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  #1  
Old 08-20-2013, 07:32 AM
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Default DCK and My Kid // Kindergarten Advice Needed

My child enrolled in K, which began last week. DCK is the same age, and was also supposed to start K last week, but his parents didnt get it together to get him enrolled. He has already missed 2 days this week as well. DCM stated that, since DCD just rented an apt in the area, he can now go to the same school as my child, so I can transport them.

I am concerned about having DCK in my childs class. I dont want it to be a distraction for her (or him). Also, DCK is extremely far behind, and the parents do not do anything for him.

I dont mind transporting DCK if he goes the same days as my child, however I just want them to be placed in different classes. Should I email the school?

The last thing I want is my job to affect my childs academics.
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  #2  
Old 08-20-2013, 07:41 AM
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Honestly, your kid (and every other kid under the sun) is going to have distractions in school - and otherwise. I don't see how having the two in seperate classes will help your daughter, or help your DCB in any way.

You mentioned that DCB is behind... the reality is, your DD is going to have many many classmates and possibly friends who are behind in some way. She's also going to mingle with all sorts of people you'd rather she didn't - but that's just life - and you can't have her change classes or jobs every time... kwim?

I'd leave well enough alone.
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Old 08-20-2013, 07:45 AM
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I agree with LittleMM. Unfortunately there are some kids in every class that you'd rather not be there. The most I would do is speak to the teacher about encouraging your child to have other friends if they become isolated with DCK. I don't think it will be a problem. Usually teachers move children around and mix groups a lot so children have a chance to make lots of friends.

If you decide you don't want to transport blame liability & insurance. Tell them that you are not allowed to transport DCKs.
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Old 08-20-2013, 07:53 AM
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Years ago some one gave me advice about this type of thing and looking back it was the BEST advice ever...

They told me to never try and change the environment for your child (barring anything mentally or physically dangerous) simply because YOU are unhappy about it.

Too many times parents try to alter the world to make things easier on their kids but in reality what builds strong emotional and mentally healthy children is allowing them to be in less than perfect situations.

Children who have learned to adapt to all sorts of different situations and environments learn much earlier than their peers how to manage frustration and have good coping skills.

Often times what you feel will be an issue is viewed much differently through the eyes of your child.

I'd let it be and see how it plays out. This may be the perfect opportunity to help your child learn these skills should the situation become tough for either child.
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Old 08-20-2013, 07:53 AM
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Under normal circumstances, I know that my child will be exposed to all types of different people. I want her to have a fresh start at meeting new people, and not be influenced by dck. Perhaps I am being too overprotective. Academics are extremely important to me, which is the opposite of DCK's family stance. I just want to make sure that my child has the best start possible without my job interfering.
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  #6  
Old 08-20-2013, 07:58 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SunshineMama View Post
Under normal circumstances, I know that my child will be exposed to all types of different people. I want her to have a fresh start at meeting new people, and not be influenced by dck. Perhaps I am being too overprotective. Academics are extremely important to me, which is the opposite of DCK's family stance. I just want to make sure that my child has the best start possible without my job interfering.
Speaking as a mother on the opposite end of the school years (mine are both in college) but learning to cope with influence from "less than desirable" people is FAR more important than academics in the long run.

I USED to think good grades and academic progress was the key to everything....I now know that it is far more important to have good character, loyalty, people management skills, honesty and dependability etc..... verses a 4.0 GPA.

Last edited by Blackcat31; 08-20-2013 at 08:25 AM.
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Old 08-20-2013, 08:04 AM
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Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
Speaking as a mother on the opposite end of the school years (mine are both in college) but being learning to cope with influence from "less than desirable" people is FAR more important than academics in the long run.

I USED to think good grades and academic progress was the key to everything....I now know that it is far more important to have good character, loyalty, people management skills, honesty and dependability etc..... verses a 4.0 GPA.
That makes sense.... I may be posting in the future for advice on how to help her handle other people

I'll let it go for now and see what happens.
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  #8  
Old 08-20-2013, 08:20 AM
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I agree that mostly, a parent should prepare the child for the path, not the path for the child. BUT (always a but ) there have been times I have requested that my child NOT be placed with a dc kid for class. Not because I feel my child would mind or be affected in any way, shape or form. I've done it for ME and MY sanity. I like having some separation from dc.
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Old 08-20-2013, 08:21 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
Speaking as a mother on the opposite end of the school years (mine are both in college) but being learning to cope with influence from "less than desirable" people is FAR more important than academics in the long run.

I USED to think good grades and academic progress was the key to everything....I now know that it is far more important to have good character, loyalty, people management skills, honesty and dependability etc..... verses a 4.0 GPA.
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Old 08-20-2013, 08:39 AM
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I think that for kindergarten, your big concern should be your daughter gaining self help skills, social and behavioral skills. I would not worry about academics at all unless you see a specific struggle or hear that the teacher has concerns.
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  #11  
Old 08-20-2013, 08:41 AM
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Right now, you don't know if the daycare kid will even get into your daughter's class. If he does, you don't know if it will be a problem. I think you may be reading into the situation too far right now. If it becomes a problem in the future, you could address it then with the teacher.

There are a lot of kids in a kindergarten class these days--even if daycare kid gets into your daughter's class, the number of times she interacts with him during one day are likely to be pretty low unless they are best buds and they seek each other out for playmates. If she's more advanced, they will probably be in different learning groups throughout the day anyways.

