him back off unless he is calm and quiet or until AFTER nap time is over.

If she drops him back off and he continues to cry (I have a 30 minute limit) then she would need to come back and pick him up because right now the crying isn't bothering her (only you and the other kids) so she isn't going to stop or figure out a way to work with you until you make this be HER issue to solve.

Once you give the issue to her to figure out and refuse to allow the non-stop crying or refuse to allow the others to be disrupted, I bet she suddenly has a change of heart about when and how long her son nurses. If not, then you still win because she is not making you endure the crying upon 2nd drop off and the other kids will get a quiet peaceful rest time.

This has NOTHING to do with supporting breastfeeding moms and everything to do with the rights of everyone in your GROUP care, including you.

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Does the mother have a breast pump at home (I believe that is what they are called ) ? If she does, maybe she can bring her breast milk in sippy cups to daycare. It will stop the disruptions. He should be weaning to a bottle or sippy cup at his age. if this is her first child, she may be trying to breastfeed him longer because she is scared she will lose "bonding time" if she stops. As for him crying when she leaves, try distraction. Re direct him to a favorite activity or toy he likes at your daycare .

And the last advice I have for you is take a minute to count to ten silently when things get stressful. Visualize something that you find relaxing

I know the others here may have more detailed advice, but I wanted to try and help

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I am all for supporting BFMothers and I do older a spot to nurse during lunch. My policies state this
"nursing mothers may come at lunch to nurse their baby between 11am-12pm only. However if the child is hungry I will feed them prior to the mothers arrival. I will not make the infant wait to be nursed. Once a child has their first birthday I will no longer offer a place to nurse and no bottles will be offered at daycare. The child will be served the same meals as the other children in care."
I don't know if that helps but it might.

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I nursed my little until she was 2- and she was in group care. I never needed to nurse at daycare. I would nurse in the am and when I got her home after pick up. If it's messing up her supply, she can pump, but at this point, it's all comfort. She can nurse until he's 5, but there's no need to at daycare.

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I went through this EXACT same thing. Well, my dcb didn't cry after she left, but she did come everyday. And, she never came at the same time. It was so frustrating, disruptive, and exhausting, really. After 8 months of this, dcb self-weaned, thank goodness! Tell her it's not working out for you. Trust me, you won't regret it! Daycare life has been SO much better since she stopped coming.

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We have new regs coming into effect that say a nursing mother must be allowed to nurse at child care and we must provide a private place for them to do so . This applies to all providers who are lic. for infants up to age 2 .

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They are going to require you to allow onsite feeding after age one?

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We only have a few age ranges for licensing 0-2 and 2-12+ . you can be lic for both or over 2 .

Under 2 is considered in our infant age range so my lic specialist said this will apply to all children under 2 , or we can take that age range off our lic . Unless they re write the age group regs which is not being planned as of yet.

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Before coming down hard on the mom, I'd be sure I was very clear, rather than just hinting, about what's happening. Tell her you support breast feeding, and that it's wonderful for children to have that comfort and bonding. But that in this case, it's more difficult for the child than it is comforting. She doesn't have to wean at all, just provide breast milk. Surely, if she's attached enough to want to come every day, she'll want what's best for her child--and this clearly isn't it.

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