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  #1  
Old 09-13-2017, 06:54 AM
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Default Daycare Interviews After Care Has Begun

I am legally unlicensed. I can only care for one family who is unrelated to me. I have 1 family of 3 kids.

I met with the mom no kids. The second meeting was supposed to have the kids and the dad. Divorced. Dad didn't come.

Meetings went very well. They started mid august.

So now a month later dad and his wife want to meet with me. On Monday. I said ok but I can't help but feel like I have already set the time aside to meet them and they choose not to come.

They are going to court and I can't help but feel like I am being brought into their family drama.

Has anyone had a similar experience? It just seems like dad and mom are not on the same page with having me as their daycare provider.
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Old 09-13-2017, 07:30 AM
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Dad may want to meet with you so when they go to court he knows who the daycare provider is, and he is involved in the child's life. If you think about it, how does it look to the judge if dad hasn't even met you.
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Old 09-13-2017, 07:34 AM
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Dad may want to meet with you so when they go to court he knows who the daycare provider is, and he is involved in the child's life. If you think about it, how does it look to the judge if dad hasn't even met you.
Dad pickes up Tuesday's and Thursday's. He has met me but hasn't been very warm to me. Grabs his kids and doesn't say hi or bye or anything.
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Old 09-13-2017, 07:34 AM
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Do it during care hours. You only have THIER Kids so worries no about privacy. Also search here and read up on divorced parents situations and have a plan of how you are going to handle things before-hand. (I.e. not being a go between or getting in the middle.)
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Old 09-13-2017, 08:48 AM
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Did anyone provide an explanation as to why the dad didn't show up during the scheduled meeting?

Depending on that, I may have a different reply.
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Old 09-13-2017, 08:59 AM
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Did anyone provide an explanation as to why the dad didn't show up during the scheduled meeting?

Depending on that, I may have a different reply.
Mom said he didn't want to.
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Old 09-13-2017, 09:05 AM
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Mom said he didn't want to.
In that case, I'd make sure that you meet with dad and his new wife when it is convenient for YOU.

I would also let him know now that ANY time you set aside for discussion in regards to THEIR child(ren) will not be up for negotiation.

I understand DCD and new wife maybe not wanting to meet at the same time DCM is present but for goodness sake, they are going to have to figure out how to get over themselves and CO-PARENT. The child(ren) deserves that.

NO matter what hoopla the parents have going on between them, the child(ren) they created together deserve peace even if they couldn't do that while together they'll have to now.

Good luck.... managing divorced parents is tough....even tougher when they are immature and not behaving like adults.
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Old 09-13-2017, 09:16 AM
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In that case, I'd make sure that you meet with dad and his new wife when it is convenient for YOU.

I would also let him know now that ANY time you set aside for discussion in regards to THEIR child(ren) will not be up for negotiation.

I understand DCD and new wife maybe not wanting to meet at the same time DCM is present but for goodness sake, they are going to have to figure out how to get over themselves and CO-PARENT. The child(ren) deserves that.

NO matter what hoopla the parents have going on between them, the child(ren) they created together deserve peace even if they couldn't do that while together they'll have to now.

Good luck.... managing divorced parents is tough....even tougher when they are immature and not behaving like adults.
Black cat can you help me recover my log in information?
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Old 09-13-2017, 09:20 AM
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Black cat can you help me recover my log in information?
Sure can! What is your username?

I can send you a reset link...
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Old 09-13-2017, 09:26 AM
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Sure can! What is your username?

I can send you a reset link...
abcdaycare
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Old 09-13-2017, 09:33 AM
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Originally Posted by TheMisplacedMidwestMom View Post
Do it during care hours. You only have THIER Kids so worries no about privacy. Also search here and read up on divorced parents situations and have a plan of how you are going to handle things before-hand. (I.e. not being a go between or getting in the middle.)
I use a paraphrased version of bc's letter to divorced parents. When they separate or come in separated, they get a special chat and that letter.

-no supplies back and forth to parents houses
-I contract with ONE parent for payment, etc. I won't go back and forth.
-No bad mouthing other parent
-I get copies of court ordered custody arrangements.
-dcp that contracted gets say in authorized pick up persons.
-I cannot refuse the other parent at any time.
-custody arrangements do not supercede the daycare schedule. Don't care if it's dads night to pick up and he works until 6. Someone gets the kid at the contracted pick up time.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
In that case, I'd make sure that you meet with dad and his new wife when it is convenient for YOU.

I would also let him know now that ANY time you set aside for discussion in regards to THEIR child(ren) will not be up for negotiation.

I understand DCD and new wife maybe not wanting to meet at the same time DCM is present but for goodness sake, they are going to have to figure out how to get over themselves and CO-PARENT. The child(ren) deserves that.

NO matter what hoopla the parents have going on between them, the child(ren) they created together deserve peace even if they couldn't do that while together they'll have to now.

Good luck.... managing divorced parents is tough....even tougher when they are immature and not behaving like adults.


Dcd, I was disappointed that you could not come to the previous two interviews I had with dcm, and dcm & children. I have an additional 15 minutes or so X day and time if you want to meet briefly. (I would make this PREVIOUS to drop off, eg. they pick up at 5:30, make it 5:15, wrap it up at 5:30 "It was nice getting to chat with you-stand up shake hands- Glad we are on the same page. The kids are great!"

YOU lead this 'interview'. You make it clear you aren't there to take sides, you're there to provide care for the children and do what's in their best interest-which is to keep the drama and details OUT of their daycare life.
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Old 09-13-2017, 09:41 AM
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abcdaycare
If you are ABCDaycareMN I sent you a username and password reset link

Let me know if you make it back on. If not, I'll see what else we can do to get you logged in.
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  #13  
Old 09-13-2017, 11:12 AM
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If you are ABCDaycareMN I sent you a username and password reset link

Let me know if you make it back on. If not, I'll see what else we can do to get you logged in.
Thank you. I got right on, I just didn't have the MN in the username.
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  #14  
Old 09-13-2017, 11:32 AM
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Thank you. I got right on, I just didn't have the MN in the username.
Well welcome back!
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Old 09-13-2017, 12:07 PM
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Mom said he didn't want to.
Is it possible mom never told dad about the initial meeting? It doesn't excuse his rude behavior when he picks his kids up on Tuesdays and Thursdays but maybe he's cool toward you because he feels as though he had no say in choosing you? I would offer to meet with dad and his wife if only to get to know him a little better and maybe establish a better working relationship with him. if he tries to discuss the divorce and court date, I'd just let him know you really prefer to be a neutral party for the sake of his kids.
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