Also--I don't think emailing the school will do you much good. Take the opposite point of view--what if you were trying to get your daughter into a class and another parent emailed and said: "I don't want that kid in my child's class." Would you want the school to listen to that parent? Every time someone had an issue with someone else, kids would be switching classes left and right. I don't think it's something schools will accommodate.
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Old 08-20-2013, 09:05 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by preschoolteacher View Post
Right now, you don't know if the daycare kid will even get into your daughter's class. If he does, you don't know if it will be a problem. I think you may be reading into the situation too far right now. If it becomes a problem in the future, you could address it then with the teacher.

There are a lot of kids in a kindergarten class these days--even if daycare kid gets into your daughter's class, the number of times she interacts with him during one day are likely to be pretty low unless they are best buds and they seek each other out for playmates. If she's more advanced, they will probably be in different learning groups throughout the day anyways.

Also--I don't think emailing the school will do you much good. Take the opposite point of view--what if you were trying to get your daughter into a class and another parent emailed and said: "I don't want that kid in my child's class." Would you want the school to listen to that parent? Every time someone had an issue with someone else, kids would be switching classes left and right. I don't think it's something schools will accommodate.
Our schools take parent requests for specific teachers and/or friends to be in the same class...

Imagine if a daycare parent called us and enrolled their child but said, "could you please make sure my child never sits by Johnny or plays in the same room with him?"
or
"If my child is on the swings, please don't allow Johnny to use them until my child is done."

Sunshine Mama~ I am NOT making light of your situation....just that the way Preschool Teacher wrote out her post, I couldn't help but picture us, as providers trying to accommodate a parent's request...
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  #13  
Old 08-20-2013, 09:16 AM
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Point well made. Does it need to be at least brought to the attention of the teacher (if they are in the same class), about the dc situation?
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Old 08-20-2013, 09:17 AM
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My son is entering 1st grade this year. Last year I had issues with attitude from his "best friend" and I had requested they not be placed in the same class for 1st grade. My sons teacher agreed and they are in different classes. It doesn't mean they will not see each other I just want my son to have the opportunity to meet other kids and not be bullied by his "best friend"
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Old 08-20-2013, 09:19 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
Speaking as a mother on the opposite end of the school years (mine are both in college) but learning to cope with influence from "less than desirable" people is FAR more important than academics in the long run.

I USED to think good grades and academic progress was the key to everything....I now know that it is far more important to have good character, loyalty, people management skills, honesty and dependability etc..... verses a 4.0 GPA.
Amen!
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Old 08-20-2013, 09:25 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by preschoolteacher View Post
Right now, you don't know if the daycare kid will even get into your daughter's class. If he does, you don't know if it will be a problem. I think you may be reading into the situation too far right now. If it becomes a problem in the future, you could address it then with the teacher.

There are a lot of kids in a kindergarten class these days--even if daycare kid gets into your daughter's class, the number of times she interacts with him during one day are likely to be pretty low unless they are best buds and they seek each other out for playmates. If she's more advanced, they will probably be in different learning groups throughout the day anyways.

Also--I don't think emailing the school will do you much good. Take the opposite point of view--what if you were trying to get your daughter into a class and another parent emailed and said: "I don't want that kid in my child's class." Would you want the school to listen to that parent? Every time someone had an issue with someone else, kids would be switching classes left and right. I don't think it's something schools will accommodate.
My school DOES take requests and thank goodness for that! I feel that at times, dc kids can be just like having a sibling in class. I know many parents of multiples often opt to have their kids separated so they can stand on their own feet and not be "one of the Smith triplets."

When I've put in my request, I've explained that they've been in dc together are more like siblings, etc. they have accommodated me. Obviously I've always kept it positive and don't make a habit of it. But it IS nice not to have dc issues cross over into school issues which does happen.
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Old 08-20-2013, 10:00 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
I USED to think good grades and academic progress was the key to everything....I now know that it is far more important to have good character, loyalty, people management skills, honesty and dependability etc..... verses a 4.0 GPA.
WOW!! I love this! I think I am going to print if out and keep on my fridge!
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  #18  
Old 08-20-2013, 10:46 AM
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Originally Posted by SunshineMama View Post
Point well made. Does it need to be at least brought to the attention of the teacher (if they are in the same class), about the dc situation?
I'm also at the other end of the grade spectrum but have been in dc since '87. All my kids have at some point or another, had a dckid in a class. I just let the teacher know at start of year that they may act more like best friends, siblings or enemies sometimes and to let me know if it becomes an issue.

I wouldn't stress over a dckids influence on your child unless your child were exposed to dckids homelife that was different than yours significantly.

Your influence is what matters. Not that of a classmate who happens to come to daycare.

Just my honest opinion. Not meant to offend.
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Old 08-20-2013, 06:24 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SunshineMama View Post
Point well made. Does it need to be at least brought to the attention of the teacher (if they are in the same class), about the dc situation?
I think a heads-up that they are in daycare together would be appreciated. I had two boys in one of my classes that were cousins and spent a lot of time together, but their families didn't mention it to us until a few weeks into the school year. It sure explained a lot about their behavior---which was nothing out of the norm for best friends/cousins, but not what you'd expect from two 3-year-olds who had supposedly just met each other.
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Old 08-20-2013, 07:05 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
Speaking as a mother on the opposite end of the school years (mine are both in college) but learning to cope with influence from "less than desirable" people is FAR more important than academics in the long run.

I USED to think good grades and academic progress was the key to everything....I now know that it is far more important to have good character, loyalty, people management skills, honesty and dependability etc..... verses a 4.0 GPA.
I could not agree with this more!!!
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